REAPING THE LUSTROUS NODS

The need for approval can be so addictive. Is there anyone that doesn’t in some way crave the occasional pat on the back? What is really hard is when people, especially parents use that tool as a form of control. They will intentional withhold approval or restore to constant criticism in order to keep their child or whoever from having the kind of esteem that would lead to independence and a positive as well as maturing life. It is sadly a very subtle form of abuse. One that doesn’t leave the kinds of scars easily seen, but they are still felt so intensely.

I have been participating in a given writing’s web site for several months now. It is place were many writers put their work on display for others to read and enjoy. Every participant is encouraged to spend time reading and living uplifting forms of comments about this work. That can be very encouraging at times.

What has totally shocked and appalled me is the number of members who have posted works related to some terrible abuse heaped upon them by their parents. This strikes a nerve to the one with me since I came from that type of horrible childhood and my own nightmares and horrors make me extra sensitive to seeing it in others.

I can escape the obvious question of how can parents be so incredibly cruel and sadistic? I realize that when I’m reading this person’s work I’m only getting their interpretation, but I appreciate how often their comments are grounded in some fact.

I have no explanation on why the Lord allows such terrible pain to be inflicted on small impressionable children. I do know that such sin is not without accountability. And like any other sin, God does grant us the free will to do either good or bad.

I can’t say I have been the perfect parent, but I have honestly tried not to treat my son the same way I suffered. I guess you would have to ask him if he feels this has been loving.

What I do know is that God sees everything. And he can and does often give us those small hugs. They don’t come with thunderbolts or voices in heaven. Sometimes it is in a less dramatic way. But when you feel God’s caress through a blessing or soothing moment of calm, his spirit often taps one on the shoulder just to let us know it was from him.

Perhaps we can’t always look forward to the complete deliverance in this life from the perils of all the harm Satan inspires in some. Maybe we may not even be able to find more fans than enemies in life. However the great joy is knowing the day will come in the Lord’s presence when it will be replaced by the type of family that will give us hugs that will last forever.

I pray if this is your valley that you will find a small ray of peace and hope from this posting. And rejoice in knowing no matter the tongues who only know how to speak hate in this life, the day will be here eventually where we shall only hear from the ones that speak love.

GLORY

What stirs in your mind when you hear the word? I mean the first thought or image? Is it personal glory? The type where you are adored by fans for some accomplishment? Or does it relate to the experience drawn from memory of having witness somebody else being granted such attention?

Have I truly touched upon the reality of normal human thought in that regard? Unless we are somehow totally focused spiritually I’m sure somewhere in the word we translate it by our own dimension.

The ultimate frame of reference for glory is of course the Lord. With him glory has an eternal quality. One that will never stop shining.

And he is so gracious to let his glory shine through us when we join him. That kind of warmth and bliss has no equal in this life.

I was reflecting the other day on a small moment in history that is recorded in the scriptures. It took place when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden. We are told they dwelled there before their fall and were naked and not ashamed.

Once they ate of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, they suddenly had their eyes “opened” to their nakedness and then hid. One thing that bothered me about that was how come simple nudity would really bother them so much? I mean there were no other people around. I can’t imagine they were worried about what the animals might think.

So what really was the cause of their shame then? This is just speculation, but could it have been the shame of having gone from being perfect or sinless to being a sinner? Seeing themselves in that type of spiritual nakedness condition, which was totally foreign to their existence was something I would certainly feel could make them feel ashamed.

And in the process with God their relationship deteriorated. They actually thought covering themselves in some way was going to remove that condition of nakedness.

I think to the times when I’ve imagined how easy it is to justify or excuse one’s sins in prayer. So in many ways I can’t help feel a few of us have tried the same thing with the Lord in some different way.

Perhaps that is why some people work so hard to pretend they don’t send. Ever known anyone who never can bring themselves to admit that they do things that are wrong? Isn’t that in part the same type of behavior?

The great thing is knowing how we don’t truly have to avoid such spiritual nakedness with the Lord. We can come to him fully prepare to allow him to see our real selves since he sees us that way already. Some work so hard to avoid such realities. As for myself, well I’m learning to celebrate God’s grace and can’t wait to know that glorious time when he will cloth us with his perfection so we will never have to feel that kind of nakedness again.

REPAIRS

Sleep
until it brings the day.
One refreshing in new vision
of intense, sensuous incandescence and perfect, vibrant dreams.
Summon with joy billowy clouds of promise and hope,
which can invade a passion bleeding, empty and sky
too bountiful
with questions and the hint of despair.
Give thanks
for the invisible divine hand
that paints life’s
mural
so we can
frame it with our eyes
by the spectacles of faith
when the darkness
swallows the magic
and we must warm ourselves
under
a blanket of praise.

AND THE LORD SAID

Yep, how many times are you told that during a sermon or some bible teaching? Of course the Lord said it. We have a whole bible chalk full of things the Lord said. It doesn’t mean we always UNDERSTAND it correctly though.

I was listing to a man comment on prophesy the other day. And he made a very insightful observation. Today there are many people who love to treat themselves as experts on prophecy. They figure they have all the details of the book of Revelations accurately interpreted and know exactly how things will take place during the tribulation.

I did like what this individual made as a comment. He pointed out how the scribes and religious leaders of Jesus’ day had all the prophesies of the Old Testament available and they all thought they had a perfect understanding of them. Yet despite that knowledge they totally missed the real fulfillment of those prophesies. It didn’t mean the prophesies weren’t true. It simply meant the people were human and didn’t have the ability to perfectly grasp every detail.

He went on to say how he imagined if they were that far off in terms of understanding the first coming of the Lord why should we assume we will truly be any better. That in reality when something like the Tribulation does take place in all likelihood we too will end up being surprised by how things actually unfold.

I have truly come to find this approach so comforting in an odd way. I mean sometimes it is such a temptation to want to feel we are so spiritual and insightful that we know the facts perfectly. It doesn’t do much for that image when we end up finding out we are wrong.

That doesn’t mean we are supposed to study scripture. And I think that the events in the world today certainly lend themselves to being the kind of stage from which the tribulation can occur. But the when part still remains a lingering issue.

