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Adoos
LAIR OF THE PENMAN: March 2006
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Friday, March 31, 2006

TIRED

The older I get the more I appreciate that aging doesn’t improve you energy. Not that when I was younger I was that full of vigor. I was a couch potato most of my life so I was hardly ever in shape to feel the illusion of being almost immortal as a youth.

Oddly now that I’m in my fifties my daily routine is actually far more demanding than it was even five years ago. I find it amazing how I get through some days, but I do attribute that to the Lord more than my doing.

I guess if there is one thing that truly is fascinating to me at this age is how often I find myself the victim of extremes. We all have good days and bad days. That’s normal. But I don’t think my “bad” days in terms of energy were quite as bad before I got involved with my regime of exercise.

So I find times at this point when I’m literally so exhausted from my routine that on my day set aside for resting, it is all I can do to stay awake. Let me tell you I truly do look forward to my Tuesdays for that time of recouping. Working full time on the weekends, it is I suppose my equivalent of a weekend.

Although I am not a “Sabbath” keeper in that regard, I do appreciate the need for at least one day of rest. I believe Jesus is the Lord of the Sabbath and for me as a Christian I feel New Testament Sabbath keeping means to put one’s faith in Christ. So I never make it a legalistic issue.

What is difficult for me is that I get into a schedule on a regular basis that involves work, exercise and of course writing. It has become ingrained in my nature to keep up a certain pace related to those things as I feel the Lord leads.

The problem is that my emotions at times get in the way of my physical needs. By that that I mean, my spirit thinks I must do certain things at certain times. God, however, in his wisdom sometimes puts the brakes on my plans for the sake of making sure I do take things to the extreme I would otherwise.

There are times when he really has to almost hit me on the head to get my attention. And being tired I’ve come to understand is part of that message.

I do praise him for making sure when I feel totally listless and tired that his spirit taps me on the shoulder and reminds me that this is for my own good. So I learn to stop, rest and rejoice for the lesson.

We can’t always stay in touch with what is in our own best interests. And there are times regardless of how spiritual we think we are that pride gets in the way of our doing what is God’s will in our lives.

I feel grateful that God is so merciful and longsuffering with our stubbornness and selfishness. It givs me hope for what remains to come tomorrow.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

FOUNTS AMID THE CLOVER

At times I feel I’ve know more deserts and valleys in my life that mountaintops and clover fields of blessing. Plus on many occasions it seems that at times when I do come to some place of presumed rest it turns surreal and macabre too often. This always results in my being more than a little guarded in my expectancy. I think most people could appreciate that.

However I do understand how God is still God and does have the power to work a miracle no matter how desperate the situation. Even when life seems hopeless with the Lord the impossible is always possible.

So what I do try the most is not to concentrate on the clover in such situations. Instead I try waiting to find some refreshment from God’s fount of understanding. By that I mean to allow his spirit to grant me understanding and meaning to the clover and the walk of faith when is my given path.

Sometimes that is easy than others. But I know that some of the richest insights and most personally satisfying have come regardless of the playing field of breath I am experiencing. With experience come a sensitive if we are listening.

For a fount is intended to flow. In spiritual terms it always flows so smoothly and soothingly. And it always points to God.

How said is the person who gets caught up in seeing only the clover and never the hand that created it. That only thinks it was created as reward and never learns to see the fount of wisdom God graces in such situations.

I also appreciate how easy it is for this fount to never flow if you don’t look for it. Some people experience such incredibly joyful moments and never “get it.” God in his mercy will at times still bless that person, but sadly they end up spiritual paupers because they were so caught up smelling the clover they never took time to drink from his fount of revealing.

I’ve seen the people who have been touch in such a way. They are numb and confused and unable to apply logic to the unexpected windfall. Eventually the mind does conjure some reason to explain it.

But without being guided to God’s fount that comes into the soul so overpoweringly at times, the clover remains just another passing moment of life. When it departs the person never is able to preserve the real gold that was intended from such a reward.

We all travel by thought at times. To allow that trip to be wash by the Lord’s fount is a special moment if one allows it to be.

May we all learn when visiting the clover to never stop remember that it won’t last forever, but the Lord’s fount will.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

ADVICE

Advice that burns
never heals,
never brings growth
or an enriching song.
It is a verbal
death mask
given to another
with a glue
of prejudice and hate
that keeps
whatever light it has
from shining
into our darkness.
Acid tongues
spew
their vile pollution
with wisdom,
which isn’t wise,
It is a cracked mirror
ever shrinking in value and size.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

YES AND AMEN

The scriptures declare that in Christ all the promises of God are yes and amen. Which makes sense since Jesus is Lord and Savior. So he would naturally be Lord over the promises of God too.

