ONYX DREAMS

ONYX DREAMS

What prevails in your night? Is it a time of trips to beautiful places and filled with great feelings or only dark thoughts?

I don't personally think all dark dreams are bad. They can be a source of teaching. If we allow God's spirit to instruct.

And then even in the night there can be home. How easy the darkness can consume. It can produce such a heaviness.

If enough pressure comes over the soul and mood it can really be crushing. Which is so deflating of one's energy.

But the most critical element is to not let a given bout of blackness to bring permanent scars. Mainly by giving in to any dark urges.

This happens when the energy comes as a test of one's faith. God does let those because they are part of what helps us learn.

It isn't always a joy and we may not welcome them, but they are essential at times. So we have to be able to listen. And for that it can truly be such a challenge.

Not that we will be grateful for this trial. But we may be grateful when it passes. At least grateful when the joy returns.

The other day for me was full of onyx moments. I was just feeling so oppressed. And nothing I did all day seemed to in any way improve things.

All that happen was that the heaviness lasted till the next morning. I didn't do anything special to inspire or deserve it.

But I was aware it was just another aspect to my life that I was going to have to travel. And to do it I kept traveling.

I didn't run just plotted along. But I do know how much worse life would have been if I hadn't tried.

I only know that from experience. Just been there on other occasions. Which is what gives strength.

It doesn't always come with happiness. It isn't what we crave. But it is what we discover on the path between two sunrises.

And for the understanding gain I thank the Lord. For it has been a wealth, not for my bank account, but in so many other ways.

Sometimes gold doesn't come in bars.

VESTS

A vest is not a required part of any wardrobe. They can look great, but honestly aren't really necessary.

So some find them a good option and others do not. It is a choice, not a demand in any way.

Spiritual vests are something worn by God's design. They are sometimes not apparent in their value.

For their purpose is to serve God's will. Not our glory or prosperity. And that can be uncomfortable.

The mind doesn't always enjoy this option. We may connect reward with any faithfulness.

So if we must wear what isn't our choice, some calling, some duty or ministry it ought to at the very least gain us some sympathy. Only God doesn't see it that way.

Any vest is designed to fit our lives for some divine purpose. They are uniquely akin to whatever path God sets before us.

So they are a temporary covering. Those necessary to either empower or in some way aid us for the journey.

But the problem is it comes as God decides. Which means it is more about what will aid our faith and soul.

So it may come as love or peace. Instead of what we think we need. That being in our view something that is flashy.

A nice glimmering appearance that others will admire. One that says what a great saint am I.

Which is naturally the result of our ego. A need to stamp our hand print on the fabric so it appears it is our choice.

But that is the part that always burdens. It is when the vest becomes scratchy because it isn't what we expected it to be.

How far we travel and only wonder, will this vest, this burden be ours? Will it ever move past the point of our need to the point of our refuge?

The question is only answered when we pause and really take time to appreciate the vest for it true worth. That can take a life time.

Hopefully we spend more time savoring it than complaining.

STILLNESS

Apart the circus of chaos and clutter,
the mind rides a carousel of images,
hearing serenity's beckoning calliope
tremor deep within the heart,
crying out for a sweet hush
to all the echoes of do
that resonate with guilt's notes
when a shhh comes from inner lips.

In the stillness of the soul
when complaint is muted by quiet,
which wraps its soothing scarf around the brain,
then a voice from intuition's solo
sings with light's stunning serenade.

So glad to partake the oasis of silence
whether it comes in hammocks, gardens or beaches,
for it is the soliloquy of tranquility's oneness,
only felt on cerebral meadows
where insight's ears can hear the slightest decibel
while forgetting the marching band,
parading through the head
from all the prattle in pressure
and clash of stress cymbals.

DISTRACTIONS

This word has come to have new meaning to me as of late. Mainly because of my grandson.

He and his parents share our home. At all of 22 months he is a bundle of energy and full of noise.

I do love him dearly, but it has been a new world for me. There were so many years that I had quiet at home.

A place where the only sound came for things like the stereo. I could drift into a dream state and simply write.

Never truly appreciated its blessing as much as now. There are so many times I had to learn to write despite such distractions.

Yet, I have come to appreciate it for the blessings it has brought. Those times of understanding that one's calling is more than a job.

That it is a case of being a funnel for God's love to. That if serving correctly the spirit moves you beyond your own circle of thought.

It is so easy to lose sight of the ministry part. But the harvest that comes in the process is such a blessing.

So my life has both edges of that sword. A time of such joy I've never know, but also the chaos of the unexpected.

Changes that happen in a heart beat. The chords of clatter, which are noise faced with patience and understanding.

If we let God's spirit be the source of our mufflers. And for me I have been amazing how I have coped.

For now some times though it is burdensome and I question if it is really necessary, I celebrate how God's empowers to deal with it by love.

In my thoughts it has graced me with new awareness. And for that I am grateful. Not for all the times of racket, but for the lessons learned.

And that is the gold in the sound of thunder, the grace of life discovered. A blessing without complaint.