I guess my main reflection is to guard ourselves against the peril of letting our minds become like concrete. To allow ourselves the said temptation to see only black and white and out of pride alone feel ours is the only truth available.

God’s light of truth really does shines in all directions. Some might see flickers of it that we missed. Others are so dazzled by any light they think it all comes from God even if it doesn’t in some cases.

Opening one’s hearts so we truly are willing to allow God to let us see what is there that we need to know is never as easy an option as some profess. And in the end if he guides to a spot where we only see in part can we be content with accepting that reality? More important still can we be content with admitting the same? I don’t know are probably words you will find truly rare to be spoken by most Christians. Too bad they are often far closer to the truth than we care to acknowledge.

EVER

The one fascinating element to words with a tonality of absolutism is how hard it is to police their completion. Forever is a long time. It is far longer than any of us will live in this life. And never or ever aren’t much better terms of making sure that we are able to keep them as a vow.

Still I hear some people utter those words every day. At first I was impressed by such vows. That was until I witness the times when the word became nothing more than a vapor that disappeared in times of circumstances.

Even knowing this doesn’t keep me from occasionally indulging in the same vocabulary. Until I find myself remembering how silly it is to try and play the prophet if not so called.

In reality I can’t help thinking that ever and its offspring of control are in many way a form of putting our faith in ourselves rather than God. To surrender those terms to his sovereignty is to accept his being Lord over all.

No matter who well we understand that for some it will be a more challenging labor than others. There are those for whom the word ever and its derivatives will always be a playground for their sense of security.

Thus I do what I can to allow the words to enter my soul via a path to Heaven. Ever being a certain only in that domain.

Perhaps in some ways that is part of what makes heaven such an abode of peace. For God keeps his word. He does what he promises. And in his presence where our voice is one inspired by his spirit we too can use those words with certainty.

Until then there will always be the “ever” drones that peddle some form of ever with the illusion that we really do have some control over life. It will always appeal and always find an audience since it makes man out to be god.

That maybe be one reason why such teachings will always be more popular even in church circles than those emphasizing faith. Still the game continues. We will always find it and the rules will always change.

However maybe at some point if we go weary of evers that never take place or its offspring that also fade in reality we will at last listen to God’s voice of reason. Again the question is maybe. That too is not a guarantee.

Meanwhile each day we have the choice to surrender to the evers of life and own illusions or turn to gaze upon our Savior whose throne will truly last forever. Perhaps it will bring a moment of sanity in our race to try and create our own throne too. All the time God in his abounding grace listens and watches and is ready to help lift us up when we stumble over too many of those ever vows.

AWAKE

How easy it is for the senses to go on autopilot. With all the sensory information that bombards us in a given day it is only natural that we would want to cushion ourselves from overload.

Thus for example when driving car it becomes almost second nature to let the mind drift to other thoughts while tooling drown the road. We fail to pay attention to the degree driving truly requires. Most of the time we are fortunate and we arrive at our destination unscathed. However on some occasions no doubt we end up in an accident with our distractions contributing to the consequence.

Being human I think means we have to appreciate that is a part of life that will no doubt haunt us as long as we live. Accepting though can be tough. Which is evident by the number of times when this contributed to some blunder and we prefer to lie than admit the truth.

Spiritually I believe God understands this element in our nature. I don’t think he has any unrealistic expectations in terms of our minds wandering from time to time. Although it doesn’t have to be true I can help wondering if it is a factor on why there are so many occasion when God takes years preparing a person for certain callings.

I marvel at the good intention attempts some churches make to try and prepare a worship service that will totally immerse a person in the event. And truly expect anyone can maintain a level of concentration for the entire service.

Of course nobody admits to the fact that in the midst of such intense efforts their minds still wander. That would be way to truthful.

Yet it is often the truth. But we are still at times too hesitant for fear of what somebody else thinks to admit that perhaps we aren’t as spiritual as we want to think we are.

For myself, I find my relationship with the Lord waxes and wanes in intensity. There are moments when it literally scars my memory from the overwhelming emotion and spiritual encounter. Often this happen when I’m not even somewhere considered spiritual.

In other cases in places I assume that would be inclined to produce such reactions I find that I feel nothing. I can even find the moment to be boring at times.

As far as I’m concerned I think the message I’ve come to understand is that God truly does want a personal relationship with him. We are to see our Lord and Savior as above all a person. One who truly knows when we are awake and when our souls are dosing.

It is okay if he knows because then he’ll be sure he gets our attention when we are wide awake. Even if it isn’t in some place one normally thinks would have a spiritual alarm clock.

AMONG THE SPACES

Among the spaces
between haste
and voids in the soul
are the unfolding discoveries
that are the invisible companions
who dine
in one’s kitchen pantry
full of secrets
we preserve
by never
opening their doors.
They do have a shelf-life
until the mystery spoils,
but the joy comes
from hiding them.
Sometimes
we renewal
our devotion to baking,
making casseroles
to feed the ogres of rude dispensation.

A QUANDRY OF FISSURES

Walking the rugged terrain of each waking includes the occasional stumbling. We often love to regard ourselves as in control and everything we do having intent and meaning.

However there are times when we all stumble. There are those moments no matter how hard we try that we end up falling into some fissure of doubt and circumstance.

Now that is part of reality. It doesn’t mean we have to like it, but it does mean we have to understand it is something that will happen.

All of that ought to inspire compassion. Anybody can make a mistake. Anyone can fall. We can all have reasons to question life and our essence.

So how come it seems that as Christians we are often better at complaining than encouraging? The Apostle Paul admonishes us to not even say a word that isn’t “profitable” for edifying when speaking to each other. That doesn’t have anything to do with the times when a Pastor or teacher must instruct and do so in a way that points out ways we need to repent or deal with a problem.

Still we are reminded that even a Pastor’s role is to inspire us to trust God since we are told that “faith” comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. I have to be honest I have heard a lot more sermons that bordered on criticism more than love or inspiring faith.

To me part of the problem stems from the fact that in general it seems we often experience more criticism in life than inspiration. How many of us work someplace where we feel unappreciated? Maybe we have families that aren’t good at encouraging either. In times all this only weighs us down with a heavy mantle of depression or a sense of inadequacy.

How do we cope with so many fissures in our self-esteem? How do we find a fount of hope to take a drink and continue walking?

