BURNING GARLANDS

It is the lilting lure of light that fills the mental ink well
in the dialogue of radiance's metaphors,
spoken as flaming epilates of images
wrapping themselves like burning garlands around my mind.

From the first poignantly bedecked and bleeding rays of dawn
to the noon's fiery razor crisp knife
that sculpts the shadows of a day,
I feel intensely their flaring figment jewels scorching my brain.

And as night slowly unveils is darkening chasms of mysteries
each pinprick of electronic magic yields a possible tale,
as does the lightning flicks of neon aura songs
strumming my thought strings with their visionary alphabet.

Then the muse, so eternally possessing,
awakens the timeless ears of universal meaning,
she has faithfully passed to each of her offspring's generation.

Till the words explode in my head
through her caressing tentacles of inspiration,
creating little volcanoes of passages
erupting in a verbal lava I can not quench, nor ignore,
until they are released by my fingertips upon a parchment
scrawled in the flurry and blur of maddening seconds.

I am victim bruised intuitively,
I am predator devouring sight and scents,
in flashes from imagination's sprite that are so gloriously sublime,
who drips them deep inside as tinkling verse droplets,
truly rapturous and wonderfully divine.

TOXIC PEWS

One can feel an essence of spirituality from the Lord anywhere. But for some a house of worship is the place they seem to feel it the most.

And it is so wonderful when that happens. The heart can fly so and the spirit feel the presence of the Lord to such an intense level.

Which I think is the way God intended us to be touched. To be able to move into that deep moving swirl of consciousness that can lift one to only see the Lord in the middle of our cares.

That ought to be fellowship. It ought to be where we travel. And it is oh so glorious when we do reach that point.

Unfortunately zeal and passion to seek God can turn toxic if the person guiding you has a private agenda. It can twist your mind with a facade of self righteousness till you can't see as God intended.

Through the portal of ethereal chimes we are drawn to find and celebrate faith and the Lord. In the pews we sit and listen that our hearts might find what will fill the voids we always accumulate.

Then comes the moment of choice. Surrounded by the icons of spirituality we hear the inner still voice.

But what does it say? Do we balance it with light that only God can give? Sometimes it is hard to tell for sure.

However, God is more that pillar or pew. He is not the sum of other's faces. Till we embrace all that he is, we can not touch what will rise us from our ignorance.

Then when the moment churns and we truly burn inside for the truth, we are lead to the real pews. The ones where we are taught by God according to his will.

Among the moments passing, we fly a thought or two. We swim in the river of assumption, hoping not to drown.

Blessings kiss our fated life when angels shadow our misleadings. A quiet come in the moment bright as halos surround us that we only sense.

Partaking is a matter of breath. A place to visit that we've never been. Walking towards the horizon predestined. Knowing joy we thought would never become.

Happy the day is with us. Pews now within and without. Let us savor every step, till Shiloh comes in own reflection. That is the legacy we embrace when we find the pews God grants with grace.

OVER

The alarm clock can be a cruel device. It barks at us at times when we really would rather sleep. But regardless of its cruelty, we still learn to live with its presence.

In life there are different types of alarm clocks that affect us in life. Some we control and some we do not.

And knowing this so often we are prone it seems to come to a point where we want to shut a given clock off. It just feels so good when we can have a sense that a given problem or crisis in life has stopped being an issue in our lives.

Now there is nothing I think than the times when we think a given problem is over and it isn't. Even more so if we tie it to a spirit aspect.

We sit and pray and come away totally convinced that a given situation has been dealt with as we prayed by the lord. We walk confidently towards the future convinced that our present situation is over.

Oh we are so convinced things are perfect. That we are on a new and better path. We hear the birds singing, the sky looks extra beautiful and life is perfect.

It all last right up to the point that reality taps us on the shoulder and we discover the alarm clock we shut off is ringing again.

Then comes the way that alarm keeps ringing and we find out we can shut if off at all. This is not the type of reality we necessarily enjoy.

There is a difference the times that God turns off an alarm clock and we do. There is also a big difference between our ability to accept this fact and its truth.

Moving beyond our own limitations can be a challenge. To see with new eyes and old situation is never easy.

God touches and guides. He leads us to places for our understanding. Only he won't force us to embrace the truth.

So when the clock we threw away, ticks again. We can either accept it or reject it. We just can't ignore it.

God's alarm clock doesn't use electricity and doesn't require batteries. But it will wake us up in due time.

Hopefully the wake up call doesn't come when we are still naked in our thoughts and unprepared to be dressed by his will. For it is hard to always appreciate the clock is ticking when you are too worried about shutting off the clock. And if it is God's clock, that part it really difficult.

AURA GAZES

Becalm, the wishful surge of beckoning gasp
ever leading to those secret night strokes that never last.

Open the wisdom of an inner bosom's beauty so glistening
stirred by the tingles felt as an ethereal whispering.

Rise by soul plumes towards the dawn's drenching call
creating the sense of angelic nature within us all.

Learning to see light's purest refraction in clarity
in the silhouetted woeful tales of disparity.

Beyond the seeping outlines of mortal mar
we each lust to be the essence of a perfect star.

BEGINNING AT THE ENDING

We know from scriptures that God knows the end from the beginning. He already knows what is going to happen. And being able to do so allows him the power and ability to make perfect choices.

We, however, aren't so blessed. Oh it might be beautiful to avoid certain mistakes in life by knowing how things worked out in all situations. Or that is to say, to be able to know for sure the given consequences good or bad to all our choices.