Some have taken this to mean that as Christians we can expect to claim any promise of God like it is meant for us personally. On a literal edge I do accept this as reality. But I do respect the Lord’s sovereignty I terms of how he keeps those promises.

I do feel it is disrespectful to the Lord to question why there is some thorn of circumstance in one’s life that never seems to go away. Or to feel a bit discouraged when we see someone else having a great blessing in their lives while we end up in some valley. That happens too often in life.

And naturally whenever somebody has some success they become a self-professed expert on how to gets God’s blessing. That often ends up when their circumstance changes to being case of amnesia!

I was reflecting on this issue the other day when I like to think God’s spirit sort of open my mind to a thought. Jesus admonished us to seek ye first the kingdom of God. It occurred to me that in reality that meant that above all we should seek the Lord as a person. We should savor and rejoice in that relationship. It should be our first thought and the one that matters the most.

I’m not speaking in terms of suddenly becoming somebody who sits around and only spends time praying. I’m speaking of taking the time to keep God center in one’s thoughts. To truly let Jesus be the Lord of one’s life by surrendering our secret crannies of desires to him.

While some might think that is a matter of common knowledge I really wonder how often we slipped into the state of spiritual lethargy. Oh we know the words and how to pray, but so often isn’t easy to simply do it more with our lips than our hearts.

Life’s bouquet may not always smell sweet. It may not always be about things that make us happy.

I think that being human we shall all fall short in our relationship with the Lord from time to time. By his grace we are able to start over and keep going if we let ourselves embrace the truth of our essence.

To seek first the kingdom of God is to me something that includes seeing the Lord in the midst of our darker moments. For he is with us even then.

When we stroll and stumble on the plain of spiritual honesty, then the other things of life are added. Not according to our desires, but according to God’s wisdom. In some cases that includes keeping us from things that will separate us from him. That is a blessing not everyone always treats as a blessing. May we seek it too in a quest for the kingdom of God.

Monday, March 27, 2006

INTO THE NIGHT

Darkness can thrive even during noontime. It can overshadow the heart and soul regardless of the light. That is an element of thought and attitude. For some of us it is a constant of life.

With some sunshine is second nature. A way of seeing only the up side of life. However for some of us there will always be darkness.

The good news to me is that God loves even the pessimist. If we see the glass as half empty, it doesn’t mean we can’t trust the Lord.

To me it means we can even have a greater opportunity to trust him since we start out expecting the worst. On the flip side though is the danger of not seeing the possibilities and therefore letting one’s wings of faith end up being clipped. That really deters one’s chance to fly.

So pessimists can still love God. We can with God’s help turn that liability into an asset. It means not listening to the deceptive voice from Satan that wants to prey upon our doubts and convince to quit.

Most of all it means accepting one is going into the night of doubt. Not to pretend it isn’t there, but to celebrate how with God’s power we can by faith make it to that time of sunrise. The fact to me is that after incredible darkness the light always seems brighter. I pray you find that sunrise too when you drift into the night!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

THE LITTLE TROPHIES

They are the stars
with see with our mind,
the perfect rest
we lust to find.
in our quest
one dons a vest
of wishes,
Hoping life
with agree
to embrace the fibers
as we do.
Smiles bring a perfect “when,”
which returns
to the place
our test of inner being
did begin.
and it is then
that one reaps the true fruit
from how our time we
thus did spend.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

CONVEYING AND STAYING

I participated in this social experiment during a class I took once. It involved the art of listening. One person was told a few facts. They were to whisper them to the next person and then that person would repeat them to another. This was done and passed on around a circle. The last person then said out loud what they were told.

Predictably I guess what the last person heard was nothing like what the first person had been told. It was a far too graphic demonstration at how often we are truly such poor listeners.

We all seem to appreciate the importance of communication. But so often it seems the truth and what we really want to convey gets lots between the fissures in our memories and the faulty nature of our concentration. Recollections can often be more of a stew of facts than a pillar of clear details.

That is all part of being human. What is truly amazing is that somehow despite this problem on our part God manages to get his point across. When one thinks of the reality of all the barriers to communication I think it is pretty incredible the gospel actually gets preserved or conveyed accurately at all.

Yet we were given the “great commission” so it makes you wonder what the Lord knew about our abilities to convey the truth and have it stay faithful to reality in the process. He even calls some to the specific office that involves things like teaching and preaching.

I don’t think God has any problems in saying what he needs to say to us. But whenever it goes through the messenger’s brain it always ends up suffering to some degree.

However the great news it the truth does go on. And if we really pause to appreciate the mystery of this we understand how the power of the God is far more capable of conveying what he wants said that whatever manages to stay in our mind. Whenever we forget that reality and think somehow our power and abilities are somehow the key to communicating the success, we should stop and remember we need God more than he could ever need us. It should hopefully be a time of rejoicing at the great love the God to even grant us the chance to play any part in his message at all. Sometimes pure gratitude has to start where the ego is left behind.

