RIPPLES

The night
is utterly immersed
in a mood rich sea of consuming crests
pulling my soul in riptides of confusion
without a single wave of profound
to give the flow any sanity or direction.

Slowly, I let my very essence
get lost in the visions of rhythmic swells in solitude and silence,
while being alone of spirit and any companion sense of touch.

But, I feel no panic in the hint
of a muted lure from that heartbeat,
instead sensing a burgeoning calm to disquiet
where my limp imagination feigns to soar.

Then come the lurid splash of swelling invention
as my numb and paralytic pen
revives by the stir
from what my poet's compass knows
moves beneath a moment's surface.

Each second becomes lucid droplets so refreshing —
ripples in my aquatic flood of fancy's former stagnant dreams
till I conjure a sail of wonder
to guide me to some distant isle
where the muse's waiting fertile fields
will again bring blossoms of healing
unto my impotent fingers.

TALES TO LIVE WITH

There are always the inspiration stories where somebody overcomes some major adversity. They are a hero whose story reaffirms the sense of right and justice.

And then there are the fantasies we create about other heroes. They are the good guys who defeat the villains despite facing incredible odds. These stories always conclude with a happy ending, no matter how many times we hear them, we still love them.

While most of us will enjoy stories of courage and victory, they may not always apply to our personal lives. We might not ever find ourselves in the position to save the world or shine in a way that our deeds end up on the news.

So being anonymous and unseen by the world is probably more common than the times when people get singled out for their efforts. That doesn't keep our minds from daydreaming, but it just doesn't ever touch us in terms of where we really live.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that there are plenty of times in my life when I have felt a sense of question as to if anyone would ever care or even know of my struggle. Admittedly it is hard to expect that type of reaction when so many are asking the same question.

I haven't brought myself to the point of needing to brag about what I was doing in an effort to impress. There was a time when I tried, but it never seemed to do any good. The person I wanted to impress was the type that you couldn't impress. They were so absorbed in their own lives they could never acknowledge your efforts regardless of what you did.

Somewhere in all that silliness, I came to a point of appreciating that the most important thing was knowing that God is witness to all. It really doesn't matter if anyone in this life knows of my struggle or efforts as long as the Lord knows about it.

And to that end, I draw comfort from the stories of the ordinary men in the bible. Not the ones who are larger than life and lead whole nations, but the person who lived a seemingly ordinary life. They give me hope for if God knows their challenges and problems, then he knows mine too.

Perhaps it isn't a story that everyone will care about. But to me they are real stories about real people and embracing them make them for me stories I can live with. There might not be any incidents of somebody saving the world, but they did endure despite all the problems that come in one's life.

It is enough for me since I have accepted that I too follow the path of the ordinary. My labor to try and be a little god ended some time ago. Today, I'm just happy and grateful for my daily bread and hopefully more times of smiles than tears.

I pray the peace of being enters into the lives of all who reach for it. And to give a joy where perhaps none existed before.

NEW VERSES NEW

Isn't it so interesting how if you put the word, "new" on a product or something else it gets our attention? I'm not always sure that we in reality should use the word new when it is applied to something changed. But that happens quite often.

Today there are a great many churches that seem to want to use the word new as part of their name. Or if not new, then some other word that implies what they do is innovative and different from tradition.

Of course the reality is that when you do start something that is different from what came before, there will be a point reached where it will be copied and no longer unique or new. I can think of a number of times when some fellowship was created by people that were unhappy with a given tradition or denomination.

Later, naturally, they too fell prey to the dynamics of such transitions. They would create their own traditions and rituals and before long they weren't really any different than what came before them.

Only to the people who were involved they insisted what they were doing was more truthful or obedient to the Lord. Whether it real is, I can't say. I just know that human nature is such that replacing one tradition with another seldom seem to actually purge a given circle of believers of the problems that existed in a given denominations approach.

To me, God's truths are timeless. And one's relationship with Christ ought to be focused on the relationship and not any particular group of traditions that embellish the relationship.

Simply taking a give group of traditions and giving them a different name to me doesn't actually change anything, even though too many defend that it does. We are, after all, souls in need of a savior and not a divine taskmaster.

What you get when you focus on traditions instead of faith and letting God's spirit do the leading is the subtle lure of regarding keeping the ritual as being an expression of faith. That can lead to going through the motions of worshipping without the passion of faith or the flame burning in the heart to seek the Lord just out of love.

Traditions are not by themselves bad. But if they become a substitute for faith then they can be harmful no matter how new we claim they happen to be.

Moving along God's highway requires the use of whatever vehicle of faith the Lord grants us to use to travel. Putting a new paint job on the vehicle might make it look different, but if we don't concern ourselves with keeping the engine of the soul tuned up, then it might be nothing more than beauty without substance or another version of self-righteousness.

Perhaps life will never afford us all the newness we crave. But there are times when new truly means respective that God grants us the new as it will benefit us in our relationship with him.

CHANGING DREAMS

Hush my naked heart and see
beyond the looming pillars of eternity.

The words are an exposed vision once buried
within the gossamer sarcophagus of my shear sanity
about an enchanted mirage conjured through a windswept brush of fancy's gale
taking me to forbidden isles of lucid whispers,
so jeweled of crystalline truths and luscious eloquence —
floating upon quixotic ripples in a sea of starburst melodies
seeping into my frail and begging senses with a surreal song
till I can't help, but tremble from a stunned sip of life's sweetest nectar.

Then, when a single heart stroke climaxes in a thunderous shudder
leaving me utterly soaked with a transcending sweat of spiritual elixir,
an awakening radiates from the ambrosia of a visionary Elysium dew,
surrendering me to new paralysis of mind and soul, till I am reborn.

Becoming a mere pulsating wisp of greater reality —
a weightless, phantom feather floating towards unborn horizons
eagerly joining a different mural of luminosity.

Despite the myths I have feared, my journey never kills, nor stains,
for I am now a phoenix rising from discovery's golden ashes
where I can swim the light, heretofore unknown —
submerged into the mercurial refuge of my formerly veiled essence.

Moving so effortlessly, along the path that was once a phobia,
bliss an opiate wondrously mesmerizing and addictive
as I imbibe infatuation's sway that I have learned to worship and call,
changing dreams.

TRANSITORY YAWNS

We have those times when life has its lulls of listlessness. One can never walk the mountaintop or stay in the valley without a pause. Of course, I think we would naturally crave the mountaintop more and are sad when it passes. Whereas, when one crawls through the valley of shadows and trials they always seem to last way too long.

It is so much easier to welcome the end of misery than the conclusion of happiness. That is never something we regard as a blessing. At least I don't feel it is seen as such.