The libraries are full of advice on that subject. If you want to look long enough you will find somebody to offer you advice on how to find “yourself.” Sometimes their ideas are helpful, others they are not.

For the man or woman of faith though, we ultimately have to come to that step of trust where we remember no matter how isolated and alone we feel that our strength comes from the Lord. He sees our heart and knows the depths of our struggle.

It doesn’t mean that he’ll shine a light into our darkness so others will see what we dream is our image. It does mean he will give us the strength to keep trying.

Granting the Lord the trust to let him strike a candle in our hearts instead of depending upon artificial illumination in others opinions to guide our way isn’t always easy. But the light will last a lot longer, shining even into eternity.

MORE THAN SOME

To gaze upon the mound of a day and wonder if it will be enough is normal. Provision is the abiding and consuming urgency of much of what we deal with in life. After all without it survival can be impossible.

Yet our reaction to what is enough varies. For some there will never be a moment obtained when the malady of insecurity doesn’t dominate their thoughts. They can accumulates hordes of whatever and never feel secure. Faith in such a mindset will always cling more to belief than any degree of trust. For genuine trust requires the activity of accept that God really is lord of a situation and that mean in some cases allow him to handle a situation.

What is difficult is difficult at times is to embrace the reality of the miracle that Jesus did with the feeding of the five thousand or the even more practical miracle of how God gave the people of Israel manna for years. Basically when you get beyond the miracle aspect, there is the subtle truth that God is not required to respect the basic physical laws that govern our lives.

Thus in our situation we might look at what is more than some in terms of say our bank accounts and say, “this is more than some, but not enough for what I think I need.” And that is just one of many ways we can regard what we have as better than minimal, but still consumed with it not being as adequate as we would desire. It is so easy to fall of that ledge of thought into an abyss of doubt and forget to God all things in that regard are possible. The emphasis being on the possible.

I think part of the tension arises from the reality of knowing the times when God doesn’t necessary take the more than some we have and allow it to actually be enough. He is totally able to see deep into the recesses of our thoughts and know when we are too full of the confidence that is bad for our soul. For to encroach upon the sovereignty of God by presuming we can dictate in any way how he will deal with a given situation is to invite his disapproval. His method of correction for our faulty thinking can be very dramatic too.

Still it is so easy for us to slip into the temptation to try and analyze each situation according to our desires. To basically want to control the details and supply so we can in essence play the part of God in our own lives. It might be practical and logical in our minds, but it truly is contrary to our spiritual welfare.

So at times when we get too focus on some mound in our lives, be it our bank account, possessions or whatever is the consummate preoccupation of our desires, it is so important to stop. Then to pause and look beyond the more than some of what we think will give us some security and remember that it truly is God that is the owner of that mound. He is merciful in allowing us to have stewardship over it, but regardless of the size it will end up accomplishing what he desires if we are truly willing to set aside our desires and seek his wisdom. His light will always touch and guide in the way that is truly going to grant us the sight to see how that more than some is just what it should be in his purposes.

WHERE IS EMPTY?

Is longing
a monster
creeping
in the veins?
Do we become its victims
while feeling
the affects of rain?
Or is it the appetite
simply a relentless,
mindless surge
to fill
the offspring of fear?
Searching
for the refreshment of sagacity
is a quest
having no map.
We seek
some ointment,
which will fertilize
all the valleys of the soul.

GOING AND CALLED

There is a difference between being “sent” and being called. One requires a journey. The other does not. And you can be both called and sent, but I think the one thing that is different is to be sent means a more radical change in terms of actually going somewhere different.

You can call that being picky, but I think this came to relevance to me personally when I reflected upon how often to be sent doesn’t mean you are going to be welcome where the Lord asks you to go. Whereas to be called can mean being in the company of those who accept you.

I’m reminded of people like Abraham and the Apostle Paul. The word Apostle does have the meaning of one who is sent. However in both cases they didn’t necessary spent time in places of their choosing. Abraham had to spend a great deal of time wandering the land that would eventually be the inheritance of his offspring. I don’t know if he ever got tired of having to walk so far and often, but you do have to give him credit for his obedience to the will of the Lord.

The Apostle Paul also traveled a great deal. In his case his journeys included a lot to time seeing the inside of prisons. Hardly the type of uplifting memory that I imagine I would want to cherish.

How often though are we sent and perhaps don’t realize it? Maybe not in terms of going somewhere far, but to a given church or ministry or just to some service for a momentary purpose in the Lord’s plan.

This kind of journey can be only temporary and it is because he has chosen us for a given calling that applies to a given need. We don’t get to choose the landscape or direction just whether we are willing to obey.

Of course such a journey may not carry with it any nods from others. They may not look upon our being sent as a blessing or even understand the purpose.

I guess my main point is that because being sent can be less impressive or inspirational it can also be less appealing. And when the Lord opens a given door to some place where we are suppose to be sent that might reality may affect our thinking.

Still the journey normally ends with some message or understanding. Being called can mean obedience without necessarily always having that type of understanding beyond knowing we are called.

In either case, to wander or wait the choice of following God’s path is always far more worthwhile for the obedient than for those who elect not to do as the Lord desires. I pray that we are always touched enough by the spirit of the Lord to listen and walk wherever that path leads. And to find the light of his understanding to guide us no matter how many shadows we see.

ZEAL IN THE MIDSTS

The dreams of faith lurk on the back roads of thought’s landscape when each day has no luster. Slowly the fire of inspiration can cool and we become a spiritual zombie just going through the motions.

So out of habit we look for rescue in fellowship. Our first natural choice is a worship service or other form of activity where we are in the company of other souls.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that perhaps our minds turn towards God. That is if we can keep them off of thinking about whatever feelings we have about the other people around us. In the end perhaps we have a momentary flash of emotional high and recharge enough to survive till the next spiritual venue occurs.

Still, missing in all of this may be the element of true inner passion for one’s lord. Oh we might come close, but we still find it missing in some inexplicable way.

When that emptiness consumes there is only one form of actual rescue. It only comes through fellowship with the lord. Only the power of his holy spirit can restore such zeal.

The difficulty is appreciating that we are not a reservoir for such zeal. We are more like a faucet. And a great many things in life can influence when the handle gets turned.