That never happens though. We don't have that option. We can seek the Lord's wisdom in prayer and truly listen with our hearts and souls. But we are still human and do make mistakes.

Perfection is God's essence in part, but not ours. And we do look back to see how the beginning was so different than the ending, it can affect us on so many levels.

It is wonderful to look at a starting point and try to see where the path will end. To be able to predict destination we will reach so we can set our gauge of hope.

I can't think of the number of times I have imagined a given horizon lie at the distance and then discovered it wasn't true. I have prayed about it, visualized it, even felt God answer me in some affirming way.

Then reality turned out totally different than expected. Nothing became as expected. Confused doesn't begin to define my feelings in such cases.

Yet, do I still reach out to trust to the Lord. Despite the times my eyes fail me and I do not understand or read the signs correctly, I don't feel inclined to see that as God's fault.

Nor do I think God is to blame for me letting my desires corrupt my thinking. It is so easy to seduce oneself with excuses for our actions.

None of that makes us any less forgiven if we are trusting to Jesus as our Lord and Savior. If god made stupidity and mistakes a type of unpardonable sin then none of us would ever be saved.

I am grateful most of all for the mercy of grace. It is a message I have to remember so often.

Every time I feel alone. Every time I think I know all I can know, God reminds in some special way, I am not him.

It can be embarrassing at times. It can be hard to face that truth. But facing it does grant us more joy in the long run than all the lies.

That is the blessing that comes most of all. When we listen for the truth instead of lies.

DREAMS

There aren't a lot of things in life it seems where close is really perfect. And when it comes to dreams, man do any of us like close enough?

So we wander that wilderness of life at times, hoping upon hope heaven waits to be found somewhere we haven't yet looked. It is a dream we can hope works.

And when our expectations get out of line, we naturally invent tales of possibilities to second guess how some event will unfold. That almost always ends with disappointment.

For now one can always know the heart of God or his plan so perfectly that we never make mistakes. We see things too often draped in those veils of our desire. It blurs our vision and can make us have totally unrealistic expectations.

And then God displays his wisdom by shining some light into our eyes. He shows us his will.

If we are willing to be trusting enough, then once we get beyond the point where we can feel disappointment, time can hopefully let us see the rainbow in our darkness. That is the more or less that we have to struggle with.

I can't think how many times in my life I've look at something, so sure of the outcome and not even been close. It can so hurt when you feel the pain of how what you wanted the most out of life won't happen.

And I wish I could say that I always saw the wisdom of God's will in some situations. But there truly have been times when it just never has made any sense how something unfolded.

I'm going through a situation like that right now. I came to a threshold of change that totally was like being struck by lightning.

My mind raced toward certain conclusions. For a while I was totally convinced my dreams that had died long ago would come true.

That changed yesterday. It was so crushing, yet somewhere in all the heartache I did manage to remember God is still God. That his word is eternal and I have followed that path and do not plan on abandoning it.

But along the way, you do stumble. You do have the precious time to heal and recoup. That is one part of more or less that will always burn bright enough to hopefully keep us warm.

So I sit tonight, penning this posting, heart heavy in part from the sadness of yet another heartache detour. Still doing what I can to trust to my Lord's hands as the ones that always know best.

CALM

This is such a wonderful word. And even better when you experience it. The idea of being calm no matter what is at times associated with being mature. If it is part of the definition then I know I'm personally not that mature.

I think we all have varying times of achieving calm. Some better than others. They are fleeting of course. Never intended to last.

The Lord's spirit has the power and ability to drape us with calm. It can soothe in times of pain and suffering, it can give light, but it will always help in a way that in part touches us with the sense of God's reality.

However, we approach it often only from our own needs. We want an end to pain, but we don't always want to see harps and haloes as part of the cure.

But again to find the path that reaches to the plateau beyond our own dimension of thought can be difficult. For God's garden is so foreign to many of us in terms of what really grows there.

We can smell the fragrance of his heavenly blossoms. Be enriched by the scent, but still forget who is the gardener.

Others will not even bother to remember it is God who owns the garden of sensations. They will visit and think it exists just for them.

I'm speaking of course of taking the gifts of the Holy Spirit for granted. To sit and inhale the beauty and think it is a blessing only intended for you or some kind of reward.

Some will never learn that God's love is for all, it is not a reward. However, that doesn't keep people from viewing it that way.

And then when they are caress by some aroma of calm, they thing they stirred the wind to cause the scent. Rather than accepting it is a give from God.

For we are driven by his wind, fueled by his light, never to dress a day in our own will. To wander where his spirit leads will bring those precious moments of true calm.

They are never meant to be heaven no matter how much some try to make it so. Like so many elements of spirituality we can always misread the purpose.

At the core, the calm grants us the focus to hear his voice. It affords us one more chance to listen when he touches with more opportunity to see how much we can truly touch him.

That is a calm which helps one's faith to grow. Providing, we hear what he is saying and embrace it as intended.

SHALL I COLOR THE RAINBOW

Shall I color the rainbow
in the vibrant hues of perfect dreams
till they shine in dazzling auras
like brilliant , precious jewels
made from the lustrous gemstones
of my mind?

Can I stir the well of churning memories
until is overflows
with images profound,
quenching a parched and withered soul
though literary leaked droplets
from the richest of magic's mood elixirs,
flooding the heart's creative canals
as waves, sublime and leading?

It all begins
before that fated dawn of inspiration's restraining
where one slept in the crippling crypt
surrounded by a listless stench of imagination's constipation,
leaving one without a candle of words
to guide beyond
a stupefying vigil in impotent finger flutters.

