AWAKENING

Deception's eclipse
swallows the soul,
drowning
in denial's cistern.

Fate's rainfall
washes away
the soot of seduction
from the eyes.

Creating crystal vision,
so one
can paddle.

EXTRAVAGANCE

More than enough, often unnecessary, but still very pleasing to the eye. That would be want comes to my mind when I think of extravagance. Something not required, so it is considered a waste in some eyes.

And with some forms of such things this is understandable. For when one is involved with tangible issues where need is involved it can be difficult to understand why one person has so much luxury and another one is in poverty. This kind of inequity never helps any of us nor is it viewed as a good thing.

But there are times when opulence does say something important. Providing it isn't about greed, but for inspiration.

That does make so much sense to some, but it can be true with the things of God. For there are times when we are called upon by faith to honor the Lord in a special way.

We do if for the purposes of faith and to express a love for God. It isn't about trying to some how impress others with our achievements. Or to in anyway to act with arrogance.

Instead it is to simply honor the Lord. Some would criticize such behavior. They would regard the use of resources for testimonials to the Lord as a waste.

Which is why some have confused the funds received with church as being for the exclusive purpose of helping others. They would treat churches as nothing more than a form of charity.

A church may reach out to help others. But it isn't the only reason they exist. And it is always those who don't follow God who want to tell the rest of us what a church should do.

They too would define Christianity by their standard. What is said is when the church accepts such criteria.

For then it becomes a function designed only to please men. God gets shoved into a corner and doesn't even get to be considered at all.

Such is the tragedy of misdirected spirituality. Or that which is made by those who define religion by some human standards.

It will always end up a measurement that falls short of what is beneficial and that never aids the process. It might make those who want to place boundaries on Christianity, but it never improves life or faith.

So there are times when God calls upon those who follow in faith to act out of obedience. It might draw criticisms, but we shall prevail if all is according to his will, which is the most important element.

REST

I'm sure most of us have those days when we come to the end of the daylight feeling totally exhausted instead of full energized. Where all we want to do is lie down and rest.

That is something that does really make a person inclined to groan out of relief that day is over. And it is easy to wonder at times how come things have to be so exhausting too.

As if we couldn't feel a rush of euphoria over the experience. Just be able to sit back, smile and feel a sense of victory from surviving it all.

But it never seems to quite work out that way. We just don't feel all that victorious. Tired, but not victorious.

Somewhere in all that exhaustion can linger the question of is this really worth? If we have been doing the same thing for years, even more so.

And if those thoughts fester too long, it can build into a terrible ache. Some hunger that digs deep into our essence and says, "quit."

We can easily engage in such situations in deciding that we deserve a reward for all that faithfulness. In reality, we are saying in directly how we feeling cheated because we didn't get a reward.

That leads to the need to reach out for what we feel has been denied to us. Which never quite ends up with rewards we crave.

Does it mean we don't have a right to be resentful? I think we have a right and need to be honest about our feelings with the Lord. To tell him what is on our soul.

This doesn't mean he will necessarily reward us for such prayers. That doesn't necessarily follow.

What it does mean is that he can have his holy spirit touch us with understanding. And that can include sight into things beyond our understanding.

We have to also embrace the truth about our own lives. That means we have accept that at times we have not, because we really have not asked.

There is a difference between praying for God's help and actually expecting it. Just praying and not truly expecting him to keep his promise are not the same.

It is so easy to fall into that rut of praying without such mind set. And also to not accept our limitations. God knows what we are capable of and what we will never to. He will reach out to us in love and help us where we are. Some will find that leads to the limelight others will not. But wherever it leads as long as God is guiding we will be at the destination carrying his blessings.

TIMES WHEN CHANGE COMES

Ah, the terrific image this invokes when I think of the good that happens from these moments. I wish they were all that way, but they aren't.

So one accepts that change is inevitable and not always going to bring good. Unless you focus on learning from the mistakes. Then you can savor the time as having a blessing.

That can be so challenging and difficult when you are talking about crisis where they stab you in the heart with emotions. You feel like you are totally devastated emotionally.

It sure can be so difficult and challenging to face this reality and actually get excited. Even harder to do it in a way that says thank you God.

Oh yeah, that is extra tough if the change hurts. And to it when you mean it can even be harder.

But we do have above all, honest. For it never pays to lie to God. And even thinking you is totally absurd.

However, we do it. And normally in an indirect method. With the use of lots of excuses. Yep that is so much fun.

It doesn't change reality, just makes it easier to accept our shortcomings. That won't eliminate them, but will make it sound better.

What we can rely upon is knowing there will always be change. Good or bad, we know it will come.

It is just a matter of choice. To first of all embrace this aspect of life without resignation. Meaning we don't kid ourselves that we have arrived in our thinking to the point that we never have to worry about another problem.