Still, it does fade and even bad times can pass. Although there are times, such as with a life-threatening illness when it only fades at the grave. Somehow that is not quite the same in terms of seeing the misery come to an end as having a chance to soar among the clouds another time.

As Christians though death is only seen as a beginning. It is a chance to travel to our real home and begin our real life in the presence of our Lord and Savior. That is hardly a time of sadness, except to those left behind who feel the pain of loss.

But in between those moments we come to the times when there is a point of quiet. It is a welcome respite from all the uncertainty and problems of a valley. It might not be quite as thrilling as a mountain top, but we are at least in a time when life is quiet just the same.

This is naturally a time of replenishing, healing and reflection. It is a rest stop, not a sanctuary. And it is not a point of reward where you have arrived to a level of spiritual maturity where you get to retire from the walk of faith.

I've known a few people who viewed life in such levels. They actually looked at their lives and the point they reached as proof of God's blessing. Which is fine, for life is God's blessing, but it doesn't mean he suddenly excluded us from any future trials.

Yet, in the minds and spirits of those I've seen with such attitudes they actually convinced themselves that trials are a think of the past. That somehow their times of problems and struggle are gone forever. Yep, it is the essence of spiritual stupidity.

Life, fleeting as it is, will always change. God will not spare us the fire, nor ice, nor the times of quite. But we must keep moving, never assuming any place we reach in our thinking is a castle where we can live happily ever after. Many a soul has lusted for that kind of dream life. Some even conjure it through denial.

That works right up to the point when the next storm hits. Drenched, the world becomes a far more brutal brush against the senses. But hopefully we move ahead and learn instead of retreating to a closet and pretending reality doesn't exists.

And if by chance we are spending too much time napping, accepting it isn't the way life will always be is a good start to renewal. Then the next time we can hopefully reach of point of yawns and see it as rest, not reward.

TRIPS AND FLIPS

I never had much chance to do a lot of traveling in my life. I doubt that I'm alone in that reality. On the few occasions that I have been somewhere new or different, I did enjoy myself, but still also looked forward to returning home.

Being in familiar places can be a source of security. We might all love to travel, but would we want to do nothing, but travel? I guess that would depend on the person.

I have known a few people who have had the chance to spend a great deal of time traveling. They did enjoy it, but admitted like with so many things if you do it long enough it sort of becomes boring. After a while the novelty wears off and even something new begins to look to much like the last place. Which is probably why after a while a lot of people crave for somewhere stable in which to live.

What is the wind that stirs our spirits to what to reach out to other places? Is it curiosity or do we simple find ourselves searching in hope of finding something that might not actually be there. I can't answer that for others.

And I certainly am not suggesting that travel is a bad thing. Learning how life is different in different parts of the world can expand our appreciation for life in general.

But while it might be a good thing to travel on one hand, if we only crave it does this in some way say there is something about our life we don't like? Again I doubt I can answer the question for everyone else.

What I'm speaking of more than anything is how change is a variable in life. We often need new experiences, hopefully of a positive nature, to awaken our senses when things are too familiar.

However, what can be a risk is when we confuse a need for change with other problems. When we ignore some flip of thoughts that makes us look at life differently and perhaps see with new eyes some part of our life we thought was okay and in reality isn't.

I think God understands what we truly need. But sometimes we are such victims of denial and so totally blind to our own real desires, we hide from what will truly satisfy.

So we travel in terms of experiences. Finding some amusement park to visit, but because we sought mere pleasure and didn't ask the tough questions about what really will satisfy the process ends up being less than satisfying.

I feel God will touch our lives and guide us in the right direction, but only when we stop kidding ourselves. He will not take us somewhere we are too afraid to visit.

But he will wait and at times allows us to go through certain experiences to help inspire us to go where we should have gone all along. Sometimes this a process that can take a lifetime to occur. Hopefully, we will be ready to listen when God wants to take us where we have never been.

FINDING

There are so many levels and plateaus of discovery in life. And none of us will explore them all. It is difficult at times to come to some particular place of epiphany or insight and share it in a way others will always appreciate.

The more one travels the paths of spiritual illumination the greater can be the risk of facing such complications. That is for me because the spiritual realm is more about things relative to the soul and thus not of this world.

All this to me means is that the territory is not as easy to define in terms others will agree. And if you can't see the same location it makes it even harder.

God can guide us through such understanding by the power of his Holy Spirit. But Satan does carry his version of light that can confused.

It really doesn't matter if you do know the truth from the Lord if others refuse to accept it for a variety of reasons. Still, it can be most edifying and that in itself can be a blessing.

What I've always found most interesting is how many times the Lord guides the most unexpected sources down his paths of shining. He doesn't always choose what would seem to be an obvious candidate.

That isn't to say a pastor or other voice for the Lord can't be legitimate, but God doesn't restrict himself in all cases to those who bear the title Reverend or Doctor. I believe it does use that avenue, but does only use such methods.

Of course if one isn't of that usual forms of religiosity such as a seminary it is at times less likely the person will necessarily be viewed as credible. And one does have to make allowances for those whose heart might be in the right place, but God didn't not call to a given role of speaking for him.

For me the essence lies in whether the person truly is being faithful to wanting to make the Lord the center of their calling. You can have a great talent for public speaking or some other gift of dealing with people, but it doesn't necessarily mean God anointed to represent him.

In the end, does what the person find truly agree with what God has already said? Can it be said to conform to his reveal word?

That isn't an easy question to answer because I've have heard so many people talk about listening to some person preach and they say the individual teaches the bible. However, simply quoting scripture or ending up with the person giving a wrong meaning of God's word doesn't qualify as meaning the speak for the Lord.

Beyond that to me is the issue of whether person spends their time more concerned with building numbers for his church than building souls. God prefers the latter since Jesus is suppose to be the Lord of the harvest.

MY LITTLE SPACE

Some only see a chamber of four simple walls and one window,
but they are for me a hiding space of limitless boundaries,
a figment forged bridge to the lucid marshlands of enchantment and ecstasy
where I soothe my weary soul till it touches tales of clouds and stars
others never hear or feel from the sensory drone of alabaster plaster.

Sleep is the only hunger visitors feed in my little space
as it lies passed the nurturing shelter of our home's kitchen and tables,
who never sense in the confines seen any of its tranquil tug as refuge's allure
yielding inwardly, so intensely, a calming requiem to life's fractured flickers
burdening breath between morn and dusk.

It is where I alone have been able silence the dogs of distraction
and create worlds and life more vibrant and alive
than the what exists outside my window.

So, I joyfully tolerate their dazed looks of huh?
Smiling politely while sharing my inventive utopia masquerading as a room
gleefully exhaling later the moans of lament
silently and joyously taking the muse's hand
till I am lost in paradises residing outside any hour's fret and fury.