And that is the greatest joy of all. I savor it some times more than others. Hoping it will never change in my appreciation.
And to praise the Lord in the process.

BEARING WITNESS

Isn't it amazing what people remember from some encounter? Those little details you never think about.

But they sure do remember them. And will mention them to others. Not necessarily in a good way either.

There is a lot of emphasis in Christian circles about being a good witness. How often it seem to relate to living a pious life.

One where you are always loving and never have a bad thought. You just are the perfection of righteousness.

Never met a person that was truly all that righteous, but such standards. Well not if you included the times they actually acted normal.

And that is other than perfect. It will include some kind of sin. A mar on their lives that you can't ignore.

Why is it that truth is so often only important to God? That we need to somehow share our testimony without all the facts.

As if others won't really notice. Somehow they will just see what we tell them and never notice what is in our souls.

Course that is reality. Not one that gets mention is churches. We get all the dialogue of spirituality, but it is all void of some details.

So the image seen is the one that conforms to our impression. The truth becomes the story we tell ourselves.

And in the end, the witness gets made impotent because others see the reality we don't want to admit to. At least not to them.

The more this is practiced the farther we drift for the land of honesty. We keep repeating the same illusion long enough and we will believe it ourselves.

I think that is the part, which is truly sad. To not be able to bear it all in terms of how Jesus truly redeemed our lives.

Or perhaps the big problem is that maybe, just maybe we weren't that redeemed. We didn't really change that much.

It doesn't mean that is always bad. But it might also mean or imply that perhaps we weren't really listening to the Lord either.

Only time and the truth will remove any veils of our excuses.

INVITATIONS

Afternoon's melancholy
is the heart's
succor of sorrows.

Depression's sediments
engrained
as gritty thoughts
during twilight's bleeding expectations.

Sand castle prayers,
uttered in the throbbing rhetoric
from angst unanswered questions,
moaned in desperate plea
to receive a some day's telegram
for a party
having other than monotony's chromatic reality.

Loneliness becomes a crypt
in the middle of a crowd,
affection's death shroud
muffles the haunting chortle
of distant popularity.

Saline seas pour from the eyes
clinging to wish's inflatable pearls
that once floated the heart
upon a sunrise
into a charmed mountain chalet
conjured
when fairy tales were truth.

Writing one's name
on the reflection's shore,
staring out at the tides of longing,
holding hope's invitation
aboard a cruise on love's sailboat
where the sandman isn't the captain.

THE COLORS OF SMILES

Ever feel a smile? Sense the energy behind it. A cloud of rage ready to rain? A storm of sadness waiting to cause havoc to one's moods.

I still recall the times of force smiles in pews. People pretending to enjoy themselves who knew all the right words, but didn't feel them.

Perhaps that is the really unfortunate part. When mask have to be warn for fear the truth will hurt.

I do believe joy is part of the life of faith, but it doesn't have to take a contrived form. One that is artificially created.

I also think it should be one that is natural. Now that to me means if a person isn't prone to all smiles all the time then why expect them to be that way in other situations?

Joy doesn't always appear on the face. A calm expression can be joy as well as a beaming smile.

But that requires honestly. Which God truly does value. In the scriptures we are told by the Lord how true worshippers of God must worship Him in spirit and in truth.

Not hard to find the spiritual part. All it takes is to go about anywhere there is fellowship and the spirit will be obvious.

Well a spirit will be obvious. Maybe not God's spirit, but a reasonable facsimile. Even though it might not be the real presence of the Lord.

But still we do have so many ways we love to express that aspect of worship. To use all the right words.

However, that doesn't quite cover the truth part. That is a little harder to fake. It requires the need for words.

And that always in one way or another results in some translation of the information. Any aspects of one's relationship with the Lord.

All of which we can filter through any words we want, but doesn't mean they are God's words. Just the ones we decide are correct.

That is such an important part. They always come out in one way or another as twisted in due season.

Pity it becomes the banner of some arenas of spirituality. A need for play acting that never results in the real truth being share.

That is the part that always touches the most.

HEART FLUSH

I must confess that this is not the easy time in one's if this comes from stress. If it comes from joy then it is a different issue.

Hopefully we have more of the palpitations than complaints. Now the problem is that ou can't have one and not have the other.

The heart is a pendulum and you can't expect it to be other than an issue of never stop, even though we love to hope it is otherwise. Nor should we.

To me the challenge is to find better ways to cope with the times that boil the moods. And some are better at this than others.

Plus we each react differently. Some are volcanoes other boiling pots. But we all have a reaction.

Personally I am guilty to often of not venting in a healthy way. And I am grateful that God has helped me to find better and healthier ways of expressing my reactions.

Not perfectly naturally. That is not realistic. Wish it was. However, I have found better options that none at all.

I think in terms of being a believer honestly is a major concern. Nothing complicates things more than being incapable of admitting to a problem.

That attitude will always make things worse. Another way of dealing with it is through prayer.

Perhaps it sounds too predictable, but it is a means that one petitions the Lord to help others with their understanding. To pray for peace.