That can be an easy place to visit, but it doesn't mean we will be correct for visiting it. Nor will it improve life.

So instead we need the focus of sight that sees life with variables. Accepts the wisdom of being prepared and does not make excuses for we are wrong.

That will open our minds for God's love to drape us with peace where others have none. How many times I've witness those who are dead inside. People who raced towards rainbows hoping to find a pot of gold that never existed.

Then when things fail they are left destitute and unable to admit their problems. Just becoming another broken vessel walking the land naked of dreams. That is part of life some will never accept. Others will just close their eyes, never seeing God in the sunlight that is always there.

ASSURANCE

Ascending the rugged cleft of questioning
soul pines to gaze through veils of clouds
and touch the face of God.

Standing with arms outstretched,
naked of heart and surrendered of spirit,
calling forth in desperate plea
to see the pastoral splendor of eternity.

Immortal voice opens the sky
eyes behold the mystic wonder
inhaling heaven's unfolding treasures
in the gossamer golden lights
of life's exquisite pleasures
ignited by divine hands.

Immersed in the flood of awe
heart dressed in the rainbow tapestry
seeping inside in deep swells of serenity.

Doubt's wasteland suffocating one's thoughts
is washed away be the illumination of immortal strokes
painting exquisite hues upon the mind.

Panorama's elegance of stately mountains and lush vales
turns to psalm in a heartbeat for their creator
as one feels the quiver from an invisible angelic caress,
overcome by the power of the Lord's enduring love
showered in vivid hints of being to Him a fragile dove.

WONDERFUL

I think this is such a great word. It would be hard to imagine it being used to describe something that wasn't truly fabulous.

Which is providing that we are all talking from the same frame of reference. Otherwise, the word can lose its value in our thinking.

And asking what is wonderful by God's yardstick is even more challenging. For with the Lord wonderful almost always involves a path that is not always free or the things we figure are not terrific.

It can be challenging to always appreciate this reality. Being human our focus will naturally be on this life.

I don't think God is insensitive to the needs of this life. Just understand better than we do what truly makes for blessings and what hurts.

That can leave us less than thrilled if we are short sighted in our thinking. If we only cleave to the now and what we think will satisfy.

And there are times when God will not grant us what we think is best because in the long run it will be harmful. Only it may be rather hard for us to always accept this at the time.

We follow our desires and passions. That is normal. But not always the path that is beneficial.

Can we accept a journey with more valleys than mountains? Are we prepared to see each step one that is intended to teach?

I can't answer that for everyone. How could I? I only know how in my own life this has not been a journey I have understood.

I have seen so many who have ventured into places I did not feel I could travel. And from what I have seen there have been plenty of occasions when the confession of the person has not been laced with joy.

They have had their share of laments of the failures. And that hardly makes that choice very helpful.

As for me, well I'm sure I've missed out on some things in life that a different path might have offered. Would they have been wonderful?

Guess I'll never know for sure. Because I'm just now learning all that makes my real path wonderful.

That is enough for the moment and I rest in that reality.

ALWAYS AN EMBER

There are some moments in life that time never seems to completely cool. At least not that I can tell.

Memories do have emotions. Some good and some bad. We don't always get a chance to filter out the bad ones.

Wish that were the option, but it isn't. Instead we have to carry around in our mind all the baggage of life not just the suitcases of smiles.

But the problem is that there are times when life it would be great to erase the bad times. They can smolder in our thinking and resurface in a second for one reason or another.

Which is okay, as long as we don't pretend they don't exist. Such is the nature of life. I've known so many who have said they have forgiven some wrong or moved on from an experience, but in reality they never do.

You can tell in the way they talk about the event. Their voice carries the emotions and feelings like it was still alive.

If one doesn't admit and confront that truth, they those experiences truly smolder in one's mind. They never go away or end up truly being forgotten.

I had a discussion early with a person on this subject. They wanted to believe the past was over and they never thought about it as still alive.

Yet the spirit said otherwise. I could tell the memories still haunted and bother them. Oh in their thinking the past was over.

And the fact they had learned from it did contribute to the thinking. But in reality they still had those feelings that it was alive on the inside.

It was just hard to admit to. And problem they never seem to be capable of accepting. And as a result it still manifested itself in their lives on a different level.

This is the part that truly does haunt. When the past still eats at us and we don't think it does.

God does forgive us. And at times when we have trouble forgiving ourselves, it does help to trust to the Lord for our forgiveness.

We may still have the burden upon our lives, but we can trust to the lord for strength to keep moving ahead. Honesty does bear down upon us a times.

Spending time pretending we don't have the same urges at the rest of the world never brings the fruit of peace.

FINGERNAILS

Alone
behind the walls
of one's most cherished foundations,
crowning life
in the aura of self declaration.

Ensconced upon a wobbling throne
composed of tales of greatness,
mirrors covered
to ignore
the blunt reality.