But most of all, searching eyes never cleansed by fantasia's wash
vainly peek with their spiritual detachment into the smallness
fathoming only the functional charade of a study,
which I cherish as the lost horizon of incarnate dreams.

I smile at their blissful ignorance because the lock and key
exists,
only between my ears.

BLESSED IS

The idea of being blessed means so many different things to different people. In the days of the Old Testament, blessings in the eyes of the people of Israel often was related to this life. We see an aspect of this in the story about Job, even though we aren't actually give a time frame for when Job lived. However, to the people of Israel they would have easily related to blessings being something that you experience in this life.

All that changed later. When Jesus was among us, he gave the concept I feel more of a spiritual aspect. Meaning, it just was associated with this life or how much you owned or possessed. Not that those didn't matter in any way, merely that we were supposed to appreciate that true life and blessings will ultimately be part of eternity. Which given the fact of the number of people who suffer in this life is from my point of view a good source of promise.

None of that in any way impacts our desires. While knowing one is saved is very important to anyone who follows the Lord, it doesn't keep us from wanting out of life all the usual blessings associated with possessions.

There are those who take both sides of this issue to extremes. You have the ones who would try to live without any material goods. They wall themselves away in some place apart from the real world. Whether this actually is beneficial is something you would have to ask those who practice such form of sacrifice.

The other side of the coin is the person who believes in one of the many different believes about prosperity. There are so many versions it would be hard to give them all credit, nor would I want to. I think they all are rooted in the view to some degree that you can have your Heaven on earth.

In both cases though I think the primary focus is related in some way to materialism, either for or against. Which again to me only makes possessions in some way the issue with regards to blessings. For even if you are abstaining from there, doesn't your idea of a blessing in part relate to the fact you claim not to need such worldly goods? Just my view naturally.

Blessings are and always will be a source of joy if they are properly appreciated and understood. What we think of as a blessing that leads to spiritual pride is corruptive and not really a blessing. That can be very difficult to give it up if you honestly crave what you sense is a blessing, even if it is in fact leading you away from the Lord.

In the midst of define what we think is a reward or other deserved plus in our lives, can we stop to appreciate what God gives us that can't be measure by the size of our bank account? It can be difficult to see spiritual knowledge or the fruit of the spirit as the blessing they are if we are only able to measure things in dollars and sense.

I only pray we all find the eyes to see when God is touching us for the good even if that good is to serve him and not our own desires. Sometimes we can miss what is so precious if we aren't looking in the right direction.

AN URGENCY IN SIGHS

Crisis stabs the heart in merciless thrusts without any concern over our situation. And while the drums of circumstance pound their beat against our hearts, our mind's voice creates its own rhythm. Part of which can be the steady pace of questions starting with "why me."

I can't imagine there are too many people who haven't asked that question at one point in his or her live. We all know problems and difficulties happen to everyone. But it doesn't mean we don't mind if on a given situation the cup passes from our lips to another person.

I don't think that is a case of selfishness, it is more an instinct of survival from the pain. When the emergencies come too often it can definitely burden use with an ever greater sense of frustration.

Even though we survive such perils in most cases, it doesn't make us look forward to the next valley. Some will hate that possibility so much they will grab at any map they think will give them a detour from such situations.

Of course, such maps are often counterfeit. They are peddled by the messengers of dreams. Sometimes they can be more credible than others, but not truly offers a shield that will make a person invincible, no matter how much they insist their approach is flawless.

And if this particular peddler claims their map comes from God, we may, if we are creatures of faith and light, eagerly grasp for it. Being a Christian doesn't exclude a person having the same desires and dreams as anyone else.

But no matter the shield offered in terms of being covered in scriptural verses of promise or some metaphysical ramblings,, or dripping in the ink of positivism, none of it will ever take away the winds of tomorrow. They will blow as unpredictable as always and touch each life no matter how much we wish to avoid them.

We may not be able to avoid them. We may not even be able to find a path where there are fewer valleys than a path we prefer, but it doesn't mean we can't learn.

There are times when the soul must pause. We need the urgency of sighs to remind us of what is really important in life.

Eternity is the presence that will warm in such moments. That breath of what isn't mortal when inhaled into our lungs can refresh in such a special way if we grant it the chance.

That is the blessing that truly comes from the tears. A drought in such of sorrow's dew can be done through force of will. Some call it maturity. But if it deprives us of our vision of heaven are we really that mature?

In the heart we feel the witness of God in such times. Hopefully it will be a stroke that heals and lifts rather than leaves us cold.

WISHAVEN

Riding upon the torrid slipstream of fancy
heart ablaze with the dueling moods
of flight and flare,
we sojourn into the fleeting lairs of stardust
imagined
where stars and planets
are painted
like a tattoo
within our secret dream coffers.

Stellar cosmic figments
form in our quivering quintessence
as we are transplanted to a mythical pool of lucid tales
when our mind immerses itself in a swirling aqua
aware the dark miasma of vine and limb surrounding
that threatens to strangle the moment's magic.

Still, we enrich ourselves
in the soothing tranquility of that pool's beguiling
joined by the alabaster pixies
summoned from our childhood visions
which were sculpted in a nightlight's world of innocence.

Briefly at peace
beyond reality's brutal talons
savoring the soothing blue baptismal of conjured endearment
feeling so safe and alive in the euphoria called,
Wishhaven.

TODAY'S SWEAT

I work for a company that provides a service. And like so many companies in such industries the one thing you know is that your customers never have long memories. If they have a problem it doesn't matter how long you provided them good service, the thing they remember the most is that problem.

So you can never bank on past effort to spare you from the consequences of a current problem. It might give you a slight degree of bargaining when they are upset, but you can live on passed glories.

Fame in this life is fleeting for the most part regardless of your career path. We are always more inclined to remember the current winner of some championship than the past. Former heroes will always take a back seat to the present. This is a fact of life that I doubt will ever change.

The good news is that God does remember yesterday. Not the sin, for that is forgiven in Christ, but our acts of faith are always recorded by the recording angel.

It doesn't matter if nobody sees what you do, it doesn't matter who knows or doesn't know, for the Lord knows and that is really what counts. Only human pride doesn't always look at it that way.

How often does our pride get in the way of our faithfulness? We allow the need for approval and attention to interfere with the focus of our real vision.

So we get trapped in the vicious cycle of trying to do what God wants, but at the same time craving some form of reward. Such in the reality of human existence.

As of late I have begun this new venture of obedience where what I am doing is not seen by others. Yet, I know God sees it. And for me at this point it is enough.

I can't say I wouldn't appreciate the occasional pat on the back, but I just find it comforting to know that God is witness to my labor, both good and bad. Grace abounds, but so does the simple joy of knowing I did what I felt the Lord asked me to do.

