STORIES

What wonderful inventions we aspire to create when life isn't what we want it to be. Just truly gives us so much joy.

At least as long as we don't hear the voice inside that keeps screaming it is a lie. I've seen some pretty creative people do a good job of being deaf in that regard.

Which works right up to the point you face the consequences of one's tales. I've also observed those who miraculously never do.

That is the sad part at times to me. It really amazes me when one lives by stories of denial and never change.

Yet, God doesn't force us into always accepting the truth. Even if we are trying to follow him it doesn't mean he will prevent us from lying to ourselves.

It is truly amazing at times trying to understand and comes to grips with the way life has so many twists and turns that never make sense. But they are so common.

I wish there was a definitive answer for them. However, that doesn't happen. Sometimes we do get glimpses into reality, others we do not.

People often spend hours trying to figure out the mystery of life in terms of consequences. But often no matter how are we try we just are unable to obtain any level of reality and clarity.

So instead we grasp as whatever philosophy seems to best apply to our need. A great effort, but hardly one that truly ends real answers.

I don't think God will ever explain all life is supposed to mean in this time frame. We can hope, but in the end we can either keep trust or let the questions dominate.

For those who trust, we accept God is eternal and sees all. He is not incapable of knowing what happens on this planet.

He might not respond by our choices, but then he doesn't need to. Instead, we have the burden of continuing to trust regardless of how life changes.

That is easier in some situations than others. And if we accept God will always do what is truly best, then we can accept our need to embrace his wisdom no matter what happens.

Hopefully it guides us passed the shadows and to a place where we can truly find some peace in the midst of our questions. When we trust God to keep the answers till we can see them clearly it means too that at times it will only happen in eternity.

Perhaps the joy will be enough to even let the day seem bright when it feels so dark.

VESTMENTS FOREVER

The robes of calling may fray and fade from years of use, but they are never truly discarded. It doesn't mean some don't try to toss them away.

We don't always seem to want to keep wearing them though. They can get so heavy after awhile. But the problem is that when the come from the Lord they can't be treated like some old clothes you send off to the thrift store when you buy new ones.

The problem is that if God gives us the garment it fits as he wills. That doesn't mean it will like we want it to look. Or they serve the purpose we want.

Of course the vestments for the office of pastor always sparkle in many people's eyes. So naturally possessing them is a source of joy.

But like all of God's vestments they are his decision on who gets to wear them. Sometimes people will get so desperate for them, they will sew together their own version. Oh it can be so dazzling, just not from the Lord.

And when it isn't the person can still claim the title of pastor if he or she finds a place to serve in that capacity. On the surface it can all look so correct and proper.

The person can even learn to say the right things and do the right things, but unless God's spirit has someone created the threads it just doesn't come from the Lord. No matter how long it lasts, if the threads don't come from God, they will unravel.

On the converse side for the person who is so adorn by the Lord's garment, it always is part of his or her life. Maybe the person isn't always faithful, but it is part of the wardrobe just the same.

Now maybe the need for the vestment doesn't always end up being used as we think it should. For God isn't limited to a house of worship for his vestments.

It is just for those truly adorned, there is no real retirement. And in due season when one is before the Lord he blesses us with a robe that will last for all eternity.

This is not a literal robe though as much as the covering from his light and love. It does symbolize I think how we truly belong to him.

Those who resist his vestments in this life will hardly be happy to accept them in eternity. So at times we face the choice in this life. If we accept the one made for us by the Lord how better the day becomes.

But if we simply slip the garment into a closet in our mind, we never get the joy of what comes afterwards. There truly is nothing sadder than feeling uncomfortable because we preferred one color or appearance of a garment and got a different one. Faith in God includes trust to him for the perfect fit.

ONE GAZE

Awakening hands that had intimately kissed the dawn
knowing deeply each ray's vibrant song
look so intently into one's eyes
with a light of pure wisdom to adore
each crevice of ignorance darkening one's soul.

Not appearing as god or goddess,
never urged to rise on a pedestal of awe
that should be worshipped,
having reach that epiphany of purest understanding
when a single heartbeat is a story in itself
oneness being the universe where we belong
instead of our essence as its center.

From the slumber of resonant revelations come new waves of meaning
over a thousand years of meditation,
there is the zephyr current of euphoric intoxication
lifting one's soul to a love kindled by the eon,
till I too can receive that precious gift of timeless illumination.

Lifting the veil over a thousand tongues belonging to the stars
stirring a symphony of intense shimmering harmony,
making me feel in each inch of my body
a radiant peace as a beaming note of the glistening cosmic melody.

No words are spoken, but their power now rule my own essence,
I am a dream drowning in another caring soul's rapture
transcending a millennium of sleep
with a single blink of unity

FIRST AND THEN

First experiences can be such powerful memories at times. If it is the kind of first experience that is a positive one then we can truly cherish it always.

The problem it seems is that we never truly seem to capture that same intensity of energy when duplicating the experience later. Our senses just are so conditioned by the first time encounter that we totally absorbed the data, then we don't achieve it later.

I don't think this is surprising to anyone on an intellectual level. Just makes it hard on the level where we embrace it in our hearts. We never tire of wanting to taste that event with the same power.

There are times when we come close, but then it never is truly the same. And you can help wonder I think, how come this can't be more a regular event rather than a one time experience.

But it is truly engrained in our minds and remembered. And because it is in our minds it is something that lingers and affects our thinking, creating an appetite of longing for the experience.

On a spiritual level I think the element of faith becomes relevant. For when we go from some mountain top first experience an into a valley it is our capacity to keep trusting the Lord that is what counts.