Till another's fingers in pain,
reach out in their own loneliness,
letting one touch of tips
refrain
a need for further delusion.

Smiles infect in calming thoughts,
being another mortal with mar
isn't a tragedy or hell
when somebody else
can show you the dirt
growing under their
fingernails.

FORTUNES

Sadly life can have so many moments of lost opportunities. Those occasions when one is "this close" to seeing reward and it eludes us.

Those can be such heart breaking moments. You can be in a position where everything seems right and perfect and then it doesn't work.

And if you have prayed about and are totally convinced that is had God's will in it, that can make it even more frustrating. Which can be so hard to cope with at times.

Then comes the times of questions. The wondering why you had to even endure such questions and experiences. You might be questioning God, but won't admit it openly.

Of course there are the times when things do work out or something unexpected happens for the good. That can be just as much of a challenge.

For the mind will naturally analyze the situation to try and see if it can make any sense. That it will someone be made into a situation we can duplicate later.

It is all part of the mental exercise we got through at times. We just don't always admit it. Sometime we prefer to just define it by some method we think will work for us.

Which has nothing to do with God's view. Nor with his will. And in reality fortunes do come and go for a variety or reasons.

Sometimes that can be an issue where we truly reaped a reward for doing something write others not so true. That part isn't always critical.

What can be true is that we find ourselves in need to understand the truth always. To not forget that God is sovereign over all.

That means being able to accept when what happens to us has a higher purpose than just a given incident. And to be able to embrace when it follows the path that is his will regardless of how we chose to view it.

Listening to God's spirit can be challenging when emotions get in the way. They can truly interfere with the process.

But God does have a way of getting our attention. And when he does, we hopefully learn the truth.

In the end the most important lesson being how nothing good from God is ever meant to lure us away from trusting him. And there are times when that included his not granting us a given fortune if it means it would corrupt us in our faith.

Fortunes come in many forms. Sometimes those include God knowing when a blessed would really be a curse.

SHADOWY LAYERS

Beneath the skin seen by light, lurk the many darker hues of our thoughts. They may even contain light. For underneath the texture of our smiles and the glow from our eyes the soul stirs its pot of emotions and desires.

Somewhere people got the idea I guess that you could purge yourself of every bad thought. That it is possible to think only good and loving thought.

I think the problem with that is one of sin. There are elements of sin to our nature that always remain unseen by our eyes.

That is why I'm always guarded and feel sad for those that enjoy thinking they are capable of not having any negative thoughts. I wish them well with such fantasies.

To be honest from my view I do accept that is what they honestly believe. It really doesn't represent the way God sees us. I think the scriptures reveal that.

And the ones who have the biggest problem are the ones who think they have it all figured out. Spiritual pride is such a disaster in terms of insight.

That is because one doesn't listen. And then one isn't able to appreciate that sin is in reality a force. It infects us to the core.

That means it touches us even in the places we consciously don't understand. Those are the layers god truly understands. And he forgives us for them too.

For me, that is why I have no illusion about goodness. And no real need to pretend that I have any good thoughts either. They might not all be bad, but they are not all good.

I guess being aware that sin does run that deep keeps me from feeling a need to even try and pretend that I'm good. To venture into the land of denial where I think I good deed wipes out a life time of bad ones.

It doesn't work that way. And what amazes me the most is that God still grants me the love and calling to serve him.

Oh I did have that spiritual stupidity side at one point that presumed I could somehow be a perfect paragon of spirituality. But I got over it praise the Lord!

Now, I just celebrate is grace and try to follow him as best I can. I sin along the way and am not proud of this fact, but I embrace God's love just the same.

And that gives me strength to face the times when I feel I disappoint the most. The main way is by faith. Trusting in god's promise of forgiveness to those how by faith accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. It makes the difference and that is enough for me. Not for some, but for me.

SHOCKS

The little tremors that cause the most grief. None of us is perfect. Doesn't mean we don't wish we were.

But the thing is I guess, we do have the times when perhaps some flaw in our being remains undetected. Part of the reason is because nothing may have happen to give us a reason to change or even know that is our weakness.

And if it doesn't necessarily impact our life or behavior to a degree that intrudes on our spirituality, then God may not prod us to notice that problem. We can go years without even sensing it. Even die without understanding that condition.

You can never obtain total clarity in this life. That never happens till we reach eternity. It is where God will give us a pair of perfect eyes.

Until then, the mirror only shows us a reflection. One that hides some of the truths we need God's spirit to help us understand.

Which can take a lifetime in some cases. We just need time to embrace certain facts or details as they relate to our life and nature.

It is a struggle at times to be able to embrace this process. Sometime we will actually resist. For it will mean change and none of us likes to always face such shocks to our system.

We will endure and find the gold from such trials if we keep our eyes focus on learning what it is that God wants us to learn. It can be painful at times.