I can't say I do it perfectly, just that I try to be faithful in the charge. Does that mean I never have the moments when I get discouraged by the absence of any witnesses. No, it doesn't mean that.

Somehow though, there is a strange sense of contentment that sweeps over the soul when one is feeling a balance in terms of obedience and the distractions of life. I just have seen the times when people out of balance have a whole in their heart from such problems.

They seldom seem to connect the relationship between the doing for the Lord and doing for approval. Without seeing what is eternal clearly how can you really know what is only meant for this life and means nothing in Heaven?

MOMENTARY WINGS

How often it is easy to create the illusion of being spiritual without it actually being influenced by the presence of the Holy Spirit in a person's life. One can go to church, become a member, serve in many ways and even be regarded as a person of faith without being born again.

True, in terms of trusting God, if you aren't born again in terms of having the Holy Spirit in one's life being active in a church might seem less likely. Still there are plenty of people who honestly have reasons for participating in a church without it having anything to do with being a Christian.

I was in one such church, a rather large one that was associated with a given denomination. To be a member of the church's board was regarded by some as a form of status.

Thus people were chosen for this supposedly prestigious situation not because they were called of God, but because they were good and social and political tactics. Did any of that require one to be born again? Not really.

There is reference in the scriptures to the issue of being baptized with the Holy Spirit. And countless people have interpreted that to mean different things from speaking in tongues to a sign of God's approval.

But for me the thing that is truly important is whether or not such a baptism affects one in terms of one's values and desires. I'm not speaking of becoming sinless. However, I am speaking of the idea of how such an experience affects one sense of appreciation for the reality of God and of Jesus as Lord and Savior.

It isn't hard to notice those who are baptized in their heart. They almost always are touch in a way that finds joy in the simple act of serving God out of love. There isn't the need for boasting or drawing attention to oneself. Instead the focus is on wanting to please the Lord on some level the person can understand.

In a church setting such hearts concentrate and seeking God. Serving him is out of obedience and not a need for approval or attention.

And in the process, the concentration on complaining about what you don't like fades in terms of importance. That is because the heart is directed towards the Lord.

When a pastor isn't baptized of the heart the same process takes place. They focus so often on control to maintain their leadership. Things like church growth are often preeminent. And so often the preaching will center around sin. People are "brow beat" into submission for the sake of control.

Faith and grace just get lost as messages. Which can be because the voice doing the preaching truly doesn't have the inner witness from God's spirit to direct the message in a different direction. That perhaps is the sadness detour of them all.

LIFE IN THE NARROWS

At the time of writing this, Christmas is only a couple of days away. My family is busy preparing for a new experience of celebrating in a new house and a family that we didn't have last year.

Somewhere in all of that is the gift exchanges. That means more to some than others. And I don't know too many people that don't enjoy getting presents regardless of the saying that it is better to give than received. (You have to wonder how much we really do take that saying to heart at times. But that is for a different posting I suppose.)

My son the other day was lamenting how he always had trouble figuring out what to get me for Christmas. I've always felt it was rather a mute subject in some ways since there have been some years he didn't even do anything for one reason or another.

But as I sat there it did occur to me that in all honesty, there isn't that much I care about in terms of possession. I don't say that to impress or say it is a good thing, just a fact of life in my case.

The more I reflected on it the more I realized just how simple of a life I really live. It basically comes down to the things I do because I knew the Lord wants me to and the things I do for the sake of survival. Hardly what one would call being the life of the party.

Yet, I don't feel that living a life in the narrow is one filled with unhappiness. I'm not depressed by the simplicity, just not filled with the need to enlarge my life with a lot of added distractions.

While I'm not suggesting this is a way of life everyone should live, I do find it interesting how by staying in the narrows, which I feel is God's will for my life at this time, there are just so many things I don't end up worrying about. In fact the things that do cause stress more often are related to those I have in my charge as a father, husband and grandfather.

I appreciate how some would regard such existence as boring or void of the experience that all crave in dreams. However, it seems with so many that I talk to the pursuits they do have as a form of pleasure all end up being flawed to some degree.

I think there are times when God wants to keep our lives in the narrows. It helps to keep in focus what really counts.

And central to that will always be the Lord. The more calm and free of distraction a life becomes that is trusting in God, the more one will end up seeing the Lord in all things.

How often people attempt to inspire that view while clinging to all their toys and games. They want balance without truly being willing to set aside what is a burden, but they see as a form of pleasure. Once and a while though, the heart and soul will be touch by the simple and sublime rather than the frenzy of appeasing some fleeting desire or passion.

WINTER'S BREATH

My heart's blanket of summer's sizzling visions
slowly unravels like a frayed old comforter
when the frazzle from a January morning's mood icebergs
clogs my veins and otherwise soothing amplitude of calm,
clashing with my serenity
in a frigid, inner cacophony of moans and curses
over the sense of being entombed
by the display of an ice box's claustrophobia in wintry confinement
where I see a world, so cold, barren and paralyzed of vitality,
bereft of June's vibrant hues in aliveness.

I feel bathed in the chilled and frozen catatonic
dull shades of alabaster and ebony
where wind's fickle artist carves
those bizarre drift statues and macabre ice castles.

Then I kiss the morning foreboding freeze with a smile
though I see only a harsh and motionless domain
letting its looming tales of glacier chills
and worries that snowmen may secretly
be sub-zero wizards waiting to turn me into an icicle zombie
strum upon my spirit
till I see that one golden ray of warm sunlight's promise
bringing reminders of a different waiting horizon
unmolested by the numbing prickle
felt by
winter's breath.

LOST LOVES

I live in Southern California and have for most of my life. There are so many places over the years that I visited that held a special place in my heart. What made them special too me was the atmosphere and ambience. That is to say, they exuded a special quality of spiritual energy that left me with some great memories.

But the one reality is that things seldom stay the same. And on many occasion the very thing that inspired and fuel my love for given location died when it changed.

So often the change was to take a place that could touch the heart with serenity or peace and commercialize it. Predictably money was far more important than any other priorities.

But frequently in the process of trying to capitalize on what gave a place its special allure and appeal, the commercialization ended up killing its charm. Which I think is primarily because they honestly didn't understand what it was that made that given place special.

What I do know is how often the feelings and passions that swirled in my soul die when the energy fled a given place. There is just something truly tragic about when the intimacy of a given experience is lost. It just never seems the same as if you can never recapture it.

The one good thing I do enjoy is knowing that this isn't true of one's relationship with the Lord. From time to time it is easy to lose the connection of faith and spirit. There are all kinds of reasons, including the simple reality that we are human and easily side tracked. It means to find oneself feeling a separation from one's spiritual life.