Some seem to forget that part. They just don't seem to be able to fathom that they can't live on the mountain top.

So what they do is turn that experience into an addiction. Always chasing some emotion high in order to feel good about trusting god.

Of course no one can live on the mountain top and that is not God's will for our lives. Instead he guides us to more and deeper appreciations for his word and truths.

They grow deep into our souls producing a rich and wonderful capacity to love him that doesn't have to be entertained. It is one that can endure through the tears.

But some would never allow for tears. They expect smiles no matter what. A nice theory, only in no way does it actually come true.

So for some the walk of faith is one that travels all levels of human feelings. It doesn't only function when things are perfect.

If we see and cling to his word and truth, then is what becomes a joy instead of sadness. for that we can be grateful. It gives us a means to celebrate even when it doesn't touch our reality with some special gold that makes us smile constantly. Which for me is enough at times regardless of what some say.

A TIME FOR...

There is a place in the scriptures that speaks of how everything in life has a time. Meaning that no life is composed of a single type of experience.

This is so true for all of us. Just that it isn't something we enjoy. We all would prefer to have the freedom to keep life predictable and under control.

And no matter how many times it doesn't happen, we still get into the mindset of thinking somehow that we can keep it any way we desire. Plus the fact that the delusion that we can prevent any problems if we just are obedient to God's will.

That is another of those wonderful myths that would be wonderful if it was true. However it never is.

It doesn't keep some from thinking it is true. But then when the scriptures mention about there being seasons to life it doesn't say, with the exception of a given person.

So at least in the revealed word of God, we are not spared reality. God doesn't wave a magic wand over the life's of certain people and make them exempt of demands facing everyone else.

Perhaps that is part of what makes heaven so appealing. For time really doesn't apply to eternity. A definite blessing.

Meanwhile, Christian or no, life is going to offer us a variety of seconds. Some good, some not so good.

And the real challenge is to embrace them all. Not just the ones we want, but each one regardless of the issue it presents.

Can we truly find God in the down times as well as the good ones? Are we prepared to follow the Lord if it takes us into the shadows?

Some will always decide life can only be lived in following the Lord if it is perfect. That never happens in real life, but it doesn't keep us from thinking that way.

Only it doesn't change the seasons. Just our willingness to accept them as true. Some never will though.

And in the process called denial. It is what keeps some going regardless of the facts. However it never works for those who truly see God as real.

For we know he exists and doesn't function to make us live outside of reality. Embracing it can be the most rewarding part of life.

Which is so helpful if we cling to the truth instead of lies.

GREASED

Mind's wheels stop squeaky and screeching,
body feels so smooth in motion,
able to run when it once walked,
feeling like wings are attached to the feet,
having been made so oily and lacking resistance
from the grease of inspiration,
but the only problem if you get too slippery
is it effects your vision with overconfidence,
till you think you can slide through any obstacle.

FOR SALE

You don't have to always see a sign to know when something is for sale. The heart's sign is normally one noticeable in what people say.

It is the little comments we make that give away how we are vulnerable to given suggestion. The in essence our loyalty or passion is for sale if one will give us our desires.

I think it is fundamental to us all. We just don't admit it that often. Sometimes it is easier to pretend that we really don't have certain feeling, but they do leak out in what we say.

The other day I was talking to this one person who was planning a change in life. And the person casually mentioned as part of this change getting involved with a certain activity. The given activity would have been one that was involved with consequences that were other than positive. At least they would have spelled disaster eventually.

But this person didn't want to admit it. So it was easier to simply say, I just going to do this for the most innocent of reasons.

It was a lie, I could see in the person's eyes. It just sounded so much more acceptable than admitting the truth.

How often we can do this so easily. Be unable to come to grips with what we truly will have for sale in our heart.

So instead we just put up a different sign about something totally different before hoping once the person looks they will ask about what we didn't think was worth mentioning. It is all a game we play with our thinking an emotions.

Another way we use to deny the sin brewing in our hearts. For if we start out in innocence of lips and then later give in to the sin of the heart who can blame us, it was an accident?

A wonderful excursion of excuses. Just not one that truly brings about a truth we can face for reality.

God will open our eyes to what is truly for sale within. He will show us how we can even find what we need without such lies.

Then we can change that for sale sign till it doesn't have to be so obvious. And instead even discard it all together.

Being content in God's store to shop for what truly brings the things into our hearts that will genuinely satisfy. It is all a matter of what we chose to do with regards to the sign and when it makes it a difference.
Sometimes the dreams speak the loudest if we are thinking with God's help.

UNSPEAKABLE

It is amazing the things we can see as black or white when the mood strikes. I was wading through this one section at this writer's site where I participate and a person was dealing with the issue of desires.

Somewhere in their thinking the person concluded that it was a sin to have desires and that being a Christian means you should be able to control them. Which included avoiding them altogether.

That didn't work for me at all. I see desires as God's implant into our lives that is suppose to have a positive outlet. For example, if we didn't have a desire to eat and never did how long would we survive?

I think the answer to that question is obvious. So the problem isn't with having such passions, it is how we choose to satisfy them.

I think God, being God and having given us such cravings also provided a way for them to be satisfied. One that would fulfill the need in a positive way.

But too often Satan is able to corrupt what is natural and lures us into some mutation of what is intended. Oh it can truly feel so great to images that satisfaction in such forms, but the problem is they never end up satisfying in the long run.

However when our minds and hearts on fire we aren't thinking that clearly. That burning deep inside just so flames and blinds us we can focus.

