WHERE SHALL WE GO?

A fair question at times to be sure. The big void in finding meaning to something is not being clear on where is your destination.

That can be a major drawback to discovery. Not very surprising though. Way too often we do have that problem. A case of clarity in many ways.

What is important in such situations is to be able to learn to let the Lord lead. Now that might sound so contrived, but it isn't intended to be.

The problem is that to often we know all of that, but don't listen anyway. This week I had the misfortune of dealing with somebody who had this problem.

They were experts on knowing all the nice and wonderful words by rote of what it means to be spiritual. Only problem is that they were only words. Had no real meaning to the person.

Somewhere in the midst of learning them the person never once let them influence in any way. It was like memorizing the directions to get to a given location, but not making any attempt to get to the place.

That might seem strange, but I see it all the time. Just too many people who are such prisoners of their thinking to the point they can't accept what lies beyond their limitations.

Oh well, all you can do in such situations is prayer for such people. What is so sad is that they never in any way will ever see their darkness.

And the more they are inclined to see themselves as God's own, the more they will not listen. It is the nature of life.

That is the biggest pity perhaps. Such people never in anyway are able to in the least internalize the reality that something is wrong with knowledge you never apply in your life that was intended to be used.

They don't have that capacity. And never will. Such is the tragedy of thinking you know when you really don't

But life will go on and some will never learn their lessons as intended. God never promises to some how make that part of our lives.

It makes it worse when we resist too. That happens way too often. People just don't see it as resisting.

And they never will. For spiritual blindness is something that also blinds the heart. Which is a tragedy that never quite gets accepted as such from people content to like to themselves.

PAUSES

Waking among the rays of dawn
inhaling them with their serene message
as it flows so eloquently and warmly
into the spirit's depths.

Seeing with renewal
all the light that life shines,
feeling more enriched
than poor,
strolling each color
and intensity offered,
with new traces of the mind's fingers
having a rebirth of sensitive awareness,
till oneness balances
each second
in harmony with mother earth's
cradle.

Beyond it all,
rejoicing that one can pause
for the sake of discovering
a special gift
so unexpected and blessed,
coming from one of purest heart
of whom it can truly be said,
you are a sublime soul.

NOWHERE

I suppose if I really thought about this, there really isn't such a place as nowhere. Regardless of where a person is it is a place. However, I think it refers more to the fact that some places are in a location where it is out of contact with where we prefer to be. A island of solitude apart from the suburbs of conformity.

What makes it feel like nowhere is the lack of opportunity to be seen. No witness to appreciate the drama we write with our actions. So it feels like nowhere.

In reality, nowhere is a state of mind. A place we languish by choice. Whereas if we were to have the vision to see how this spot can quiet our thoughts and grant refuge from confusion then it becomes other than nowhere.

I am reminded of the number of times when the scriptures speak of God having those he called taken to some place of isolation. Not out of punishment, but for spiritual reasons. Chances to have a closer communion with him. And a time for reflection.

For without the intimacy of spiritual communion our souls often decay. It is so easy to occur.

Even the concept of worship time involved separation to some degree. Only in such communal climates part of the precious elements of union with God are missing.

On this particular day, as it happens, I am alone. My wife and son, along with his wife are all gone for a variety of reasons.

So I am left with my mind, soul and the computer to tend to what God brings into my spirit. Hardly complaining either.

Perhaps to some that would be nowhere. For me that is a joy. And for that I am grateful. For how could I truly write as God leads if at times I did have some quiet in the midst of my routine.

Not that I'm wishing this to be all the time. I am content for it to be a refuge, not a permanent state of existence.

But I don't feel sad over the experience. I relish my peace in these situations. And the chance when God grace in some special way.

Perhaps it isn't heaven, but it is a nowhere I can cherish. Then I do know how tomorrow it will change again.

I will adjust and savor when this time passes my way again. It won't happen enough to see as permanent. Just enough so I know it will happen on another day.

There is always a good time for prospecting for spiritual gold.

HAPPY ENDINGS

Aren't these wonderful? Oh yeah, I love when this happens. I just am so thrilled with the end of some problem comes with a smile.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if life had this all the time? Only the one thing we find is that doesn't happen most of the time.

A lot of people have spent a lot of time trying to figure that part out. And naturally you have those will look at any situation and try to find the happy ending even if it isn't there.

What really weighs on a person is when somebody who isn't going through the problem wants to tell you how everything is fine. Course it doesn't really help with they don't actually have a problem for themselves.

But you can pretty much expect such types of comfort don't always end up with thanks you if you are they are trying to encourage. Instead you are more likely to be less than grateful.

The question I have is can one truly find a happy ending when the problem ended in disaster? Are there times when there wasn't meant to be a happy ending?

Whether or not that is true, there are times when the obvious is not necessarily a situation that truly ends with smiles. And from my view that is reality. I didn't say it would make us happy, only that it is part of life.

What so often is the challenge to me is being able to focus on the long term happy endings. For the believer there is the hope and comfort of knowing eternity is always a happy ending.

How said it is to me to imagine those who turned their back on the lord in this life and then have to face an eternity apart from the Lord. I can't imagine that eternal damnation has any happy endings.

Some might debate the fact that there is a hell in the first place, but that isn't the issue of this posting. What is the focus is the joy of the soul, which can find happiness beyond this world.

