BORROWED

In my first novel, I gave God the name, the "Owner." It was for me an aid in remembering that God really does own everything that is since he created it. He does in his goodness and mercy grant us temporary title to some things, but they still belong to him.

This even includes our very lives. They wouldn't exist without his having created them. Which makes the concept of owning things to me one with a far different meaning than some of us appreciate.

This whole idea took on a different aspect for my wife and I a while ago when we moved into our first house. Technically, we are the homeowners. Yet, while we possess the house and it is in our name, the mortgage company does have a claim against it. So we don't own it without help.

But the ultimate help is from the Lord. After all, he is the real owner of the house and everything else. It is wonderful that he grants us some kindness and blessing in allowing us the right to temporarily possess and own any given item, but I do wonder at times if we truly appreciate how that is temporary.

When one looks at the panorama called life and all the inequity it is very clear that people don't view ownership as temporary. If anything, the opposite seems to be the dominate aspect of thinking. Too many seem consumed with the process of trying to gleam as much in life as possible, even at the expense of others.

As a result there truly is a tragic gap in the world in terms of provision. Some have too much, others have too little.

I know we have the power to change that reality, but it isn't going to happen. Jesus, I think, expressed the truth of human nature when he made the comment, "the poor you have with you always."

I don't believe he was endorsing poverty. I think he was simply making a sad, but very true observation about human nature. Basically, that God puts in our hands the capacity to do otherwise in terms of charity, but we don't do solve the problems even when we have the power to do so.

I don't claim to be exempt from such behavior either. I do marvel at God's blessing in terms of us having finally be granted a chance to own a home. It didn't come along early in my life and still would I at this point get rid of it to say feed the poor? That is the way some would claim you should do.

As for myself, I don't believe that is what is meant by helping. Sharing is not the absence of blessing for oneself as I see it. It is the responsibility to help to the degree God's spirit leads. That is the part that I think we fail at and in the process lose out on the rewards for whatever might have been accomplished if we had said yes instead of no.

THE MANY FACADES OF FLAWS

There is an old saying that beauty is in they eye of the beholder. Yet, I also remember the words of Shakespeare who said, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

I think the essential comment in that regard is how perception affects us in terms of our thinking. And beauty is no exception. Which is my way of focusing on the simple fact that what we define in some arenas becomes in our minds truth on that subject.

That in reality doesn't mean it is absolute truth. Perhaps in that regard I am saying the obvious to some.

The only reason I feel a need is because it does grief me to see how this impacts the spiritual realm. In the last few months my wife and I have been dealing with this one particular person out of necessity. What has made it the most difficult is the person is sadly one of the most unethical and lying individuals I've known in my life. And naturally, whenever you point out to this person a lie the individual told the person lies about lying, which is even more frustrating.

I am grateful that we our dealings with this person are for the most part over. There are still some gray areas of response on our part to some of this person's actions that might lead to some legal aspects in terms of us suing this person, but otherwise we are free from involvement.

What is truly unfortunate is to see how this person makes a major issue about going to church. The idea being naturally that this somehow makes the person a good person.

If only the truth was close to this fact. Instead it is just an excuse like too many this person uses to create the illusion and charade of being someone good and decent while in reality having a very black and ugly heart.

I'm also aware how this person has no clue that ultimately God will hold the person accountable for such behavior. Sin, when not covered by the blood of Christ by one's faith, is never forgiven.

You can't offset sin with good works. That is another tragedy. I've seen it too often when a person somehow things doing a good deed in any way makes up for any wrong they have done. It doesn't earn any degree of forgiveness.

But there are so many who somehow are convinced they can stand before God and lift up the pitiful examples of their idea of good deeds and it will outweigh the burden of their sin. They will find out as the scriptures paint it so well that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god.

I'm truly grateful for being able to learn the difference. To not allow myself to play the game of flowering charades when I know that God sees what is in my heart that is other than beautiful. Perhaps the greatest joy is just having God's spirit created what is his idea of beauty instead of my feeble attempts of righteousness.

THE WELL OF MOST FLOW

If life were a drink to you, what flavor would it be? Would it be sour or sweet? Would it taste great, but sicken your stomach?

These are the kinds of questions that often come from the positivism advocates I suppose. They relate what happens in life to your attitude. And there is merit to that view to some degree, yet the life of faith is not one live perfectly or always good or bad regardless of your attitude.

It may affect who you view what happens, but trust is not an issue of something God grants to happen in our life because he necessarily wants us to enjoy it. Happiness may come with the experience, but that isn't the priority.

I can't speak for others, but I have notices in my life that it seems to go in cycles. Sometimes that is a flow that changes from hour to hour. Not that I enjoy the twists and turns, but I have observed it is the way a day or week or even longer can transpire.

Sooner or later in the course of events I will stop to ask the most important question. Mainly what is it that God wishes me to learn from this moment or event.

I do hope along the way that I don't avoid the obvious. I recall seeing a cartoon once where a guy was in a sinking row boat and dressed for fishing. The capacity had him asking, "Lord was me running over a rock and my boat sinking your way of telling me I should have gone to church on Sunday instead of fishing?"

I'm not trying to suggest that God would have taken that approach. I just saying that I know there are times when we will ignore the facts for one reason or another.

In that regard as far as my life goes there have been a great many times when I have come to some crossroads and prayed for the Lord's wisdom to help make a choice. In some cases the right choice was obvious, in others not so.

I do know, however, that the Lord has certainly made it very clear when I needed to go a certain direction. And yet I also know there have been times when I resisted because I wanted a different path. How easy it is to excuse our lack of obedience.

I am grateful for the many times that God has been merciful to me in such situations. And I have discovered the times when my first instinct in a given situation may have seemed to be wrong. That the consequences that followed often made it seem like it was a wrong choice.

Yet later, sometimes weeks or months later I find out my first instinct was in fact the right one.

Too many people love to play the prophet. They love to say I told you so. But I know that with the Lord, the well of most flow is the one that occurs over a life time and not just in one second. Hopefully we can remember it as needed when face with some change that makes us question what in our hearts we know was God's will.

TWO LIVES

There are two lives
we live.
One that is seen
by the eyes
of other
minds
and only seen
from God’s throne.
At his altar of mercy
failure
is never recorded,
just forgiveness
if we, but reach up
with open arms
to touch his grace.
For eternity
affords us
a chance for success
that men
ignore.