So we surrender to the moment if the occasion arises. And the problem is for those who have seduced themselves into thinking they have controlled such desires when in reality they haven't had an opportunity to vent the need.

Absent that reality so often the illusion prevails. One savors the myth of being in control and able to be above it all.

Which works till the moment an opportunity does present itself. Then all the claims of will power we use to build our ivory towers fades and they crumble.

When that happens the problem is can one cope with the failure and accept we are human. That is an issue some never do accept.

So they just end up lying about it and pretending it all doesn't matter. Which only makes the illusion worse.

For those of us that accept we are imperfect and have desires it is easier to simply try to listen to the Lord in that regard. We don't waste time making excuses for being less than perfect.
Maybe along the way we discover what the truth is too about grace and forgiveness.

DIRECTIONS

There is a point with many things that we reach and have to be honest the wheels of life are moving in a given direction. It isn't always easy to embrace this reality, even though it is what is fact.

Seems like the more we have to risk, the more we feel the nag inside to hope some disaster won't happen. And even though the moment is reached when we know how things will work out, we still cling at times to the dream a miracle will happen.

The tough question is when do we reach the point of knowing it is time to just accept what is going to come and when do we keep fighting? I wish the answer was easy to find.

Some will tell you they always know that point. It is as if they have some crystal ball in their brain and it makes them able to see the future perfectly.

A nice fantasy, but not close to the truth. So it still remains for those of us not blessing with perfect sight into the future if we can honestly embrace what is the right point in terms of accepting the inevitable.

The first battle to me is in the arena of honesty. Are we looking at the facts with certain expectations? Our attitude can truly impact how we feel about what is going to happen.

If we think failure is inevitable then we will get failure whether it was going to happen or not. The converse isn't necessarily true. Thinking positive doesn't guarantee success, just makes the wait less painful.

In either case, for me the really hard challenge is to pray that God will open our eyes to the truth, whatever it is. Then grant us the wisdom to accept the facts and how we should deal with them.

From that foundation, which is truly so hard to accomplish at times, we can face what is the future with the mind prepared to embrace what will be. It might not be glamorous or exciting, but it will bring more peace.

Which grants us a chance to come to terms with what the Lord has prepared for us. And to also accept with more strength if that means something unexpected that is less than uplifting.

Some times faith stirs the most challenging parts of our lives. It can be tough to embrace with all the types of uncertainty it brings.

We can dwell upon our illusions or we can face the light as it truly shines. That part we have to decide for ourselves.

Hopefully we see it with an open heart and not closed eyes.

SLICES

Day's distractions bleed such stagnancy into the soul
lethargic mind wanders aimlessly
into a foggy maze of myriads in musings,
momentary mirages spread fantasia's delusions,
paradise's scent teases nostrils,
quickly suffocated by some moral mar's stench.

Looking upwards in gasping resignation
at the turquoise, cloudy envelope,
lifting one's third eye razor blade
to penetrate natural translucent envelope
and see into the starry lattices
where eternal epiphany plumes
await to dress the spirit's light.

Moving effortless through the portal
within the layers of one's senses
touching in such intensity
all the jewel of forever's sagacious gold.

Feeling the soothing flush of knowing
drape one's essence in pure euphoria.
Gazing at the chaos and clatter
strangling others souls,
seeing its irony and sadness
for how they have yet to soar into realms
where reality is more than growing old.

NO SENSE

There are too often moments in life that defy explanation. We look at the event and all we can do is shake our head. It just truly digs at us and we cry out to try and find some way injustice can be made to make sense.

In the end so often we only find the answer within. A searching of what we know in hopes the experience library will have some applicable volume. While we are searching we know deep down that book isn't there, but we hope just the same.

So we sit back and contemplate to grasp for some meaning of it all. Most of the time it in ends up still making no sense.

Eventually for the person who believes in God the question sneaks into the mind. Where is God? Why do totally insane things happen? How come nice people seem to suffer and bad people escape punishment?

I can't imagine there is a single person who hasn't at one time or another asked some of those questions whether they believe in God or not. It is only natural.

And no matter how hard a person tries there are just times when it is impossible to come to a point of understanding that truly works. Volumes have been written to discuss such things, but honestly the soul still feels the absence when another event occurs that we can't understand.

I don't expect to honestly be able to provide perfect answers to such situations either. I don't have some special access to the heavens that would grant me such ability.

What I do know is that life wasn't as far as I'm concerned ever intended to lend itself to such explanations. That nothing I've seen suggest me that God isn't real.

What I do feel is that the only time we will have a chance to fully understand such questions is in the presence of the Lord. That may not be the kind of answer some will accept.

I'm not going to pretend that is enough of a solution, only that you can not honestly expect otherwise in this life. Some will try to defend that this is for the best or it is okay.

But I'm not going to suggest that. What I am going to say is that for me I'm content to accept that God is truly a loving God and if I have to wait till eternity for it to make sense, then I am willing to wait.

My choice of course. Not one that everyone will respect or accept. But I would rather offer an honest comment that pretend it will make sense.

And perhaps along the way we can summon the hope that we will all long for the time when hope and faith will bring answers.

LESSONS

How come we have to learn the same thing over and over again so often? I know it happens to me way too much. I'm not proud of the fact, but it does occur.

However, the good thing is when we do learn and are able to move ahead without having to take another session of homework.

There are admittedly certain lessons in life one can't study for. They are the type where the classroom is in the mind and experience is the school teacher.

We just get to take an exam and if we fail we find out after the fact. Which can be really tough to deal with.

Lately, I've found more occasions of dealing with people who when I get to know them are far more complicated and with problems that I first realized. It isn't that what I see is bad, just surprising at times.