That is a struggle to remember at times. It can be so challenging to keep that in the mind when you are feeling so miserable.

However, there are the times when one can wait till the memory is clear and the emotions calm. Then we can find the joy of seeing more than this life if one is a believer.

Only time will ever mend what is broken in one's dreams. Sometimes that can touch in ways when nothing else does

Providing we keep focused on what really is important.

FINISHED

The one thing I enjoy about my job is that when I leave at the end of a shift, the work got done and I have what is called closure. That really is such a wonderful feeling. Wish everything in life worked that way. But it doesn't.

I have this one person I deal with who loves to make something incredible urgent in terms of a given detail. Like it is crisis if you don't deal with a problem right away. Normally though whenever I do help and we obtain whatever is needed to fix the problem that is where the crisis ends.

The actual using the items that were needed can take forever. Which meant the urgency was only related to the part about taking something to a given point without any closure.

That is the part that frustrates. Because you end up never actually understanding why it was such an urgency if nothing was going to be done afterwards.

Any effort to in some way actually get the person to expound on the logic to such behavior never ends with any actual response that makes sense. It just ends up being mainly frustrating.

So one has to cope with such annoyances, which sadly is always part of this person's nature no matter how absurd the occasion. Unfortunately for me I don't have the option of just not dealing with this person either.

What I have learned is to try to help be encouraging. In hopes of helping keep this person's stress to a minimum and therefore reducing the needs for them to act to compulsive. It has worked with varying degrees of success.

Now for a person of little patience this is an even bigger challenge at times. I just do what I need to respect that this whole thing in part has a purpose in the Lord's will.

That might seem like a trite answer, but it really is the truth. On the one had it has helped to reinforced the irony of vanity for me.

How there are too many times we obsess with small things that are not that important and ignore the ones that count. It happens way too much.

This helps me appreciate the things that really should count at times. My mind drifts to thinking of things eternal.

And that leaves me remembering the Lord and his many blessings. For that I am grateful. I will always appreciate how there is light in the shadows when you find the right candle. It makes all the difference at times.

And when we can see that, we are truly blessed. I will always rejoice over such choices when the Lord reveals them.

HEAVEN

Found in a desperate, revealing moment
touched inside when the fleeting paradise
one conjured from leftover magic and myths
turned into a cemetery of lies,
sky in the soul becomes the place one eventually flies
when finally tossing aside a shovel of delusion
used to dig for eternity's fool's gold.

REHEARSALS

Oh the joys of having a chance to make a mistake in private before any eyes have a chance to learn about it. There is just a certain satisfaction that comes from being able to learn the flaws in some plan or behavior before you actually do whatever with a risk of consequences.

Unfortunately there are so many occasions in life when it seems that we don't have a chance at any rehearsals. We have to either winged it our first time or pretend we are experienced.

Now when it involves another person's opinion, it really isn't that surprising that it makes us never. We do often worry about what people think.

And depending on the person we may really dread how life pushes us into such situations. It can make things really annoying and stressful.

What can really make it worse is when all of it doesn't result in changing that person's opinion. That can really sting.

I can think of several times that has happened to me. You sit back and work so hard to do things right in order to get someone's approval and then when you are done, they in no way compliment your effort. Instead they are prone to criticize, which is hardly an improvement.

And no matter how often we go through that process, it seems like we still fret more over what somebody thinks of our efforts than what God thinks. Somewhere in the back of our mind we end up convinced God will somehow be more understanding.

Which is true for the most part, but it doesn't mean God is stupid. Those who presume upon the Lord's grace often find out that reality too late.

What we can easily forget above all else is how this life is really a rehearsal for eternity. That can be easy to allow to slip one's mind.

We can get so concerned about doing things right in this life we might just forget that we have times when it is just practice. Now for the person who doesn't think in terms of eternity, they make thing of now as all you have.

Which can make it hard to focus on knowing a mistake in this life will not mean we can never have a second chance. In the eternal there is always a chance for healing and time to get things right.

That truly is a source of hope for some of us. As long as we savor where it leads and don't get caught in not even rehearsing at all.

There are no times when not trying is the perfect solution.

CEMENT

There are those things in life that bond us to another or situation. They seldom are a s permanent as we hope.

Which only makes sense given the fact that life is not permanent. But we still approach things as if we can have some concrete elements in life just the same.

I was dealing with this person the other day who has the most interesting view in terms of what is ethical or moral. Certainly it isn't conventional.

Essentially this is someone who has a view of being a good person. Not unusual these days.

And this is someone who would not violate the laws of society as a rule or do anything to try and harm others. Another admirable quality.

Yet, in terms of relationships, this person didn't seem to think the same standards of what is ethical applied. By that I mean, the person gave priority in terms of feelings over tradition.

I won't say it is all bad. Just more something that really is not fixed in concrete. Because when one gives over totally to the affairs of the heart in a given situation that is to be appreciated.

However, if you keep giving yourself over and over totally from one relationship to another is that a good thing? I have to be honest in saying I'm not sure.

I think as I've come to understand it and respect it everyone has their own sense of right and wrong. We might cement them in our mind, but how often are their more liquid than solid?

None of this as much to do with what God says is right or wrong. He makes it clear in his word how he views ethical and morale issues.