Friday, March 24, 2006

RAINBOWS AND LIGHTNING

Who can gaze upon the natural lights of nature’s wonder and not be moved deep down with some form of awe and amazement. The other day after a rainstorm I saw a double rainbow and at the same time the one rainbow stretch in a giant arc from one horizon to the other. It was spectacular. Within a few minutes it was gone.

Lightning also can be truly impressive, not to mention scary. And so often it flashes with the explosion of thunder to add to the anxiety.

I can’t imagine anyone being too afraid of a rainbow. It simply doesn’t to me convey that kind of power or image. However it does have with it a certain mystical side with the fables about finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Since rainbows are the result of special weather related phenomena and you could never really reach the end of a rainbow it might make a good legend, but we know it could never be reality.

Lightning on the other hand is the type of real that even though it doesn’t happen every day, we know there will always be some danger when we hear the thunder and see the flashes of light. Perhaps it is because of the dangerous element that we don’t have the same legends associated with it as with rainbows.

On a spiritual level to me rainbows are the dazzle for the eyes when we experience some truly moving moment with the Lord. But like a rainbow, often they are visual for our edification, but not to be regarded as having another value. It can be some event that the Holy Spirit touches us for a specific reason and we see something far truer than ever before. When we have that moment it has served its purpose. It wasn’t intended to be a lifestyle. Some get so addicted to this kind of dazzle that they are always chasing spiritual rainbows and looking for that next fix of eye candy where they seem something supernatural occur, which is not the purpose.

The Apostle Paul dealt with that in part in terms of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Some had abused them others became corrupted by pride. In both cases they missed the real meaning of their rainbow quality. It isn’t that spiritual gifts lack a lightning quality too. But the difference to me is when we see only the colors of that expression in terms of its false of expression and never appreciate it as a intended to increase our faith.

I hope I’m not being too vague. But what I’m talking about is seeing light with the help of God’s spirit and not seeing the revelation or truth it is intended to communicate. Only seeing wonders and not the God who creates them might stir, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to trusting him more.

With lightning we understand that it only happens during a storm. Thus in the case of spiritual lightning it is something where God demonstrates his power, but always during a crisis. So it is more powerful on the senses, yet more traumatic in terms of the circumstances when it happens.

In either case, to see the glory and miss the message is to be deprived of the inward value that can bring insight even healing at times. I pray we never lose the desire to look for what lies beyond the light and clouds when seeking the Lord.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

GENTLE WHISPER, HARD KNOCKS

I doubt most of us are as good as listening as we are at talking. Sometimes that inner voice of guiding will whisper in a given situation how we should act a given way. But we ignore it. Then later some disaster strikes.

I imagine most people have been in that situation. And in some cases we end up with a big “I told you so” screaming in our head, reminding that if we had listened to the whisper we could have missed the hard knock.

A few years ago on a commercial for car repairs they made this slogan famous of “pay me now or pay me later.” It was a subtle way of hinting about how often we all ignore some problems till they become a disaster.

God understands this element in our nature far too well. So often he will try to guide us in the right direction with a nudge or whisper. If we ignore it then he’ll hit up the side of the head with some hard knock of an emergency.

In so many cases this is often to do with the realm of learning to trust him. But since he is a loving God and Jesus is truly Lord over all aspects of our life, he does want the best for us in more than the area of faith.

So as a loving father he will try to guide us in certain directions with our lives. Sometimes it works, others it doesn’t. However, he doesn’t give up on us in the process.

What is so sad is the times when we have the ability and still “don’t get it” after the hard knock comes. Then it can lead to an even worse hard knock, but not always.

That is one of the dynamics of living we all must face. It isn’t always pleasant, but we can’t always avoid it.

On a spiritual level when it comes to the arena of trust, there is no end of lessons we need to learn. Real spiritual is not reaching a point where we have “arrived.” It is the insight to rely upon that gives us strength because of our experience to keep trusting.

The one major difference with the whispers and hard knocks in the spiritual realm is that if we ignore the whispers and hard knocks enough time and God sees a definite hardness of heart he will not continue to whisper. Some people think when they reach this point that the absence of testing is a blessing. Instead it sadly can mean that the holy spirit has been grieved away to the point that the person no longer feels the desire to want to trust God.

Amazingly, there are people who come to this crossroad, defiantly resist God’s will and even after making the wrong choice keep going to church. You can see the coldness in their eyes, the lack of joy in the tone of their voice and the absence of love or faith in their words. They are like the Pharisees, “whitewashed tomb filled with dead men’s bone.” I pray that we never stop hearing the whispers to our soul or refuse to accept the hard knock lessons when they come from the Lord.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

WE HAVE NO BREATH

We have no breath
when gasping
from
the inexplicable.
Dark
is the torment
for a gaze
into the maze
of reason
constructed
in bricks
made from lies.
Yet
by storm
one enters
ever dazed
while laughing
with tears
having
haloes.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

SAVING ROOM FOR...