Basically, I've seen how many times they end up being human. Which means they are less than perfect.

I never assumed they were perfect, but sometimes I am amazed how they actually have the kinds of problems I would never have expected. Just the type that end up being totally disasters in terms of judgment.

And it is amazing, but the more I do deal with such people, the more I really grow fond of them. I don't hate them for being flawed nor to I think bad of them in the process.

Along the way, I try to just listen and let them know they still have my respect. I just feel I'm treating them the way God would want.

It is hard at times to try and not beat people to death for their mistakes. But then I have made so many of my own.

What I learned in such occasions is that sometimes the lessons we take will benefit us more when we can talk about them with others. Sometimes that makes all the difference.

Providing we in the process do discover what we needed to know. If not, all the talk in the world doesn't seem to help.

To learn and grow is the Lord's will for our lives. There are times when that happens easier than at others.

When not the challenge is often there to have to start over and try again. Hopefully, with the Lord's help.

Not leaning upon the Lord always makes the lessons harder.

REVIVAL

Seasons of midnights
worn in ebony frayed threads
upon the garment used as one's mental pajamas.

Suddenly no longer fitting so well,
growing uncomfortable
with the perennial scratching feeling
that irritates the senses
and leaves one feeling
the world is a cage
filled with spiders and demons.

Walking out into the sunshine with new eyes
finally allowing them to touch the majesty
where only shadows prevailed in one's passion crevices.

Seeing the rebirth of inner luster,
a genesis of soul produces light's tales in promise,
at last inhaling serenity's purest balm
lacking the toxic waste of nocturnal flagellations
with a melancholy whip for self-inflicted stripes.

Letting the calm and silent splendor
become a music soothing and refreshing,
feeling at last a blissful revival of spellbound awe,
giving a reason to keep on breathing
where the lungs
no longer invent excuses to scream.

BEYOND GIVING

I was in a church once where the pastor mentioned it was the last Sunday of the year and that meant the last chance to give so you could write it off on your income tax. I do give him credit for his honesty. And I'm sure there have been plenty who shared his opinion, but I'm not sure it was God's intention on the subject of giving.

There is just something to me about taking lumping any element of one's relationship wit the Lord into a realm of charity. At the core isn't the spiritual realm so much more than that?

I think it is very easy to do and for some I can appreciate how it is hard not to see being part of church as just another form of volunteer service. I just don't feel God looks at it that way.

At the heart of it all for me is the issue of truly embracing God's reality. To listen with the heart and be prepared to actually do what the Lord wanted.

Some will channel such listening only into a limited corridor. For them spirituality will always be centered around a given house of worship.

There are can be all kinds of legitimate reasons to do this. For one it is the prime place to worship and to interact with fellow believers.

But it can also be the place where one can be seen by others. That doesn't have anything to do with God seeing us though.

Which is far more important in my view. I really do think of that at times when I do things like post this blog.

For I do it because I know God has lead me to do so. I don't get any personal gain from the time sacrificed nor do I benefit in any way from the process.

I just give myself to it that I feel I have been faithful to his will. And that for me is an example of something beyond giving. Not boasting in my own accord, merely using it as a point to demonstrate my thoughts.

It truly is to give just to please the Lord with no strings attached. And I believe God knows when we do this willingly.

He can lead us outside places where we are just there to be seen and to place where we just are happy to do as he desires. There is just something very satisfying in the process from that kind of spiritual freedom.

It doesn't mean you will get any attention for it. Just the peace that comes from knowing you did what truly was pleasing to the Lord.

Some will never discover this joy. For them there is only a sadness in my view.

FUN

I can't imagine anyone totally agreeing on what is fun. Which, given the variety of things appealing to our senses, it would be predictable.

What gets fuzzy on this issue for some is when the issue of sin is involved. Only problem is not everyone has the same definition of sin.

This too can be very complicated for some. Because what we see as wrong might not be true for someone else.

The scriptures provide a very long list of things God says is wrong, but we never stop there. We always have our own additions.

I recall once when my wife and I were going to a movie. It was Sunday and this one "expert" on the bible and just about everything else decided to enlightened me that was a sin.

According to this person, seeing a movie on Sunday was sin in the bible. Considering the fact that they didn't even have movies when the bible was written itself made this comment ludicrous.

But it was typical of some of the things I've heard at times from some people. And most of the time no matter how much they actually know about the bible you can pretty much count on them telling you god is against whatever they hate.

Of course it never stops there. Sooner or later they will get on some bandwagon to spill their hate over to everyone else.

They won't call it hate naturally. It will be something else. And you can be sure God will get the blame in one-way or another.

Sin is of course in reality anything we do other than an act of faith. At least according to the way the Apostle Paul explained it. And anything truly means anything, good or bad.

That is not a definition that will appeal to some. They only want to consider something bad as a sin. However, if they don't like something, it will be bad and that will make it a sin.

If you buy into that approach you will probably end up living a very dull life and one totally afraid you might sin. Which you will do anyway.

Somewhere in all this insanity a voice of reason should prevail. That is never easy. But I think the main question might be whether or not a given form of fun will somehow separate us from the Lord?

Not sure too many ask that question. And I doubt they will.

MARGINAL

Almost doesn't seem to satisfy most of us. We enjoy winning and aren't to happy about losing.

Being in between really doesn't exactly inspire either. It might not sound as bad as losing, but it doesn't make us smile like winning either.

There are times though when marginal truly does define reality. We end up in the wasteland of dreams. Neither good, nor bad, just in between.