Unto that end we struggle. The ego can get in the way. And when times boil over this can be a time of examination.

Places we can travel to see a truth we otherwise might not appreciate. From that standpoint, it really is important.

And that is where God is the answer if we listen. Grants us chances to find means to do more than simmer.

In the midst of truth, which include not pretending things don't bother us. Which they always do.

How often the tale is told. A chance to make up a reason life should be our fantasy.

God loves us enough to let those moments pass if we stop lying to ourselves.

LOVE AS A STRANGER

It is so sad when the heart is numb and unable to feel the most basic of all emotions. When life so brings heaviness into one's essence that this part of joy is absent from the soul.

Now that is such a tragedy. And it is even sadder when it is a matter of how this was the result of there being no love from one's parents.

So that all one feels is anger and resentment, never able to love others. Can someone who never felt love truly find a way to reach out to others?

I think the honest answer may not be the one we want to hear. It is the fact that sometimes we need to first be loved before we can share it with others.

Most of my life has been spent in love's shadow. Never quite feeling the light. Just having it told to me by those I had a hard time accepting really meant it.

In this struggle. In this way station of heartbeats, to wait for the train of passion that never truly arrives is such a challenge.

For so many years, especially in church life I pretended I believe all the lies people sad about love. I call them lies because I sure didn't feel much love from all the hate they expressed in hurtful and abusive words.

I didn't think it would ever unfold different in my life. I just accepted this was my fate. To always be an outsider who was to be ignored and forgotten.

What I did learn is how God can work miracles in that regard. He has the ability to look into our ache and touch it in a way that will make love fill the void.

Even if no other soul serves to do this in our life, God still has a way to brush our heart with so many blessed paths. To add to our essence what Satan has taken away.

The how is always specific. He may bring us into contact with a person who truly will care and treat us with love.

It may come through some means we might never imagine. But He does find a way as part of the need for inner healing.

Providing we are not totally consumed in the problem of forgiveness or hate. Those impediments that detract from our heart moving ahead.

How often that can happen to us in life. A scar or wound that only festers and never heals.

Until somewhere in the tears we feel His hand.

PERCEPTION'S UNBLEMISHED AURA

Plumes of matchless purity
bedecked in silent, stunning effulgence,
array in the mesmerizing gape of elegance
perception's unblemished aura.

Alabaster tinctures,
fate's gift from the womb,
beguile in their angelic facsimile.

Breathless beauty blown by nature's breath
brings its scent in spellbound charms,
but its aroma summons a blend of reactions,
turning toxic as envy's stench
instead of fragrant as appreciation's incense.

Feathers of outer opulence
never a glimpse at the splendor within,
where words uttered
expose the echoes of majesty in the soul
or the pungent perfume of hate's ugly wind.

THE NEWS

There is one form of news that is timeless and never changes. That is the good news from the gospels.

Not that everyone has been willing to listen or believe it, but it doesn't make it any less news and good.

It is amazing to me though how often it can get diluted by being filtered through some personal prejudice. The type of filters where somebody translates scriptures to agree with their opinions.

God gave me a new term the other day. Mammon Pharisee. A Pharisee in the New Testament was one of the groups of religious leaders of the Jewish faith.

They were not portrayed very favorably in the Bible. Most of the time they seem to be experts and remembering the Old Testament and its rules, but didn't have a clue to their real meaning.

Thus the didn't recognize the Lord as divine or the Messiah to come. But they sure did plot against him.

Mammon of course is another name for wealth. Prosperity of sorts. And in conjunction with this posting, the term Mammon Pharisee would apply to a person who claimed to be a believer, but made it based on following a set of rules. Also had as a priority the need for seeing blessings as only in terms of prosperity.

A friend of mine once pointed out how seldom anyone asked to be blessed with the spiritual aspect of faith. They never preach about being rich in love or joy or any of the other things that last and count with the Lord a lot more than the size of one's pocket book.

Still for some that will always be a liability. And they will always define their faith by terms that will mean sacrificing the truth in some way.

However, in the many faces that claim to follow the Lord, there will always be those who only want the path if it fits their need. Otherwise they will just massage the words till it does say what they want it to say.

It is a passage of bias where feet stubbornly step only as they will. The heart may even pray for guidance, but keep walking the direction of personal choice.

Such is the sad nature of life. The way the heart dominates even faith if the desires are infected more with greed than love for the Lord.

And often it is a journey that never is accepted as stumbling, even when one falls down and things it was an accident. Though it was God trying to get one's attention.

END OF BEGINNINGS

Passages of life so often are connected in many ways. We move from one chapter of experience to the next without always thinking of all that happen.

Now sometimes the real frustration comes when we think we have finished one type of path and then end up repeating it. Like having to repeat the same class in school.

Now if that path was filled with thorns it can be even worse. We don't exactly find ourselves grateful.

In fact we might even feel like complaining. But then won't change the journey or our destination.

How hard it is to accept at times that some lessons in life have to be learned frequently. And to then take them over in a different way to the truth not really accepted the first time really stings our memory.