I remember as a kid this was a big deal with my mother. It always was about not eating too much for dinner so you could save room for dessert. That sort of conveyed the idea of dessert being a reward for a feeble attempt at self-control. I say feeble because whenever that got said, I knew there was going to be a great dessert waiting. The idea got me so excited that I ended up eating even more dinner. I still go the dessert though, which made the whole idea of saving room for later rather less than one I took serious in terms of eating less.

Self-control is a wonderful thing in some ways. The illusion of having power is always soothing to the ego. I have come to appreciate that in reality so many times self-control truly is only an illusion. So we end up just having to lie to ourselves in order to not cope with those weaknesses that remind how we are mortal after all.

In the spiritual realm, part of faith to me is trusting to God for his strength and power to deal with situations. Not that we aren’t suppose to deal with our problems, but that there are times when we are our own worse enemies in terms of improvement.

Of course in many ways I think sin in our lives is part of the consequence of our weaknesses. It also is many other things, but still we do know, despite what some claim, that none of us is perfect. Nor in this life will we ever become perfect.

This doesn’t keep some from living in denial in terms of “saving room for” righteousness if you will. They are in the stage of living a life, from their point of view, where they don’t sin. With extreme cases such people actually think they have stopped sinning. It all becomes a sad game without any real winner.

What amazes me is the person in this game who somehow gets so comfortable with a given sin that hey stop even regarding it as a sin. That is hard for my mind to understand.

I’ve had to deal with this one person in a given situation for several months. The one thing I have come to appreciate, sadly, is that this person is a hopeless compulsive liar. I can’t think of a single time the person has told the truth. Even when confronted by a glaring lie the person never changes.

The other day I had to meet with this person and the individual was wearing a sweatshirt with the name of Jesus on it. It really amazed me. I mean anyone is entitled to approach God’s throne of grace and forgiveness in faith. I don’t have any problem with that aspect.

However, I did have trouble on appreciating how this person with such a history of lying felt claiming to be a Christian was in any way going to bring honor to the Lord. I guess it was unrealistic to expect the person to have been embarrassed enough by such habitual sin so as to been a little more humble in that area.

For some people the “save room for” rationale will be a blanket of excuse they will always wear. Hopefully for those willing to honestly listen to God’s spirit we will find more reason to save room for grace and forgiveness rather than another helping of lies.

Monday, March 20, 2006

REDUCING

No, this is not going to be a posting about losing weight or weight loss tips. The world abounds with diet books and gurus and unfortunately too many of us who need their advice, but that isn’t the focus of this particular writing.

I was thinking more in terms of the true essence of life. That is the lean mix of what keeps us going. Too often our idea of life is a dressing with all kinds of décor and baubles that we convince ourselves we can’t live without.

Still I’ve seen the few who did live “without” even by choice. Some claimed the simple life was more practical, wise and spiritual. However I have a feeling that in terms of reality most people would prefer rich or at least comfortable to a life of a monk.

I’m not criticizing that choice either. I appreciate that God does at times call people to unique lives such as being a missionary. Such a calling can involve more giving than taking and that includes sacrifice.

So for me I believe reducing is in this context an issue of gazing with honesty upon our own lives and lifestyles and asking is it truly in balance both in terms of need and what allows us to keep our hearts trusting the Lord? God doesn’t intend for us all to live such abased lives that we sit around only wearing robes and chanting all day. That may be a valid path for some, but not all.

At present my wife and I are waiting for a house we are having built to be constructed to be finished so we can occupy it. We have never own a home and this one was inherited or I should say the property and old house were inherited. We have chosen to replace the old one because of its condition. For us this was a true miracle since we never had an opportunity to own anything of this type before.

Till we get a chance to move our little apartment is hopelessly cluttered with all the items we have acquired to go with the new house. My wife is very talented at things like interior design so she naturally has concentrated on making sure it will have a special theme and quality when we move.

As for me, well what can I say, I’m a writer and spend most of me time in thought or writing. All those issues aren’t something I like to think about. But there are days every moment gets consumed in having to do chores related to this processes. I accept them as a part of the journey. I just don’t worship.