However, God is longsuffering and compassionate. There are those who suggest that this constitutes some kind of unpardonable sin if we fall away from the faith. Such people will make a person feel like there is never a chance of ever returning to the Lord.

The good news is that as long as we seek the Lord, he will be there. One can't presume upon the grace of God by thinking you can treat the Lord with disrespect for his sovereignty.

But if in one's heart as only we can be honest with ourselves, the desire is there to seek the Lord no matter how far we have drifted, he will be there for us. And the best part is that unlike human experiences, a love of God can be the same. Perhaps different in terms of our understanding, but it can be regained.

Satan will always seek to discourage and tell us we have goofed up so badly, we have n chance for salvation. It is such terrible tragedy when anyone is used of the devil to perpetuate that idea.

We can go beyond such lies, no matter how badly we think we have failed the Lord. The only failure that truly can prevent our reclaiming a lost love of the Lord is to not try.

UPON THE GUIDING WAY

I recently took up riding a bicycle on days off from my regular routine. What has made this choice extra appealing was the bike path reasonably close to my house. It follows the path of this river, which for the most part is a riverbed without a lot of water.

But the area surrounding the riverbed is very scenic in parts. So for over seven miles I can peddle and enjoy the lush and diverse surroundings. Ones that have a wonderful soothing effect on my spirit.

Adding to this is the ability to use my small radio to augment the serenity with some of my favorite music. It keeps me tethered to the real world, but at the same time able to see a world apart of all my cares. For a short couple of hours I am alone along a path where cars can't intrude and at the times I ride there are few other travelers.

How much like my real life this journey has often seemed to be. I am alone for the most part of the time. I really have never been one for crowds. And I have hardly been popular either.

So being on this bike path to me so far away from others is not something I dread, but instead enjoy. Not that I hate the company of others, just that most of the time it hasn't always been a pleasant experience.

Out among the array of a natural setting, my thoughts often take on a more spiritual quality. I see in the harmony and quiet the hand of God working without fanfare to tend to the needs of man. And just like with life itself, often his handiwork eludes our thinking in other settings.

When I began these little detours in my life I didn't know what to expect. But God did show me the purpose in part. Which was to inspire.

Although the demands of the journey can be hard on my physically at times, I do find it comforting in its own way.

Outside of that refuge, I have to join the host of cars for the journey home, which is as far as traveling the bike path. All the traffic and more concrete landscape never has the same appeal or affect as those precious miles in more serene landscape.

Still, I know it too is part of the journey. Like the journey of faith, one has to accept it will take us places where we don't always wish to go.

But along the way, the comfort comes from knowing God is there. Of being able to see him in the moment and allow it to touch us in other times.

That is the scenery the mind unfolds with joy if we let it. Then God is able to speak to us even when we can't hear him as clearly over the distraction of a given day. Hopefully we never grow completely deaf in the process.

THE CLAMOUR OF BOXES

They resonate the senses with a spell of security to seduce the brain
muttering to inner ears their enslaving appeal of confines and textures
in tones bathed in the calming antiseptic of tangential urges
inspiring one to curl up like an infant wrapped in shelter's blanket
where the darkest and deepest secrets are expressed as decorations
cleverly disguised as furniture and knick knacks.

But, despite the shimmer of luxuriant design,
it is merely an opulent shroud for confidence's fracture mirror
hung within one's skeleton closet
where rationalization's hasty strokes
of whitewashed denial's hues,
paint pristine castle facades for the eye
that never solidify
the quicksand within the soul.

All the towering features and structures
inhaled with a zeal of arrogant array
are, but edifices of esteem's steady decay
offering illusion's presumed perfect refuge,
which never protects
from the doubt tornadoes twisting the spine.

SEEN, BUT FORGOTTEN

I'm always fascinated by how shallow so many people are. You can turn on the television or radio and hear all the rhetoric about equality and fairness you can digest, but it doesn't have much to do with how people actually treat each other.

Jesus once reminded his disciples that the second most important commandment was to love thy neighbor as thyself. I feel that means basically that we should treat others as we would want to be treated. However, I don't see that practiced very often in life.

I hardly consider myself to be a model of that kind of compassion and love, but I have tried on many occasions to be fair and deal with others honestly. I only wish doing so brought any results. Gratitude is not the word that comes to mind when I think of how I've been treated by those that I tried to help or had to deal with in one way or another.

Naturally being dealt with unfairly doesn't make a person smile. And yet, I also understand that happens to many people.

Perhaps the most mystifying element to me is when I see someone who is clearly abusive and yet others think the person is a saint. This happens so often in churches. You can see someone who is a downright crook outside of Sundays at church, but in the house of worship the person is thought of as a good person.

Why does this happen so often? Well obvious sin plays a part. As does Satan. Evil people often have the ability to mask their sins in a way so they can continue to perpetuate their wrong. Satan isn't going to allow that to be stopped willingly.

Part of me grows angry over all the injustice. I grow weary at times from trying to deal fairly with people only to be betrayed or have my rights violated by these same people.

But I also know such people are accountable to the Lord just like I am for their actions. In this life at times we must content with people being their true selves. And that means they will expose the blackness of their hearts way too often.

What I understand though is that God sees the truth. He knows the lies and deceit people practice and try to mask as righteousness. Only at times he doesn't interfere with this evil he will judge it in eternity.

None of that will necessarily make us satisfied in this life when we don't reap any blessing from our labors and end up being misunderstood and discriminated against by others. What does warm me is the knowledge that God can give us the strength to battle against the anger and hated with a different response.

I take comfort in seeing the times when the truth finally comes out about some people's evil. And I really enjoy when God does it without it being by my hand.

Only there is so often the sad part is when others discover a saint was really a devil and never let it affect their behavior. Some people will never be free from the blindness of the heart.

GARLANDS FOR THE SOUL

What wraps around our secrets and leaves us feeling the most secure? That answer is never a single reply. But it is apparent that the garland used affects one's thinking and attitude in general.

No matter what we say or claim, when we act it betrays the truth of what is the most precious to our life. How amazing it is when our words contradict what we actually do.

But the problem is with garland for the soul is that when it comes from God, he is intended to serve his purpose. We do gain the benefit of some blessings in the process, but it doesn't mean that is the primary reason for its purpose.

Sometimes in an effort to soothe our own souls, we can lose sight of the real value to any spiritual garments. We focus on us, God wants us to lift up our eyes to a more important form of sight.

I am reminded so often that such garland may not even look spiritual. For what is needed to wrap around a given soul to give the person faith to obey won't always be outwardly what is clearly spiritual by some definitions.

It is so easy to hoist the banner of presumptive righteousness. We can impress others with a pennant of false purity that is woven with the right phrases and words.

What God weaves upon the heart is more focus on eternity. It is a fabric that slowly helps to heal the eyes of being so absorbed with just seeing the self and making one's life seem like the center of the universe.