Which is why there is nothing wrong with those times when we honestly feeling cooling of our passions. Those are the quiet moments when we should appreciate how they are hints of our need to find the zeal in the midst of life, not only in the midst of some worship service.

God can speak to us in many places. We have to be wiling to listen and see through the eyes of faith and find the face of Christ watching us in all the habitats of our minds not just the ones where we expect to find him.

Lost is not just a condition of the unredeemed. Even sheep being watched over by a shepherd can get lost. We mustn’t forget that it is so easy for our eyes to get blurring in the doing and daily activity.

Hopefully we can listen and wait upon God for those most special moments when the zeal does come. To remember they truly are in life intended to be special moments instead of a constant wind.

Some race for the mirage of enduring passion as if an emotional mountaintop has no end. Such a quest never ends without sooner or later the person falls from the ridge. And when they do it often ends in leaving them so crippled they may never be able to walk again.

Seek as only God can guide. He will in his mercy grant each of us the passion as is best for our soul. It will come in the midst if we allow it to. And even if we are the only ones feeling like shouting.

SUFFERER'S MOON

It has been said that people act differently or strange during a full moon. Supposedly the affects have the ability to cause people to do strange things. Whether it is true or not I have no idea.

I do notice though during a full moon that I myself feel more restless and when I’m driving somewhere people just appear to be more reckless. Is that the result of the influence of a full moon? Personally I can’t say for sure.

On a spiritual level the impact of suffering though can often leave its mark on our mood and senses. It can affect us and make us act differently in a way that can be so apparent like with a full moon.

What is difficult about suffering too me is first the uncertainty about how long it will last. Then there is the issue of pain. The need to rid one’s life of stress and other forms of pain can definitely be taxing on the senses as well as one’s faith.

Which leads to the obvious question. How come God can’t either remove such suffering or at least grant us the calm to avoid the emotional reaction of a sufferer’s mood? Is it really necessary for me to become so utterly laid bare emotionally so my worst weakness and dark side becomes so apparent?

On the human side I will confess that I think I would be a far more adequate witness and example of faith if I didn’t have any tendency to panic. Being a pillar instead of some towering emotional monument of Jello would do so much more to inspire.

However I know that isn’t how God works. He grants us the sufferer’s moon experience to test our faith and if we are able to grant us to see the parts of our life that are imperfect. Humbling us is sometimes the most merciful thing the Lord can do for us.

Complicating the whole process I think is the fact that suffering isn’t the same for all of us. We might all experience certain crisis, but some are spared to certain individuals.

It is natural to what to know why. It is natural to question the whole process. Yet I don’t think the answer is as easy or complicated as we make it.

There are those moments of suffering that are the result of choices we make. Others are simply consequences of things that we can’t control such as our genetic legacy.

In reality it doesn’t matter the cause in terms of our experience it. To suffer is to still know the pain and anguish whether it was our fault or something beyond our control.

God’s provision is not to remove the sufferer’s moon, but to give us the strength to endure while we breathe. To trust him in faith doesn’t always mean to pray for deliverance as much as it is to seek his strength. Accepting that is in its own way to see under the dim light of a sufferer’s moon what is really there.

EDGE

From purgatory
to paradise
a feast of extremes
devoid of logic.
Emptiness
is filled
with the bite
of wounds
caused by unanswerable
questions.
Does light
become
the darkness
where I live?
Shall God
heal
my sense of being
discarded?
Another breath is taken
while waiting for the wind’s reply.

DAWNS BETWEEN

When light intrudes into the darkness of thought, it isn’t always immediately one that produces a redemptive glow. We can see the faint flicker of God’s hope and provision, yet be left confused because it doesn’t purge our lives of every shadow or the moment of consuming night.

Dawn unto the body arrives, predictably and regularly. We can easily miss the miracle or take it for granted. How often we simply never even give it a thought.

A dawn for the soul is more precise and hard to forget. However it doesn’t always come when we expect it and sometimes we don’t even recognize it till after it takes place.

The process of seeing with the spirit can be difficult. There are occasions we can easily make errors in our grasp of such revelation if we base our reaction only on first impression.

Eventually, with God’s help the truer light will be revitalized in our thinking. We shall gaze at it’s real light and rejoice.

Once we do though there are often the times that follow when we end up between such dawns. It is as if we are expected to take whatever lesson we were meant to learn and apply it in our lives.

Such ravines of thought and site aren’t intended as a curse or punishment. They shouldn’t be regarded as such either if we are willing to listen for God’s voice to help us be guided to his purposes.

My wife and I are in the process of going through a transition in our lives. It will be a very special blessing once it is realized and fulfilled. We had made our plans accordingly for how this change will touch our lives.

Then last week we received some unexpected news in terms of a new burden that will come on our shoulders. It won’t ruin the blessing, just give it a different perspective. This was one of those times when God took us in different direction than we presumed.

The big struggle is adjusting to the awareness of how we must surrender to God’s will for this situation. It doesn’t mean sacrificing the blessing. However it does mean we have to be aware that God’s purpose in this situation takes priority over our desires. That can be difficult when you are reaching for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and only discover if you find it the Lord expects you to use it differently than you had dreamed.

Thus with blessing comes the awesome duty of obedience. Some rebel in such situations and excuse that disobedience for a variety of reasons. As for my wife and I, well we’ll continue between the dawns in faith and trust to the Lord for the new one when he brings it.

WITHIN THE CIRCLES

Each of us has so many circles of lives in which we associate. And our mind forms circles of thought to relate to each circle. Sometimes they overlap or are connected in some way.

If you have too many interconnected ones this it can be like juggling if you want to keep them from being dropped in the process. And even if we were to retreat to some monastery I doubt we could totally avoid all the circles of life.

What we do know is that these are circles that have a form, which isn’t permanent. It has to be maintained. Otherwise the relationship that we are bonded to will fall apart.

But earth is not the only place where circles are created between minds. We do have those circles of a heavenly realm. These extend beyond the predictable domain of thinking we often think represents a circle or are taught in the places where we fellowship.

For example whether one accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior or does not, has nothing to do with him being part of the Trinity. It doesn’t in any way negate the reality of God or his sovereignty over all creation.