But the pain is always replaced by a joy. The opportunity to grow in our spirit and mind. To rise above the moment and find the joy that truly is there for our welfare.

God is there to bless us with such moments. He is not trying to punish necessarily. But that may be hard to always appreciate.

Unless we listen to the voice of god. Then his spirit will guide and inspire. We can find the time that gives us the best sense of calm.

Only it does come after the storms. And we can feel the struggle inside from all the battering and shocks it provides.

Quietly we dry out from the tears and challenges the drenched. Enough so we can face where God intended us to always walk.

Beyond the point of our blindness. To place that gives glimpses of heaven. And then we find the shadows aren't quite as scary as we thought. That always touches in such a beautiful way.

THE SHADOWS OF A DAY

We don't always know
when the sun of our lives
will be lost to an unexpected darkness.

Blackness sweeping over our hearts,
unable to see or feel without the light
which once burned so steady and bright.

No one steps along the heart beat trail
that at times it doesn't lead into a valley.

Though we think it will last forever
they all come to an end.

Looking back we can see the footprints so clearly
and sometimes they were painful,
ones unable to forget.

Sunrise will still someday bring
its own rays of hope,
warming and perhaps healing
the shadows of a day.

LAMENTS

Well who doesn't have these at times? I think it would be impossible to go through life and not have the moments we panic and feel totally broken.

Naturally, those are not times we feel a need to celebrate. We will need a feel a need to complain. Course complaining is never a process that gets us any improvement in some problems.

It will make a different in certain situations. In others, the venting might feel good, but otherwise it probably won't make any difference.

With a complain, it can be valid if the problem was unjust or undeserved. However, if we feel it deeply in ours spirits it can reach down so far into our souls we can truly be in need of that type of painful moan that comes from pure despair.

If one has a complaint it is different. You might be angry, but outside of venting or trying to take care of the problem, you will get over it.

With a lament I think it runs so much farther into being a cumulative sensation. Something that has built up over the years.

Which only magnifies the problem. It can take a minor issue and make it seem like the end of the world.

Too many times this can be like having your guts ripped out. That can so cripple one's mood.

And unlike a simple complaint with a lament, it truly does need to be lifted up to the Lord. For only his spirit has the power to touch where we hurt in such situations.

He can give us peace when we have none. He can touch where we hurt the most. And that is always a blessing.

Providing we reach up and seek him first and foremost. Then he will extend his love to help us through the shadows. It can be such a blessing too.

For with his help we can find a calm in the middle of our storm. To let him offer us a life preserver that will help us to endure.

Doesn't mean we won't get soaked, just that we will survive and that is the important part. For that will help to see where live is in balance. And that means a lot.

It can let us reach beyond ourselves to places we can truly rise above who we are and see life as more. Then we can see our lament for what it is and not for the end of the world. Calm can touch us in the process. Life can become a song. And we can savor it for always with God's help.

TRAVELS THROUGH THE DARKNESS

If there were only light in the world, how would we learn to appreciate the darkness? I admit that I would love to find out at times.

I can imagine the joy of not having to deal with all the sins of life any longer. Not just those manufactured by others, but also by myself.

Yet, I know in my thinking I would have the aspect of knowing. I would have something to compare it to.

So it wouldn't be the same as never knowing what has lurked it the shadows. And I'm not sure that is a good option at this point. I would just enjoy not having them as much.

Just to be able to savor times when you could avoid those dark spots. Long enough to truly feel the joy of light without shadows.

I can't imagine that ever happening in real life. In heaven yes, but not in this life. What a joy it could bring, but again not realistic.

Still, is there anything we can do that might make this whole situation more credible and tolerable? That is a fair question.

Only that doesn't mean we necessarily want the answer as it is truly part of who were are. The truth we will always have the darkness in this life. But we don't need to let it consume us.

Instead we can let God grants us the power of his holy spirit to shine a candle into the darkness. It will help to guide, but also see ourselves more clearly.

Such are the ways of the Lord. What guides also exposes. It brings both truth about the world and truth about ourselves.

We might not savor that part. It only burdens us with the need to be honest. That doesn't mean we should ignore it.

For each journey gives light of its own. A beacon of accountability that will help us understand our part in the universe.

Each step grants us its own meaning if we let it touch us as intended. We move through a valley with more blessing because we are not alone.

Then we can find the guidepost only God can reveal. Raise a flag of his meaning that will mark the spot in our minds.

To celebrate the moment with a quiet time of praise. Facing tomorrow with joy from knowing the journey will not kill.

NOW OR FORGET IT

Now
is the conscious clarity,
the poignant pen dipped in our second's well,
writing where our heartbeat bends
feeling every thought expressed before
in the prickly bite of reflection's winds.