Most important of all is the fact that God's garland for the soul truly has a natural feel. It fits us so well. And never has that sense of making one feel uncomfortable if you truly embrace its meaning.

Whereas those garlands that are artificial may look more impressive, but they are often composes of some plastic essence that just never truly makes one feel at ease with its fabric. This is by intent on the Lord's part.

It is his spirit nudging us to get us to appreciate how we are not suppose to lust for what is artificial and instead crave the genuine. But that requires us to truly be willing to feel the garland for its actual value.

When we do it comforts in a way that no longer frets over the peering gaze of judgmental eyes. We can feel satisfied with the touch and not worry about how the color appears to others.

This is the legacy in point of the garments God gave to Adam and Eve after their fall from grace. In our case it is a down payment of redemptive promise. It is an assurance to help keep us warmed by the Lord's love when others will fail. May we all learn to embrace it for its true worth.

THE RESIDUE OF LAUGHTER

Haunting in the seams of the spirit are the memories of those special times of joy. They come into the life with an extra zeal of intensity.

Such can come from so many sources, but the ones for me that touch the deepest come in from a spiritual source. They are the one's I seem to remember the best.

What for me makes them special is because they are link to some obedience that is related to the Lord. It gives the moment a more enduring and higher purpose. So the warmth felt inside truly gives a laughter that is deeper and more touching than those driven by some sentimental essence.

Those who haven't tasted of this type of experience might not always understand that. They would probably treat is as nothing more than a form of nostalgia. It can be that to a degree, but it can also be a whole lot more.

Laughter has such a medicinal quality at times. But there are those elements that make us smile in a temporary way and those that will revive a smile when relived at a later day.

Of those moments most precious if it relates to this life and its realm of senses, it can warm, but one is truly conscious that it doesn't extend beyond this life. So, it can produce a chuckle, just not one that will always linger time and time.

I hoping not to be vague in that regard, just to touch with the idea that there can be more to joy than what is transitory. And substitutions will leave us hollow to some point. At least in comparison to eternity.

That is my opinion naturally. But I have felt it. And there are so many times that life turns sour and the dogs of despair start howling. Then it when I love to reflect upon that residue of laughter as my repository of sustenance.

Many has been the time when life has some downturn and this knowledge truly blesses. It is the calm to face the burning of crisis and valley.

At the moment this particular thought has a special meaning since a plan I was working on just fell through. It wasn't that critical, but I was savoring the chance at a few smiles from the fruit.

Duty ended up bearing down upon my life and schedule. It doesn't provide any laughter, but one way I found to not let the sighs turn to cries.

What sired an ease in the strain of the disappointment? A memory of a moment of filling. That was a simple pause in circumstances where I felt the hand of the Lord touch so dramatically. This gives a chortle sublime in my thoughts. It allows me to face the disappointment more calm and cherish the reality of when life would again grant me another residue of laughter.

REMEMBERING

Through the travail of toil and sweat known by every hand
the memory of each generation is often stained and scarred
with valiant images from war's crimson sacrifice of man.

Upon the distant fields where so much blood was shed
there rises from the smoke and stench the voices of the slain
calling out to the women they left to defend
to never forget the terrible price paid under the scorching sun
that might preserve and restore the fragile garment of liberty.

Dazed widows struggling through tear stained, grief stricken eyes
bravely smile through the darkest low point of life
fighting back the sobs while draped in mourner's black
never surrendering for the sake of their children to the urge to wail
while inwardly dying with hate over the insane heritage of battle
that robbed them of their loves and lives.

Driven to courageously defend a legacy of proud, but poignant patriotism
so their children will see only something sane in the tragedy of death
they faithfully visit each white marker through heat and snow
enduring the onslaught from a blizzard of sadness
speaking in heart wrenching prayers and laments
about the perishable high of hope
before leaving with an offspring's trusting hand clutching their own
in order that each impressionable eye shall know of heroes and courage
till tomorrow when some of them march off to die on foreign soil
willingly doing so because of their mother's vigilance in,
remembering.

OTHER THAN DIVINE

I don't think that if someone claims to be spiritual, but doesn't really represent the Lord that you can expect they will start wearing a sign to proclaim this fact. It can definitely be so confusing at times to try and cope with so many voices and teachings that all claim to be inspired.

It might less confusing if they didn't contradict each other. But this even happens without a given belief system. I don't know of any group that is so much in accord that they totally agreed on everything.

One can honestly wonder why the Lord allows so much diversity and false teaching to exist when we know in so doing it only deters the capacity to know what is true. I wish I had a text book answer to that question, but the truth is I could only speculate on that issue in all fairness.

I do believe that God is omniscient and therefore there is a wisdom to this situation that I simply can't fathom. Nor is it necessarily critical that I do have a perfect understanding of the Lord's plan and purposes in this situation.

And while I can not and won't exchange in some kind of finger pointing exercise to try and say believe this and not this, I do feel that God's way are far more clear that at times we might imagine. By that I mean I feel that with the Lord, his ways will ultimate be one that will draw us closer to him. That he will guide us towards that goal.

Teachings that are abusive and espouse a form of hatred to me will never be from God regardless of what doctrine the represent. I do not believe God is the author or inspiration behind such believes. Those who claim he does to me are not really listening to his voice.

In the Christian sphere, I feel the Lord does have the right to guide as he wishes. And when we submit to his Lordship that means our needs become secondary to his will.

But I don't feel that means we are going to be lead to some place that completely is abusive. There is more than one voice that has for the sake of gain attempted to make their followers accept a level of sacrifice and hardship that isn't always God's doing in my opinion.

So what is other than divine can include a great many things we presume are from the Lord at times. However, I do feel if our heart is in earnest to know the truth, then he will answer our prayer for understanding.

The hard part is accepting the answer if it happens to disagree with what we personally want. That becomes a difficult choice sometimes. But the great joy is when we do, the Lord is so merciful to help us along the path to the place he has prepared for us. As long as we don't insist upon stopping for a picnic on some tangential snack that has not real spiritual nutrition, but just is easy to swallow.

WANDERING

The soul calls from the shadows of the mind when we are too consumed with sunlight's laughter to always listen. We often don't pay as much attention to this dialogue of ethereal hints that echo from the heart of God.

There are many reasons we ignore or don't listen to this dialogue. In part it is because to hear it one must have their spiritual hearing properly function.

While we strain to listen for shouts in terms of miracles or dramatic moments, there are times when God speaks softly and oh so personally. Still, we look for the lightning and thunder and ignore or fail to hear the whispers.