Rise in the jubilant laughter of newborn anticipation,
filling the muse within
guided by an infusion of intuitive light,
savoring again, invention's healing wind.

IN THE RAFTERS

One doesn't have the strength live in the rafters of thought forever. However, as lofty our capacity to see life, the reality is that we can't focus on it with such a power as to avoid the rest of what surrounds.

And the rafters are that place where we our sheltered from exposure to the elements of reality in such a way that it doesn't distract our vision. So we can concentrate in our minds on hearing and seeing with more than our eyes. It is a haven of meditative ability that truly can result in enlightenment when one's mind is focused on the Lord.

Which can truly be a very refreshing and exhilarating experience. Providing one is there to learn and not hide. Rafters being in such case the shelter that works for us and where we are lead by god.

Some only think of that in terms of a house of worship. But God is everywhere and he isn't limited to just bringing us to a dawn of unveiling the truth in a house of worship.

In fact if a given house of worship is too consumed with its own form of distraction it might even work in a negative way in terms of inspiration. There are the places that only want you to see what they decorated. They want to see the ornate rituals they use to mask their desire to control you. They want you to savor their scent of wet paint they insist is so heavenly.

All of it might be true. But there are times when it will in reality drain one's energy. If you are swayed into seeing only a rafter that is one person's opinion rather than painted by God's light it can truly confuse.

Sadly some get so discouraged or hurt by such a process that they confused the acts of man with the will of God. It is easy to do.

That is part of the reason why it is important to see the rafters as only God can inspired. Too many fail to grasp how it is important.

It is that realm of ultimate oneness where God opens your heart and prepares you soul in a special way. It can be a truly moving experience.

But you have to let the Lord inspire and not be distracted by racing to look at whatever in our zeal we figure is the view we are suppose to see. That always takes away from the experience if it doesn't ruin it altogether.

Our fingers laced in focus of the moment. Able to surrender our strength so we feel the oneness of unity that is in harmony with God's purposes.

Only to those who have caressed such moments will the understand the value of rafters that heal and guide by the Lord's hands. Other will simply find the shadow a place of comfort to hide from the truth.

FESTERING DESTINY

I going through one of the strangest episodes of my life at the moment. Like many people so gifted it isn't unusual for me to have dreams that are prophetic in nature. The only thing that I never know is a time frame.

For many years I was haunted by this one dream. It involved a major change in my life that would come about. One of those sculpted by God that I couldn't control.

The only thing is that is just seemed to impossible for it to become a reality. So I just wrote it off as a fantasy. And as time passed and nothing happened it just seemed more and more like that was the fact.

This last week, circumstances changed and all of sudden, I found myself now living this dream. Believe me when the Lord unveiled my eyes and reminded of this fact it shook me to the bone.

I can't speak for the future or if what I saw will happen the way I completely envisioned it. I just know elements came about that I never expect to occur.

God does bless us at times with such messages. And whether we are willing to accept them is up to us.

But I do believe what is important is to remember that God is not confined by time or other things to make that dream a reality. It can take a lifetime or more to occur.

I for one am still reeling over this latest change. It will bring a new form of joy into my live and yet some trauma too.

I do feel that God is loving when our spirits are told of a change, then he will make sure understand it when it happens. Providing we spend more time listening to him and less time trying to analyze it for our reasons.

Perhaps seeing such dreams is not part of your experience. If not , the question remains as to whether or not he has touched in some other way.

Only a person's soul can witness to the reality with God's help. Some will listen, others will not.

We travel the sod of consciousness at times not full awake. When we are weak and stumble, we don't always get up as we should.

But the lord in his grace still is with us. He touches no matter who much we are confused.

Hopefully what blooms in the process is beautiful and creates light. Shadows are the realm of those who refuse to see.

ARISE

Arise, the sleeping tingles of my hobbled heart strokes
forced to slumber in the noon's starkness of blunt occasion
when the mind becomes a smothering cocoon of numbing quintessence.

But then arrives the welcome eve to seize the senses
with its ebony sheet to outline the mazes of paved foundation
where we play the "what if" games of veiled mysteries imagined
allowing our orbs to feel all the pinpricks from the little blisters of illumination
erupting on the sea of black as premeditated, bleached concrete isles .

Like ice bergs or towering blocks of salt
they paint the brain in a majestic allure of solidity and magic,
enticing amid the vivid etchings of asphalt and concrete
through soft, sweet installments of haunting brushes against the eyes.

A journey through the silent behemoths of citadels
catches us in our waning luxury of gaze
till we can dance in our souls,
welcoming another fairy tale pearl for the mind,
uttering myths to ourselves about enchanting dark worlds
where secrets kiss one's veins.

So we wander the aliveness of lamplight protrusions
seeing more among the alabaster buffet and neon ribbons
than observed with less focus during all the rays of the daystar.

Visions of brick giants lumber through our consciousness' nocturnal story
giving us their lingering hugs of ambience
hinting at some perfect land of taboos
that might be hiding behind shadowed doors.

BETWEEN THE PILLARS

Looming shadows fall on all shoulders. Pillars of power have shadows that fall a great distance. You can't ignore them or their meaning. They are everywhere.

But we can avoid letting them control us to some degree. We don't have to allow them to keep us in the dark and unable to see the light.

God grants us spiritual eyes that can pierce such shadows. We can stand in the shade and totally see the light through the power of his Holy Spirit.

But it doesn't mean the ones in power who cast the shadow can see the light. For they are too consumed with the arrogance of thinking their pillars are forever and omnipotent, which they are not.