Birth and renewal,
vigor and frailty,
collect in collages of firework fancy,
dancing failure's skeletons beguile their fears,
but it is all a fleeting soliloquy of vanity
if our face we see in the mirror
never ages with lucid gazes,
serving itself over to a mental morgue
drinking excuses formaldehyde
waiting to sign on the dotted line
of a grant deed to a plot.

Today is our womb of possibilities,
virginal and undefiled,
if in our soul we are still learning and growing,
instead of digging holes
for hiding from tomorrow's worries
over doubt's mirages.

PARADISE SMILES

Ah, what a joy when your eyes can flare with the image of heaven in your mind. Some glowing expression that suggests you have experienced a taste of paradise.

It might be related to something other than that view or feeling, but it can also be that too. The point being I suppose that we will have a different look when we truly are feeling that sense of inward peace.

What causes it will depends on what is important to us. That doesn't mean it always comes from God.

Would that was the case, but it isn't. And what is amazing is how those who claim to be spiritual, can often be the ones who do not have real paradise smiles. Oh if asked they will claim it is the case, but when you get past what they say to the second layer where they truly say how they really feel.

And somewhere in all of that will be the comments that do not reflect what people really say is their reason for happiness. Too bad it has to even be that way.

Then there are the ones who happen to speak from the heart, but don't appear as saintly. they can be the true voices of the Lord at times. Only you have to honestly listen beyond the smiles.

Serenity that is not true serenity never truly achieves its purpose. We see the painted on smiles all the time.

But they will never stay honest or real in the process. Such is the nature of when we chase what God does happen to say is true.

Life doesn't always transcend our version of smiles. It can drape us in other than what we really feel.

To move beyond the illusion is where God seeks to bring us. It is the place where the false smiles can be replaced by visions from his real paradise.

We climb upon a ladder of expectations, but it doesn't lead upwards if we only see it as a stepping stone to somewhere that is our choice and not Gods. Only our heart can hear what God bears witness in our soul.

To endure this reality is to face the light that he has given. To see with the eyes he grants in a way that annoints.

That will bring a joy we can't find in other ways. One based upon reality and truth. Where God grants a real reason to smile.

Touching his truth will always bless more than lies.

MYSTIC JOURNEYS

To travel by the mind into the realm of secrets and questions is to open the soul to places not always traveled by others. Not that we can always tell for sure.

For God can open veils in our lives to be able to see things that were always there, but we didn't notice before. It can be a wonderful and rewarding experience, but not always one you can explain to somebody else.

Because it touches at God's spirit leads. He can bring us to a point of vision that makes the world so much different than imagined.

But we can never make this journey by logic or what others define as good or sensible. It is always a pilgrimage intended to teach. So such visions, touching by spiritual messages or simple revelations are always mean to inspire.

They will be tailored to our senses. To let us see clearly what we need to know. And it will not spare us the feelings intended.

For God has a desire to bless us in such situations. To communicate a thought or image that truly overpowers us in a good way.

The whole time we might not even appreciate the reality. We may avoid embracing what is intended.

God will not force light into our being. He never takes us to a place we refuse to journey by our own will.

But if we embrace what is intended, it can truly inspire and help us see the world differently. Granting us mercy, giving us understanding, adding peace to our existence.

All intended to help inspire more faith. To let us move in great appreciation towards more reality.

Then we will see the mystical as really an expression of God's beauty. A place where he lets us see part of heaven.

When we travel that path, inspiration washes over our lives. We dream a better world in which to live.

Life doesn't necessarily get perfect, but we do savor its blessing more. Perhaps the best mystical part being that we discover how much God truly loves us.

That is worth so much more than all the secrets we think we need to know. And that is a trip for the heart that ends with a better destination so much more peaceful and joyful than any others we might travel.

For that we are always to celebrate when we see it clearly.

REVENUE STRIDES

Labors of the heart done in hope of profit. A constant obsession when in need of survival. Which is pretty much all the time for most of us.

What sucks us dry though is labor without reward. I have been struggling with this a lot lately.

When one walks a path chosen by God he doesn't line that path only with gold. In fact it may not have any gold at all.

And at times it might even have too many occasions of falling to cactus. As I look back at my own life I have always been so discourage by the times when trusting the Lord and trying to be obedient has brought heartache.

I might not expect it to bring riches or blessings constantly, but heartache is tough choice a times. It is like being punished for doing right. The mind has a tough time accepting tht as a blessing.

There are many I have seen in life who aren't faithful and yet have lots of good things happen to them. It is very hard on one's heart and soul to see how often that happens.

You just sit and ask the obvious question, what's wrong with me Lord? How come I don't deserve as much out of life as this other person who doesn't even worship you?

If one is honest that question does touch at times. I didn't say we actually admit to it. At least not to the lord.

Instead, we can get depressed or upset and even resent this situation. It can be even worse if in the process of prayer for understanding it doesn't happen.

That can really rip at the guts. And if we pray for understanding and things get worse, oh my that can really weigh on our souls.