But we also understand that the Lord is called in one reference as the Lord of Hosts. Basically meaning that there is a hosts to creation, both in Heaven and Earth.

In this life we see the diversity of creation and know God is very prolific in his expression of his creativity. That is not surprising to me when you are speaking of our divine, heavenly father.

However his creativity isn’t restricted to this life or this planet. Thus there are “circles” of creation in heaven too. We get glimpses of this reality in scripture. There is mention of angels of different types, both the faithful and fallen. In addition there are beings such as seraphim and cherubim. As well as a reference to different kinds of spirits and a whole host of other beings that reside in eternity, along with the “watchers” who apparently have as part of their duty to watch and record our every thought and deed.

Without seeking to get too mystical, I think at times we forget just how many circles to which we belong once we become a born-again “citizen” of eternity. We join, as God has already called us before the worlds were formed, the circles that our his hosts.

We might not be able to see or always know when these hosts interact with our lives, but they know us just the same. And the Apostle Paul does remind us about this heavenly cloud of witnesses that surrounds us.

How easy it is to get so caught up being stress out about the circles of this life and forget the ones to which we belong that are waiting for the day to come when we shall join them. Sometimes it truly does the soul good to step back and remember what awaits and know unlike this life those circles will never be broken or imperfect. May we celebrate the rings of true essence that will be our bonds in eternity more than the ones that shall evaporate with our last heartbeat.

THE COMPANIONSHIP OF STRANGERS

Alone
is a dirge of solitude
and rejection
that casts my soul
into the pit of tortuous reflection.
It is walled
with fun house mirrors,
which distort my sight
ever rending
me a stranger
being victim to its hideous visions
of permanent night.
Alas
have I wallowed
in the mix of sagacious
and vaporous
spiritual goo
haunted by
the specters of uncontrollable tears
who never say boo.

THE ELEGANCE OF ELOQUENCES

Primal thought, that gut reaction is and can be so “beastly” as well as unrefined. It is never pure or matchless. Sometimes without realizing it is simply the mind’s carbon copy of some other thought we heard and filed away.

I recall once when I was in a church service where the music director decided to “compose” a song while singing it for the first time. He might have thought it was an inspired approach, but his song was unfortunately nothing more than some sing song incoherent ramblings that didn’t impress anyone. However given his ultimately fading from the Christian ministry when his fractious ambitions to become a pastor failed, I guess the question of whether God was actually speaking through him was answered.

While I myself am prone towards more verbose forms of expression that doesn’t mean I feel it is always the most eloquent. For myself real eloquence is when others understand what you mean. I plead guilty of having not been as eloquent as I had desired on more than one occasion by such a definition.

Despite the times when we have trouble understanding some passage of scripture I don’t think that has much to do with God’s ability to communicate. I heard a bible teacher once comment that the first rule in reading the scripture is to assume the Lord knows how to talk.

I do wonder at times if some people honestly remember that when they try to convey some scripture’s meaning in a way that produces something totally absurd. When one’s personal bias intrudes upon our eyesight it can be very obvious. Yet so often it seems we want to blame that problem on the Lord. And I don’t really think he appreciates it even if he doesn’t zap us with lightning bolts for such stupidity.

I also appreciate that the call of a preacher isn’t necessarily connected to how great they are as a public speaker. God’s spirit when working through someone called to that office can work his miracles and power whether the person is gifted with flowery language or just speaks in ordinary terms.

That doesn’t mean to me that one can discount when the beauty of the language enhances its expression. It is a work of art some can enjoy more than others.

So I like to celebrate when the duality of beauty is coupled with the power of how it is conveyed so it is fully understood. The impact can be so mesmerizing to the soul and something one will remember for a long time.

God uses such tools to share his revelation. But it is up to us to listen when his voice speaks regardless of the voice box used. It will always come with the eloquence of truth at the core no matter the words used. That is a beauty in itself when understood and enjoyed for its presentation.

I pray we find the elegance that comes from the Lord in all that is spoken. And be able to see when the eloquence is spiritual and not just in words.

UPON THE DAY

As a writer, day dreaming is something that happens without any effort. I’m sure most of us have fantasies, but for one with a proclivity towards story until recreating reality is almost second nature. My mind often drifts into some tale or other version of creativity. And when it does if the process gets consuming enough I literally will block out any awareness of my surrounding. (That isn’t recommended while driving, but I do confess that there are moments when the line of red tail lights in front of me lulls me into a moment of invention.)

Regardless of whether one is a writer or not, imaging and dreaming can still serve a beneficial purpose if properly channel and for the right reason. That is providing one doesn’t allow such dreams to become something one substitutes for reality. Then it becomes a form of denial, which is a vehicle to avoid facing the truth of a given situation.

To strike a balance between the mural of hope and possibilities that sires a willingness to keep trying and also trusting from the times one simply uses a dream to escape misery can be challenging. Sometimes it is great release, but if it becomes to much of habit then it can be more harmful than helpful.

God’s sight from his spirit always begins within our soul. It can blend and twist around reality while adding some aspect or dimension of an ethereal hue. However it is so critical to be able to discern the difference from real inspiration and his genuine voice and the one we conjure for the sake of our own desires.

How do we truly filter out the times it is our heart speaking and not God’s voice? Sometimes it can only happen with simple practice. Others it is a matter of being wiling to ask the difficult question, “what does the Lord really desire in this situation?”

Does that mean that by asking that question as a prayer or petition with real sincerity guarantees we will get the correct answer in every situation? The truth is no. We are still humans and make mistakes. And no matter how hard we try there are times our mortal minds will error in the answers we accept.

Still it is far more fruitful to search earnestly for God’s wisdom and leading. For in doing so we pause to honestly accept that impulse is the path often carries the greatest liability.

May the light of God’s wisdom truly shine into every corner of our thoughts. May it grace us with patience to wait for the right answer. To bless us with the humility to also choose to accept when we make a mistake. And the strength to continue trusting even when our labor seems futile.

Upon the day, we shall walk hand in hand in the radiance of God’s pure grace. Ever allowing the chorus of heaven’s promise drown out the moans and groans of our doubts. I pray that becomes the song we hear the most.