For those who remain able to let God's eyes touch them, they will not let the shadows keep them blind. Nor is it necessary to force those who think they are in control think otherwise.

There is a difference between having sight and knowing how to see properly. Some forget this and think the sight gives them strength to tear down the pillars. They forget that God built the pillars. Those he gives them too are being watched and will be judged by how they handle such power. Too many sadly in power do not give God credit for this pillar.

But it is up to the Lord to decide how the pillar remains and how sits on top. For those residing in the shadows, the sight is a pledge of hope. A repository upon which one has even more reason to trust God.

It easy to forget all of that at times. It is easy to assume one could improve the pillar or remove it in order to change the shadow or be able to leave the darkness.

However, that is not the purpose. Sometimes we just have to learn to walk where we are called and savor the moment accordingly.

To see what others never see is a blessing. But it should never lead to arrogance. If it does the vision loses its value.

Then one can end up with the vision growing dim to a point you can even see as well as before. The darkness of the shadows can become such a blindness. Only you just never have the ability to even notice.

Moving ahead from the shadows when following the Lord never is possible by one's own strength and vision. However, it is hard to always appreciate or accept that without God's help one is not better that the person who is on the pillar.

Light is only light when it brings the life intended. Some will never see no matter how hard they look.

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

To gaze beyond a single reflection and see the fire fuming within calls a voice not all can hear with time or practice. Tradition's veil masks so many minds till the can not fathom beyond the limitations of their own insecurities.

Some times the Lord sends a breeze of challenge to lift the veil. If we peek beneath it and see the images he wants us to know, then we are blessed.

But some merely close their eyes and never allow the moment to touch. They walk in circles of habit, afraid to step outsides its security for fear they will have to lost control over their pace. Thus is the sadness that is so appalling.

It makes so many victims who never even know they are wounded till their souls bleed to death of passions and life. And when the breath departs of energy and vigor they become a zombie of essence, stuck in a purgatory of their own creation.

Only some never even see the gates or cells of their self-imprisonment because of the darkness covering their souls. God's light shines through any darkness, but you stil have to have the ability to see the light.

For the precious view how open their hearts and pray for God's leading, this becomes the key to moving pass any imprisonment. However, it doesn't come on our timetable, only on his.

By the strides the soul can imagine we move from shame to grace. Do we find the a peace to cover what we fear will leave it naked if we don't cling to as truth or security.

Above it all, God is there and the Lord reaches down to encourage and empower. It is a new sunrise if we let it be.

Or a curse if we don't. That is in part the product of our choices. Only we do have to allow the time to bring us to the point of this creation. It is a new life for each of us.

Once we have face it. Life does remain in turmoil till the fables of our fears evaporate an we reach for God's hand in the distance.

Our Lord and Savior does bring to us the purity of this blessing when we embrace it by his leading. Then a moment is not lost to our ignorance or self-deception.

Being covered by the grace of God shall always be far more of a source of enriching than all the trappings and fuzz of manmade creations. They may warm, but the will not keep the cold of doubts and other forces from creeping into the soul.

Whether we can find the peace from a sincere gaze through God's looking glass will remain in part a question of how much we are willing to simply place our hand in the Lord's and trust him to guide us perfectly.

REASONS

Some people believe nothing happens by accident. There feel there is a reason for everything that happens in life.

I always felt such an approach to life is an attempt to see logic in all things. An effort to believe everything is controlled by some source.

For me the problem is that life has too many unpredictable moments. It might be commendable to be able to explain every thing in life so it makes sense, but I'm sure that sooner or later you are going to be wore out by the things that there is no clear meaning or purpose.

Some treat God as a god that controls everything. That nothing happens, which he doesn't give his permission or somehow cause to happen.

But God does grant us free will and with that free will he gives us the freedom, sadly at times, to do either good or bad. God truly does know all, but I don't feel most of the time he interferes in our choices.

I know there are times I wish he did. There are plenty of times in my life that I have made a real stupid choice and wouldn't have minded if God had slapped me up the side of the head to tell me it was dumb.

However, he doesn't do that. And at least knowing it allows me a chance to appreciate there is no benefit in playing that game, "if this is wrong, God will stop me from doing this." Trust me, that is a wonderful excuse, but it just doesn't help.

I don't feel God is uncaring or uninterested in our problems. And there are times when we all struggle to understand why there is so much suffering in the world.

I do appreciate though that often so much of what is wrong in this world is because it is flawed. This, I feel happened, when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden. It just resulted in upsetting the balance of life and allowed for all the problems of life to become a reality.

That might seem like a way to simple way of explaining things. And even if it is at the core of fact, it just doesn't work for some people.

Ultimately, some will look upon the panorama called life and see only what they want to see. Others will look at the detail and see the more than the evidence.

While eyes gaze at the world differently and we don't all see truth the same, we do know how truth shines by its own light. Regardless of the flame, if we look with the sight for the truth, we shall see clearly.

I pray we seek that for it is what will keep us warm. Then the Lord will be the most important reason of all.

BEYOND THE MIND'S HARBINGER ORB

Portals — caricatures of midnight's artist,
sculpted in demented, fun house images,
stalk the stage of slumber's service
through a foreboding, thunderous clap of warning.

Confused, by the metaphoric tangled thicket of tales,
one is haunted by the feeling they are more than a message,
till some crossroads of deja vu
inseminates the second,
driving the soul to a new reality of dialect.

Then, the lucid cerebral walkway of sensations
arches passed the towering array of mental mirages —
ebony edifices with their layers of epiphany
which speak their mesmerizing light
deep into every chasm of waking
from a reverie cove,
fluid in time and meaning.