Those are times when God truly tests our faith. For he never promises perfection in this life. Nor the blessings were crave.

Instead we follow in our hearts without knowing. We seek and are faithful only savoring the image of heaven to keep us going.

Is that enough? Not always. Is it what we must embrace? Yes. For God at times will not allow us to do other than trust in him.

That can last a life time in some cases. And even if the vision isn't clear. We must keep walking.

Such is the nature of truth that we don't always care to face, but it is the truth just the same.

TRAVELING

Darken cerebral catacombs of succulent sway
suck spirit in serpentine snarls,
seducing in midnight's language,
enticing passion's playmate.

Throngs of thought zombies
parrot their captive logic.

In the clamor
one smells the inner light's flame,
revealing a road having your name
guiding to where one looks at mirror
without lies.

TOTALLY

Ah, this is such a sweet phrase. Something that is without any flaws. An evident or item that is utterly complete. And let me tell you this is so rare in real life that one can't help being truly excited when it happens.

It is just a pity one can't achieve this more often in our efforts at life. Which is not that surprising. After all totally is so complete that you never worry about lacking something. How many things can you say that about?

None that I know of as a rule. In fact I would have to say the only time I have personally experienced it was the result of a mistake and not on purpose.

Which only makes my me want this option all the more. But getting it is never easy that is for sure.

As for when it happened to me, it was when I was trying to get the best of a political opponent. I was working so hard to arrange a way to sabotage the guy.

You know totally ruin his character? Now that would have been glorious. And it did happen.

Only not by my plans. What took place is that I had all this garbage peddled to smear the guy's reputation and it wasn't even remotely true.

But that is the nature of gossip you understand. It doesn't have to be true. Just has to be believed.

Honestly, that is the priority with such tactics. It does have to be believable though. That is the most critical part.

Well in this case what happened was that nobody ended up believing the stuff I was peddling. And that really disappointed me.

I mean okay I did get carried a way a little, like about him having an affair with an alien. I admit that did sound good at the time, but was totally rejected by everyone.

The thing was, that here I sat and trying to regroup with new lies when suddenly it turned out that the guy admitted to actually claming he was an alien. Apparently, he has a small problem with reality.

But that sure didn't upset me any. After all I ran with opposition at that point. With him a guest at that mental ward the citizens were prudent enough to not vote for him.

Such is the nature of fate at times. When you least expect it you get a break. Now if only I had a way to make that happen when I wanted. Ah, that would totally be a joy. Maybe some day!

NEVER, BUT THEN

I love dealing with some people who get into these moods of the whole world is always black and white. They will never do certain things, no matter what happens.

Course you generally find out such comments are not as solid as they claim. Basically, it comes down to the issue of being able to lie to yourself in a convincing way.

If you are embracing of God’s gift of grace, then forgiveness is part of one’s life, so the need to excuse failing is harder to help in terms of inspiration. Only you can’t always get some to appreciate that.

This is an endless cycle of behavior with some. Not requiring faith and any reality, just the joy of looking at the world with deception and feeling good about it.

That sure works for some. It never works for me. I’ve seen the number of times life changes no matter what you do.

Perhaps the hard part is being able to truly accept both when change is for the better and others when it is for the worse. We can become so condition to only think in certain types of thinking.

That can be a challenge when God changes the direction. If he grants us some special blessing and doesn’t take away from our lives.

Only we need to be able to appreciate the difference. And sometimes that can be so difficult for some.

If we truly find peace in the truth and know life will never be exactly as our eyes view it then appreciating God’s right to touch us as he sees fit is what matters. Not that everyone is ready to embrace this reality.

And so we tread along upon the stumbling path of life. Never truly able to fathom in our stubbornness if what we are doing is wrong.

Sad it the soul who fights against the winds of God’s spirit. And tragedy prevails if we keep failing to listen.

Then we become a house erected on our idea of concrete that is really nothing more than quicksand. Such is the nature of life.

Providing you are one to walk by faith. And to trust in God for what lies ahead. Accepting his will as it guides. Not being spiteful or petty in the process.

This can be a challenge that can last a life time. It can be a never ending quest that will not end because we chose to always follow our own light. And that will be a light that saves when it comes from God.

CONFIDENCE

Gold's illusive effigy
infects in spiritually cancerous phlegm.

Always seduced of mind and soul
that time is puppet
and one controls the strings.

Piercing the elements of seconds
with iron chains of plots,
stirring lustful hallucinations
about one's own dysfunctional divine
lucidity.

Knowing the inner witness
sees in the tints of fickle
shades radiating
off a orb
having no beginning or end.

Juggling it precarious
in one's logic,
playing optimism monologues
to exorcise the doubt demons.

Erecting domino edifices of boasting
all standing so arrogant and erect
till fate's breath
starts an avalanche.