A QUIET PLACE

There are some times I think when this is far more important in life than with others. I know in my situation the last few months have truly strained my capacity to find any kind of quiet place.

Normally, I have enjoyed certain times when life afforded me a degree of quiet. I work full time on the weekends where I spend most of the time in an office alone. But currently our company is going through a major remodeling and as a result my weekend is constantly being intruded upon by workers and upper management checking their work. So my solitude is gone for a while.

At home I also would have periods of quiet, but since we moved into a house that wasn't quite finished the last few weeks have also been influenced by numerous people coming and going. Plus with all the details to finalize I have often spent hours having to do chores and constant errands in my off time. So quiet is one thing that definitely hasn't been apart of the experience.

It is interesting how the lack of such quiet is felt the most when it is lost. I can even remember back to the times during the week when I had time to sneak away for an hour or two and sit somewhere to write. Those times are also not part of my life at the moment.

I have tried to appreciate any spiritual lesson I have learned in the process. The first thing I have come to learn is that I'm not one who loves crowds. Which means I'm never going to end up in a position of ministering to others in a way that would involve dealing with lots of people on a personal level.

The second thing I have come to appreciate is that I not one who enjoys having lots of possessions. Moving into a house meant we had to box up ten years of stuff at our apartment. A month later we are still unpacking. Most of the things we have aren't expensive and a lot of them are things that my son and wife love to collect. So they take up a lot of space, but are necessarily valuable.

I wouldn't deprive my family of their right to their things, but I have to be honest it just wears me out having to lug stuff around and dealing with all the clutter at times. Which is why I have one room in our house where I do my writing that is separate from the clutter. I have a couple of pictures on the walls, a desk and chair, a small bed, computer and television. But outside of those things, the room is fairly simple compared to the rest of the house. For me it affords the one place of refuge for quiet in a place way to filled with chaos.

And in that quiet, God often touches my thoughts and that will carry into other parts of my life. Enough that I can find the strength to endure the clatter a little while longer. It does make me wonder about heaven at times. A silly little thought about the idea of mansions. I hope if there are mansions it means lots of closets since with eternity to collect things you will no doubt need that much storage space. Just a little humor to end this posting.

TODAY

I think the scriptures do to a point convey the idea of the importance of today. That is from my view in terms of the need to live it to the fullest and take it for granted.

It doesn't mean that planning is a bad thing. But if one gets so consumed with planning and never truly appreciates a given day then I think some aspect is lost in the process.

If we never stop to reflect on a day and remember it is a gift from the Lord how easy we can get trapped in the vicious cycle of only dwelling on the details that don't matter or are less significant. How easy it is for that to happen.

On a different level you can also find yourself struggle with allowing Sunday to be just Sunday. God doesn't just dwell in the church. He is there, wherever we are. And he cares just as much about what we do the rest of the week as we do on Sunday.

I've gotten in this habit for myself of being sure I try to start out each day surrendering it to the Lord. I may lift up to him long term problems, but at the same, I ask for his guidance for that day.

Does that mean I spent the whole day being spiritual and only thinking lofty thoughts? Not even close. I get trapped just as much as the next person captured by the routine.

But there are the moments when I can stop in the midst of all the distraction and demands of the routine and lift up my eyes to try and remember God is still in charge. That can be a rather nebulous concept at times when you consider all the chaos in the world, but the reality is to me that it means that he is still God. Basically that he grants us the freedom to make our choices good or bad, but it doesn't mean in any way he is less capable of controlling what happens.

Stopping to remind myself of that and to try and ask the basic question about what it is that my Lord desires from me in a given situation is easy to forget. But I am grateful for when the Lord does tap me on the shoulder and grant me that memory.

Again, what happens today in that regard doesn't necessarily mean it will be the same tomorrow. I always marvel at the times when people manage that silly notion of always chasing rainbows of solutions.

One of my friends does that a lot. The person's desires are well-intentioned, but if I took this person's opinion on everything, the perfect answer to any problem would take place and change almost every hour. I don't think that is the way the Lord works.

And from what I've witnessed a lot of people are inclined to operate on the same level of thought in terms of today. For the follower of Christ we do have the blessings of hope that despite today and its pressures, tomorrow may come with different choices. It can allow us to smile just keeping today in the perspective it is suppose to have. Sometimes I actually manage to embrace it as more than a thought.

TOMORROW

Tomorrow
is the abode of trust
where God's hand
has already touched.
He shines his favor
and test
into the darken
domain
yet exposed to any
light,
but whispers in our spirit
His promises
having a caress
that clings so softly
when so many
with evil hands
plot
their greed
to curb the fear
from their lack of faith.

THIS LAND

When I speak of land in this situation, I'm thinking more in terms of a promise of God as it applies to an individual. This would be the promise land on a personal basis.

And drawing from the idea of the promise land there are several things we can appreciate from the experience of the people of Israel. Some bible interpreters have treated the promise land, which was Palestine, as a symbol of heaven.

But I don't think that is true since there are no enemies occupying Heaven and you don't have to fight to occupy the land. If anything, the promise land is that place of promise given by the Lord to a person or group of people. It is conditional in the sense that you have to claim it by faith, which can also mean you have to work in order to realize the promise.

God gave the land of Palestine to the people of Israel, but if they wanted to occupy it they were going to have to fight for it. He didn't just make it easy.

True the land did have a bounty of opportunities such a very fertile ground, but I think for the sake of testing their faith he didn't let them just claim the land. The result was unfortunately instead of doing what God said in claiming the land, they didn't rid the land of his enemies. In fact they even were seduced by false gods of the other people. So by not doing as God instructed the consequence was that some of the tribes never fully occupied all the land promised. And they ended up being corrupted by the very evils they were meant to destroy

This land for any believer is the place of promise as it applies to us. It can be a place, it can be a calling or any number of other items. But we do know to occupy and claim it, God will normally keep it in the realm of a test of our faith for our own benefit.

And along the way there will be the obstacles. They may even be the type that don't appear as a threat, but are so subtle in their corruption.

Perhaps the most important truth in it all is that whatever is the land, it is one that God chooses and gives us. It is never one of our preference.