A RAINBOW IN THE STORM

According to scripture God used a rainbow as an image for Noah as a promise he wouldn’t flood the earth again the way he had to destroy the Antediluvian World. And somewhere in the course of time there has evolved a tradition that there is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow providing you could find the end.

I’ve seen a few rainbows in my day. The most vivid and memorable for me took place when my wife and I were in Hawaii. Normally a rainbow is one that only appears as an arch or partial rainbow. In this situation what we was a rainbow that was a full half a circle. We could see both ends practically touching the opposite end of the ground. It truly was very breathtaking. But again for me it was a very rare experience. Although I know I have also had the occasion when I saw a double rainbow. That is when you see two rainbows or parts of rainbow next to each other. Again it isn’t the normal experience.

For all the visual joy a rainbow possesses and the promise of God it is suppose to represent as a rule they are still associated with a time after a storm, instead of something you see actually during a storm. So what am I referring to by a rainbow in the storm? I am speaking of the ability to see God’s promise during a crisis, if only by faith.

That is probably the time we truly need that assurance the most. For when the storm is raging we truly are the most in need of some calm and hope.

To the man or woman of faith then a rainbow can be the memory of promise where we recall a time of another storm and how God watched over us and kept his promise. It can be the rainbow of trust we see with our soul that gives us hope when the storm causes us to want to give up.

With a person who doesn’t trust to the Lord his or her rainbows will have to rely on something other that the Word of God for their memory. Unlike God who is unchanging and faithful trust in any other form of rainbow carries with it uncertainty. The deliverance that came through some past means doesn’t guarantee the same will happen this time.

So unto the follower for Christ the storm can be a time of rejoicing. One where we have a chance to see the Lord once again shine through the storm.

And if by chance this particular storm comes just before we go home to be with the Lord then the rainbow we see in eternity will be even more spectacular than any we could ever imagine in this life. That at least makes looking for the rainbow in each storm so much more comforting than simply looking at the storm and seeing nothing else.

Above all is the joy of knowing no matter what happens the storm will never affect us to the degree it might as long as we have God’s umbrella of forgiveness. And the great thing is that is it available in all kinds of weather. May God grant each of us the sight to see his perfect rainbows in all imperfect storms.

THE THORN OF LONGING

The mind
is a doorway
to other more perfect worlds,
where one can make love
in a pristine cage
and there are no thorns,
which stab
one’s illusions cosmetics.
But at times
we let the fantasy
take seed in our reality,
hoping,
dreaming,
and dutifully praying
that the thorns of our
inner hunger
will not
kill
what we sculpt
as truth’s little god.

THE BANQUET OF YES

In the mind’s house of thought, the perfect visitor is a nod. What a glorious feeling it is to be covered in the trappings of approval. The texture of acceptance, the shear warmth of having a sense of being in the groove of belonging and the heart can throb with a extra satisfying energy of balance.

Thus is the provoking charge of being, which conjures in the mind the spell of rationalization and the quest to find same too often in life. It can occur at work, at home or just about anywhere we frequent.

In most situations the results are predictable since the formula normally depends on th same social math. If you have learned it properly and use the right kind of calculator of performance the sum of one’s actions will have a total desired.

This is of course the anatomy of custom. That quintessence of dew drops in smiles that refresh in an artificial and contrived manner. It isn’t necessarily predicated on any real truth, but more on the dependency of illusion and perception.

While all of that can be essential as a guidepost to life in many places on the planet it shouldn’t be the driving element in a house of worship. The Word of God and his Holy Spirit ought to be the foundation. With the word “ought” being the one emphasized.

Still it is so easy to allow the defining point between God’s spiritual truths and social custom to become blur. One can easily find spiritual life becoming a banquet where we try to feast in a meeting how dominated by those social yeses. It is a very natural habit, but it doesn’t mean it has God approval, which is far more important.

Yet how often are we drawn most to places that appeal best to our need for feeling accept and approved? It is only natural to desire such a choice.

But what if God leads us to a place to serve his purpose where the garden of social blossoms in acceptance have wilted? Can we still find the strength and willingness to obey if there are more thorns than flowers?

Sometimes it is a question we avoid even asking. This can even occur when God’s spirit is tugging at our hearts and opening our eyes to how a given abode of fellowship isn’t the place he seeks for us.

The great joy comes from acceptance that being obedient to God’s will and receiving his sustenance of yes is far more nutritious to the soul than any temporary snack we might assume is best. That can be even more complicated if the place we are to depart is one where we have feasted so often before.

Just as some foods can be healthier for us than others. So there are spiritual morsels that will at times be more fulfilling than with others. I believe God will adjust our palate in due season if we let the flavor be one we taste by his leading. May the Lord grant us the wisdom to know the difference.

EVIDENCES UNSEEN

In then book of Hebrews we are told that part of faith is the “evidence” of what is not seen. There is a prelude to that element, which is the “substance” of things hoped for. Essentially then faith becomes a witness that is seen to reflect what we believe in that isn’t seen.

Yet what so often the thing people end up seeing when it comes to faith? I think too frequently it is words instead of actions. And we sure do love to express our opinion don’t we?

Spirituality and religion in general is something that will summon a host of thoughts and words. Lives are entwined in the eloquence of expression at times. Still that is at times a substitute for the doing part it seems. We are encouraged to “doers of the word and not just hearers.” Only the hearing part is so much easier and talking even easier yet.

The concern is obviously whether words become a substitute for action. Do we end up impressing ourselves with the language of faith to the mutual exclusion of the actions of faith?

I can’t answer that for everyone, but I do ponder the reality. After all you can find a great many people who are willing to pray or be in a place where they can get attention, but to labor where only God sees the effort isn’t often as easy to find volunteers.

Ironically I think at times we end up through non-action with the evidence being as unseen as what we belief in. That to me isn’t the way it was intended to be.

Our hearts are supposed to have hands not just lips. Plus the words of faith do seem to become so much richer when utter in the aftermath of an act of trust rather than before. Although speaking of trusting god as a prelude to action can be inspiring, there are simply some reflections that do not become as clear until that are painted with the brush of experience.