Reducing in that sense to me is to reduce down the priorities in the mind to keep God in the center of it all. To stop in the haste and chase and ask the tough questions that remind us this life is temporary. Most of all it is to ride out the storm of distraction without drowning. That means to recognize the value to giving time where needed without becoming a prisoner of possessions. There is a difference. So there are times for me that means, I have to reduce my dreams down to a chore for the moment. When I’m done I go back to the clouds, to the Lord and grateful I didn’t get lost along the way. I pray you also find your way out of daily maze without losing sight of the Lord also.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

THE WAGES OF INK

The paycheck stub
of my hourly thoughts
exists
in my mind’s
bank account.
Taxes
are paid
to the Lord,
but always
returns them
as a guiding pause
form following the footsteps
visible
with my inner light
and in the decay
where life
diminishes in significance
a lantern forms
ever shining
upon a well worn trail.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

DEFINITE

I wish life were fill with more “definite” than “maybe.” To me uncertainty is that dreaded two-edged sword that we can never expect to avoid no matter how much we wish we could. Regardless of our circumstances or desires, the land of uncertainty is one we will never be able to avoid.

For myself, I know I would vote to eliminate it if I could, but I also understand as a follower of Christ that God allows this condition for our own good. Faith is the most tested when we are faced with a question or crisis that represents risks in our lives. We can talk about what we believe and we can make all kinds of boasts about our convictions, but as one preacher used to say, “when the rubber meets the road” we find out what is in our hearts.

I think for example of Abraham. He was a man credit for his faith, but God still tested him and what he really did belief came to a crisis when the Lord commanded him to sacrifice his son as a test of his faith. Of minor note that perhaps would be overlooked by some is the fact that on his way up that hill to sacrifice his son, he told his servants that were left behind that “he and his son would return.” It might be easy to miss the aspect of trust in Abraham by that comment, but he says how he knew somehow God would be sure Issac, Abraham’s son, survive the sacrifice. I doubt he had a clue on how and might have had a few thoughts, but the point is he did obey what God has told him to do and with faith that the Lord affirms latter.

I have no idea how I would have handled such a situation myself. And I’m grateful God doesn’t make that kind of test on the rest of us. But I do know that God is totally capable of knowing what we value most and can bring us to the altar of obedience to choose between that item and him in some form of sacrifice.

It is amazing how many times when it comes to that altar people often miss out on the meaning. Perhaps someone has for themselves a reputation or family that is in their minds the ultimate of their world. I’m not saying those things are bad, but if you cherish over the Lord he will test our hearts to see if we will be willing “sacrifice” it for him.

As with Abraham though he often provides a means of alternative sacrifice if he sees deep into your heart that you truly are willing to trust him above all else. How many times I’ve known people by their confession that walked right passed that altar with some excuse for not obeying. Sometimes they just keep going to church and through all the worship motions and never come close to appreciate God isn’t even listening to them any longer. Since the holy spirit isn’t there because they honestly aren’t trusting him for anything they end up not even having a clue of how far they are from the Lord’s will or his heart.

Definite is such a perfect land in which to dwell.
It is full of flowers and a refreshing well.
While it might appeal to us in every part
there is no value if it keeps us from God’s saving heart.

Friday, March 17, 2006

ARISE

Getting out of bed in the morning is not always a joyous occasion for me. In part it depends upon what I know the day offers.

Plus with the oddity of my routine at times, arising for me is a little different than most people. The best example of that is on Mondays. I work full time on the weekends so that means that on Monday morning I go to bed after being up all night at work. It is generally around six am.

Then around ten thirty in the morning I “arise.” Do I feel complete rested? Not really, but after the long hours of the weekend at work and being up all night on Sunday at work I just have trouble sleeping a long time on Monday.

When I do get up my mind lingers in images of knowing my next few hours will include a trip to the gym for my exercise routine. Oh I’m awake, but I don’t classify that as a time I love to think of as quality time. It is more like survival time. Still it is how I function and have for several years.

Now that I have bogged this posting down with a snippet of my personal life I’m sure that I can say there are probably a lot of people out there for whom getting up in the morning is not the highlight of their day. It might be wonderful if we could all arise with a smile on our face and then skip out into the world, praising God, celebrating life and adding a little joy to other’s lives. I haven’t met too many people who function on that level to be honest.

There are difference types of arising though. What I just wrote about is the physical reality of being human. And as we get older arising includes those little “groans” as our bodies remind that aging is not a time when we have any delusions of being immortal or even pain free.

While we each cope with that kind of arising in our own way, we also know that our soul needs it moments of arising also. For just like the mental realm where our minds have to at times be challenged to think before the cerebral juices will flow, so our souls need moments when wings carry us to a glimpse of heaven’s reality.

Only I’m not sure we always worry about finding an alarm clock for our souls. That is different for different people. And it doesn’t always come from going to church.

For the real spiritual alarm clock is the one that comes from the Lord. His spirit will touch us and we shall arise. Only it is on his timetable and calendar not ours.

God knows our live better than we do. To me that means he understands our need for rest and also when we need to be woken up. Some would try to orchestrate those spiritual arising moments with making it a point to expect it to happen every time they go to some religious activity.