They take one beyond a heartbeat's consuming,
through the looking glass passageway
and to the other side of the moon.

Somewhere, during another wisp of seconds
the mind reclaims the passport to that well of memories,
till spoken in the heart
is what was uttered to the spirit in future tense,
and we become one
with our universe.

EXTREMES

Mountains fill the heart. We let them build till we can sail the skies of our desires. Where does our heart lead that will bring us to a point of being more than a heartbeat?

There is a difference between extremes of passion and extremes of abuse. One can set a fire that races the hear to some point of purpose. The other only forces life down a path to ruin.

It is hard at times to always know the difference adequately. There are easy to confuse. For when one feels strongly, oh so fervently about something it can easily blind to when one's actions our not justified or rationale.

What makes the difference? What kills verses gives life? We can so surround ourselves with such questions without necessarily finding the answers.

I can't say I'm necessary and expert on this subject, but I do know that when we excuse our types of judging them wrongly, we never have the power to reach beyond the moment and find the appropriate stepping stone of light.

Where does that lead us will depend upon how we cope with the mistake. For it is a mistake and not a death knell for our spirit or lives.

In the mystery and confusion our hands can grow so numb from this process of groping by our own strength in a given direction without success. We try so hard, even to the point of bruises.

But in the end, only pain follows and not euphoria or healing if we are not willing to stop and let God teach us what we didn't understand. Then if we fail we end up doing it again.

So what shall we do? We start with the guiding light of prayer from a sincere heart that isn't praying a gimmie prayer. Those never get the answers we seek.

But instead, we our hearts are genuinely seeking God's ways, even if we get detoured then we can come to the crossroads we were expected to find. That will embrace us with a mantle that truly warms and will help us be refreshed.

Being human is not the absence of error. It is the possession of a conscience and letting its compass be used of god to help us know when our passions got in the way of his desires for our lives.

Then we can stumble and still get up facing the direction intended. Then we can savor the moment and no matter the error move ahead.

There is no disgrace in being wrong, just in the sadness of not accepting when we do and then moving passed such points of chalenge.

PRIMED

When I think of primed, I'm reminded of how with those old hand pumps you used to get water, you had to at times prime them first by putting some water in them to get them to work. Which in a way seems rather ironic since you are using up the very water you wanted in order to get more water.

Some things in life seem to need to be primed before they can work correctly. And I think at times even the human heart can be like that. Why is it when we get involved with some form of passion in terms of a past time that we think we can start out totally in love and happy with the past time?

That seems to be the way some people view the process. I see that every year at the gym. When January rolls around we get a whole influx of new members. They have made New Year's resolutions to change their lives. Which is truly commendable.

But the reality is that few, if any, manage to stay active at the gym beyond one or two visits. There is and always will be a big gap between our expectations and experiences. I merely mention the gym for example purposes.

I think though it is the nature of life and behavior in a great many areas of experience. We just aren't too keen on being babes in our experience. We want to have "arrived."

However, there are some things were there is no substitution for time in order to truly prime us for more. And no one understands that better than God.

There are a great many examples in scripture of those God took years to train before they were ready to serve him as intended. The time frame is completely different for different people.

Why we lull ourselves into thinking he would somehow deal with us differently is a question that can't always be answered easily. But it is a fact that have to at times appreciate.

Perhaps the most difficult time for many believers comes much later in one's life of faith. We reach a point we think by virtue of time invested and experience that we are far more knowledgeable and mature than we really are.

Then God will send a test our way and we discover we aren't the pillars of iron in terms of trusting him that we imagined ourselves to be. That can be a hard lesson to accept, but it can teach us so much when we do accept it.

Moving pass the regions of pride where we think we are little gods is difficult and for some impossible. But there are times God will not be "prime" our spirit for a new level of understanding if we haven't embrace what we should have accepted from him in the past. A well that is never truly used properly only ends up being of little value to anyone. Hopefully, we are willing to listen when he seeks to bring us to such a point of priming.

BLEEDING RAINBOWS

How many more ephemeral rays of a fleeting dawn shall I face
knowing the ravenous hunger from my famine of embrace?
Will my pulse truly throb because it is infused by the bittersweet parody
taking through daily injections of lies about a passion that died so long ago?

Each listless, illumined sheath of a new morn's unveiling
I force myself to exhume my mummified esteem
from loneliness' shadowy crypt,
where I languished with embalmed emotions
that transform into phantoms all the seeds of my imagined identity,
leaving me a decaying and dying shell of being
wandering as an anonymous zombie of morgue infatuated thought
among all the consumed faces I pass who can't even remember my name.

I feel utterly colorless of life's fervent kaleidoscope in desire
having become a consciousness so vacant and translucent,
helplessly disarmed of any compass guiding towards sanctity.

Alone, I am a mere specter and shell of being,
lacking any eyes to see amore's promise on the horizon
to grant me hope's umbrella for tomorrow's storm clouds of angst.

Their drenching pall
washes away the silt of expectancy about what might entice
creating instead a mental landscape abounding in an estuary of tears,
knowing any lusted for leprechaun of fate's magical portent
that might lead to a pot of gold from love's mint
vanishes beneath
a bleeding rainbow.

FOCUS

Why is it when we go blind in our thinking we find it so hard to admit it? Pride probably kills our capacity for confession.

I use to dabble in photography at one time. Focus was very important since nobody enjoyed looking at a fuzzy photograph.