ALONE TIME

There is a difference between being alone and quiet time. At least from the way I treat it. For to me, being alone is often more of a social condition. It doesn't necessarily have to do with wanted to be by yourself. As much something that happens for a variety of reasons.

Whereas quiet times are the savored moments when you are allowed some peace by yourself. They are cherished because they are often rare and not ones you get to always plan.

Still, they are only temporary. In the back of the mind, one know you will be surrounded by family or friends in due time. So it is never the same.

Oh the other hand being completely alone can feel so isolated. It can creep into you and attack one's sense of self worth. That can always be difficult to accept at times. And if you have any problems with saggy sense of identity that can compound the problem.

Plus if there is no hint that it will ever change or improve, that can really be depressing. The longer the time of isolation, the more it can really sting.

Of course if one is not a social butterfly it might be difficult to live like one is the life of the party. I doubt most of us is going to change our personalities that much to adjust the times of being alone.

So in reality we understand that each of us is different and what shadows our time is related to our personalities and how we view the world. Does any of that affect our salvation? Are we someone expected to act a certain way in order to be approved of the Lord?

Not to me. When one looks at the diversity in the personalities of those chosen by God, you honestly can say there is one type, which he prefers.

However the reality is we each will serve him as we are gifted. So if one isn't blessed with an outgoing personality, why would he call you as an evangelists or pastor?

Still, there are many needs in the body of Christ and we all can serve him as we are so called. As long as we accept that is his will and don't force ourselves into some mold that says, all Christians must act and be a certain way.

Those who have such expectations always seem to make their personality is the one that God approves. We don't have to accept such boxes though.

Instead we can embrace God's grace. We can rest in the joy of knowing what counts with God is not what is based upon our desires. And there are times when for some of us, being alone can be a music to celebrate and not a form of dirge over feeling lost and unwanted.

APPETITE SNARLS

Hunger is a part of life, but not life itself. All our passions for consuming do tax our capacity for clarity. It brings us to the moment of confrontation.

Some deal with that reality different than others. The hide from the truth. Which God would seek us to avoid.

For the truth is often difficult to embrace. Each of us has some thread of selfishness in our essence.

It is not what many of us want to hear. But it is the reality. And one that if we do not accept only makes things worse.

I recall reading this book once about relationships and how the author pointed out that selfishness really does play a part in so much we do. Only in different degrees.

For some, the problem of insecurity's make their appetite for selfishness even more intense and difficult to admit. Because the person senses or believes insecurities are a weakness. So they never admit to them.

Instead they just get inclined to lie about their motives. Becoming totally obsessed with controlling everything in life and being completely unreasonable in their demands.

And you can be sure they will never admit it either. Just insist upon being totally unreasonable in all way and not seeing any problem in the process.

Meanwhile, if you happen to object to their abuse, oh it is the end of the world. You are, in their opinion, being selfish. The word, giving, only applies to you!

Oh they do practice a form of giving. One where they make sure everyone in the world knows about it. Which is never really giving in the Lord's eyes.

Above all, God wants us to see ourselves for who we really are. And it is only with his help that each of us can in any way be different with the help of the holy spirit.

With his spirit's help we can touch the places in our soul that allow us to look beyond ourselves. To see what truly is and embrace who we are in a way that will work for good and not for bad.

But we can't do that if god isn't the inspiration. For many he isn't. So they merely walk by their own strength, relying on their own passions.

Which always fails to embrace truth. And never leads to improvement. Not that we ever embrace this fact. We just live in the lies.

Till we face the Lord and then the lies have no success any longer.

CLOTHED

What is the garment that truly is worn over our lives? It is based upon prevailing fashion? Some ethical based fabric that somebody tells us means we are a good person?

Or is it found in other ways? Purchased and warn in manners some really will never understand?

With God his suit he chooses to cloth us with is always going to be different from the one we pick for ourselves. And it will fit as he decides is important. Serving his purposes instead of our own.

It might be that the garment he chooses doesn't even fit us as well was we would hope. Although it will be tailored the need God has planned for us.

As for the appearance, that may not be to our liking either. One of those details about spiritual vestments is God knows the size we need. And even if we aren't thrilled with it at the time, he has the wisdom to know what will be the best for us.

That doesn't mean we always will even understand at the times. Or accept what is laid on our shoulders.

But by faith we learn to adjust to the awkwardness. To slip on the garb designated and see is as one where God make a perfect fit.

This doesn't always grant us the joy at the time. It often comes later. In ways we only understand in due season.

Quiet is the heart that learns to love the Lord before all else. That doesn't race to lament what feels wrong or uncomfortable.

Instead walking towards the sun's light. As he grant us mercy to see. Always rejoice that we are left naked.

For many see their rich silky wardrobes of self and something of pride. Never understanding they are really only rags.

What a pity to be so blind and never grasp what is truly worthwhile and special. For when we fail we only let ourselves be less adorned of what God truly weaves.