However the Holy Spirit is in reality more like wind in that we can’t control or dictate when his spirit stirs in us and we arise in our souls. Nor does any formula of worship truly bring fruit to that quality. The big question is when God’s alarm clock does go off and his spirit is nudging are we truly listening? That is one question only person can answer for him or herself.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

REST

We are told in the scriptures at one point that “when we have done all, stand.” Basically when we have done with our hands what we know in our hearts is correct and proper we are to trust to the Lord for the results.

It is wonderful advice. I wish it were easier to do than to say. There are so many demons that can ruin one’s ability to “rest” in the Lord. Plus being human we can manufacturer a few without any help.

Like most people I’ve had my share of moments when impatience and fear have been mental and emotional hooks that drug me across a torn patch of anxiety. I has definitely been hard to turn off that furnace of worry when that happens too.

Which is part of why I wanted to share this posting, hopefully with the guidance of God’s spirit. For like so many aspects of faith and one’s relationship with the Lord we know that he is totally aware of our shortcomings in being able to do what he has admonished us to do.

That is more a pause to celebrate grace. How often I have thought of the times of the disciple and how often the Lord had to point out when they failed him. Yet he did not abandon them even when only John was present at his crucifixion. At least according to gospel accounts.

Is if the joyous flame of hope that keeps my faith alive in many ways. Yes, I do in my heart want to rest in the Lord in due season. Yes I want to trust him in all things.

When I fail though, I refuse to let the self-righteous and legalistic servants of the devil who Paul calls “enemies of the cross” discourage me or make me give up. Rest to me in scriptural terms and spiritual reality is thus a bi-product of our relationship with God. By that I mean it is on his terms and timing.

I know in my life there have been times that I push myself beyond when I should rest in one way or another. Being so hopeless compulsive by nature I always do things to extreme. And I also love to plan things in advance.

I don’t know how many times something has occurred to interfere with those plans or my routine. Later though there are occasions when something happens and God’s spirit taps me on the shoulder to whisper I wouldn’t have had to stop you if you would take a hint and rest once and a while when I tell you too. Yeah I feel kind of silly for complaining when that happens, you can be sure of that!

However, once that rest comes. I find the aftermath so much more refreshing. And in the process sometimes a light comes into my soul and I get a merciful glimpse of God’s greater plan. That is the wonderful substance a lot of times for a future posting. I do confess I’m not fond of admitting so many of the weakness that bare my soul, but with God’s rest for my pride I do manage on occasion.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

PINNACLES

From the valleys
do I sing
a simple praise
and chant of hope
to somehow
rise
above
the fleeting elements
of clown face
apparitions.
So I built a home
upon a mountaintop
imagining it perfection.
My song
is a melody
that lives
by shadows.
Perhaps wings
shall yet replace
heights never reached.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

GIVEN

Sometimes this is a word used to imply or suggest that, which is assumed or expected to be true. I was pondering the subject of spirituality the other day and began to appreciate how so many people seem to define what they consider as spiritual by certain “given” criteria.

Basically more than any it seemed that it was related to things that were positive, yet not related to the body or physical realm. I say that because of the number of times I’ve heard somebody make a comment on how some experience or situation to them was “spiritual,” but as I listened to their words I had trouble sensing any real spirituality from what they were saying.

I do feel it is safe to say that for something to be spiritual it would be related to the realm most often associated with what is called the soul. The soul is not an aspect of one’s essence that you can see. Nor is it an element of being that everyone even feels exists.

So that means what is regarded as spiritual will end up being defined by one’s own interpretation of what is a soul. To that end there are so many variations you could hardly come up with any universal statement that would gain total acceptance.

I think true spirituality starts with God. For the scriptures declare that he is spirit. Since Jesus is for a believer part of God then even though he did come to us as man, he to would be a spirit in his glorified state.

Thus if one accepts that reality, the then scriptures would be the place to truly harvest a credible seed of revelation on what truly is spiritual. To that end I think we understand that the bible depicts the spiritual realm as one occupied by both the Lord and his faithful angels as well as Lucifer and his minions, plus a host of heavenly beings that we have no way in this life to truly understand completely.

For us as mortal, spirituality then would involve the ways God’s spirit touches and empowers our lives through our souls. At least that would seem the obvious association from my point of view.

Mainly what has fascinated me is the number of people I’ve seen or encountered and in particular in a Church setting whom I had trouble seeing any evidence they were in any way influence by God’s spirit. They loved to act righteous and holy, but it was all seemingly conjured. A façade of convenience that served a social agenda.

I can only speak to what I’ve experience myself. There have been those moment in my life when I felt the lord’s spirit more intently in my life than others. It was more an awareness than anything else. But when I felt his presence, I also felt that sense of surrender and willing submission where the power of his spirit worked God’s will in my life, but not by my own strength. Often it has involved my doing something that wasn’t part of my nature, but served God’s purposes in a good way such as encouraging or inspiring someone. I know that isn’t my nature as a rule, so I am deeply humble when somebody tells me something I did or wrote affected that way.