Unless you are content with being bland. Then it works. But most people I know are never content with admitting they are bland.

I've known plenty of people who were bland, but always had to colorize the truth so it looked more attractive. It never actually changed the truth, but made them feel it did.

It's sort of like being average. Does anyone actually enjoy being average? I don't think so.

Which appeals to the need to be other than average. Unfortunately, we all have some aspect to our nature that is ordinary.

And we are all less that perfect so it means we are going to have some aspect that is not excellent either. Which can translate into marginal.

God doesn't hold it against us if we aren't talented in a way that we aren't blessed to be part of our life. He never punishes us for that aspect of life.

What he does do is grant us grace. That unconditional love that accepts us as we are, including when we are marginal.

Lately, I've been caught up with my writing and competing in these writing contests. Sometimes I do well, others not.

And I often get upset when I don't do well. Then God makes me remember, if I poured all my energy into a piece and it didn't do well, it was marginal, but the best I could do.

Which is truly what matters the most. Faithful and victory are not always the same. It is being obedient to your calling regardless of results.

Some never appreciate this and never will. They will chase the rainbows of excuses even if they never truly achieve in the process.

Which will never bring peace as much as the truth. It is the game we play with our mind and that never is one we win. Just end up finding another reason to avoid being acceptance of our reality.

ESSENCE

Gusts of blends in salted moisture
sweep across the face in seductive sensations
till one succumbs to the spellbound serenade
slowly transforming
into a grain of awareness joining a shore of timeless melodies.

Waves wash over the soul in calming fluidity
as sun's shining vigilance flames one's darkest shadows,
lost is the distance from feeling solitude's disjointed awareness,
essence becomes another poignant part of the awe and majesty.

IN A WAY

What is the way that truly guides your heart? There is the "standard" answer one can give. For Christian it will probably be some scriptural textbook answer. Only that in no way means one actually believes it or takes it to heart. It just sounds good when it is said on Sunday in a group of other believers.

Somewhere in the midst of it all, we can either face the footprints we create by our choices for where they have truly lead or close our eyes. And too often it is just easier to close our eyes.

When we do, then our fears and apprehensions get in the way. They simply become stumbling blocks to our path of faith.

I've seen people do this all their lives. It is so sad, but they never rise above a certain level of fear or excuse to find what God really would want for their lives.

Oh we can't come up with all kinds of reasons for claiming we are on the right path in terms of obeying God. It is easy to justify our behavior if so inclined.

That doesn't mean we are being honest with ourselves. It does mean we are very good at lying. At least to the point we claim we believe our myths.

Which can prevent us again from seeing clearly and moving in the direction we are called by the Lord. As long as we spent time inventing tales instead of listening to the Lord's spirit we never hear his guiding for our lives.

Is it any wonder how in such situations we end up stumbling instead of moving the way we should? Do that long enough and you can't even remember where the path is located.

And along the way we can get so caught looking at the signs Satan's has put up to distract and confuse, we never appreciate it is helping to get in the way of our intended journey. The signs might be entertaining, but they just don't advertising anything that helps our soul.

By chance should we be enticed by the advertising to end up going shopping, we may enjoy the splurge, but not the final bill. Of course we won't necessarily appreciate that price tag at the time.

It will only happen much later when we find out we have such an empty feeling inside from something missing. What will be missing will be the joy of our soul. That melody that is played by faith and faith alone.

Clutching the trinkets of passion and seduction, our minds think we are blessed. Never understanding how we are in reality in poverty.

That is until we stand before God who will always make us see what was in the way.

TIMES PLUS

Why is it when there is an emergency it just seems to always cause more problems and take way too much time? I might be exaggerating, but honestly, that does seem to be the way it happens to me.

Of course not having any patience only makes things worse in my case. And I think the times I hate the most is when I see the solution to a crisis and have to spend forever before it takes place. That really bothers me.

It is like the problem is made worse so you can get stuck with extra anxiety. I don't think it has to be, but I do see it a lot.

There are some who might suggest being stressed out is not a spiritual quality. We are not supposed to worry, but I've never been able to keep from it.

However, I believe God understands our shortcomings. It doesn't matter what they are, what does matter is how we deal with them.

And at times that means we panic for a bit, then we do. God isn't going to strike us dead for that problem despite how some teach it.

What is important is not pretending we don't feel our emotions or fears. It is important what we in the long run.

I can find myself in momentary reaction of panic. I try not to make important decision when in that mood.

Later, when the wave of emotion cools, and reason returns, the soul can speak as the Holy Spirit inspires. Now that is how I have to cope.

There are some who might not have that problem, but I see a lot who have the same problem. Only too often they won't admit it.

It is as if you would get stuck by lightning if you dare admitted to having doubts. While deep down their thoughts betray their lips, they never admit to their true feelings.

And the sad part is God knows anyway. So pretending doesn't really do a whole lot, but make others believe whatever lie you create.

If that somehow helps then that is fine. But I never think lying to yourself improves a thing.

That will never keep some from doing it. They will always play that game of denial. It never ends what brews inside, just lets us impress in some way.

Only problem is God is the one that matters and he is never impressed by such deceptions.

ABANDONES

Bridge of lament
built across the eyes,
just a little wedge of wooded thoughts,
from the puppeteers of massage reality,
tying one's soul in knots,
scrambling the brain like it was eggs.

Erected the spikes of anal retentive theology,
turning the paddle of slapstick reasoning
and give one's esteem a spanking
to the heart's joy.