But I also understand as God he is able to see into our heart. And that means he can wade through all the maze of our thoughts to get to the core of what drives us.

So even if we aren't so totally able to follow a path concrete and clear, God will understand why. That is regardless of how others view it.

There was a time when I was more concrete in my view of such things. But I have since come to accept only God has the right to decide such issues.

It has put me in the situation where I often now have to deal with people that in the past I might not have spend time with. I listen and pray for them, but above all try to accept them as I feel God would want me to. Love is often more than we love to believe.

IMAGINARY FRIENDS

Her mother watched so guarded and protective
from the porch,
as her daughter played in the garden
enjoying the sun and flowers with many little giggles.

It gave her such warmth and joy
to let her child dance upon the grass,
thinking it so cute
how she had invented an imaginary friend
that she talked to and sang songs about.

The little girl's cherub gaze of innocence
cooed in such a pure delight
when she told her mom about her sweet birdie,
which her mom couldn't see.

But a parent's perfect love accepted such things,
treating it just as child's creative whim,
unaware how angels and doves
can look the same
to such tender trusting eyes.

STEMS

What connects your heart to the fruit of your life? That is different for different people. Some truly do have such a great expression of what lies in their hearts.

Others, well they have to depend upon some artificial flowers for their blossoms since there is no real connection to their hearts. Oh, they go to church and love to make it seem otherwise, but it isn't really the case.

Not from what I've seen. And it truly does make me sad when it is like that. For the stems either don't exist or are something other than what they show off as their fruit.

The stems are the actions we do that truly connect what is in our heart with what we express as fruit. Now if the heart is totally sinful and corrupt there is no way the acts will lead to the kind of fruit that is blossoms from spirituality.

But there are so many who don't seem to care about that part. They just want to do whatever, such as acting immoral in business and still pretend they are so loving on Sunday in church.

As if God doesn't see the rest of the week. I mean man that is so sad. Mainly for the person and not God.

What is also regrettable is how often people in such situations try to offer up their fake fruit for the genuine. They have no real faith or love, but want to act like they do.

And they will get real upset if you in any way point out their fake acts of love don't impress. Just because they lie about it doesn't mean they want to have you tell them so.

What is absent from such thinking and artificial fruit? It is the water of the Holy Spirit. Absent that power to water whatever you are trying to grow, it never blossoms as God would desire.

But some will never care. They will be content to just show you that silly self righteous fruit and expect it to be treated as the real thing

Meanwhile, they will often look at whatever blossoms from your stems and tell you what is wrong with it. People with bad stems also have bad eyesight.

At least it seems too often to work that way from my experience. Which depends upon the Lord to improve.

Sometimes he can severe the bad stems. But only if in so doing it will somehow make the person actually try to rise above who they are by nature.

That can be next to impossible for some. However, with such pruning the result is always so much more bountiful.

HIDE

Ah, the perfect solution to life at times. Just find somewhere you can avoid facing problems.

Not that we want to admit it you understand. Nope that would be terrible. If we did that we might have to admit that wasn't always a good or bad thing.

Really, hiding isn't that big of a deal if you aren't hiding from your problems. There are times when a retreat helps to shut out the distractions.

It is to hide from things that keep you from seeing the lord as he would desire. But sometimes we don't accept it that way.

What a said time it is for some. We don't accept that is okay on some occasions. Just not how we choose to embrace the facts.

There is such a difference between hiding out of fear and hiding for good reasons. But even if you truly do have a good reason, hiding doesn't normally inspire respect in others.

God of course is more concerned about our obedience. Which a slant on it can be are we willing to endure the attitude of others if nobody believes the truth?

Ah, now that is the hard part to accept. Just so difficult to obey a voice when it leads us where we don't like to go.

God did send a whole nation into a wilderness to serve his purposes and out of the comfort of their environment, even though they were slaves. But the trip into the desert was hardly an easy journey. There were all kinds of hardships.

The question is, are we willing to journey where lead if it doesn't always seem to make sense. Can we venture into places where we must hide from what we don't need in the first place.

God had to hide his people from the land of sin till they were ready for the challenges for other things. But they didn't always see that.

And neither do we. The truth is we are human and that means we are not perfect in life. There are times when that means we don't have to be unafraid to admit we are not able to fight the world by ourselves.

And that means we are willing to actually able to spend time accepting God's wisdom in sending us places we need to go.

Providing we listen to his voice and not our ego. Many do so stumble from such moments. Too bad we don't always appreciate that is how it is when we don't work according to his purposes.

SIDE

Which is the side of your thoughts that dominates your life? That might not be a question we are all willing to answer.

It can be tough to admit what truly drives our values in life. What can bear its burden in our heart that colors our priorities?

And are we prepared to truly confess this reality, if even only to ourselves? That can be such a difficult question to answer, unless we prefer to ignore it.

How hard it is to drink from the well of truth that has a taste that can burn at times. It is truly difficult to always accept the flavor.

In fact it can be very bittersweet at times. Until we get used to if, providing we really do. Some people spend a lifetime without such taste becoming acceptable.

Sadly there are so many who simply have molded their self image around some false details. They just could never imagine that any darkness lingers inside.