I was speaking to a friend of mine about another companion of ours. This person has a certain problem with some health issues that changes in his behavior would improve. However, like so many, he hasn't been able to conquer those addictions demons. So at this point he has reach a crossroads where he has simply chosen to give up on trying in any way to deal with his problem.

Lots of us face crisis and choices in life that we can't always conquer. We wander the paths of decision, struggling with the landscape and never quite sure why some road end in a dead end. Sometimes the weariness of disappointed settles into one's being. So we respond by giving up completely and not even trying in order to avoid the pain of more disappointment.

Success is for many the true test of a given choice. If one labors hard and long enough we expect a reward. If we reach a point where we feel no success is even remotely possible some will simply quit trying.

And on the surface we can certainly appreciate why some would give up. If doing so truly brought peace then it would be a good thing.

The problem is that inside there is that flame of desire. An inner witness implanted in us by God that is to inspire and guide us. In that context, success is not the priority, but the simple labor of obedience.

To give up goes against that basic desire. We may on the surface find some merit in it, but deep down we will be haunted by the void created from our giving up.

If giving up truly helped it would be understandable. However, in reality it simply creates "ghosts" of unspent passions. They haunt us as God intends and in the process we become unable to find the calm sought.

Wandering becomes the pathway not of choice, but of avoidance. Instead of being able to savor our wisdom of not chasing the impossible, we simple carry all the baggage of our shortcomings like far too heavy luggage. Sometimes the best success is the one that comes from trying because we know it is the path divinely inspired regardless of what the world sees.

INVENTING TOMORROW

Bedroom lights dimly glowing
ghostly reflections seen on the wall through my waning conscious,
television droning with the late evening news,
but I'm only listening
my brain's eyes
seeing only the imagined tomes of moments
sitting on an invisible shelf near the ceiling.

There is the one titled, "What I should have said."
It s a wonderful fairy tale
filled with courage, honesty and written in disappearing ink
so I don't have to read
all the words that I never uttered
during times when my backbone is missing

Then there is the one kept closed
containing the erotic drawings of women I've seen
and imagined undressed.

Finally, there is the one with the titled,
"Managing my dementia."
It is a pure work of fiction
that I rewrite every day.

They all sit on that shelf
mockingly muttering their contents
till I open the portal to my midnight Neverland of extremes
where I spend time
inventing tomorrow.

SUBTLE SPIRES

What truly towers to shadow our lives is not always easy to notice. We might feel the shadow in terms of the impact it has our own lives and day, but that doesn't mean we necessarily see the source.

Man erects his spires of vanity so he can appease his pride. We spend fortunes and time to construct edifices to our own glory. Yet, God can easily destroy them in a heartbeat.

Even though we know this, it doesn't keep people from trying to create some form of spire immortality. God doesn't keep us from such labors, but they do nothing to further the cause of Christ, unless they do exist for the sole purpose of honoring him. That is rare to be sure, if it happens at all.

On a carnal level, it really doesn't matter in terms of eternity if one chooses to devote their labors to building empires or any kind of pillar of boasting. It will all crumble and return to the dust in due season. Some ruins will remain for future generations to gawk at, but the architect will not be necessarily remembered or admired in the process.

Knowing this in no way deters some from making such activity their reason for being. But while they may gain some fame or fortune in the process, will it be a source of salvation? I don't think I have to answer that question, do I?

All of this is the dynamics of humanity called being mortal. And while it will never change, neither will its legacy result in the type of achievement that can in any way rival heaven or the Lord in their glory.

What is tragic is to see when spiritual leaders apply this same desire to building their congregations. Oh, they may learn how to say all the right words and go through creating the window dressing of wanting to give glory to the Lord, but if one looks passed the surface you see ego as the foundation.

The person is in reality about numbers. He or she worships the size of their following as prove of their calling. I wonder how the person would have handled having Noah's calling where he had to preach for a hundred and twenty years to people who refused to listen? Yet, I doubt any of those who shepherd mega-houses of worship can possible claim they are more beloved of God that Noah? Just a question to ponder.

I see the sadness that it must cause the Lord when he graces a certain person with his anointing and they use it to build their own kingdoms instead of remembering that they are part of a Heavenly kingdom. I'm not saying big churches are bad, merely that it just seems at times that the Lord ends up taking a back seat in terms of worship and attention to the person who is head of that ministry.

And I do see the number of times that this desire and passion for numbers truly possesses a given pastor. To the point they seem totally consumed by such facts, unable to remember the greater importance that God cares about the one lost sheep as much as the other ninety-nine.

OH MY

What a wonderful two words. They are so simple, yet say so much. And I think they merit being mentioned because I think they reflect the ease at times that some sins and indiscretions are regarded.

I say that from a memory I have of a man I deal with who told me about this person for whom he once worked. The individual he worked for loved using those two words when commenting on a problem, no matter how terrible.

In this case, the individual happen to be a contractor who manufactured parts for use in military equipment. And he was collecting money from the government on contracts where he got paid before the work was completed.

Well, the man I knew was pointing out to this individual that by spending it on things other than making the product meant they would run out of money before the parts were completed. Then one faced the risk of possible charges by the government for misuse of funds.

The individual's response was to utter that fateful, "Oh my." But afterwards, despite his alleged concerned, he never actually did anything different.

The man I knew, seeing the handwriting on the wall, decided to quit before the disaster struck. Later he read in the paper where the government had shut the business down and the individual was facing a variety of choices.

My point is that knowing something is wrong and actually letting it affect your actions is not the same thing. I've seen this so many times in life. And the most amazing instances seem to take place with people who claim to be Christians.

They actually have the capacity to know something they do is blatant wrong and yet keep doing it. They even keep going to church and never once allow their conscience to in anyway be influenced by the truth of the sin they have been ignoring.

I think it is a sign in part of when the holy spirit truly is not part of one's life. There is no convicting essence to in some way deter the person from their behavior or even to make them feel remotely wrong in their actions.

I knew a man who was a minister who even had this problem. You could sit down and point out where something he was doing was contrary to God's word or even an out and out sin and it never in any way affected his behavior. I call that the absent of God's spirit in the person's life. My opinion naturally.

I am grateful that God has been able to help me not forget that I am a sinner. And neither has he allowed me to reach a point that I feel good about the things I do wrong. I pray I never do come to a point where I'm totally comfortable with being sinful. Tell then, I will rejoice over the simplicity of following the Lord and not forgetting my need for forgiveness.

PASSED THE GRIND

Wouldn't it be great if we could really do this? Sort of like having a monkey on your back that you convince to go and give someone else lots of grief.

But as wonderful as any of that might seem, we all know there are some valleys and burdens you must bear alone. Or I should say there are some that you must bear only with the help of the Lord and not another person.

Some times we are able to understand why we face a certain trial and others the reasons elude us. But I believe that there are lessons that can be learn, with the Lord's help.