Perhaps in reflection we see the Lord's wisdom. Still it doesn't always mean gratitude for the experience.

That is particularly true if the experience is dealing with our will. That aspect of human nature that expects to be in control.

Oh the language of why those prayers can have. A long dialogue of questions asked with a dash of tone in unfairness.

Pity that more of these moments didn't involve blessings. I wouldn't complain about repeating a blessing.

But in the path of faith so man times that is not the case. Oh some teach that, but it often isn't the reality.

The whole point being to walk with the Lord's help means to be willing to follow him wherever the path might lead. And even when it means a journey to places already traveled.

Moments for the soul where we roam on the winds of God's grace. And the current is one we will never control.

So that is a matter of celebration. If we remain focused on truth and faith instead of wanting to write our own directions.

A lesson that we will never stop experience until we learn to trust only to God's road map. That can take a life time for some.

Others never learn until reaching eternity.

FOSSILS

Skeletons unearthed
in the ardor of midnight excavations
within the cerebral closet caverns
explored during spelunking revelatory expeditions,
masquerading as veracity's archaeologists.

Timber's of reverie's shipwrecks
washed into chasms
during disillusionment's Tsunamis
shudder recollection's sense
during the vain voyages upon the sea of utopian currents,
vividly stirring images
of ambition's paradise isles.

But now, in wake of reality's tides
they lie as courage's excursion remnants.
Vow uttered in despair's darkness
to ride the crest of tomorrow again.
mind gropes for a spell to invoke
the buccaneer of achievement
while haunted by ghosts of experience,
moaning the lack of hammer and nails to build a victory.

SITTING

Rest is an important element in life. A chance to relax and clear the mind of any concerns.

Unfortunately the mind doesn't always get purged of what distracts and concerns out. We can easily get sidetrack with the brain stuck in replay.

Now there are ways naturally, which are supposed to help with that problem. Anything that calms and aids in concentration is supposed to be an aid.

For myself, if I am upset about something that doesn't happen. I just have the emotions going crazy inside and can't stop them.

Which makes any ability to concentrate next to impossible. And that is not a position that leads to any nature of calm.

But then I do try to find some means of relaxing. This does get to be a challenge at times though.

And I can't speak for how others deal with this or even if it is a problem, but I can only speak from my own experience.

Basically the first thing I try to do in all the frustration of the moment, when the storm rages is to accept this is not some permanent event. It is a condition of the moment.

Then too I try to accept that I am human and that means I have emotions. The type that will mean I can't always be calm or at peace in life.

Too, somewhere as the rage subsides I come to a point of accepting that God is still there. That this moment of distraction and upheaval is not a punishment.

And at times this can be very tough. But somewhere through it all, I try to embrace that I can still trust God.

Doubt might dog me for a while, but I don't let it crush my spirit to the point I just give up completely. Which is what Satan would want.

And I try to look beyond that. To the point of truth. That I am human and a sinner and this is a time of grace.

I cherish when I can reach that plateau. A point of acceptance that lets me move past the crisis.

Scarred, but still rejoicing that it is over. Then to remember the places reached where one feels the sunlight of God's grace touch.
It warms and refreshes and for while you feel born again.

SIZE ENOUGH

Provision is an interesting part of life What is doesn't always mean is by our standards. There are some who think they are poor if they have a six figure savings account.

While there are others who live without homes or other things we think we can live without and feel they have an abundant life. Though I didn't say they all felt that way.

Basically, if God went by our definition on the size of our need, well it would be very interesting what would happen. We would see a work far different than present no doubt.

But despite the prosperity teachers and all the talk about abundant life, the reality is for many that life still plods along from paycheck to paycheck. And so often it stays that way no matter how people try to define it otherwise.

So the question becomes and the hard one to ask is can we really embrace life is what we have is all we will ever have. Meaning it is as God has set the standard.

Not that we are willing to accept it. Nope the nature of just a little more always digs at our minds.

Whatever level we achieve, more still lures as a provocative creature. The size enough of our dreams.

But not of our needs. So we crave and pray and ponder tomorrow. All without consulting the Lord.

Oh we may even shop around for a church where they will say what we want to hear just to be sure we can say it is the Lord's will. Never mind that He said no already in other occasions.

That s the tough part. Oh how the mind can focus itself on seeing anything we want as the Lord's will. It really is one of those little rationalization dialogues that works great.

Right up to the point that nothing happens that we expect. Then comes more excuses. It was a fluke.

Or some other reason except for the obvious. That God said no. We never like that answer, even if it is the truth.

But that is okay, providing somewhere along the line we figure it out and understand our mistake. Then it becomes a learning process.

All the glitter imagined, al the tales told, never bring us the gold we crave just because we say God said it was so.

A little passing thought to hopefully take along the way.

SPLENDOR

The word for me conjures such great images. The kinds that make you feel full of awe.
Things like sunrise or brilliant fields of flowers in spring have that affect at times.

They make one feel so alive and for a while life seems more intense and full of joy. Well in terms of how I perceive it that is the view I take.