So they block out the reality and keep sipping on the wine of denial. It just tastes so much sweeter, no matter how bad it is for us.

That becomes the addiction if we let us. Keeping us drunk upon some inebriation that says lets us think we are okay. Really can go down so smoothly and be so satisfying on some levels.

Such is the nature of when we refuse to see what is really the dark side of our essence. One where we will just let ourselves be seduced into the wonderful world of this is fine and I'm perfect.

Sort of like a tavern for the soul. It is a fun place to hang out that has no mirrors and makes us just appreciate it being without any need to do other than enjoy ourselves.

Those crosses on the walls make a wonderful decoration. They may have actually even vaguely remember what they stand for. Not enough to let it affect their behavior, but enough to think it is included in their thinking.

All of which in no way improves a thing. It just leaves one with the illusion they are good people.

And you can spend as much time as you want pretending. God won't stop anyone from such option.

He won't be impressed either. That you can count on. Not that those who caught up in the joys of denial will truly worry about it.

For them it is life as usual. Even though God isn't listening.

ALONG THE WATER

Upon the water
she tossed the white rose petals
pulled off the flower one by one.

Watching them drift down the river,
standing so quietly under the summer sun,
her eyes beset with a somber stare,
before a hint of a curl
briefly brushes across her lips.

Flickers of seconds from January dart through her mind,
recalling sitting in terror in the passenger seat,
as the jumbo jet was falling from the sky,
crashing into the icy river.

Then the moments of pure horror and confusion
when the waters flooded the plane,
people screaming, desperately trying to get outside.

In the chilling depths, passengers were too frozen
to try and swim for shore.
They waited as the helicopters came
and lowered their wires to rescue.

One single elderly male passenger, looking so much in pain,
big bleeding gash on his forehead,
kept passing the harness to others.

At last only he and the woman were left,
she tried to get him to take it, but he refused.

Slowly, she put it on,
his voice, weak and exhausted,
whispering to her, "please remember me"
before he sank below the surface,
body never found,
yet always seen in her heart.

WIDE

How wide is your life? Does it have endless possibilities or does it feel more like a prison?

That can be a really hard question to answer. Mainly because it can be difficult in some situations to actually appreciate how vast one's personal universe might be.

The problem to me is that there is a difference between what is our actually universe and the one we want to be our reality. Some will enter into that predictable mental dialogue that tries to be used to convince ourselves we have control over life.

It is helpful to always be hopeful. A life spent without hope can truly make the darkness even worse. But there is always so much of a problem trying to find the light in a way that you don't get blind in the process.

Too much light in terms of looking with intense analytical sight can result in the worse kind of delusions and blindness. One can just simply dig so deep you pass the point of truth.

When that happens we are naturally less that able to look at anything clearly. Our view becomes clog with other issues. Leading to other understandings than the one intended.

All of which often leads to confusion and something other than clarity. We just can't focus as God would want us to do.

There are some who are brought to a point of presumption that every situation can improve. Only problem is that we can easily keep ourselves from the acceptance of those things that are not going to change.

I was having a discussion with this one person on that issue. There view, which was logical, was that if you had something in your life that didn't work right and made you unhappy you just change it. Sort of like tossing out an old appliance when it stopped working.

There is merit in that in many ways. However, what if you are doing something God asks?

I find that a question that often gets ignored with such thinking. I think of the number of people God chose for a given calling.

I don't recall that having a happy life was exactly a priority with such callings. I can't imagine being martyred was on the list of things to enjoy while retired.

What counts in such situations is obedience. Doing what the Lord desires may not be some people's idea of joy, but with the Lord, there are more blessings beyond the now than whether we have one smile.

EMPTY

The point where body and soul are depleted. Heart always follows in terms of desires and dreams.

We just aren't able to truly endure always at the same level of motivation or effort. Wish we could, but unless we are robots it doesn't happen.

Even doing things we love can be taxing at times. Not that we can afford to always accept that it is okay to feel so passionate about something and find it boring at times.

Something seems to possess us that makes admitting that very difficult. Oh we might feel it inside, but we might have trouble saying it to others.

It is as if there is some terrible offense if we happen to acknowledge out something we love with all our heart just isn't sending fireworks through our spirits. Even though it would be true, it doesn't mean we like saying so.

But we sure can feel it just the same. And the reality is that is okay. We are truly normal when we have times we run out of gas.

We might be okay with mention when we are out of gas in terms of physically, but I'm not sure we are comfortable doing the same on other levels such as spiritually. It does happen, we just aren't thrill to confess it.

I've personally come to accept such aspect of being. There are times when my brain just gets weary and I need a break.

Only my heart and spirit aren't always willing to accept that it is okay to do nothing. That it is okay to be inactive for a time of rest.

Personally, I fight it to much. I just get too nudged to keep plotting away. Makes me feel guilty if I'm not doing my routine.

But when that inner hint comes to stop, it never does end up productive to ignore it. That can only make it worse at times.

Because it will wear you down in layers. Energy will seep out of the body and spirit in different types of feeling listless.

The more one resists the more it will make other parts of one's being become tired. Until you are forced to disrupt one's behavior and routine.

There is a difference in the life of faith between being resistant and being obedient to let yourself recharge. God knows the difference too.

Hopefully, he doesn't have to shout to get us to respond.