Transforming screaming reality into a deaf cage
where one slowly
mutates into a canary
who refuses to leave
the imprisonment of one's identity,
even after the keepers
who cut out one's spirit
using a knife shaped
like a scroll of 'tsk, tsk.'

Before they go in hunt
for other prey
confident one will starve to death
unable to flee
despite being left so totally,
abandoned.

DO IT AGAIN

Why do some people insist upon constantly repeating the same mistakes? And what is worse they keep telling why the last time was dumb and stupid? But they do the same thing again.

Now I don't suppose I would mind if they didn't stop to involve God in the process. That is the part that really frustrates.

It is like, well I'm being stupid because God wants me to look like an idiot. If they are really prone to being spiritual about it they will naturally say something about prayer or God told them to do whatever.

Now the Lord does inspire us on many occasions if we are following him. And to some our actions might seem questionable. But God doesn't necessarily intend upon inspiring us to blatantly moronic actions.

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend. This person is a Christian and does love the Lord.

And like many the person joined this one group that claimed to follow God. In the process of dealing with them this person was told that feeling down was a sin. Somehow they had decided that you could only be spiritual if you never felt unhappy.

Which got even more stupid because my friend voice options to this point of view. Basically my friend is struggling with some very difficult problems at the moment.

It is only naturally they this person would have moments of unhappiness. That is just part of life. It doesn't mean you are demon possessed.

Course when my friend voiced such comments, the response was not, to uplift, but instead to discourage and condemn. So this is a good way of helping a person who is sad?

Not to me. How do you help a person overcome sadness by beating on them? My friend has since severed connections with this group.

But I'm sure they will continue to wound the hurting and feel quite justified in the process. Does it mean God approves of this stupidity? Not to me.

Pity some use hate and ignorance to enforced their attitudes. And if it doesn't work, they blame it on God.

Well for a while at least. I can't imagine God will actually tell such people well done in eternity. But then that presumes they will actually be in Heaven. That is up to the Lord. As for me, well I'm just coping like any other person and at times that means I get trapped in the shadows. I just refuse to say it was some love of sin.

IRONY SMILES

Life certainly gives one plenty of these situations. Wish it didn't. And how we cope can be a challenge so often.

There is just something very annoying to the spirit to reach some point where your expectations are for reward and you end up being punished or suffering in some way. Just doesn't feel like justice or deserving.

Lately, I have had occasion to deal with a certain circle of writers that I know. One of them made a suggestion as to a given venue of writing I ought to pursue. And they meant well, but the reality is that their suggestion was made because it had been a choice that worked for them.

It didn't mean the same option would bring me success. Sometimes people mean well, but the truth is they honestly can't see beyond their own frame of reference.

In my case, I have learned that being obedient to the Lord does carry with it a certain appreciable irony. By that I mean you do things as he leads, but the consequences don't always relate to the choice as they do with other aspects of life.

For example, you can do something to help another and instead of being blessed with a reward you can end up having some crisis enter your life. I didn't say you enjoy it, just that it does happen.

Likewise being faithful doesn't always translate into success in this life. I think back to the lives of the disciples. Often they found themselves facing hardship even death despite their obedience to the Lord.

When one is following the Lord, he controls who your faithfulness bears fruit. There are times when that means simply feeling like you've been kicked in the groin when you are doing what you know is his will.

Does that mean God doesn't care about our needs? No, not to mean it doesn't. It is just that the frame of reference is eternity and that means there are times when for the sake of challenging out faith, he will test us.

So you face the irony moments. The ones where doing what is right doesn't bring anything except grief.

In the natural we can expect otherwise. However, when we surrender our way to God we have to trust him that the results are according to his will.

Sometimes we are blessed by the occasional reward, others just another trial. Learning to smile when it doesn't lead to a blessing is the challenge that is perhaps the hardest to embrace. But doing it faithfully without complaint or letting it ruin your joy is the part we often have to leave in the Lord's hands.

COMPLEX

The world is a maze without any openings. It can be a labyrinth of confusing tales invented by our mind in hopes that we don't have to actually escape.

We can weave together such incredible puzzles in our thinking. They are ones that you honestly can never put together.

And the more we try, the more we get buried under a mound of questions we can never hope to answer. There are so many that swirl in our brain, haunting us like ghosts, making us doubt what we would otherwise know to be true.

Then comes the monologues of attempts to give reason to the growing chaos. We create myths as our stable to avoid seeing ourselves as we really are.

It all becomes a web of growing fog, which never leads to any clarity. Just more of the dialogue of excuses so we don't have to face the truth of a given situation.

Wish life wasn't that way, but it is. And the more we try in some way to not allow ourselves this option it seems we end up doing the opposite.

Which all comes down the simply reality that we are human. Not that it means we can expect to be deliver from such practices.

But knowing we do fall into this trap at times means we can accept it is part of our nature. And the most critical part would be to not allow ourselves to approach God with such a maze.

For the Lord is not going to be impressed with our efforts to complicate our excuses for sin. Oh we can say it in a prayer and somehow thing it is impressing God, but it never does.

The Lord will always seek to help guide us to the place of truth. Not to hide in some maze of, "but I did that because."

Instead he will lead us out of that maze and towards the greater realm of truth. One where he see who we are for the reality.

When we can do this, we are brought to point of peace. One where we can accept the truth in a climate that is simple and honest.

It will grant us the mercy of not having to wander that maze. A chance to live with the joy of not having to lie to ourselves or others as much.

It brings us in small steps towards his throne. A place where there is love and joy instead of more reasons to worry. That can be a home more blessed than any we might know otherwise.