That is part of his sovereignty and it is so easy to forget that what is our promise land is does come from him. Perhaps that is why the struggle. It is his way of keeping us from becoming too complacent in our occupying of the land.

Hopefully we can learn the lesson that the people of Israel failed to remember in that regard. For there is nothing sadder than to experience the blessing of a promise land that the Lord must take away later because we forgot it came from him.

I struggle myself to always keep in focus that truth. And I pray that God doesn't have to take away the promise because I get sidetracked in the process. But then I do continue to trust to him for my survival and that after all is the part that will keep him most in our hearts.

PLAIN AND SIMPLE

As a writer prone to using too many big words I have to plead guilty to not always remembering this rule in terms of communicating. The Lord thank goodness doesn't have that problem in terms of saying things we need to understand.

Admittedly, with such aspects as prophesy the symbolism can be vague and hard to understand regardless of how good a bible student the person is that is doing the interpretation. But whether we comprehend all the intimate details from the prophet as they are meant to be appreciated doesn't and shouldn't hinder are capacity to trust in the promises of the Lord.

What I think is a big problem is when God makes something easy to understand and we complicate it. For me, when the scriptures where penned they were inspired by God's spirit for the specific purpose of encouraging faith. I think it was presumed that the reader would already have faith when reading the bible.

That doesn't mean that the scriptures can't convict or convert. There are many times when somebody does come to the faith through reading God's word.

Still, that doesn't mean it happens in every case. There will always be those who will read the bible for the specific purpose of finding things or reason not to believe are true.

Then there are the incredible devout believers who are so passionate about their faith that the assume everyone should take their word for the fact that the bible is true. They often end up in arguments with non-believers that never actually accomplish anything, except frustrating each person.

I do personally embrace God's worth as the truth. It is for me a source of numerous influences on my life. But I do appreciate no matter how much it means to me that is no guarantee others will agree.

One of the areas I find a real tragedy in terms of plain and simple in that regard is the biblical version of the creation of the earth. Many is the debate that has raged over the issue of creation verse evolution. Each side seems bent on proving the other side is an idiot from my point of view.

To me, the scriptures simply declare that God created the Heavens and Earth. Basically he created all that is. And we are told in other places how Jesus part in the creation process was to literally speak into existence everything.

Nowhere in any of the biblical account does it bother to explain how God created anything in terms of the exact process. That is to me is because the whole purpose was to establish simple that God is the author of all we are and all that is in the Universe.

That will be enough for some, but not for others. Some will always try to go beyond what is plain and simple to complicate it with what they regard as evidence that creation isn't a reality. As for me, well someday when I stand before the Lord, I'll be happy to honor his creative with some praises of gratitude. I have no idea how those who dishonored him with their bias against his authorship will explain such actions when in his presence. To be honest I don't think I want to find out either.

THE LAST PERIOD

Ever know someone who insisted upon having the last word? Which to me only is important if you never say anything again. However, I think the idea is that the person having the last word is basically saying, "Hey, I'm right."

At least that is my impression. And I also think such attitude is driven by pride more than anything.

The reality is naturally that God has the final word in all things. We just don't always remember that in our pursuit of our own agenda.

Unlike us, of course, God doesn't lie and when he says something you can be sure he will be faithful to what he has said. It is comforting after dealing with so many people who lie and never keep a promise to know that our Lord is different.

And to me the last period of life, the very last sentence of meaning will be the one spoken by the Lord. It won't matter what I think or say, it will only matter what the Lord said.

I do recall how the Lord warned that we would be accountable for every word we say, (I am paraphrasing naturally.) That for the believer is related to rewards and not judgment.

What I feel that relates to is the fact that only what we said that related to faith and praising God will have any value in eternity. This means every prayer and praise will be apart of the crown of dialogue the believer can rejoice over.

Which of course means that for a lot of people who spend most of their time complaining and uttering vanities their crowns will be very, very small if they exist at all. I'm not sure that is something that can be viewed as a source of rejoicing in eternity.

Hopefully, we do take the advice of the Apostle Paul and let only what comes from our mouths be profitable for edification. I doubt that will be the reality though.

Still, I am grateful for his bounty of grace. It covers all the stains of my tongue, which are far too many.

What a joy, what a source of praise to be able to stand before the Lord and have him show the times you spent using your tongue for the right reasons that gave honor and praise to him. What a tragedy to see the times, which are far too many when we didn't.

Quiet is the moment most sublime if we are listening with the voice of our hearts. Then our soul can sing the eternal song that will ring out forever.

It is often without being heard in this life where we are consumed by the clatter of our own thoughts. When we spend the time invested more in complaint than appreciation. Will eternity truly be heaven for some if there is nothing to complain about? It is a question each person has to answer for his or herself.

ON EDEN'S MARCH

It is inspired by an ethereal and mystical
glaze of apparition incense
that teases the soul's nostrils
and contorts the nerves with ecstasy.

Although barely detectable or noticeable
to dead and darken souls
because of its subtle translucent and alluring hue
which caresses with a figment flash view
from the perfect and pure realm of golden, eternal serenity.

For the children of light
one senses the moment like an inexplicable twinge
as a compulsive cadence and rhythmic sway
sees the peering observation through
the felt presence in unseen cherub faces
who can lovingly heal life’s fracturing scars
which can often destroy one's faith
in the magic and lore of fairy godmother spells.

Onward the willing heart marches in a dazzling spiritual stupor,
skipping in the veins through a beguiling celestial vision
until touching the taste of Eden residing within,
content to catch that angelic guiding wind
without dwelling upon
the somber and stained world of a practical enslavement
where the shadowy goblins of can’t
feast upon one’s dreams.

FREE AND FREER

I do wonder at times if true freedom is honestly achievable in life? I've known plenty of people who have been rebels and lived on the fringes of life, but I never felt they were truly free.

We can naturally do our best to achieve whatever version of freedom we think will gain us liberty from whatever enslaves. But does that truly qualify as freedom?

That might not be a question that we can truly answer. Well not if we are being honest. Which is perhaps is an ingredient of being free that can't be discounted.

One can claim to be free by claiming not to be dependent on something, however that doesn't mean it is the truth. I'm thinking of things like addictions at this point. I'm sure more than one person thought they were free who were in reality a slave to some substance.