PURITY

I dwell in beats surreal
gazing into the wind
glossed in my sublime cleansing
distant textures and tints of threat
safely held at bay by my will.

Floating gently upon fate's breath
assured my world is eternal
and free the stains of risk
till I collide with a wall of facts
bursting the purity with truth.

MORE THAN ENOUGH

I think the Lord is so amazing at giving us object lessons on how a little can be more than enough. Which might not be necessarily if we had the ability to always appreciate the power he truly has to literally do whatever he wants.

Fortunately for us God is a loving God and so even though he could easily wipe out all life, he won't. True, there are times when considering how bad some people behave in terms of pure cruelty you do wonder why not, but he is merciful just the same.

But that doesn't translate into him being like Santa Claus either. He will never grant our all desires or dreams in this life. I'm sure at times we wish it was otherwise, but it isn't.

However, because we do know God does have the power to do whatever, it will sometimes inspire us to hope for miracles. And even when we can do something for ourselves.

I recall a person telling me once about attending this prayer breakfast. The people in attendance were all very affluent.

This person mentioned how the leader offered up a prayer asking God to help the poor and homeless. What struck this individual as weird was how they wanted God to do something, but didn't want to do anything themselves.

Well, it was definitely a case of treating need as God's department and not their concern. This despite the fact they had the means to do so much to help.

Prayer is a good thing. But God does expect us to be smart enough to face the truth too. If we ignore what we can do in a given situation we can't expect God to honor our prayer.

Like wise if we fail to see in the little we have the potential that God can achieve, that too can end in an unanswered prayer. And if we aren't sensitive to this reality we may never even appreciate such facts.

I don't think God expects us to do the impossible. But I do believe he expects us to do what we can.

Sometimes it is a case of do we listen? For he will in his grace tap us on the shoulder and let us know when we have missed the point.

That doesn't mean we will listen. If we were ignoring the nudge to begin with, we might struggle with any other touches.

Fortunately, he does grant us time and mercy to stumble at times. And then hopefully we take the right hint and see when more we have is enough.

Then we can see at times when it reaches us with a greater message.

IDENTITY

Who are we really? Well it truly does depend on whom you ask. And really it does come down not to the person we see in the mirror, but the one we see within our mind.

It is so amazing when the image is totally out of proportion with reality though. I've been coping as of late with this issue at this one net site I am involved with.

Personally, I've never been prone to need to exaggerate my reputation. Which is a good thing considering how often I make mistakes.

There's just something less stressful about accepting I'm human. Unfortunately, that doesn't always apply to everyone.

I've witness people who for the sake of an image they desperately have to create for themselves they will resort to all kinds of deceptions. And I appreciate that this is how some cope when they don't have a choice.

It is in so many ways a form of coping when life is less than one we want. Everyone has that need to feel special. To find a place in the sun where we can call our own spot to shine.

But the more it seems we are entrenched in routine the harder it is to be comfortable with just being ourselves. It just gets to be so hard to live in the shadows and be ordinary.

So I do appreciate how some will grasp at any straw of fame or success of which to boast. I don't really blame them for wanting to take pride in some part of their life if they can.

The sad part is when this becomes an obsession. When we just become so in need of filling that void in life we stuff it full of whatever crap we think will work.

And when you use any mental crap, it is going to stink in one way or another. Fact of life.

For me, I try to remember that this life is transitory. I keep myself remember that no matter what I do in terms of achievement in this life, it means nothing in terms of the Lord's greatness.

Which if we keep in mind during our own preoccupation with our talents can help us appreciate how they truly do become something insignificant compared to what Jesus did. For myself, I've very happy to celebrate the King of Kings for his glory. And along the way I might feel that special joy that comes from simple worshipping the one who deserves worship.

In the light, the Lord is merciful and helps me see myself a little better. For that I feel a special joy. One that I savor as part of what helps me in a small way to see my own identity better.

SURE

I find myself in situations where I have to say this a lot. It is times when I agree to do something. Doesn't mean I always like what I'm being asked to do, but don't have a choice. It almost always involves something where I have a responsibility.

Now it might not again mean I like having to do whatever, but I tolerate it because it is part of that given duty. So sure is a word of resignation. It doesn't matter if I like the option, I just cope with it out of necessity.

When I was younger, sure wasn't a word I used that much. It was more like I had to do something that I didn't like, I was more prone to complain.

That never changed the process just made me grumpy along the way. Perhaps it is just maturity or having too many times when getting upset never helped.

I'm not sure I feel this always applies to the spiritual realm. Because we can hide our true feelings from our boss perhaps, but never from God.

So if say sure to the Lord and don't really mean it he will see through such comments for being other than genuine. Sure with conditions is not the same as when you really mean it in your heart.

What does all this mean in terms of sure and faith. Maybe only how our attitude is a much apart of what we believe as what we say.

I do enjoy having a more philosophical approach at times. I do find merit in the joy of taking more time to reflect and let God handle things instead of constantly trying to solve things myself.

Along the way I do savor the times when I see more clearly the elements of life in a wider perspective. Not just my thoughts, but the ones that God grants me.

That doesn't always mean I get a chance to enjoy this perspective or have others agree. It just mean doing the best I can to follow what I need to do.

This gives its own peace even when nothing else matters. God moving through the thoughts with his own brand of quiet that I cherish.