And I know I am not alone. Nature just seems to have that power. And when this happens it can even take on a magical quality.

Course this is not perhaps as vivid in our thinking as our own view of what heaven is truly like. Only we don't have the ability to truly see heaven.

But we all do project in some way into our idea of what it might be like. And I imagine the word splendor would apply.

What is harder is to find heaven in the wasteland. To see splendor in places where they seem so full of destruction.

Yet, that is what eyes of faith, inspired by the Lord's spirit are suppose to see. The world is God's creation.

Even in the harsher moments if we can find God in it and savor the good intended, our gaze will always be more uplifting.

Not that we can always see God in thing like pure evil. But we can appreciate His splendor and when it is absent.

Perhaps the world will never be perfect. Maybe it will not become paradise. Still it is the Lord's handiwork.

As our people. Now seeing splendor in some lives is really hard. They can be so abrasive and hurtful.

So seeing any splendor in that context can be challenging. I'm not sure that we are suppose to look at those surrendered over to demons as splendor. See the sadness of their condition, but that is not the same thing as it being splendor.

What is something to enjoy is seeing the potential in a life. To see what God sees and that is a special source of wonder.

And if we can do that, perhaps encourage it then maybe the person will be able to become what is inside. Which is always better than if it never appears

But lips to often just never seem able to say what God's spirit would say through us if we obeyed. Thank goodness He is more loving and merciful than us.

FORCE

Nothingness, a vortex, wholly blank,
devoid of light or shadow,
an endless emptiness
without a single shaft of energy.

Suddenly,
in the volatile transfusion of supreme being power,
divine voice utters in booming eloquence,
commanding in pure intended inspiration
within the vast absence,
appearance of the universe,
tempest, naturally teeming,
life sprawling in unbridled quintessence
from a single sound of will.

Time given ticks in the eternal clock
physical reality
forged as dimensional schism from immortal,
aging infused to sculpts
the harvest of evolving life,
born in the inspired miasma
is a mortal mind,
repository of intuitive recollections
from soul's implanted tether to heavenly womb,
having eyes to see ethereal signature
upon what was by shear force of numinous omnipotence,
given animation and splendor.

EXCHANGES

How the sharing of thoughts, feelings and experiences can be so comforting during a heart felt exchange. A time of communion and encouragement.

But if it becomes one sided, only allowing for a single point of view, then it no longer is quite as rewarding. Not for the person who is forced to just listen.

There is never a shortage in life of people who consider themselves experts. They will be glad to share their opinion even if you don't ask.

Now there is always the need for mentors in life. Those with a talent for teaching and insight.

But not everyone who aspires to be a teacher is necessarily called to that office. Doesn't prevent some for trying to teach just the same.

In spiritual circles of fellowship, the role of the leader can be muddled a by the fact that pastors may not always be more knowledgeable on scriptures than some of his or her congregation. I person who has spent most of his life studying and learning might be expected to have more knowledge than a pastor just starting out at his or her first church.

But that doesn't translate into the more studied person being anointed as a pastor. Which can be easy for some to forget.

It is so easy to let the ego get in the way. To become so confident in your knowledge you think you are justified in tell a pastor how to minister.

I find myself in a precarious situation at times. I am gifted with knowledge and insight, know I am not called as a pastor.

However it is hard at times when I deal with some who are. It is never my desire to interfere in what they do, but rather support.

That doesn't always earn me gratitude. Sometimes that kind of support isn't appreciate. When that happens, I just try to be respectful and move on.

But what I do cherish are those rare times when I encounter those who truly do have a spirit of tolerance. Who embrace God's love and seek to encourage.

Wish they weren't so rare. But that is a reality. For perfection is not what is true of any f us.

It is a joy when two souls find that kind of harmony. The ability to agree, even if there are differences.

Alas the sadness born knowing this is rare rather than plentiful.

THRIST

What truly refreshes is not always liquid. It can be a stream of encouragement, a river of love, a waterfall of inspiration.

The point is we are more than body. We are mind and spirit and both have needs related to thirst.

But they aren't measured by the means we think of in other arenas. It is a need to be quenched by liquid no eyes have seen.

The taste for the mind, if one understands in, is the flavor of light. Which I'm sure won't make a whole lot of sense to some, but it means a knowledge of God.

For there is that sense of spiritual bareness in life. A sense of the wilderness all around that one does not actually control or can we escape.

Too many never actually discover this fact. They seem to wander through life feeling dry and lifeless, but never knowing why.

And to often if they do search for wisdom's well they only look in places that refresh the present with practical wisdom. It never satisfies the deeper thirst.

A mind dehydrated of that kind of elixir may be a fountain of knowledge, but never have clue about heaven. Nor will the person even care.

That doesn't always apply. For some will have both. They find the wells for the mind and also know the source is the Lord.

As for the deserts of the soul. To be honest sometimes the worst ones are inside some temple of presumed oasis.

Oh they are full of wells. Fountains of rituals that one assumes it going to satisfy the arid feeling in the soul.

A place where emptiness consumes. We just feels void of hope or sense of eternity, feeling all dried up in our faith.