The real measure of course of their freedom resided in when they tried to give up that addiction. I don't think there is any more harsh reality in that sense than finding out you have no control over a part of your life.

Which I think is the ultimate in terms of not being free. But I'm not sure everyone shares that opinion. That is the reason I think denial has such a hold on so many people in one way or another.

Perhaps one of the most quoted parts of scripture is the one about how the truth shall set you free. However, in the context in which the Lord mentioned it the condition was that you had to abide in Christ. Then and only then is one able to know the truth and truly be free.

But what is the freedom you get from abiding in Christ. I'm sure you can find all kinds of people who will give you an answer. That doesn't mean it is necessarily the right one.

And if it isn't the right one, then is it truly based on the truth? From my view real freedom starts with honesty. That is because we play too many games to avoid an truths that remind we are someone other than who we truly are.

But knowing the truth doesn't necessarily mean you won't be imprison in some way in this life either. For I think of the Apostle Paul. He certainly abided in Christ and who knew the truth better?

Yet he spend a fair about of his life in prison and hardly lived a life that was without some kind of restrain. So does real freedom me that we are free to do whatever we want when we want to? It doesn't seem to be the case as I view it.

I think it is more freedom in terms of knowing the truth that this is not the end of life. That we do have in Christ a hope eternal. And that is a truth that grants us the type of freedom to look at the shackles of life and remember only our Lord has the power to break them. But that sometimes he doesn't do so in this life time.

SPECIAL

When I say special in this situation I'm thinking of unique. Those things that mark life in some way that makes us feel different or see things different.

In my life I had an experience several years ago in terms of health. I had a life threatening bout with pneumonia that also ended up with me finding out I was a diabetic.

Yet, God worked a special event out of that process. He used it to deliver me from my addiction to processed sugar.

Somewhere in all the days in the hospital and being on a restricted diet, I lost my craving for sugar. But it went beyond that.

Later I developed a literal aversion to sugar. Some might think that was a coincidence or just induced on a psychological level, but I feel it was God's way of making sure I didn't go back to my old habits. It wasn't that I deserve such a gift, it was simply part of his purpose that I might serve him for different reasons.

Over the years I have had little reminders of the fact that this aversion to sugar is permanent. The other night I had one of those "special" moments.

It happen when I picked up what I thought to be some peanut butter crackers at this store. It turned out they were a snack bag size of peanut butter cookies.

That only took a couple of bites before my stomach started burning and I literally became deathly ill. Which the moment I started feeling that way I rechecked the bag and discovered me error.

Needless to say I have had to check peanut butter of my list of foods. I truly loved it, but now the reaction has left me with the kind of reaction that only draws a bad result with my buddy.

So in this case, I'm treating that as special in a good way. It did reaffirm that sugar is definitely one thing I can't even in any way touch. Which I'm hardly complaining about.

In these days when some boast of the Lord working miracles in their lives, I can't say I feel like bragging about this change. And it doesn't make me as a person special.

But when I see so many who suffer from sugar addiction, I am truly humble by the fact that God would in his grace touch my life in that way.

Some might look upon such an experience as a bad thing. Since I don't crave sugar I don't in anyway feel any sadness over the change.

I just rejoice that there are ways that God granted me a special moment, which in so many ways touched my life in a positive way. And that is a kind of special for which I can and will always rejoice.

KNOWN

Known
is the
transient
supplication
from heart and spirit.

It flows effervescent
as care from sensitive souls,
washing with sublime, perfect light
gracing life and mind memorably
warming by love's matchless, enduring flame.

Bringing moments one can't ever forget
by the stroke of mercy's needed touch
through inner healing's special rush
reclaiming stolen laughter
from sorrow's fickle thief.

Giving hope's feathers
a chance to fly
by helping
more than
self.

A PAST TIME OF PRETENSE

I think we all have our moments of denial. Which is in reality a process of lying to ourselves.

Isn't it wonderful how many excuses we can make for why we fail at something or don't keep some promise? Lying to others might keep us from having our false image exposed for its truth. However, lying to ourselves some times really takes effort since we do know the truth, even if we don't admit it.

That is all the idiocy of human nature and behavior. Our inner need to enslave ourselves to something that isn't true all for the sake of avoiding guilt or losing face in the eyes of those who we wish to impress.

There is a difference though between that kind of deception and stupidly thinking God is somehow influence by this type of show. I'm not sure what seduces us into that kind of thinking. Perhaps it is the lure of religiosity or the simple inspirational adornment of a house of worship, but in no way can we ever supplant our lives with enough lies or justification for our sin to ever please the lord.

Still, you see it all the time. I too have been a victim of such a process at times. You get so caught up in the process and moment in terms of some spiritual duty that it lulls you into some sense of self-righteousness.

It is so easy when serving the Lord to make lateral comparisons to others who don't even believe and are therefore not among the redeemed. They don't even attempt to please God in any way or acknowledge his sovereignty. Jesus is not their Lord and Savior and they may not even believe he was real.

So I can appreciate how such people have no motivation to necessarily worry about sin or their behavior, although some people do have their own sense of morals. But the thing is, for the person following Christ there will always be that subtle thought that somehow serving God makes you a better person.

Which is in reality not true. Perhaps we don't so some of the same wrong things, but we are still sinners. And nothing we do will ever remove the need to be forgiven or covered by the blood of the lamb.

In times when I fall into that chasm of delusion the Lord lovingly taps me on the shoulder and makes me remember my need for forgiveness. He manages to catch me before I drift too far and remind of all the sins I have committed that keep me from having a right to think myself better than anyone else.

I'm grateful for such taps on the shoulder. They do help to keep me from the distraction of pride that truly kills the holy spirit's influence on one's soul. It brings a smile at times I suppose, but others a sadness that I even need those reminders. It is all part of being human and the miracle of grace.

SOMETHING

Clarity bespeaks of thought refined and full of light. It transcends the issue of self illusion for the sake of a better horizon.

We who listen to the clouds know it's chime upon the soul from God's heavenly doorbell. But it is a sound that isn't heard by the hears.

Hence it isn't always noticed by people too consumed with the clatter of their own ramblings no matter how spiritual they claim they are. Only you can't always get such people to understand that being impressed with your own voice is not the same as hearing the voice of the Lord.