We walk the night of our understanding, grateful for the occasions when a little light shines where none existed before. For that I'm grateful.

In any case I rejoice at how often I savor the times when sure generates a good feeling. Almost as if it is an expression of God's grace that comes from my lips unintentionally.

That might not change the world when some have nothing to occupy this point in their life.

DADDY'S TEARS

We can't see him, though we always look,
because mommy said he's in heaven
and every time it rains
it is his tears of love
from missing us.

NOT HAVEN

Yep, let's face it, there are times when there is no way to do something. I'm sorry for all those pie in the sky romantic types that believe in the tooth fairy or fairy god mother or whatever else, but it is reality.

Which is for me a basic reality that you have to be sure you accept such realities. After all some people expect the impossible.

Now by the very word you are talking about something, which isn't going to happen. So why in the world would a person think it could happen?

I wish I could answer that logically. But you can forget logic with such situations. I do at least.

The main reason is because people who talk about being logical really aren't. They can act like they are, but the truth is their idea of logic is often rationalized emotionalism.

Yep, that is a fact from what I have seen. Just a whole lot of people who under duress of a given problem think their panic should make sense.

Course it does providing you don't actually think about it. That can be the main problem. You might see the stupidity in what they believe, but getting them to see it can be tough.

If they do happen to be capable of honestly seeing the insanity of their view, then it is fine. If they can't then it can be a major headache.

Which sadly does merit being discussed. Because there are too many of such people in the world. And that makes it suck for the rest of us.

Unfortunately if such people only kept their dementia to themselves that would help, but they never do. They have to spread it around.

And trust me the one thing I hate is having to mess with them. But you have no choice. They won't go and hide in some closet and live their fantasylands without involving others.

Instead they end up deciding to pass on their Oz insanity to you. So go ahead and sing some where over the rainbow till you feel like you want to pass out.

Just don't bug me with it! That is not a good thing. At least not to me. All I want is for you to take your daydreaming butt somewhere that you and all your imaginary friends and go play elsewhere.

That is what works best for me. As for you, well if that is your joy, I wish you well. In the sense you well better do it where I won't be a well you piss in with that stuff. Enough said? I hope so.

MARKING MOMENTS

So many of life's minutes never seem to be that memorable. They blur in the mind and never end up actually being remembered the next day.

Just part of the nature of life unfortunately. And so when some given experience really sticks out in our mind it often truly affects us so profoundly for either good or bad.

A marking moment isn't always one where we are inspired to remember the Lord in the process. We should, but it doesn't mean we do.

Sometimes our emotions just get trapped thinking only in human terms. Or we find ourselves so caught up by the event that it just never allows us to lift ourselves to gaze in memory of the eternal.

When something truly overwhelming touches us in a good way, I think if we are a person of faith, we think in part of it as being from God. So we are more inspired to lift up some thanks.

When a moment is too dark, well we might be prone to be crushed by it all and then seek the lord in lament and petition. But how often do we find ourselves in a position to actually want to let some tragedy be a source of inspiration?

I think if we are honest, then the answer is not very often if ever. It is just hard to do when we feel so depressed.

And it may even be harder to find the good in it all. At least at that moment. Which I think is part of what God strives to touch us with if we are listening.

He does seek to mark the moment so we will see it for what is important and relevant to eternity. If we can do that I think at times we come to a point of purer faith in God.

But that is easier to talk about than accomplish. For that can be so hard in times of sadness. And honestly, if we don't always appreciate God's part in some success we can end up leaving him out then too.

In the end what truly moves us, should mark the moment with eyes to see deeper that a heart beat. It can be tough, but we have to learn to do so if we are able to achieve the memory to see with our souls once and awhile.

Does this truly matter? Well to me it is. Because when we let it mark our souls with clarity of what is important then it becomes a blessed even if the moment doesn't feel like it.

A small issue to some no doubt. They will never see it as anything important. And will miss out on whatever joy might have come from such marking moments. It is loss that is often not felt till much later.

DESIRES

We can throb for trophies,
race for gold,
but inside
where we live
without love we are truly poor.

It is what consumes us secretly,
truly making us whole if found,
leaving a hole in our heart and soul,
that remains unfilled
if our hand never finds another's to hold.

ALONE

The one thing I appreciate is that you don't have to be on a deserted island to be alone. One can feel isolated and alone in the middle of a crowd.

I think it in part comes from various sources. How we feel about ourselves, our capacity to relate to others and a host of other facets tied to in inside each of us.

I've never been accused of being the most social person in the world. I generally don't go to parties very often because I'm a dismal failure at small talk.

It isn't that I hate people, I just am not good at rambling over things like the latest movie that I probably haven't seen or the other things that are often popular. Which leaves me so often sitting in a corner of some room bored to death.

Not complaining about such times of activities. It is just my nature. For me being in such settings leaves me feeling alone.

I don't imagine I'm alone in that regard. I have a feeling I'm not the only one who feels left out in certain situations.

Why is it that somehow you have to be the life of the party or you are considered somehow boring and dull? Like nobody accepts you have any real worth?

That might not be the case in real life, but sometimes it does seem to be the way some express that aspect of personality. Only I do know a few that are in the same situation.