I've seen plenty of withered souls in my life. People with prune faces and dead eyes who sat in pews with the attitude I've got my ticket to heaven and that is all that counts.

But the irony is that to truly feel the waters of eternity you have to be a well yourself. To be willing to flow with God's love and mercy.

To help others be refreshed so their deserts inside are watered. Seen so many that never would do that.

They are too busy holding onto the watering can for fear it will end up dry if they use it for somebody else.

RAINBOWS

Expectancy's influenza
infects with flu of faith
and inspires rainbow reveries.

Discarding
angst's umbrella,
anticipation hands
searches for hope's pot of gold
after tempest downpour.

WATER

We know that about seventy per cent of the earth is covered in water. And that the human body is mainly composed of water.

How amazing it is to me that many different forms that water takes. It is vital for our well being and survival, but too much can result in drowning.

Or if it takes a frozen form it can result in freezing. So it is a variety to us. Good if it is in the form and amount that brings life. Dangerous if it comes some other way.

Now when it comes to ways that water affects the body, we all understand it so well. We don't need any special help to grasp the significance or benefits.

The Holy Spirit has been at times referred as being like water in terms of how He influences one's life and soul. And it is so different than some imagine.

For one think, God's spirit doesn't touch or inspire as a reward. It is not the consequence of anything we did that will make us worthy.

Nor does this happen because were are holy or righteous or have more faith than anyone else. It also doesn't mean that we are somehow more approved by the Lord.

So the big problem can be focus. God's Spirit is as a water in that He will wash over our life and souls.

How He comes into our lives in ways that refreshes. And can also cleanse. But that is never a one time cleansing.

For we never stay cleansed in this life. The stains of sin always come back because we never stop sinning while alive.

Some don't enjoy that reality. They believe that the "baptism" of the Holy Spirit removes all sin.

It might sound great and I wish it were true, but it isn't. Though plenty teach it and make its seem possible.

The sad part of all this is how it really leads to an even worse kind of sin. One where you think you are so above it all that your are perfect or superior to others.

God Spirit may affect us in many ways, but spiritual pride is not part of it. That is not an affect of His touch on our lives.

He does empower, He does inspire, but any true impact of God's spirit on the soul is that it makes us more aware of the Lord's divinity and how much we fall short on that subject.

This produces humility and not boasting.

SKYLIGHTS

Transoms in the mind seeing universes imagined. Places to hide where the night is magical and charmed.

But then we know it isn't reality. Mainly a place to visit when we need to escape. Neer meant as our home.

I always marvel at the ways one can slip out of the facts and into a fantasy. As if they will be truth.

Still it happens and far too often. Just a passage some make in life that they think will bring some happiness.

I can recall back in the sixties during the hippie culture how they had all these wonderful loving sayings. It all sounded impressive.

Only it didn't seem to in any way translate into what one did in terms of real love or joy. Just sounded great.

Words are wonderful ways of conveying feelings. Yet without sincerity they don't mean much.

If they are all flowery, yet hollow of meaning then it has no real value. Just becomes more air you inhale that doesn't mean anything.

An those kinds of mirages just never end up satisfying. Sort of like with a politicians speech.

Some can be so filled with hope. And visions for the future. But if they do not end in some constructive evidence of their meaning, they are just get so thrilled with their own words.

Sadly the sight of vision is never as clear when it is covered in some kind of shaded bias. And it so darkens the intended image.

There is an absence of truth and insight. A view with stained eyes of sin that tries to se oneself as having pure sight.

And along the way what truly is sacrificed is the message from the Lord. The transom intended loses its value.

Then it becomes a shielded and tragedy image. Unable to bless, unable to minister, just a gaze the never truly benefits.

Except perhaps to the person who doesn't care and is satisfied in their blindness where only darkness resides.

SMALL TEARS

These are the times when a person says he or she is okay even when it isn't true. So the person is in reality hurting very deeply, but won't admit it.

How easily the tongue can wound. It can slice up a heart with only a few words. And we often don't even appreciate the times it happens.

Because the person is bleeding on the inside. So we don't notice the blood. And even in some cases if the person says so, we don't think the pain is that bad.

Well that is part of the problem. The dialogue of the soul. Those precious little jabs that either hug or harm.

And no matter how hard we try, there are times that we still end up causing such problems. Just are times when despite our attempts we cause pain.

And you can be sure that the other person feels it. They will certainly remember it too, those kinds of injuries we seldom forget.

Now in normal day to day affairs this is sadly a fact of life. We may even come to expect it.

But when we get into the spiritual realm we expect otherwise. We want the people to be more like God.

To be loving and kind and encouraging. The scriptures even tell us that is how we are suppose to treat each other.

Have yet to be in a church that has been that way. Been to plenty that sure did know how to discourage.

It is said that in the display of spiritual pomp and circumstance to oft the tabernacles do so fall short of what they preach. And there is vaguely given a fitting description of Him.

Oh there are plenty of sermons designed to make us feel guilty. And to remind how we are sinners.