I doubt that will eve be as popular as granted people more time to volunteer to share their opinion that to expect them to volunteer to actually do any work. But for those who do respond and do hear what God is saying the right way, the words that become the final witness to one’s faith truly become so much more eloquent and touching.

Let the fire glow from the soul. Let the eyes see what is from old. And grant the heart to join the mind in a chorus so sublime. Bring it with joy into the moments of leading when the hands become the voice to the world seen.

It really is a celebration. A jubilee in the awakening of God’s form of clarity. That will give faith a special warm during the cold and dark valleys of struggle where we all must venture at times.

May the peace of knowing grace the heat like a mantle of comfort and bring by each fateful step the follower of the lord to a new place of understanding. Rejoice in the gifts unseen that become an evidence in one’s life when one is truly embracing faith as intended.

IN THE BLENDER

Trapped by sight
as the Vickers
of dark and flickering light
bring their
idea of prefect bright
into my journey
lasting
all night.
And often it thus shines
with rays of excuses
so absurd
that I can hardly
swallow
a single, solitary word.
The brew of envy
is often
a dangerous blend
mixing
those moments when
emotions are what we spend.

DINING IN

I enjoy eating out when I have the chance. Although since I am a diabetic and try to watch what I eat that means I’m normally limit in my options to things like salads. Still I do enjoy the times we can go somewhere and sit down and savor the atmosphere and other joys associated with such experiences.

However eating at home has its advantages too. For me the first one is that I don’t have to worry about how I am dressed. The second is that I don’t have to be at the mercy of the waitress or spend a long time waiting to be served my meal.

Those perhaps are trivial issues, but they represent a contrast in many ways in terms of eating choices. Which might seem like a strange top for a blog devoted to spiritual reflections, but that is mainly intended as a lead in to the more soul associated application.

One thing though while on the subject of eating out that gets me is the obvious prejudice my wife and I experience. First is in terms of things like seating. Being more mature and not particularly noteworthy in terms of our appearance so often we ended up being seated way off in some out of the way location even if better seating is available. I guess the waitress assumes that not being among the beautiful set presumes we aren’t smart enough to notice the overt act of bias they practice!

In any event the second annoyance is in the area of when we order things like our drinks. Being a diabetic I stick to diet coke or ice tea as my choice of refreshment. My wife, although being full figured, doesn’t have to use diet products except by choice. Yet if I order a diet coke and she orders a regular drink the server will most of the time try to force the diet coke on her since only being of average weight I don’t appear to need the diet coke. It gets taxing on the senses to constantly cope with such prejudices, but it certainly has taught me a lot about the depth of prejudice there is in that regard.

As to any spiritual application, well for me the thing is God’s word is the bread of life. And we can feast upon it in some house of worship, which might be like eating out. There too we can be forced to deal with temperamental servers who want to decide what to serve us (their biblical interpretations) and even poor service (the I love you to death, but in reality couldn’t care if you live or die types of individuals) when we go to have a spiritual meal.

There are times though when it is good to dine in at home upon God’s word and reflections upon the faith. Without the trappings of distraction sometimes the meal really does taste great and can be so filling.

Of course it means we don’t get a chance to get served. Or in terms of biblical elements that can mean not letting someone else do our thinking for us. Sometimes that is more refreshing than others. And that isn’t meant as a criticism of attending a house of worship. But just as with regular meals we have to allow ourselves the spiritual nutrition to take place regularly and not just on Sundays. Hopefully that becomes a habit we all enjoy.

CHARTERING THE INCENSE OF PETITION

Is prayer a license for the soul? That depends I imagine if you wish to regard it as something the lord hears. To me God hears every prayer. Even if he doesn’t respond the way we want, it doesn’t mean they aren’t heard.

Thus they come to heaven like an incense. A true prayer arises from the depths of the soul. It is an aroma precious because it comes from our inner most witness. The very essence of who we really all.

So it should be truly something natural, something that is both a search for answers and petition for aid, but also a praise. Yet so often I know for me I get reduce into too often taking the prayer time for granted. I forget who I am praying to and thus it becomes far too routine.

I think God understand that aspect of our humanness. And that is why at times it is so important to allow ourselves to breath and be a reclusive in thought that our minds are souls are truly prepared on all levels to approach the throne of heaven.

Honestly to me is the cornerstone of such petitions. There is no value in pretending or trying to excuse our shortcomings.

For myself I know there are times when I come to God’s throne of grace fill with guilt over some time I have failed. So my mind attempts to come to terms by excusing my behavior.

However as I go through the exercise of attempting to excuse my actions, God’s spirit will sometimes echo in my thoughts the simple truth of my behavior. There are many reason, but so much of it is rooted in sin.

So while I keep going through the motions for a while. that still small voice will keep tugging at me and repeating the truth in that one word. Then eventually it settles in and I slowly come to acceptance of the truth.

With God’s help I can smell the true scent of my incense and embrace where in my soul it was chartered and why. Afterwards comes the soothing sweet refrain from forgiveness and the rejoice over God’s grace.

How said when we let the incense from our deepest more guarded part of our essence is tainted by other than a willingness to let it rise by God’s will and desire. It is to deny and deprive oneself of the richness of appreciating what forgiveness truly brings to the soul.

When it become the fragrance of our lives then our nostrils that touch our soul can with quiet dignity and grace join the apostle Paul and accept how we too are the greatest of sinners.

May we all find the aroma from within to have the scent most acceptable to our lord and the strength to accept it as he intends. Peace only comes with the understanding.

CLOUDS, WINGS AND THORNS

I have come to the painful conclusion that one can’t fly without any pain. And it seems that the higher or longer the flight the great the risk of storms.

I am referring to the area of spiritual flights and not by any airplane. For our soul will at times be caught up by the power of God’s breath through his holy spirit. It will take us by those wings of faith into the reminder clouds of his presence and inspiration.

Yet one can’t take such journeys with an unblemished conscious. There are the thorns of pride and pain that dig at us with Satan’s help to try and keep our flight from being stable and as beneficial as possible.

For me this often means days, which are more like a rollercoaster than anything purely a soothing balm of revealing. It just seems the closer I get to touching some “cloud” of illumination with the Lord’s help that Satan will stir up some adversary to distract and corrupt the journey.

God doesn’t always remove the thorns. He instead gives the strength to endure the pain and find peace in his higher purpose.