And there are times when God unveils some reflection or truth in the midst of something ordinary. You might see incredible rainbows of interpretation, but others see only the average.

The Lord is very good at masking his intentions, will and power through the natural. A storm, thunder, even nature itself all bear his fingerprint, but not everyone is prepared to see or hear what is really there.

Faith stirs the pot of vision till we can taste of that casserole of more. It strengthens and give us sight to look beyond the obvious.

What a pity that even in Christian circles there are so many who aren't interested in such splendor. They want predictable and something they can control.

The pure delusion in such thinking revolves around the simple fact that in reality there is no such thing as genuine control by our hands. How could we actually have such power when the world and all that is in it belongs to God.

He granted Satan certain dominions of control when man fell, but it is a lease that will expired at the time of judgment. You and I in this realm are merely occupants without clear title.

That is reserved for later, after God restores the balance between man and creator. Then we can be part of the greater shared realm of dominion.

Until then we are in the midst of a test of our hearts and souls. What a pity are those who spend too much time presuming what is not going to be till eternity as being this present reality.

They are entitled to their lies. The Lord will not keep man from making something into his own version of God.

For those of us who know every something belongs in reality to the Lord are simply grateful for the times he grants us temporary custody of his possessions. I pray we never forget his sovereignty or ownership in the process.

I DID, BUT I DON'T

Vows are an interesting aspect of spirituality. They should never be made strictly on emotion.

God takes our vows seriously because he is one for keeping his word. So making a vow an later reneging on it is not a way to impress the Lord.

Promises are in many ways similar to vows as I see it. Only if you don't keep either of them on a spiritual level it is never a good thing.

I don't think any of us enjoy dealing with people who make promises the don't keep. It is a common problem though.

When I used to work in the credit industry it was amazing to me the number of people who would borrow on credit and then for one reason or another not pay the money back. I do appreciate how things like unemployment can prevent a person from keeping their promise to repay, but I also say way too many instances of people who didn't pay their bills by choice.

Fortunately with credit you only have to concern yourself with any eternal consequences. However from my experience with some who claim to follow the Lord they don't seem to worry about that either, which is truly sad.

This is perhaps the one thing that truly amazes me the most. Dealing with those who claim to believe in Jesus, but never keep their promises. In fact in some situations they even go so far as to deny when they did make a promise as if God doesn't know the difference.

So often the mind is capable of such incredible heights of denial and excuse. And Satan is so good at helping us avoid doing what we promise.

How easily he can help us to find some reason to explain for not keeping a commitment. Then the moment we do, in comes the waves of guilt and recrimination to kill our sense of value.

God does know when we are sincere about a vow and also when our spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. There is also his bountiful gift of grace that covers us when we do stumble.

So above all, if we make a vow and later fail to keep it, the first option shouldn't be to lie about it. We should take it to the Lord and let his spirit teach us the lesson we should learn about ourselves in the process.

It is one of those behaviors that we never seem to learn so perfectly that we can easily forget it the next time a crisis of promise occurs. But hopefully it will be the voice of the Lord's spirit we listen to more than Satan.

TWILIGHT'S SLEEVES

They are so exquisitely well fitting and soothing
as they wrap around the aching heart
at the end of a challenging day
whether it was good or bad
where we long for the shear bleeding
of exhausted emotions
while welcoming nature's hint
about the arrival of eve's shadowy mask.

For those last ebbing moments
when the daystar finally dies
behind the horizon's curtain
our essence smolders with the embers of seconds
still burning like vivid embryos
from the mind's more fertile offspring.

One final sigh of acceptance
before welcoming what the garment nocturnal
drapes around our shoulders
and sunset's looming shroud is shred,
but its phantom memories still haunt
with a whisper of deepest begging
that tomorrow will bring
a cornucopia in chortle echoes for the soul
to be celebrated with a content smile
when again we don
twilight's sleeves.

LIES AND SPIES

If you always told the truth and others did the same would there be any need for spies? That is probably one of those rhetorical questions since it is hardly likely in this life that such a condition would ever exists.

And even though the concept of deception doesn't necessarily have to relate to spying, we do know that the goal of a spy is, at least as far as I understand, to discover secrets. After all what reason would somebody have for spying in a place where you could just get the information by asking.

Now what as any of this to do with spiritual issues? I guess I was dwelling upon how deception and spying are far more prone with those who don't trust in the Lord. That might be a bit of a stretch, but it did occur to me recently how those who plot and plan without really trusting in God are more inclined to need a strategy for working with people. They can't do things out of honesty and they always have ulterior motives.

What gets to be such a pain is when they assign those same values others even when it isn't true. I can list all the times when I've been the victim of such paranoia.

As a rule I have no desires beyond the simple ones to survive another day and do whatever the Lord places on my heart. I'm not out to conquer the world or plot against others in the process.

So it is amazing to me the times when people sit down and conjure some bizarre notion that my actions in a given situation were intended strictly for the purpose of gain. Which points to the reality of how the person is human, but not necessarily listening to the Lord in such situations.

Lies will always exist. And some will pose as friends while the whole time seducing with false sincerity so they can plan to take advantage of others. They are spies of the heart, corrupt, greedy and without any conscience.

God knows the heart and can speak to our fears if we let him. But again he won't do that if our motives are simply to use the information to take advantage of others.

Sadly the time some people spend in analyzing information to uncovered plots is amazing. They can consume all kinds of energy simply from being convinced the world is planning their demise.

I am reminded how the scriptures declare that Satan is the father of lies. Deception helps to blind people to the truth. It appeals to their pride and selfishness.

Which should be a point of warning to us when we come to the point of thinking in terms of spies and lies. If we forget the word of God and allow such paranoia to have full reign over our senses it will lead us farther from the Lord in terms of trusting him. Hopefully, before we practice the need to lie, we remember the need to pray.

THE GRAND DISCOVERY

Did you ever have those times when you sat back and smiled and figured that you knew everything about a given issue or subject? There you sit with a big smile on your face and feeling like a know-it-all when it happens. Somebody blinds you with the facts that you never bothered to think of before. It can be really embarrassing if they bring bad news too.

What makes it even more frustrating is if you have approached the subject or problem from faith and think you know the Lord's will for the situation. You even go through the process of trusting and praying and honestly seeking God's will.