This the armor of trust that will be a shield in times of less than blessing. A time that we can savor for the richness intended.

It might seem hollow to certain eyes. But in God it is a pleasure we can savor. For some see it as poverty and vagabond wardrobes. Instead of what God blesses as but the robes for eternity, which always shine much brighter in his light of love than those which are made by our hands.

WRINKLED WINGS

Tender innocence eyes
gaze into her lines,
seeing only an angel,
never gray hair or sagging flesh.

It is the radiance of love's perfect glow,
shown in hugs and kisses,
words spoken in understanding tones,
which make her
the most beautiful woman
any child might ever known.

My grandmother I only knew
for a few short years,
but I still love her so,
for she showed her gentle elegance
by always accepting me
regardless of my failures.

In her sweet arms,
I felt accepted and cared about,
someone special
that she would listen to
even when I spoke only silliness.

Always a smile,
a heart full of gold,
granny for me
was the most beautiful woman
God ever placed in my life.

NEW SUNSETS

To wake as the sun dies is to come alive in the shadows. It is to find light when there is none, to discover truth in the midst of lies.

That can not always happen in a way that is beneficial or appreciated at times. There are occasions when it will not lead to understanding.

Mainly when we are inclined to dwell more on the darkness and not on what we can know in the midst of the shadows. Some will never be able to embrace what message is meant to be conveyed.

This is the challenge of the spirit. To seek what is God's light when we think it is the least visible. That can be the part that we struggle the most to appreciate.

It will be the voice inside that bears witness. And we can so often ignore the message. For we fear the night in our soul.

Not that we always accept this fact. One close one's eyes and pretend there is no darkness. That it is really day, if you didn't have your eyes closed.

Another fable conjured by the mind wishing to see only what works for that frame of reference. And it never results in help or blessings.

Perhaps in the sunset we can find hope. It is the promise of how though we feel night, there will born a morning elsewhere.

If we at least face the ebbing light not as death, but with faith. To embrace the mystery God's grace and love in you instead of lament.

That will always be the challenge of the forlorn soul. To rise above the questions and look for the answers.

Gardens blossom is such moments, if we allow them to do so. If we accept their fragrance as one to inhale and not ignore.

Will we find such joy as intended? Can we embrace all that is when we only see in blurred understanding?

That will be the challenge of our minds. To allow ourselves to move out of where all seems black and to places where life ascends.

It is a journey inward. Through tunnels of thoughts to help us grow. Only we must accept the trip.

And if we do, then we will find each sunset as a blessing instead of a prelude to something that we must dread.

EFFORT

How much labor is enough? Do we ever reach a point that we can truly say we did our best and feel good about the fact we didn't get the results we wanted or expected?

I do ponder this myself. For it seems to me that there are so often situations where society dictates what is effort.

After all success is truly the most cherish aspect of labor. Well if you accept the traditional view of it.

Which always makes reward the prime motivation for any activity. Is it really the only yardstick to use?

I have to admit that I don't see it that way. For it might be true with some things, particularly when you work for a living, but does it apply to everything?

Some would claim that was the case. Personally, I'm not that convinced. I do wonder at times if we forget that there are times when God tests us in terms of obedience.

His priorities are not the same as ours. And he can inspire us to do certain things out of obedience that have no reward.

The scriptures do speak of eternal rewards. However, they are never explained in such a way that we know what they are going to be. Just that they are eternal.

And the problem is that regardless of what they are, we still have the times when God has the right to expect us to do things as a sacrifice. It might not be a popular to think about, but it is a reality.

Yet for me, I know, I don't think it is so terrible. God gives us all we have. Is it bad if he tests our hearts at times?

Some would never quite accept that option. They will only see the world as a place where they can live happily ever after.

Heaven is not on this earth. We can expect times of joy. But also times of struggle. Might not be quite as popular, but it is the truth.

Some will run away from this fact, others will embrace it. When we face the truth, it is always the truth.

Hopefully we savor the reality and not let it burden us in a bad way. And if we cling to the Lord in the process that is even better.

Moving ahead in the light of God's truth always brings us towards him and hopefully towards where he wants us to be.

WITH THE WIND

Collars tightened around the mind,
layers of luscious lies
thread their phantom pots of gold
into the mirages
existing past the cemetery
where all one's hopes
had been given funerals
by pessimistic undertakers
that thrive on dark eulogies.

Eyes drink in the swirling wisps
calling from the abandoned crib
which once was innocence's Nirvana.

It keeps stroking in caresses of impulse
slowly fraying each heart restraint,
tell one at least hears
a voice buried in the echoing chambers
of deep lament.

Growing a saber of pure epiphany
to slice away the tether to impotence,
seeing the leash of conformity
lying so disarmed upon the ground.

Walking away
bruised, but filled with new glow
holding onto the rope,
connecting one
with the wind.