But the thing is that while looking through the viewer, things often looked in focus. Then when I would get the pictures developed I would notice little things about the focus being blurry that I didn't notice earlier.

If we were perfect in thought and sight, perhaps we would always see the truth so clearly. However, we are not that perfect in any of our visions, so we sometimes make mistakes.

When we do, the test comes as to how we respond to our misunderstandings. That is the real focus of our soul's eyes.

It is amazing the people I know who never have the ability to admit they did anything wrong. It is always somebody else's fault.

That is rather like the person you work with who sternly comments how he or she never makes mistakes. They are basically shutting the door of confession and locking it so they don't have to deal with change or admitting to flaws.

None of that changes reality. None of it really improves life. All it does is force a person to dwell in denial and cling to the absurd as truth.

God will prod us so often into the light so we can see what is really in focus. The gaze can be painful at times. Too painful for some.

Which is why if one is lead into a valley of challenge and the landscape seems to hostile some will simply pretend it doesn't exists. It never improves the situation, just gives them an excuse to avoid facing what they see, but don't want to see.

Eyes can be dangerous if our brain can't accept what they see. For some the gaze only harms, it never heals as intended.

Perhaps one can't always improve one's insight. But one can try to let God focus our vision till it sees what he sees.

More than one person has been given a pair of God's spectacles. And sometimes they actually use them.

The hard part is not getting to discouraged when others who threw away their pair of specs, squints and says that monster you see isn't really there. Being blind and being wrong sometimes are companions in life.

WHERE MOMENTS CLASH

The stress points of choice can be such lime lights upon our real character. That doesn't mean we enjoy them though. It is so hard for face the truth about ourselves. Some spend a lifetime avoiding looking into God's mirror of truth. The gaze is just too painful.

This last week my wife and I were involved in a process of reporting this person for violations of the law. It was interesting listening to the investigator's comments about what the person had given as excuse for breaking the law.

Naturally, the person's excuse was that it was somebody else's fault. The individual couldn't deny having broken the law, but tried to justify it by claiming another person said such behavior was acceptable.

It was less than impressive lie. And I could tell the investigator was no more inclined to believe it than my wife and I. Plus it was complicated by the fact that this person had broken this same law, not once, but at least four times! How many more I have no idea, but we were aware of four separate possible incidents.

In the end though the excuses simply will not hold up against the truth that this person violated the law on several occasions. With someone more capable of self honesty such a moment of clash would bring an epiphany, but I doubt that will happen in this case.

I think there are often times when God does for our own sake bring us to such times that we might learn. They can be very painful, but in the long run very blessed too.

What a tragedy it is when a person clings to an illusion and lie while insisting it is the truth. And no matter the consequences, they are never to blame in their eyes for what happens.

What we can learn most of all is perhaps how in such situations our capacity for honesty if related to our ability to accept the idea of grace and salvation by faith. In my experience I have seen so many times when people living in denial chose to base their salvation on their on deludes sense of goodness.

That becomes so much like some type of mental chalkboard where you erase all the sins that get written by your conscience and hope nobody saw them. It is a cycle of avoidance that never truly leads to Christ.

For the person who truly basis his or her salvation on Jesus Christ, our salvation is never based on our worthiness. We know we aren't worthy and therefore there isn't any value in pretending we are other than sinners.

Time seizes the mind in gyrations of bargaining. We attempt to balance the scale of wrong by pointing out our so-called good deeds. But the very nature of sin is such that we can never do more good than bad. Hence the Lord's comment that there are none good, but God.

Some will try though. They will always race towards the shadows for the comfort of hiding from God's light. Even when by doing so it means they miss him and truth altogether.

AVENUES

Where does your heart race when you are sitting among the pillars and titans of drudgery? Can we truly hobble basic desires or do we really need to?

I ponder this more of late as I sit in the rut that is my place called existence. What I do each day is necessary and essential for my life. At least as far as I can sense in terms of God's will for my life.

But I have to confess that the periods of famine in the zest of moments and expectations does leave its own ache. And I imagine it is true for many people.

There is and always will be gaps between our desires and our sense of right and wrong. Part of it is the values we have enforced upon us as well as our own appreciation for what we should do.

None of that ever keeps us from wanting the forbidden. The battle comes not from surrendering to that war or claiming victory when you are fatally wounded in your will. That is the denial that leads no where victorious.

Yet, I have seen those souls with passions for life that have not found healthy outlets for them. You can see the haunting in their lives. They fight to suppress what they can not have for a variety of reasons. Making it a case of "sour grapes" does not ease the tension inside.

I have no miracle cures to offer as solutions for when those deepest and darkest desires of our lives burn in our veins and you can't control the fire. I only know that God isn't oblivious to such needs.

However, I do also know that God will not "bless" us by granting us some fulfillment of our desires by a means that is harmful to ourselves. Neither can I say that he will find a means to satisfy our hunger as we want.

God may have work a miracle and feed the people of Israel in the wilderness with manna, but it doesn't mean he will do that every time for every one. It served a specific purpose in that situation, to provide and also inspire faith.

But the abiding revelation for those willing to see is that with God there are no limits. He is God and that means he has the power to do what he desires. When applied to our lives it means it can change them for the good or bad in a heartbeat.

Still we have to be prepared to listen to his wisdom. Not to clutch with a gimmie, gimmie attitude as if our view of satisfying our need is the best.

When that ache burns inside, when we are feeling alone, uncared about and slowly dying from some form of unhappiness, it is the time to truly lean upon God for help. He can open our eyes in the most incredible ways to touches that will last and not scar. It, like with all things, is a matter of trust.