As for helping us to bind our wounds and have hope. Well there are the barkers of blessings.

They love to make you feel as if you can heaven on earth. Normally they never treat things such as love as a blessing.

Nobody is inspired to give to get more peace or self control. We are passed the offering plate with promise you'll be rich in joy or love.

I think that pretty much says it all on many levels.

TWILIGHT

World's edges soften,
light's knives
blunted.

Sun's fingers
slip beneath
horizon's mattress.

Swimming neon sea
by eve's calming wind.

EVER

There is admittedly a certain finality to the word ever. As in it will be the concept that when this happens it is for always.

In life there are many situations that carry consequences. Some are lasting others are temporary.

But they all do mean something will take place that will affect one's life. And that is a reality.

Still it doesn't mean that we will enjoy the option. But we know it is part of life and something we must endure.

So deep down we tolerate it. And that is what we have to accept in life, though we don't necessarily feel good about it.

However the mind still dreams. And we hope for the miracles of our sleep. Those will always bless in smiles.

But they will not change life. And they will not give us the blessings we crave when they only exist in our minds.

For some they manage to not dwell on this. Or they take time to focus on their fantasies and try to make them real.

What happens is that for some who prefer the path of self reliance to the path of faith the will look for short cuts in life that will obtain their desire. The walk along God's path doesn't always bless in ways we want.

It does take us on a journey according to His will, just not according to our will. And some can't handle the lack of control. So they resort to findings other means they decide will give them a short cut.

So special edge in life over others. Unfortunately no matter how much we plan and plot God is still in control.

And that means He can alter or change our situation in a heart beat. No matter how much we think it should be otherwise.

I smile at those who try to achieve some edge in life by their own strength. And how often it fails.

They just get thwarted in their arrogance of thinking they can be god of their lives. As for me, well I just keep trusting to the Lord.

And that is enough edge for me, just knowing the Lord in His wisdom always wins.

LESS THAN EQUAL

There is nothing that weighs heavier on the heart to me than the sense of feeling inadequate. It doesn't matter how much talent you have if you don't feel where you live.

And if you truly can't see yourself as other than worthless how can you trust God for blessings for the future? Just hard to have faith in hope and improvements if you don't feel you deserve it.

Why is it when you are down and really sad that people seem to come out in droves to give you grief? It is like they can sense your pain and want to add to it.

Which never improve the problem. Just makes you feel worse. And if you are really down you are going to get even farther down the scale of feelings.

What is hard to find are those who care and encourage. They really are rare. So truly a small part of life.

And it can be so hard to believe them if you are buried under an avalanche of criticism. Then you can really find it impossible to dig out from that mound.

Regardless of how we feel about ourselves, the one thing that is true is God loves us. He sees in us the gold.

Oh he also sees the sins, but loves us just the same. And will be part of our lives as long as we don't give up on Him.

What is a difficulty with this is when trusting God doesn't bring the blessings we think we deserve. If we are expecting Him to somehow take away all the wrong in our past and give us our idea of success then we are most likely going to be disappointed.

That is because we have selfish motives. We think we can get even with those who caused us pain.

And that God will somehow make that happen. But the path of faith is about following God's will.

It means doing so no matter where it leads. And that doesn't mean it will lead to the places we expect.

But then part of surrender to the Lord is to embrace His wisdom. He may or may not bring to life changes that we think of as blessings.

However, the trip is always one that leads to Heaven. And that will always be a better future than any of our dreams.

Which one can cling to when the past gnaws at our thoughts.

FRAMED

Truth's box lunch philosophy practiced
in penguin pantomimes of conformity,
stuffing conscience into ancient pillars
of appeasement's cardboard reality,
social chameleon rote training doled out
with rationale's survival's kit.

Landscape of future sunrises methodically sculpted
to framed caricatures of veracity,
utopia's amusement park mirage
filled with bureaucratic spiders and wolves,
all treated as paradise quirks of curative prescriptions.

Mind left on shelf of dream morgue
while taking correspondence course
about lifestyles for drone and parroting ecstasy.

Death mask of self worn with denial's pride
to party without revelation's mirrors
so one can sup upon feast of manipulation's bakers
and forget how one's esteem is made out of clay,
molded by fear of death from lack of approval.

STRANGE

How amazing it is what is in the eyes of one weird and in the view of another totally normal. We all have our own perceptions and what to us makes sense.

Which is totally understandable. Still it doesn't keep some from looking at others and deciding their view is not acceptable.

So we have a society full of unwritten rules in conformity. They aren't written down anywhere, but you always know when you have violated them.

And there is a definite pressure upon us, subtle as it is applied to be sure we obey them even if we don't always agree with their tenets.

Now in terms of behavior related to relationships and adherence to what gains approval, one can be fairly sure there is not a lot of room for individuality in that realm. It is an arena of clay where we are expected to be molded like some cookie cutter clone.

Any variation naturally brings consequences. But at the same time we do privately admire the rebel.

We just aren't as inclined to join that person's ranks if it means we pay a price in some way within our own world of contacts. Being apart of the pack always is an engrained aspect of existence.