Then comes the point you think you have a clear answer and proceed in faith. But suddenly despite all your sincere efforts to seek the Lord's choice, things go wrong. And you are only left to feel confused, depressed and if you are honest down right mad.

For some this kind of "grand" discovery is so disillusioning that you can't even manage to keep trusting the Lord. I've known people that were so sure and confident about the Lord's will in a given situation and then when they discovered that wasn't true they couldn't handle the reality. In fact of course pride is the issue at the heart of such reactions. It might be opinion naturally, but isn't that the problem when we don't get what we want?

I wish there was an easy answer to explain why the are so many times when we presume that God's will is one thing and take the time to follow the spiritual steps to honestly seek his desire and still end being wrong. It can really be so frustrating on so many levels.

And in the aftermath when the soul searching person looks for answers we don't always get the one we prefer or want. Perhaps the grandest discovery is that we can't always know things or figure them out as perfectly as desired.

So does that mean God wants to keep us guessing about life? I don't think so. But I do believe you can have a climate of faith or trust where complete certainty exist. That the lack of clarity forces us at times to honestly trust without being able to find the perfect solutions.

Some can accept that reality and some can't. And I'm not saying that translates into we can never know some aspect of life for sure.

If life is regarded as a journey then it does have mountains and valleys. There are times when we will see more clearly that others. Our vision, just like life itself is imperfect. This is part of the reality we have to embrace.

Which is why part of the problem resides with what happens when we make that grand discovery regarding being human. For some reason we just can't bring ourselves to actually embrace the fact that being spiritual doesn't mean you never make mistakes. That is part of the reality of life for a following of the Lord that may be the biggest area of Grand Discovery we truly have the hardest time accepting. Hopefully, God grants us the grace to face that truth as it comes into our lives.

THE DIN OF NIGHT MURMURS

They only sing with a timbre heard deep in the soul
that our body responds with by a flinch, quiver or chilling groan.

Something inexplicable upsets our essence
with the grating like an off key singing voice
while possessing a haunting and eerie disquieting sensation
as it slithers into those secret crevices of our mind
where the soothing light of reason seldom travels.

It happens when we detect that steady, ghostly chorus
in soft, fleeting tones from no visible origin
sending heart tremors throughout our nerves
with that feeling that perhaps some unnatural force
may thrive in the dark concrete crannies and cracks
waiting for discovery.

Suppressing our natural anxiety and fear
one pauses in the chill of a magical midnight
being utterly alone and away from distraction
so one can simply listen to the vague vibrations
from unseen energy and life force
that have bled into a city's canvas of steel and brick.

In the presumed staleness of eve's quiet
the paralyzing silence slowly grows into a throbbing ache
where phantoms come to life in our head
from somewhere beyond this world's reality
and in the process one struggles to close the door
to another realm we fear to visit.

FINDING HAVEN

This for me is different than heaven. It is a rest stop or sanctuary from the storms of life. It is never intended to be perfect or even permanent. The purpose is more to regain one's strength, find inspiration or otherwise let one's soul replenish what life and reality often drains in many ways.

But the goal is never to replace heaven. It can never serve to be a form of shelter that keeps life from following its normal course.

Still, even if we know this that doesn't keep us from racing for havens we hope will somehow turn into a heaven. We might not voice that intention, even if we are thinking it, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who has toyed with that thought.

A haven can be anywhere that brings peace to our insides. On a spiritual level God isn't restricted to some house of worship to provide such haven. There might be some that look at it that way, but it isn't the Lord who makes such requirements.

It is true that a house of worship can be a place of haven and inspiration. But we just can limit God to such locations.

The Lord is of course everywhere since he is omnipresent. And we have examples of him revealing himself to people such as Moses and Abraham in places other than a house of worship.

But that doesn't mean that a house of worship has no value. God did have the people of Israel built the tabernacle and then later the Temple. So have a central place of haven and worship is important.

It just isn't the only place where God can be found or one can find a haven. Basically, to me I think the most important part is that we find the Lord as part of the haven.

Some would seek peace in terms of a haven apart from the Lord. They would search the path of inner satisfaction without ever acknowledging God in the process.

They might even achieve some transitory form of quiet, but without honoring the reality of the Lord such a reward will always be hollow to some degree. However the person won't always acknowledge.

When God is center to the haven wherever it is located the affect from my point of view is far more complete and fulfilling. It touches more profoundly and deeply because with the Lord the purpose is far more complete since it is partially meant to bring one closer to him.

Only a follower of the Lord who is touched by the Holy Spirit will come to understand and appreciate that connection. And because it is important, then we need not allow ourselves be lured to the havens of mankind's value alone that some claim are a heaven on earth. In the quiet of reflection God's spirit will speak the loudest to our soul even if those who aren't believers only hear the wind.

THE LAST FEW STEPS

It has been said that the longest journey begins with a single step. Suggesting that you can not go on any journey till you take your first step. It might be an obvious comment, but it is still very true.

And as important as that first step happens to be, the last few steps are also very important. Especially, when speaking of steps of faith.

So often trusting the Lord includes trusting him for a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. And if one faints in terms of giving up before finishing that journey of faith whatever was meant to be reaped never happens. Quitting almost always ends in such situations without experience any kind of victory.

Still, God in his grace will sometimes be longsuffering and if we failed or quit in a given situation he will grant us another. Or if it involves being called in some way he will provide a different avenue for the completion of his will.

However the first occasion is gone and never gets a chance to be repeated. That is the reality.

I have no doubts most people have a few of those moments in their lives. And when standing before the Lord I'm also aware he will show us those moments and also what might have been if we have summoned the courage to have been obedient.

There is too the reality that Satan also knows when God calls us to a given path of obedience. He will put as many obstacles as possible to keep us from finish a given path. That becomes even more oppressive at times during those last few steps.

What isn't always appreciated is even when one has reached the end of a given valley the last few steps last beyond that point. And the devil is aware of it too.

Which is why it is so essential to keep walking with the same spirit of trust once that valley ends. More than one person becomes so inclined to change their pace or even stop once that moment is reached. That is the time when in our confidence we are more inclined to be vulnerable since we think we have the victory. Far too many saints have faced disasters at that point from not maintaining the same level of vigilance.

Those are in reality the most crucial and significant of steps in that regard if we understand it. And if we don't remember it believe me Satan won't grant us any mercy in the process.