WARMTH

Gazing out the window towards a pristine tundra of bleached terrain,
with the freezing temperatures creating their icy vines upon the glass,
my insides shake from an hint of 'brrr'
that stings to the very marrow of my being.

But in the moment of inhaling Nature's wintry artistry
from the safe, seclusion of my hearth in toasty comfort,
my mind can't escape visions about menacing glacier dwarfs
bringing forth the ice cube taste of an artic blast,
making my aching bones feel like a snowman's limbs.

Still, I know there is always the flame that dances in my head
as I cling to memories of summer's sizzling hope,
before lighting the traditional candles of seasonal, festive rant
to keep smoldering the embers of magic and passion.

While I attempt to cushion myself from the frigid gnomes
my brain imagines lurking in the drifts
using blankets, fire and a bubbling froth,
within I sense a subtle tongue of snowy dialogue
hinting at how real heat for the soul
can not be chilled by any frozen brush of January.

Its vitality is most alive in the textures of a brisk, frozen faire
where warmth simmers more acutely in our consciousness,
giving life a greater story, despite the alabaster coldness,
till we breathe with the essence of the sun,
no matter the raging blizzard
outside or in.

ENOUGH

Enough is a curse word to the insecure. It is a toxin to the dreamer and a sin to the overachiever. Above all it is a nebulous fairyland that most of us are never sure if we have found.

There is no such thing as an adequate definition for the word that everyone would agree upon. Enough for some would not be the same as for others.

And more is also in that same realm. After all, to want more when you are rich is something totally different than when you are poor.

The one thing we do appreciate is that in this life more will never be an issue by the Lord that is treated with parity or equality. There will always be rich and poor. God never said that would cease to be a reality while sin claims its dominion over the world.

Still, what isn't answered by that reality is the issue of human responsibility. If we were so inclined I'm sure we could end such things as poverty in the world.

However, we know that too will never happen. But does it mean that it is wrong to accept a level of more in your own life while others starve?

That is a question that has many different opinions. We do know that if one hand was to give away all of its possessions it would not change the world entirely.

While one can debate with fervor and conscience the fate of the world and human responsibility, we do know our calling is not to save the world, but let God's light guide us as is our strength. That can be a simple has helping a single soul to healing an entire nation.

Error is the indifference that doesn't do what is the call upon the heart. It is turning a deaf ear to whatever it the Lord's leading as in so many other situations.

We ignite life in its meaning when we listen and obey. It is when we swim in the torrid and tempest river of life as is our inheritance.

It is not building a raft for ourselves that tries to let us see ourselves as other than part of the river. Some chose that path, but it is really God's desire?

There is never a single answer to all questions as they apply to the human heart. But we can with God's help find the answers he intends for us.

Then our hand becomes an extension of his spirit and he share the love he gives so freely to us, not in a contrive way, but with sincerity. What prevails is the simple and quite flow of God's will where his desires are more important than our ego.

When we see it clearly, there is blessing. When we feel it correctly, there is love.

BEYOND THE DARK LULLS

When the shadows of night thoughts swallow one's soul, it doesn't always have to end in tears. Even in a prison there are moments in between the torment when one is given a period of respite.

The darkness may not always be avoidable. Unlike the places that shine, evil creates a natural darkness and because sin does rule the world there will always be so many places it occurs naturally.

The problem is that darkness for the senses and soul can dominate in the middle of light. Some of the worst forms of darkness can occupy places where one thinks only light occurs.

To appreciate the darkness requires eyes to see with spiritual sight. This is not some ethereal gaze, but insight that senses when the origins of given power source are from the Lord and when they are not. It is far less mysterious or complicated than some perceive.

And ironically, some of those who make a big deal of boasting about having such abilities are often totally blind in terms of real sight. Many simply lack the vision so they depend upon thought or reason, which is never the same.

That is why there can be so many false teachers who fake things like miracles and yet can attract huge crowds. The people look only with their natural eyes and not their souls.

But beyond this obvious territory of darkness, there are the places marked by the devil, which he will make to appear as religious or spiritual. It is the message shared the counts. It is the one that you have to be able to perceived.

And for the true follow of Christ you can be sure there will be plenty of times you can find yourself in darkness some insist is a place of God. And the people there are so deceived, so utterly blind to the truth they will regard you as a stumbling block to the truth for not agreeing with their point of view.

Despite the chaos. Despite the curses and abuse inflicted upon the redeemed in such situations the good news is that God can still touch our lives.

And in the midst of all the lies and clamor from dark sources, God can comfort and give strength. Satan will seek to abuse, he will seek to make you question your faith and even salvation. He has no shortage of deceived he can send your way to shower you with criticisms and doubt.

But the great news is how God is in loving kindness will enable one in the darkness. He can strengthen. He will not remove the darkness in this life for it is a place of testing. But he will grant us the means to hear his voice despite the storm of evil that surrounds us. And then we can rejoice over his love, pray for those who think they are saved and are not. All the time knowing in Heaven there is the joy of being without darkness forever.

SUNRISE SNOOZES

I feast upon a luscious cake of toxic excuses,
savoring the icy goo of yawning euphoria
letting the nerve glue of lethargy
clog my blood of passions and purpose
till it mummifies any wishful strides that might inspire.

Another morn
have I failed to mourn the loss of self and life's fleeting pulse
content to sleep of soul and thought,
feigning vows that will never be kept
with lies about tomorrow promises.

SOUL CLOSETS

There is something so medicinal about the times of premeditated seclusion. Those rare moments were one finds a sanctuary from the world and is alone with one's thoughts intentionally.