Which is the one given I’ve learned is most often true. God’s spirit can truly do something through us that we can’t always do for ourselves. In so doing it is his way of reminding us how he was the real cause and not us so we don’t get filled with pride. And that perhaps is the most tell-tale aspect. Real spirituality to me that comes from God will humble, not fill with pride. A simple hint of reflection that hopefully touch those who might benefit from this posting.

Monday, March 13, 2006

LEADING WITH LEANING

Strength to me is not always the same as self-reliance. Some would regarding leadership as the type of strength that isn’t dependent on others. Yet I do wonder about the credibility of such a point of view.

It is true that leadership requires the ability to make decisions. That is to be the one who accepts responsibility for the consequences. If they are good you get the glory, if they are bad you get the blame. But at no point does a leader generally lead without some followers. Otherwise it wouldn’t be leading in reality would it?

There are all kinds of leaders. That includes the dictators with their “my way or no way” concept. They often lead by intimidation and forcing their will on others. Some people seem to respond best to that kind of determination. But it doesn’t always mean it is successful in its goals.

However the politician type of leadership doesn’t always work either. That is the one where the person leads by gaining the support and cooperation of others. Sometimes it is more popular, but doesn’t always mean in the end that it is more successful.

Regardless of the style, no one can lead without occasionally needing to also be lead. Such as no one can as a rule be a good teacher who isn’t also a good student. How can you teach others if you can be taught yourself? A trite question perhaps, but still the truth from my point of view.

What I am headed for with this posting is the idea of first the real role of a spiritual shepherd with a flock. There are all kinds that is for sure. And there are all kinds of sheep. Too often some of the sheep end up more like wolves or secretly think they should be the shepherd. That seems to be a quality of ministry and churches you don’t find as often in other organizations in my opinion. And given the fact that we are suppose to be a spiritual “army” of sorts, it is sad and odd how first of all the foot soldiers debate over the officers orders and often end up shooting the wounded.

But through it all the one thing I have come to appreciate is that a spiritual leader is also human. They have good and bad qualities, but are not perfect. However, above all they also need as a spiritual leader to have been God’s choice and anointed by the Holy Spirit in the process.

The other night I was watching television and came across this one spiritual program. The leader of this group had passed away and now in his place his wife had assumed the roll of his office. Perhaps this was God’s will, I’m not going to pretend to know for sure, but it just didn’t personally have a “feel” if you will on a spiritual level of being the Lord’s idea. I’m not saying his wife couldn’t be called of God. It just for me had the sense of it being a token response out of memory for the real leader. Thus instead of letting God bring a new leader of his choosing into the situation, they settle for what was “safe.” And in the process his work would obviously suffer.

To lead without truly leaning upon God’s pillar of truth is not real leadership in my opinion. It is to give sanction to one’s own selfish desires rather than God’s will. Sometimes the hardest part of leading can be it seems knowing when you really do need to simple lean upon him for guidance.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

JERUBBAAL'S REDEMPTION

Horrifying images of Midianite marauders
robbed his nightly slumber
of its precious peace.
In fear he hid in a wine vat
hoping to gleam a single day's grain
as much needed relief.

Then appeared the messenger of the Lord
bringing unto Gideon's lack of fame
the courage and calling
to rescue Israel
from the reminders of its terrible shame.

Poor Jerubbaal didn't at first grasp
with his words so rich in doubt and fear
the meaning of the heavenly message,
which the angel made so abundantly clear.

Through grace and compassion
God took this simple, ordinary man
and made him into the unlikely captain
over Israel's motley, warrior clan.

His army's defeat of the Midianite band
happened only through the Lord's perfect plan
having gained with by his helping hand
so that despite Gideon’s fears
by the Lord's strength
was ended Israel’s need for tears.

Through his story
I can thus always rejoice
knowing how any lowly soul
even one of my imperfect voice
may trust unto the Lord
to seek from life so much more
than failure’s empty choice.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

COFFERS OF THE TONGUE

It has been said that if you can say something nice then don’t say anything at all. I don’t believe this is necessarily a scriptural admonition though. I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul about not letting any thing come out of your mouth that isn’t profitable for edification. That is paraphrased of course.

I have to be honest and say that in all my dealings with Christians and church life edification has normally not be my experience. Complaints, you bet. Criticism, hate, prejudice and favoritism have all been a mantle I’ve know inside the walls of a house of worship. Not much different actually than what I’ve known at work. I don’t bother to say the obvious though.

The question is how does one help when there is a problem without truly mentioning the problem? It is best to simply not say anything? Or is it better to risk offending, by telling the truth. If the answer were easy of course I don’t think there would be so many problems with this issue in the first place.