FINGER OF GOD

Mind sculpts the strumpets of feathers
to make their seductive clay
into a scepter of lust
for touching the paradise of one's desires.

Imagining inside all the little gods
we can become,
using technology's magic wand
and reading our wizard's little black book of techno lovers
one can worship at divine.

Carving the lies of our immortality
in fool's gold ambition,
lifting up the hollow icons of solution defiantly
towards the sky of our illusions.

Creation in our veins
becomes an personification's
grotesque deliverance statue,
its meaning we invent
making up the scorecard and rules
from our vanity's fantasy victories
as we dance naked
before our shattered mirrors of delusion,
murmurs about end of the world
ignored,
while pretending our fingerprints
our heaven's master.

SIMPLE

This is a wonderful word, not hard to understand, but often very hard to express in an effective way. I know I'm guilty of often trying to hard to say what can be said in a few words. I just feel like I haven't said enough at times.

I have tried to improve and sometimes I have actually accomplished it. Others, well I keep practicing.

On a spiritual level I think there are occasions when we all are prone to think with just enough details people will embrace Christianity. This is not the reality though.

With some people the level of resistance is so entrenched into their being they can't free themselves to see beyond that limitation. So you end up offering up one fact after another and never achieving a thing.

I think back to when the Lord walked the earth and how often he used parables or stories to communicate truths. They were easy to remember and also easy for the most part to understand.

But then we are talking about the Lord and not us. I don't think any of us will came we could compete with the Lord as a storyteller or in any other way either.

What I think truly matters is being willing to really say what God's spirit inspires. It can be complex or as simple as a couple of words, but it will always be true. That is what truly is the most important aspect.

And when we trust to God for the words, the other part is that he affects the other person's hearing when he wants them to understand. In which cases we become his vessel to speak his message, but not the creator of the message.

I know for myself the number of times, I've gotten hung up following some given frame of thought, digging deep to try and find the gold. Then all of sudden, the real gold surfaces in a very simple way.

It was always there to begin with, but we just get so caught up in our thinking and trying to plan what we want to say. That can be very difficult to shut off our mind in order to hear the things God desires for us to say.

You don't have to be a preacher for this to apply either. Anyone who follows the Lord will at some point be in a position to share. It is only a question of whether we will accept that nudge that leads our lips in a given direction.

Of course, being human there are times when our tongues will have a mind of their own. We will end up stumbling and saying the wrong thing. Other times we will behave. What is important I think is we continue to be as willing to follow as the Lord leads. When we fail, we just start over, not give up.

IT'S A WONDER

I always love when people sit down an analyze some success to make it sound like it was planned. There is never one of those a moment of honesty where they say, "Whew, I sure lucked out on that one."

Conversely, with disasters it seems to work equally as well to find somebody else to blame rather than yourself. That way you don't have to admit to some flaw in one's character.

When we are talking about the things of this world, people inventing tales to justify or explain the result of something is not that surprising. But do we really need to do with it with the things of God?

You would certainly presume so from the way some ministries behave. They sit down and plot out church growth and all aspects of church life, maybe pausing to pray first, but other wise they figure out their next move by their own strength.

And if something works out they indirectly give God the credit, but talking about all the things they did to make it happen for the Lord. If on the other hand things fail, well it wasn't because of them, but the hardness of people's heart.

Are you beginning to appreciate the pattern in this thinking? It really is absurd at times in my opinion. Sort of like when people claim they have a word from the Lord. They sit down so convinced they know the Lord's will.

Only if they end up wrong, you can be guaranteed they will not be as vocal about their blunder as they were about being confident. That second part they will be just as happy if you don't even remember.

Pride just gets in the way of our honesty. Personally, I think God lets us blow it at times to humble us so we don't assume we have him totally figured out. There are other times I think he just let's us fall prey to the realities of chance so we won't get too puff up with arrogance that we somehow can control everything in life.

Along the way, we face the times when being human, we just blow it, plain and simple. It doesn't matter how spiritual we think we are, how smart we presume we are or anything else, we make mistakes.

And if we accept that is natural and normal then we just thank the Lord for his mercy and move on. Perhaps a little more humbled and wise in our thinking.

For me, part of spiritual maturity that brings peace is accepting it is okay to be imperfect. I have learned this lesson the hard way at times, but I know that my relationship with the Lord has become so much more intimidate and joyous since I finally stopped kidding myself about my shortcomings And along the way found the path of faith so much more rewarding since I stopped kidding myself about my being imperfect and in need of grace instead of never making mistakes.

TWO PIECES OF WOOD

To the Roman eyes who crucified so often
it was just two pieces of wood,
used upon another prisoner being executed
never knowing God's message or meaning
residing beyond that act of hideous cruelty.

For it was in reality a predestined act of our Lord's perfect love,
being the prophetic fulfillment of the Passover Lamb,
first sacrificed in ancient Egypt by the people of Israel
whose blood was spread on the door frame
to make the death angel pass by and not claiming the life of their first born.

Jesus knew by this act he would be
that one chosen to be slain from the foundation of the earth
whose death would result in his blood being shed to cover our sins.

So like the symbolic act with the Passover lamb,
having its blood spread upon a door's wooden post,
saving the first born from death (as the meaning of spiritual death),
thus with the cross was Christ's blood spilled to prove God faithful to his word.

Sadly, those who knew the scriptures the best, but plotted for his death
never understood the divine meaning of his crucifixion,
only thinking they had rid themselves of his life.

Like the Romans,
merely seeing his passing as just another act
served by
two pieces of wood.

For those of us who truly accept it in faith
this cross is the symbol of our redemption
finding in our precious savior
salvation to eternal life.
instead of just seeing a place the heart ends.