Outside of the usual situations of social dynamics there are the occasions when one is in a church setting. We might be there in keeping with the Lord's will and bonded together by a common element of faith, but none of that has much to do with our personalities.

So even though it shouldn't be the way churches function it is the way it does work most of the time. The basic rule is if you are outgoing by nature you will be the same in a church setting.

And likewise if you are an introvert in other places you'll be that way in church too. Only it doesn't mean that we are going to be treated with respect for this fact in a house of worship.

What I don't understand is why is it assumed that if you are Christian you will suddenly become totally outgoing. As if the Holy Spirit is suddenly going to make you the life of the party.

But you are always going to have those who tie spiritual and the idea of making disciplines and saving souls being some kind of sales job. If you aren't a salesman by nature, then you will in their few never be faithful to God. Personally, I think if have to be a salesman in terms of selling God to the unsaved is required by all a lot of believers will be in trouble. Course nobody bothers to somehow appreciate that the Lord is the Lord of the Harvest I guess. We each play that part regardless of if we are party animals.

CLIFFS

Places, which you wish to leap off when you are feeling down? My definition. Not necessarily one everyone would agree with no doubt.

I think there are many cliffs one can encounter in life. Those are the places of thought were you reach and just can't must a feeling to do other than escape.

But by escape, I don't mean to some usual location. These are more the moods where you want to run away from life completely. Now tell me you've never felt that way?

Maybe you are in the minority and always feel great. Someone that never has a bad day in any way.

Which of course is what they claim. But I'm not sure I truly believe that myself. Just a question of how honest you want to be about your feelings.

For me there is no profit is pretending. And prefer to look upon the down moments with a certain acceptance that allows me to deal with them honestly.

Which includes leaning on God for help. That might sound trite, but honestly when one is down it is so easy to try and find some solution other than turning to the Lord.

I think that is because there are times when prayer just doesn't seem to always grace us with some immediate solution. At least that is a thought that often seems to drill our brains.

Be that as it may, the reality is if we are sad and feeling so unhappy, we crave a solution that we can truly enjoy in the present. One that actually replaces our sadness with an immediate form of joy.

So rather than lean on the Lord, we often search of other options. Escapes that we think will solve all our problems. Not just the one we were feeling grumpy about.

Such is the nature of life at times I guess. And the think is, even if we do react that way, it isn't as if God will strike us dead in the process.

However, if we have stumbled around and leaped of some cliff of wishful thinking without a decent solution, God will be there to help pick us up.

Oh he might have to dust us off a bit at times. And hopefully in the process we actually learn a lesson too.

That is the hard part. Making sure we allow ourselves a chance to see the kinds of cliffs that God will offer.

Which he will in a way that truly does bless instead of hurt.

LEANING BACKWARDS

There are times when we honestly have to go backwards to go ahead. And that can be difficult to always accept.

Just part of when our pride strangles our thinking. We end up being unable to embrace the fact that maybe we didn't learn our lessons completely.

Which is when we have to at times start over. Mistakes, if appreciated correctly help to let us see when we need to be more in touch with our reality. That we have some part of our essence that needs to change, which we thought was okay.

And if by chance we feel that is spiritually related it makes it even worse. I have yet to meet very many people that enjoy admit they are ignorant or mistaken when it comes to spiritual matters.

That they don't like to do. Again pride makes it difficult. We prefer to savor those ideas of being so wise and mature. Heaven forbid we might make a mistake in our understanding of anything related to God.

Plus if one is a student of scripture oh that just makes it worse. Because if one feels like an expert on the bible you can't belief you don't have all the answers.

Naturally that is never reality. We seldom are as wise and mature as we think we are. So we end up seduced into the delusion of being so much more than that.

And if anyone lean upon us for understanding the pressure to know becomes worse. So we end up having a harder time accepting the reality.

God is fortunately merciful with our shortcomings. Providing we are willing to listen when he takes us back to kindergarten.

But if we don't resist then we will discover more than we could hope. It allows us to face a new day in our walk with more understanding and gratitude.

Transition where one has to move backwards can be the most difficult time for leaning upon the Lord. But one that carries the great opportunities for trust.

If we embrace tomorrow as a yesterday. One we didn't quite live as expected. And to a place where we can know it will guide us where we need to be.

It all will be a positive touch in our lives when we surrender the most important we need to surrender. Our will

Funny at times how that is so hard to do no matter how long we have believed. Some times though it truly does become the one thing we need to learn the most in a new way and that God helps us to understand.

GOSSIP

Tell
a word
to someone
say its secret,
not!

ONE, TWO, THREE, COUNT AGAIN

Facts are a wonderful thing. And the older I get the more I appreciate that numbers can honestly be so easily manipulated. We just have no problem making statistics up for whatever we want. They get bantered around as if they are somehow perfect facts.

That is something, which always ends up in comments made by people who are arguing for or against something. They will toss out some numbers to prove they are correct.

Now what gets even more fun is how often you find that somebody else will provide a whole different set of numbers that prove the exact opposite of what the first person argued. They will be so convincing that their numbers are just as true as the first person.

In the end none of us had a clue. We just sit back and relax and soak it all end, letting the numbers roll around our head. Maybe we believe them, maybe we don't.

What I do appreciate is how the one thing that doesn't always come out of this is truth. That ought to be the priority, but it isn't.