The other day I was at work and generally I have several hours of monitoring the phones, which often don’t ring for quite a while. During the hiatus of routine I devote the time to whatever writing the Lord inspires. And this particular day I felt lead to work on a given piece of writing.

But the whole day was dogged by an incredible number of emergencies. So it provide a continuous thicket of thorns that intruded on my flight.

That night I return home emotionally and physically drained. Yet the thorns didn’t stop. They just took a different form.

However later, there came a precious lucid moment in the midst of the angst and I touch a very special cloud that meant more than any of the thorns. It wasn’t heaven, but it did help to revive my ailing spirit and see the thorns and those who created them for their true identity.

The next day was more balance. My journey not quite as high, but the thorns not quite as stinging either.

What I rejoice over is how the Lord brings into my waking those little lights of calm assurance that replace the sadness. At times it also grants me a sense of vision over how God deals with those who serve as thorns.

Eventually like all thorns, they end up being consumed by God’s judgment fire. Too bad in this life they have no idea they are “dead souls.” However I appreciate that if they did know they might not be a thorn in the first place.

SPENT AND SERVED

I am
a contusion of tales
the quintessence of blend
from those moments when
life both arises
or might descend
and my treasures
become something
only my soul
can spend.
It is the jewel flashes
when time’s gems
are cut
by a divine plan
that form
my memory’s necklace
worn
whether it shines
or shimmers
through the labors of my hand.

YIELDING

This last week my wife and I had to deal with this one company that supposedly exists to service the needs of people in a special way. They don’t do it for free, but the idea is they try to provide this help to those who find themselves seeking such assistance.

I’m not going to make this posting “personal” by talking just about this company, but the idea is that with this service they try and cultivate and image of being “sensitive” and “compassion” in their customer service. Ironically my wife and I found ourselves unexpectedly in need of their services some time ago and I felt they did an adequate job for the cost. Of course the key word in all of that was “cost.” Basically they were being paid so they cared.

However last week I had to contact them because I needed their help in a way that was different than usual. Part of their daily function had ended up unintentionally in violated my rights in a project I was undertaking. The remedy wasn’t a difficult one or one they couldn’t have accomplished without difficulty, but the problem was they weren’t being “paid” to render assistance. It was more an issue of a moral issue of doing what was proper and ethical. Naturally cooperation wasn’t exactly what I would describe as their response.

While I am still exploring ways of solving this problem it did amaze me that people who were so callous and genuinely indifferent to people’s needs would pursue some a career where it was expected. It just seem that they would be better suited to a job where such elements aren’t necessary. At least that was my feeling on the subject.

In the spiritual realm, we do face a similar issue at times. And it can be so difficult to yield our will to the Lord’s wisdom when our ego gets involved.

I think back to the times when I ended up dealing with someone who was a pastor, but didn’t honestly seem to have a pastor’s heart or sense of love or compassion. The individual had a lot of abilities and no doubt would have been very good in some capacity that serve the lord, but didn’t involve ministering to people. Normally I discovered that such people seldom remained pastors for very long. Too many conflicts and moments when their indifference and lack of love become obvious generally seemed to end up with them pursuing a different career.

Above all, I think the Lord doesn’t call us to any task unless we are first gifted and anointed to such a calling. It isn’t an issue of what the calling happens to be, it is simply an issue of accept his will.

That at times means yielding one’s ego and accepting that the best in our situation is to serve the Lord in a position that isn’t in the limelight. We are after all to be obedient to his will. If we are faithful at whatever his our true calling even if it is in the shadows. then in eternity it will shine as a reward.

May God grant us each the heart to yield to his perfect choice. And the joy to be warmed by his blessing regardless of what the world sees.

CAROUSELS AND ROLLER COASTERS

Up and down, up and down or the other way around. It would be wonderful if life was never like that, but I know at least mine runs like that too often.

In that sense though even when it doesn’t have peaks and valleys the level domain might be easier traversing, but I never end up feeling I’m honestly making much progress even though the journey is easier. Thus during the times when I’m on some experiential carousel where I feel my life is going nowhere, but a circle I feel most incline to question the point of it all.

So I can’t way, which is truly better. To have to plod through some roller coaster experience where one season you wander a very long valley. It is where you end up feeling sorry for yourself or the rare occasions. Or when you make it to a euphoric mountain top and then live with the worry about how long it will last.

Are those a better state for a life of faith that the struggles that aren’t as demanding or taxing on the senses, but just don’t seem to have any point? Those are questions each person struggles with in his or her own way.

I’m sure there is also the abiding question too of why can’t we have it all? I’m speaking of a carousel ride that is pleasurable and meaningful, which also gives us a sense of purpose? Basically it is to question why does it seem God never makes things easy for us.

What makes it even more complicated is the times we seen somebody who does seem to have it easy. That doesn’t make our mood any better. It just gives us a reason to sit on that carousel and feel even more sorry for ourselves.

Routine thus is the fodder for carousel moments. We can also see where crisis and unexpected blessings the equation for roller coaster experiences. One thing we do know is that we can’t control any of them sufficiently to make sure they happen at our pace or desire.

There are those in the world that offer up various teachings to try and suggest we can find a path free of either type of experience. While it might or might not have merit in reality, what we do know is if we chose to follow the Lord, we will have a certain number of “tickets” in our lives for both experiences.

I’m not saying we are necessarily going to have a reason to look forward to such challenges. But they are points on the map of life, which can’t be avoided. No matter how long God grants us to live there is a chance that some distant destination of our experiences will bring us again to one of these tickets. Age doesn’t have a whole lot to do with such challenges and neither does how long one is a Christian. You don’t get any “eternal brownie” credits that exempts you from future moments.

Instead we can accept such moments. Rejoice that we are still in God’s will and grace and most of all look to see the scenery of insight that the Lord wishes our eyes to know from each ride.

BY A NOTE

By a note
I am captured
and lifted
upon a melodious flying scroll,
ferried
to a realm
of lullabies and screams
where I am reborn
as well as die
in the same heartbeat.
There awaits
for me
an orchestra
composed of naked
yellow macabre mannequins
who play
sorrow’s symphony
till I bleed
all the injustice questions
from my soul.