Lately, my wife and I have marveled at the amazing changes in our lives. We both grew up in environments that were abusive and harmful on different levels.

Fortunately, we were able to avoid being equally abusive to our son. We hardly were roll models of complete love and care, but I feel that we work harder at supporting and encouraging him than was ever done for us.

Now we are grandparents. And it amazes us that given our background that God would entrust us with that responsibility.

But I also know that because of our trials and suffering in our own youth it left us with a desire to be otherwise with our son and now with our grandson. So even though for many years we wander with a mind full of unanswered questions about our own upbringing, we now see the Lord's wisdom in using it to see we did better for future generations in our family than the past.

There are always two ways of coping with such valleys. One is to take the negative approach. Basically, I was deprived of love and affection as a child so why should I be forced to treat my child any different. That is too me an example in the scriptures of where the sins of the father are passed on to future generations. It is the curse and allowing Satan to blind one to God's will in relationship as a parent or grandparent.

The other approach is where one learns from this heartache and tries to not repeat the same cycle. Thus obedience to God's will in terms of parenting ends up being a blessing instead of curse.

None of this guarantees perfect offspring. That is not part of the consequences any parent is guaranteed. But I do feel where there is love there is more chance for it to flower as a blessing than where there is only hate masquerading as love.

I pray that God will grant his mercy to the hearts of any who have known the pain of an abusive childhood so they too can be a blessing and not a curse to their children. Perhaps we can't undo or always heal the past, but hopefully with God's help we can take life in a different direction that Satan would seek to pervert with his lies and seduction. Sometimes such victories come only in the quietness of a hug.

WITH THESE HANDS

Paper thin pieces of walls
(put together) with strength
mustered in moments of madness —

hung with homemade tears.

Eyes, sunken deep in their sockets with sorrow,
faces expressing the violence scars like a holocaust victim
looking with gazes utterly vacant and hollow,
the former castle kings dethroned by a war of weather
stand solemnly next to the maze of hastily erected hovels
surrounded by the litter of wooden ruins
being corpses of dreams slain in the torrid, climatic battle.

Yet they know that tomorrow's victory in the soul is often shallow
for those still alive after the wake of Mother Nature's rage
leaving behind its ravished trail so crushing of the survivor's security.

But the heart will not truly withers, nor dies
when one vows to never quits reaching for hope's skies
and retrace the images from the spoiled fruits of passed labors
reclaiming it with a new season of sweated crowns.

By a light waiting to dawn to orbs ebbing in vision
there is never a lost of resolve's iron
when one's spirit is able to stoke the furnace of reliance
forging anew the concrete and steel incarnations of toil
proudly etched in the soil as something
given life, essence and form
with these hands.

FESTOONS OF LAUGHTER

Draping the heart and soul with more smiles than frowns is not as easy for some as for others. Admittedly, people who seem to enjoy life are always more pleasant to be around than those who are miserable, but I'm not totally convinced that it is a defining factor in whether a person is truly under the influence of the holy spirit.

I must confess that at times when I see somebody who is too happy, I get skeptical. I'm speaking of a person who never seems to be sad. It just doesn't seem natural that you would smile constantly. Being happy is great, but who can walk on the mountaintop constantly?

I know I can't. So I strive in my situation for the kind of warmth of inner glow that comes from a laughter that doesn't produce some contrived belly laugh. I find the times of simple calm enough for me on occasions.

It opens the heart and mind to a vision beyond the now. By that I mean, when the fog of dreariness is lifted, God's spirit can touch with a special light that allows one to see more than just one's surroundings.

I'm not speaking of some altered state of thinking. Merely that in the transcendence of emotions where one is sensitive to such shifts in sensations, it can open one's awareness to truths and thoughts you might otherwise have missed.

That for me is a festoon of laughter, which some will never know. We seek to be entertained, not find a path to greater light and it's serenity.

But since that is only a place we can truly go with the Lord's help it is easy to miss or not appreciate. There is no handbook to spell how the details of what to expect or when it comes from God. I know the bible is a good guide to telling us what is a genuine reaction to when the Lord graces with a unique festoon of laughter as only he can inspire.

However, that doesn't mean everyone is willing to accept the quietness of inner festoons that don't come through shouting. And yet, absent the clamor and show, what can shine that is far more touching than when it is force for the sake of impressing.

I only hope my reflections make some sense. For what I'm speaking about is the simple need to be honest in one's emotions. It is so easy to say and do things we think will gain us approval, but to have them be merely and act.

Only then, when we have silence the contrived applause to achieve an artificial smile will we truly be prepared to accept the kind of festoon that is divinely blessed. That just requires us to above all be willing to listen more than shout.

And to accept that the best form of festoon is the one that fits us naturally. That may be as simple as a small curl of the lips. Other's may never even notice it. However, God sees it just the same.

AMONG THE CLOUDS

I wish we could truly dwell among the clouds instead of merely gazing at them. It just seems like a peaceful climate free of stress and the dangers of this life.

I'm sure I'm not the first person who toyed with that idea. For me it is just a passing fancy, not an obsession.

At times though I wonder if others haven't tried to reach for the clouds in a more consuming way. Not that they have necessarily succeeded, but it doesn't keep them from trying.

Life, with all its various attachments of needs and reality hardly lends itself to such choices. It doesn't keep us from wanting otherwise, but it just never seems to actually happen.

Still, it is very popular in some Christian circles to offer some version of cloud living to people. That isn't a domain reserved for the teachings of some fractions of the faith.

There are many options one can find if you seek to find someone to offer you a path beyond the stars where you can life happily forever. I'm not sure anyone ever actually probes such claims for their success, but if you have enough time and money there are plenty of people out there that will tell you what you want to hear.

I've always found it interesting how for those who teach the cloud life in whatever version they definitely seem to have it all together. At least on the surface they live well and are content with their lives.

And often they seem to convey the concept of how you have to sacrifice in order to enjoy what they have. Only you notice they themselves never seem to do any sacrificing.

At least that seems to be the impression. So it is more a matter in many ways that they offer up hope for a price and naturally you are the only one who has to pay the price.

The question is to me one of can a person truly find contentment with their lot in live. Judging from all the searching that goes on I think the answer is most often not. Which tells me that most of us would desire to live the cloud life if we could whether it is really available.

What doesn't seem to be true is that we will all find the wings to fly. And what if God has chosen us to be in a life without those wings?

It seems to often I've known too many people who just can't accept their role in life. They don't have the ability to enjoy what they have regardless of if there is a lot or a little. Which is why I think at times the only way to truly gain wings for the cloud life is to let them be from the Lord. And if those wings make us soar upon the ground, embrace it to find the joy it can brings. Lusting for what will never be always is a dead end path.