Plus if we forget or alter our level of trust we can end up in the process losing our strides of trust. I've seen that on a different level when I have seen someone at the gym who stopped exercising and then tried to start over. The mind still thinks they are in the same shape, but the body knows different. More than one person has not been able to regain what they lost in terms of fitness. Thus on a different level it can be with faith. When we are alive and trust our faith muscles grow. When we stop it is so easy for them to grow weak and starting over can be so difficult. Hopefully we will take the last few steps as needed and not pause to look back from too much pride.

NEARLY THERE

Close is the vision that comes just before the valley ends. It is the place where we hear that inner voice of reassurance whereby our exhaustion is touched with a desire to keep going.

How many times I have personally found myself at this type of place in my life. When you are vowed in your spirit to keep trusting even when you fail, the travels by faith become a journey that never ends till we are at the point we stand before the lord.

I still remember long ago one bible teacher pointing out how the life of faith was one where the longer you trusted God the greater the challenges you will face as testing of your faith. I wasn't sure I actually believed that at one time, but the longer I live I have to admit that more true I have come to appreciate it really is.

Now to the world that only translates life by rewards, they will probably never understand how the valleys that one goes through the longer you live as a follower of Christ really do serve a higher purpose. And sadly there are Christians who seem to see life the same way.

In reality I think it comes down to those who want to avoid pain, which is an understandable desire. And thus in the process they bring themselves to a point where they gravitate to the prosperity doctrines. Those that promise you can have your heaven on earth if you just trust God enough.

The reality to me is every life is different. And the Lord to me has the right to deal with each of us as he feels is correct. That includes such things as testing our faith in ways that will not always make us look impressive to others.

Perhaps that is part of why some people when brought to that nearly there place love to treat the journey as complete. The journey may not actually be finished just because you can see the end of the valley. Nor does it mean that you will know for sure where the journey will end either.

God still has the right to alter the path if he desires. We can reach the end of one valley and immediately end up in another valley. Not all the time, thank the Lord, but sometimes.

Nearly there to me is a blessing that allows me to catch my breath. It is a moment of touching that graces with a special joy. It tells me quietly that I have at least been on the right path.

None of which will matter to those who haven't had to take such a journey. They will in some cases offer up all kinds of reasons for why you deserve the path you are forced to follow. Guilt always figures in there somewhere. Which is almost a major hint that the spirit of God is not the one inspiring their behavior. But regardless of those who discourage, we have the joy of having the Lord grant us strength to keep plotting along in faith.

THE DIN OF NIGHT MURMURS

They only sing with a timbre heard deep in the soul
that our body responds with by a flinch, quiver or chilling groan.

Something inexplicable upsets our essence
with the grating like an off key singing voice
while possessing a haunting and eerie disquieting sensation
as it slithers into those secret crevices of our mind
where the soothing light of reason seldom travels.

It happens when we detect that steady, ghostly chorus
in soft, fleeting tones from no visible origin
sending heart tremors throughout our nerves
with that feeling that perhaps some unnatural force
may thrive in the dark concrete crannies and cracks
waiting for discovery.

Suppressing our natural anxiety and fear
one pauses in the chill of a magical midnight
being utterly alone and away from distraction
so one can simply listen to the vague vibrations
from unseen energy and life force
that have bled into a city's canvas of steel and brick.

In the presumed staleness of eve's quiet
the paralyzing silence slowly grows into a throbbing ache
where phantoms come to life in our head
from somewhere beyond this world's reality
and in the process one struggles to close the door
to another realm we fear to visit.

IN THE LIGHT OF SIGHT

Light might give one an easier chance to see than in the darkness, but one can see on a clear bright day and not truly have sight. The light that casts its influence into the soul is of a different nature than the one that shows us the obvious.

In the scriptures the Lord is called the Light of Life, which has multiple meanings. He grants the type of sight to see what is universally true and also deeper spiritual truths. Those lacking the power of the Holy Spirit will not always be able to appreciate such light.

What is interesting to me is how often I've know people who were faithful church goers and claimed to be followers of the Lord, but they didn't have a clue as to anything that was truly spiritual. Essentially there sight was blurry at best when you are talking about on the spiritual level. It was compounded by pride so you could never expect them to accept that time spent pew sitting did earn them any real spiritual maturity.

For myself I have found the issue of light and sight to at times be frustrating. God has endowed me with certain gifts of insight that I might serve him. It isn't me that is special nor did I do anything to earn such a calling. It was just a matter of God's choice.

And I never regard being called in such a way as a position of privilege. Nor do I look upon it and feel it is a form of power that I have a right to use for my own gain.

Instead, I have been humbled enough in my life I think that I simply try to be obedient when God lays it on my heart to share some light with another. It is enough to have passed it on. I don't need praise or reward. At least that is my feeling.

Yet when you deal with others who are not so called they often seem to react by presuming your desire is to threaten whatever power they have in a church. They will smile and pretend to be friendly, but the whole time they plot behind your back.

Such is the nature of those who are more inclined towards serving the Lord on their terms rather than by faith. They apply their values to your actions and naturally get defensive in the process.

I am grateful that God in his mercy opened doors for me in places where I could share what I felt he wanted me to share without having to tolerate the politics of religiosity. That for me has truly been a blessed.

Admittedly following such a path is something other than a trail that is popular. It is one often traveled alone in the eyes of others. But the good news is that the Lord is there and sometimes that is more comforted and joyful than any other source of companionship.

So I plod along the paths set before me. Not in the limelight and I doubt in the eyes of the world it will matter. However, with the Lord his light will always give more joy than the darkness some think is light.

MORE JOY, MORE TEARS

Can one truly know more joy without more tears? It is like asking if you could know love without also truly knowing hate?

I think perhaps that no matter how cruel it might seem there are times when God using suffering to teach us. I didn't say we necessarily love the lesson or feel at the time we benefited from it, but it is a method God truly does use to help bring us to the point he wants us to be.

Would life truly have the passion and let our faith grow if we lived in some sterile climate where things never changed for the better or worse? It is something that I wish were otherwise, but it isn't.

I didn't say I always enjoy the lesson, merely that I accept it is part of what we must endure. Sadly, I think it is a legacy of life that is part of all existence, not just the element necessary for those who trust to the Lord.