What is subdued is the possible facets of the spirit, those ways that God marks our being in some special and unique way. And since it comes from the Lord it will be an expression with a heavenly element.

This isn't the same as some idiosyncrasy. It isn't a quirky aspect of our being. What it is as to do with who were are at the very core.

The part of us that is meant to be with the Lord and cries out from our inner most darkness to be heard and revealed. But because it is strange by some peoples view we often hide from its reality.

Which is what God will often nudge in our spirits at the right timing. This happens most when we are listening to His Spirit.

And that ends up with leading us in directions that yields a chance for this form of expression to breath. Which in the end can be a voice for the Lord that touches in ways we might never imagine.

How often this single burst of breath from within brings a wind with light from the Lord. It grants us a chance to shine illumination without even knowing it.

We become blessed as givers from the Lord and peace is our reward.

AFTER DIM

Ever have those times when you come out of some dark place and into the daylight? The sun's light really isnt' any different.

But our eyes have the problem. They take time to adjust to the changes. And yet for a few seconds when exposed to the light again we see it as being far more intense.

On a spiritual level the first time we see spiritual light it can be overwhelming. And we make give in to the urge to see it as meaning we somehow have special sight.

God didn't change, not did His light change. But our ability to see it has changed. If we keep this in focus it does help later.

For when we do not it can lead to misunderstandings. We can lose our capacity for being objective.

Our eyes can end up only seeing truth in a limited light. And we may even lose the ability to perceive colors.

Those being the shades of knowledge. We can get so caught up in seeing things as black and white.

And that never helps us with seeing the world as it is. All it does is make us vulnerable to distortions.

We can decide the whole world can be shrunk down into our mind and made translated into only what we want it to be. And if we do that then our mind closes off to learning.

For some times the path of light, which leads to God is one where we sadly stumble. And the Lord will allow that if we take time to get too caught up with pride.

It becomes a form of blindfold. One that honestly we keep on even though we stumble. Because we love feeling we are wise and know the truth even if we don't see it correctly.

I am grateful that God's grace still tarries with us in our own personal darkness. He is merciful and will keep tarrying with us even when we are prone to misunderstand.

For He does know when we are corrupted by our sight and when we are just having problems adjusting. And he can see the difference in our souls.

But the problem is when we just keep stumbling and never notice the bruises. Then we can not let the Lord's hints get our attention.

The great thing is that this is never a permanent condition if at some point we stop being blind. Then He will help us start over.

Which is never bad when it helps us along the way.

NOT MUCH

This is one of my normal sayings at times when life is too routine. Doesn't mean it is bad or boring, just not much is changing.

Which is not always a bad aspect. It is a sign too of stability. Change is a good part of life at times.

Even more so when it is a positive change. Negative ones can have pluses to life, but may be so much harder to appreciate.

Still when times are stagnant it can be a moment we let our minds wander. For the heart does crave stimulation.

And when monotony smothers are dreams then how do we avoid listening to the whispers from within. The ones that hint we should find ways of ending the boredom.

A perfectly understandable attitude. Providing our quest doesn't become a form of temptation.

How easy it is for that to happen. So easily we can drift from looking for excitement to looking for more.

To let the not much become some justification to reach out for the forbidden. Then we take the step beyond the stirs of the heart.

This is when we are also most prone to have deaf ears to the Lord's spirit. For it can be like a dam bursting.

Our desires suddenly flood over our reason and what at one time we would have thought as impossible or undesirable flood our lives with urges. Then next thing we do is give in to them.

This never ends with a reason to celebrate. For such an indulgence generally ends in consequences.

And too late we find ourselves filled with regrets. We feel the void from not having thought things through enough.

When those times come into our souls, God can lead us in the direction that will truly be uplifting. He can show us the types of light that will bless.

The problem is that at the moment if we are so out of control with our own lusts, we may not see the gold. That can be a challenge.

And if we allow ourselves to listen then despite how we feel about it at the moment it brings us to the truth.

ETERNAL PALMS

In God's hands He holds the universe
with a father's tender loving care,
having spoken life into creation,
and watching over it with such compassion.

Eternal palms that endure with longsuffering mercy,
always blessing with the labor of His wisdom
only wanting to help us see
His fingerprints upon time and our world.

By divine wisdom does He teach,
letting His spirit come as a wind,
already having sent His son
so we would know the depth of His forgiveness.

Faith is what Jesus brought as hope
that in His sacrifice on the cross
we could trust and claim the promise of salvation.

Oh sing, sin stained soul in joy about the Lord's deliverance,
rejoice that He showers us with the gift of grace,
which doesn't require us to be perfect to gain His approval,
for it is a free and undeserved.

Standing before Him as mortals,
blemished sheep of spiritual blindness,
whose eyes He opens by His righteous light,
making it possible for us to see Heaven as reality
as well as how it dwells in others,
until we would reach out with our own tattered vestments of life
just to show another where the real tailor of redemption dwells.

Able to sleep in the cradle of His fingers
knowing a peace that never comes
by running away from the truth He shines.