Solitude enforcement through social banishment only creates a sense of isolation and loneliness that digs at your sense of self-worth. But being alone for the right reasons can be so refreshing at times.

In the silence or steady calm the mind is free from all the distractions that prevail during the clatter of life. Many people seek this time of refuge, but not always for the same reasons.

Some pursuit it as a form of cleansing, but their focus is getting away from it all. They might even regard it as a spiritual diversion, but it is one mean to touch their version of the soul, not necessarily to seek the Lord.

For me, keeping the Lord central in such moments is far more beneficial. The aloneness grants one a chance to listen. It means to really listen with both the heart and soul. It encompasses and touches in a special way and in the process the mind is painted with thoughts you might not otherwise experience or think.

There are some who feel a need to create some special retreat in order to achieve such moments. They will head off to some place of isolation such as the mountain or other retreat to seek this type of experience.

Those options are wonderful if they are available, but they aren't always practical. And it is admittedly hard to achieve in places like where one works or even at home if your life has way too many distractions or interruptions.

I think the soul bears witness at times to when we need this moments more than others. The heart is stirred to need more than chores and other pursuits that don't touch the part of us that is connected to the Lord.

Some try to filter such needs through Sunday morning at a house of worship. It can be beneficial in that regard, but it doesn't always achieve such purpose for a variety of reasons.

If one can't escape the routine, if one's life is too hectic with the symbols that constantly clash in their tones of chaos, then these moments of solitude smiles are even more precious. Finding them is not a chore though.

It may be difficult, but those are the times when we must listen the most to the Lord. For his spirit can point out in the obvious the place of refuge. We may overlook it so easily. And we will always know when we find it. That becomes a quest of choice. But when it is finished, the smiles are obvious.

VENTURING

To search with eyes no others see is to gaze within as if it were a universe. What harmony is gained when the stars of our reflections shine deeper in the night of our confessions than the comets of denial.

Once upon a time our heart roams among the clouds. But then, we become a mannequin in the richness of our values. Before we know it, life bleeds into a rut of expectations and we put both soul and earth in a jar.

It doesn't not cure the midnight strolls where scarecrows stalk the cornfields of our secrets. That wandering continues in our sighs and subtlety of lies we tell ourselves to claim everything is already.

Measure a day by the yardstick of breath and you get the fabric of a moment that will unravel in due season. Measure a day by eternity and you see where the gate to the pillars of wisdom lead to God.

Some speak the words they claim are from the Lord, but the are merely boastings. They serve to create a limelight and look at me gaze. But it does not heal.

Where we wander is a journey meant through freedom. It is not the one taken with shackles of conformity.

Can we speak and know what possesses more than gold? Are our lips capable of uttering the purest joy from Heaven's birth?

One wonders and then we can eventually wander, more approved in our thinking because we silenced all the dogs of bleeding who devour our hopes. Only God can rescue us from such calamity.

Only faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior will bring any resurrection of our consciousness for any social crucifixion. But we to must die, if only in our focus of priorities.

This is not magic, it is not solitude. It is acceptance. The shear point of confronting where we truly surrender and say I AM, and know the I is God, not us.

Sleep, oh soul, on the self-destruct path of supposed wisdom. Inhale instead what God would offer as gift in Christ.

In the end it is all that will be preserved. It is the halo and aura we are clothed in during eternity as a oneness of purest empathy where there are no distractions of the flesh to kill.

Be silence and rejoice. For those who come to the lesson's gate, there is happiness in the passage beyond the here and now.

It is just a question of whether we shall take the offering without condition. God brings us to that question, but we have to answer it.

THE CALMING

To learn a lesson from any mistake is generally far more beneficial than to learn nothing and keep making the same mistake over and over. Yet, I can think in my own life where I made some mistake and still made the same choice again. I tried to avoid the image on my forehead of the word "stupid."

There are, of course, many reasons we do things that are completely irrational and harmful to our well being. I'm grateful that despites such errors and flaws in our nature, God still grants us grace in so many situations.

That is providing such grace will in some way help to guide us eventually to the truth no matter how long it takes. Then all the chaos is given light by the power of the Holy Spirit and we can look back and say, "Thank you Lord, I get it now."

Without that light, without the pure touch of God's leading, there will never be any calm to the chaos. It just becomes another vicious cycle of sin that never ends in blessing. That doesn't mean we necessarily will react accordingly no matter how many times in the scriptures we see others take this journey with predictable results.

This last week was a very interesting week for me. I was contacted by this agency that I had filed a complaint with regarding this person I had done business with who ended up breaking the law. According to the investigator the person I did business with claimed to not be aware what the individual had done was illegal.

I don't think the investigator believed that excuse any more than I did. But now the investigator will begin the long process of sorting through the lies and facts to get to the truth. And this coming week when I meet with the person, I will certainly share the truth that I know.

What will happen ultimately is to me in the Lord's hands. However, I do have a feeling the person who was breaking the law and had been doing so for years, will not find any calm in the chaos.

Perhaps at some point God gave this person a chance to choose. I have seen that many times where he will place and obstacle to get a person to pause and rethink such behavior

In this case it didn't do any good. The person just keep following this willful path of sin. Now will come the sad time when instead of learning from the sin, there will only come consequences.

We all make mistakes and we all sin. But hopefully our journey leads at some point to other than more sin.

As with all of God's truths, some will embrace them and others will reject them. Sooner or later heartache comes to the one too stiff-necked and proud to listen when there is no other choice.