I've seen that so much lately. People using numbers in relationship to some goal or desire to prove their worth.

As long as you don't spend time actually analyzing it, then they can be very impressive. But if you actually dig deep into where the numbers come from you find out that the person compiling them was not that honest in their preparation. That is because they need to prove something. Not let the number add up to what they really mean.

This always makes truth a little less than a priority except in trying to get you to believe them. Which is fine if you are content with whatever is their interpretation.

With God truth is always the most important element. So with numbers like everything else, they are important as they relate to be facts.

And even though with aspects of faith numbers aren't always dependable as a source of inspiration, ignoring them doesn't help either. Pretending the truth is not the truth doesn't help.

Some think it works. So they give truth with numbers the same consideration they do with all other kinds of aspects of spirituality.

None of which ever gets the Lord's blessing no matter how much we like to excuse such behavior. It does get us his attention in other than a good way.

It was like this time in this church where a new pastor tried bragging how the church had doubled in attention since he was there. Only problem was that he was comparing summer attendance with winter attendance. Not winter with winter. In that comparison the numbers hadn't changed. Such are the ways of man who grasp as straws in fact rather than truth.

EVERYBODY KNOWS

It is always wonderful when we think we are clever and can disguise our sins. Which may even work at times.

I've been involved lately with this issue at this place where I do a lot of writing. And whenever you have a community of creative minds, there will be conflicts.

Now in reality this is an internet site. It isn't the real world. The reality is that even if a person manages to leave his or her mark at this site, it honestly doesn't change life.

However, you wouldn't think so the way some act. They treat it like it is reality. This leads to some very sad and ridiculous behaviors at times.

Some will lie and deceive in hopes of some personal gain. Naturally they think they are somehow achieving such behavior without anyone knowing.

But people normally aren't that stupid. When you wound and otherwise hurt another, they will know about it.

And in one situation there is a person at this site who is very gifted, but also very prone to cheat to get what this person wants. Not particularly surprising, except the person thinks nobody notices. In reality everyone notices.

Now for the most part, this behavior is a sin. Which only means the individual is like the rest of us.

And I could imagine this individual could have gone for a long time just lying and doing otherwise with no problem. But unfortunately, the person decide to insult God by making fun of his word. Even so far as to actually take scriptures and rewrite them in mocking way. It all is part of this person's general disbelief in God and apparently downright hate of the idea of the Lord. Very sad.

I came across this person's little gift to the world and literally cringed for I knew God was not happy with it at all. Since then this person has been exposed for a number of misdeeds and slowly all of the individuals sins are being seen by those who thought the person was somehow good.

To that end it was hard to feel sorry for someone who invites God wrath by willfully going out of the way to dishonored the Lord. I know God is forgiving, but you have to at least accept you did something wrong.

In this case it is so sad for this person is ultimately going to lose all of their accomplishments as part of the punishment for insulting God. I doubt the person will be happy with the consequences. Some times God truly does what is for our own good even if we at the time don't understand.
And part of that is when somebody has a totally rebellious heart of disbelieve he has so many ways to make sure a person learns he is real.

TWO HANDS

Two hands,
one, old and scarred
weary, trembling and weak.

The second, young and tender,
soft, innocence
frail from still being a child.

Both are of different colors
unable alone to lift
most any weight of burden.

But working together,
with the energy of love
bonding their labor,
they can do what neither does alone.

How much more does a single heart beat
when it is held by another
where without words of hate,
laced together to create
care's masterpiece of art,
no single pulse can duplicate.

FILTERS

What color do you see when you look at the day? Strange question perhaps, but one that truly does apply in many ways.

By this I mean that when we look upon life's many facets do we truly look for gold or only trash? Everything has its shades of energy, but it is up to us what we see.

And how we feel about ourselves as well as our surroundings definitely affects that vision. That might seem like a trite observation, but it isn't intended to be.

I just believe it is so apparent in our thinking we truly ignore the significance at times. Just one of those things we can't help doing without thinking.

Which is part of the reason at times that I feel we just unintentionally block out what is often at the core of our thoughts. If we fail to pierce our veil of distraction and truly discover what is fueling our sight it just leads to confusion.

We just feel totally out of sorts and unable to appreciate what truly drives us. Naturally this never enables us to come to terms adequately with our feelings.

The result can be all kinds of valleys where we are tagged with bad feelings and no way to understand them. Life just looks so pointless and pathetic and everything seems to upset us.

Naturally the only way to actually cope in a way that will honestly help is to let God's spirit help to clear the mind. Providing we can stop thinking long enough to do that or remember too.

Which is easy to forget. God never forces anything on us. If we don't listen when he nudges us, he won't insist upon us listening.

But he is loving and kind enough to be patient with us. And that means he will give us the time we need to learn when we are slow in understanding.

That is so often for some of us. Which means there are times when we simply get sidetracked by our desires and being human are not able to focus as we should.

The good news is how often once we start listening that it does become easier. In the sense that we will be more receptive to the Lord's nudge.

That doesn't mean we always listen, just that the more practice we have the more it gives us ears to pay attention. Will that mean the problems go away.

No, not at all. It just means that we have better chances to respond and find out the things we need to help us through the darkness. And that is always a blessing when they happen.