DAYS OF SLUMPED SOULS

If we weren't human and didn't have to content with aches and pains as well as day of feeling emotionally down. Can you really expect to focus spiritually on something if you are feeling depressed and totally exhausted? Is God so unfair and unreasonable to expect that from us?

Personally, I don't think that is realistic. I do feel we can find comfort in our misery by focusing on the Lord. But I also feel that God wants us to be honest. He doesn't expect us to come before him doing the happy dance when we feel miserable.

If we can not bring our real selves to the Lord, we fail to appreciate who he really is. We are sinners and imperfect, so why pretend we are otherwise?

To come in joy and come in sadness, it is all part of who we are. There are some that for the sake of opinion would restrict fellowship to times of happy face masks. But God doesn't.

Which is why the psalms are a composite of prayer, petition and praise. They are not just honey, but also have bittersweet moments too. It is the honestly of the soul poured out during all moments.

Speak as you feel, be as you really are and God will hear the voice of your heart. Pretend and play a game where what you bring is just vanity and he will be deaf.

That seems like simple advice, but honestly I have seen so many times it is not applied with truth in a church setting. And I'm sure that is a habit some practice in their quite times with God too, if they have those at all.

I respect the fact that for some God is viewed with a certain limited frame of reference. That old adage about putting God in a box. Meaning to see him in only confined terms based upon traditions. Never being allowed to see God as more than something you were taught to believe.

This is of course a common problem for far too many and some naturally will never be able to adjust to any other point of view. For them they will always play the game. Which naturally will be sad and cheat them out of their real joy.

But for those of us who are able to rise above the predictable and simply listen then we can savor the joy of a better form of relationship. Then to be able to walk in the light of that day with the right kind of understanding.

And that includes when we don't feel good. When we are down and sad. It all grants us the essence more opportunity for the kinds of experience we truly have reason to enjoy.

Which can so touch us when we need it the most. Providing we truly embrace what God accepts and not just our opinion.

IMPULSES

Impulses can at times truly control our lives. We can't always seem to put our finger why we have them either.

Among those times can be the moments when we sit down and look at our lives. We see it is less than we desire and suddenly are captured by those mental vows to change.

However, to often they end up just like New Year's resolutions. They feed the moment, but once the emotion is drained by time, the passion flees and we don't keep that energy flowing.

The same can happen with vows we make to the Lord. During some occasion of spiritual touch we want to grasp heaven and make it our own in this life.

All the world flees in our thinking and suddenly sense eternity actually collecting in our souls. As if we could fly up to be with the Lord at the very second.

In a heartbeat the desire swells and we have this compulsion to rise above this earth and become the perfect saint. Dreams attach themselves to the mind and pretty soon, our ambition is to be part of the Lord's most beloved.

It is all fantasy naturally. Something that allows us to wander the mountain of spirituality, but never a place we can dwell forever.

So we tender ourselves into a mint of reason that our ambition left with the wind. That in reality that sudden urge to be a perfect saint was other than practical.

Somehow in it all, we do our best to not cope with the sense of feeling we disappointed the Lord. We might even look up towards the sky just to be sure there aren't any brewing thunderbolts. When we don't see them, we relax and breath a little easier.

Does God really take such vows seriously? Will he somehow treat us as guilty of an unpardonable sin from not keeping our vows?

I think God knows our heart and what the real reasons are for our behavior. That includes knowing the difference between when our moods control our thinking, instead of something else.

Hopefully, when we fall short in such situations, we learn from them. Sometimes we do, others we do not.

And if we don't we will definitely repeat the process. Which only leads to other situations of doing the same thing.

Along the way, God's spirit can truly help to grant us sight to appreciate how we are so prone to such weaknesses and move ahead in the process.

OTHER THAN AMAZING

You ever deal with anyone who has no ability to pay you a compliment? It wouldn't matter what you accomplished they would never tell you a single word of praise.

Oh you can be sure they want you to know about their exploits, no matter how insignificant, but show you any respect, forget it. That will never happen.

There are all kinds of reasons that happens. People so often are insecure and in need of attention. They get so in need to have you stroke their ego, but they never reciprocate. Something in their nature just doesn't get them to appreciate that everyone needs that same praise.

It is in reality a very predictable form of selfishness. And it is a reflection of deeper issues alive in the desires of person that often controls them.

I have this writer's site where I participate. And as with any skill, there are people of different levels of talent who are members.

But the problem is that this site, however much one enjoys participating, is not a gateway to fame. You could spend the rest of your life being involved and never get published.

Still, for those that do accomplish some level of recognition at the site through the options available, they don't always grasp that reality. So much so, that they honestly resort to some of the most absurd forms of unethical behavior in order to gleam more attention for themselves. It creates an illusion of greatness, but no actually truth.

It is from my view truly other than amazing. Very sad, in fact. I never cease to feel the sadness over such pettiness.

In this life we all are, but a blink of time. Our hearts go silent and whatever happened while they were beating is forgotten. We do not take such crowns of boasting into eternity.

And in eternity, whether we were great or small, the light that will shine the most will belong to the Lord. He is so loving and gracious, he will give us joy as reward for our faithfulness, but none of us will ever occupy his throne.

There is an old saying about asking, "what would Jesus do?" As if we could ever do what he does in all fairness.

But at the core is a more important question. Are we willing to serve him, knowing it means eternity praising him rather than being the center of attention?

I have to be honest, there are people I meet all the time that I can't imagine will be content with that truth in eternity. As for me, well the Lord is lord and that is good enough for reality.