So we cry a river, we praise with our hearts, hopefully with good times and bad. At least that would the ideal, but I doubt most of us if we are honest can say that is always our response.

Life in God's eyes transcends the now. It moves towards a greater destiny. What is awash in our souls from the temporary bleeding is but a heartbeat compared to eternity.

Yet that is easier to say than live if your personal suffering is so much greater than your neighbors. I feel at times God tests our hearts by our attitude towards the suffering of others.

The more indifferent and calloused we are towards the infirmity of others, the more we can face the same trials ourselves. God will visit upon those with the capacity and calling to ease a burden, but refuse to do so a special harshness.

My opinion, but I have seen it happen way to often. And it is specialized. We aren't expected to bear every burden. But unto our lives a given responsibility is given.

That is seen in the parable of Lazarus and the Rich Man. I think it is a symbol of responsibility that speaks to all of us.

Only, I'm sure there are plenty of occasions that we don't respond. Which is part of what God covers through grace if we are forgiven by our faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior.

How often I've pondered the times that I've seen the cold, glutton hearts of indifference who could have made a difference in their affluence and refused to do so. And I understand, regardless of their excuse they will account for such actions and hard heartedness with the Lord. I also know that I too will face the same accountability. And that is the one responsibility that for me is the most important.

OPEN YOUR HEART

Can I ever let the delicate petals of my suppressed love
flower into the more than a wilting, decaying blossom?

Will I always leave it dying
while swimming upon the waves of greed
or wading through the surf of sins
to get lost upon a carnal, tempest ocean
as a lethargic and napping unfeeling creature
lacking the compassion to let mercy be more than a word?

Then in my last gasp of pure emotions the sky calls to me
as my savior's voice comes
like a melodious and dulcet wave song.

Beckoning to rescue my sinking and dying soul
from the riptides of vanity and lust
till his spirit cleanses my pain
leaving me a life preserver of faith.

Then I return to the sands of my naked and bruised shoreline
joyously picking up the tender rose of caring that I had discarded
as his spirit's power at last brings life anew to my deepest grains
freeing me from the waters of emptiness and abandonment
where I was adrift without purpose or feeling.

All occurring from my lord's unseen touch
as only he can truly make us feel
beckoning the dam of selfishness to burst
while we hear that heavenly whisper
open your heart.

HIDDEN VALLEYS

Looks good is a comment that we can say when we presume there is promise in a place we have to walk. And there are so many times that first impressions suck. At least in terms of the future.

One appears full of blessing grows painful and dark. Storms come and we are pressed by the accusing inner voice to ask "where is God."

With this type of posting I am reminded of the people of Israel as they struggled in the wilderness before losing faith completely when faced with the promise land dangers. What unfolded during that wilderness experience was a testing of their souls. They tried to put God to the test in terms of keeping his word. But in the end it was their hearts that got examined.

It is so easy when life takes a nosedive to doubt God's faithfulness to his word. And it is also easy to get upset when we presume that our path when follow the Lord should be one where he does more to make it easy.

Only in reality it doesn't work that way. God doesn't spare us the problems of life. For example when the people of Israel were in the desert he didn't rain a bunch of Air Conditioners on them or make it snow to spare them from dealing with the heat.

The backdrop of faith is that it is set in a realm where we walk along with those who have no faith. He doesn't let us grow wings to fly over the land.

Why? It is a hard question to answer in some ways. I think it is in part because he does desire to not put us in the position where he somehow makes us different in terms of life's experiences than the rest of the world.

The reason is simple. If he did somehow spare us from the heartache of life there would be those that sought him out just because it meant being spared the pain of life. How that would truly benefit others is questionable. For God wants us to follow him for the right reasons and not because we are tempted by some chance of an easy life.

So the parade continues. We follow the path of life that others follow. We are given strength to fight the problems of life, but not a life absence those challenges.

I find it interesting that among the promises to the tribes of Israel was the one that they would have shoes made of iron and brass. Basically they would have shoes capable of enduring the long hard journey. God could have avoided that need by sparing them the trip altogether, but it isn't how the Lord works.

It might be popular with some to imagine life without hardship. Some even preach it. But in reality the path of faith is one that walks along with the rest of life and not alone with not risk common to all men. Our choice is within the means to be listening to his word and promise and not the complaints of every man.

DESTITUTE LONGINGS

To ache for the impossible might seem like a futile exercise. Yet, how does one purge themselves of dreams?

Personally, I think there is an element to dreams that comes from other than our desires or any other motive or issue. That since we are more than flesh and blood it seems only natural that the spiritual side of life would intrude upon dreamland in some cases.

And in the process I think desires also come into our thoughts and soul that we don't always understand. Which is okay as long as we appreciate this element of our essence.

I think to me the thing that separates us in that regard from the ordinary thoughts is the element of what relates to something clearly not possible in this life. Such things as flying or imagining other worlds is not drawn from this life.

There are explanations that are given for such symbols in dreams, but what if in part they also arise from some part of our beings we don't always understand or appreciate? I'm not trying to venture too far into some abstract or absurd presumption, merely suggesting that when we have an urge we can't totally understand there may be a reason beyond what we know.

I feel God does, if we are receptive and sensitive to the vocabulary, speak to us through a variety of means including dreams. And because if we are follows of the lord our future is his presence I think we can easily have heaven intrude upon that part of life.

It doesn't have to necessarily be something we will understand in this life. Nor is it necessarily that we do.

But I do feel that if the inspiration or dream comes from the Lord, the desire that follows will be positive and not negative. It will not corrupt or produce pride.

Unfortunately, some people don't submit their feelings from such experience to such standards. They may end up confused or resisting what was meant for good.

This isn't about salvation of course. It is about the fullness of spirituality in this life. Some simply deny themselves a chance for the type of joy that comes when we allow God's spirit to give us light in the midst of some inexplicable longing.

I have seen those who resisted such longing for fear of being ridiculed if they shared. They become souls without guidance. Spirits of nearsighted vision who are unable to rise above a certain level of thinking.

We move gently in the domain of sandman touches. It is shear and fragile and a place of wings instead of feet. Hopefully, we can listen when needed and accept what is meant for us in the process. Then the winds of desire will be helpful and not confusing from our urging to quiet what we hear without our ears.