For me the coffer of the tongue is found in the mind and the heart holds the lock. By that I mean that it is a challenge I feel to store up what needs to be said in a way that it can be share in a positive way. What is for example a good way to correct? Does it work best through intimidation? Or does inspiration bring a better response?

I don’t feel the answer is universal. I think each situation is different. Some people only respond to certain kinds of treatment. Not that it makes things any easier.

Ultimately I think that a person who follows Christ has to seek the Lord’s wisdom in any situation. It also means to be willing to let the Holy Spirit guide with the right words for each situation. Does that mean in every case we can expect the right results? Would that it was so!

Among the pillars of “I” where the ego stands upon a foundation of will, we stroll and look out from our own pedestal. Perhaps at times we can allow God to bring us to the ground to feel the earth of reality under our feet and know the truth. In the process, above all to truly and earnestly be prepared to surrender one’s own will to the Lord’s will. His good should be what prevails more than my interpretation.

Some walk blindly into the fields of life using a map they created with their version of truth that is printed in disappearing ink. Only God’s flow of what is written will never evaporate.

Finding the path of his light of revelation and purpose requires more than memorizing scripture or reciting trite spiritual rhetoric. It is a matter of a heart in link with one’s soul, gazing into eternity and letting that vision remind how when we are dealing with others, it is their soul that will carry the memory of the moment into eternity, not the form we see. May we rejoice to have the opportunity to share in love with what we know shall truly live pass the grave.

Friday, March 10, 2006

IT IS FINISHED

Can any true believer remember these words and not associate them with our Lord? It was that last utterance he made on the cross before dying. I wouldn’t pretend to know what our Lord was thinking when he said it, but I can appreciate that it meant he had fulfilled his purpose in this life. In the middle of all his pain and death biting as his body, he had the awareness he had done what had been his destiny. There was no uncertainty, no question about the future. He had the awareness that the “it” of his human life was finished.

For most of us I’m not sure we have that same point we reach. We normally don’t know when we are going to die and we may not even be truly clear on the “it” part of our life. (I can say for sure we can rule out savior though. The position was filled praise God!)

Finding the peace and strength when we don’t know the “it” of our spiritual life can be to say the least a challenge. It gets even harder if we are not called to some service that is clear and defined. To sit in the pews, serve quietly without fanfare and try to be faithful over all the aspects of one’s life may not have that quality of knowing when it is finished.

Ultimately we know finished in terms of this life may not be the one thing we will understand till we stand before our lord. Hopefully at the judgment seat of Christ we did reach the point of finished and didn’t halt before then having failed to do whatever we were lead to do by the Lord.

What I do understand is that the eyes of Heaven our upon us. They see everything we do. We have no way of knowing what eternal ramifications there are to every act and opportunity in our life. Obedience is that action of being willing to do rather than just talk. It is to be faithful when we are alone as well as when we have an audience.

How often we seem to crave reward. We seek comfort and approval for anything we do. Yet in the panorama of lives unfolded in the scriptures we see the times that the writer lets us see what others didn’t see. Our eyes have a chance to see the drama of faith as it was practice by some who are now made famous in God’s word, but at the time nobody knew of their deeds.

Who can say if there are more pages being added to God’s word in heaven. Will that eternal library of faith include our offerings? I have no idea. It is hardly the reason to be obedient instead of out of love. But I do feel when God lifts the veil of uncertainty and confusion so we can see his will for our life he also grants us the heart and passion to keep trusting despite the accolades.

Our lord died on the cross. It wasn’t a place of praise. And it was finished with death. Yet in eternity he will forever be glorified and praise. We will never be deserving of that kind of worship, but we can rejoice and knowing in due season the silence of our spiritual ardor will not be left without a period to complete the story. May it be one attached to a well done instead of a lack of faith.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

AFTER

Does sundown ever come to the light of one’s memories? Can we truly surrender the furnace of our negative passions to a cooling moment of forgiveness and calm when it no longer raises our blood pressure and mars our feelings about life?

I think it is a fair question. To me there is nothing more difficult than achieving forgiveness and the cessation of hate over some injustice.

I was in a bible study where one of our members was talking about how the only means of achieving such peace was to turn that problem over to the Lord. And I agree that I know I personally don’t have the strength to rid my life of such feelings by my own strength.

The question is does such a solution work as a cure for all such feelings? On one hand of course there is the issue of honestly being willing to turn the problem over to the Lord. We know that if we cling for whatever reason in our hearts to some problem or desire the Lord will definitely not answer that prayer. But if in our hearts we genuinely desire to surrender it to the Lord does it mean it will cease?

I think the honest answer is that sometimes the answer is yes and others no. I am reminded of how the Apostle Paul had sought the Lord three times to deliver him from what he called a thorn in the flesh and admitted God didn’t choose to grant his wish.

Why does God in some situations deliver a person and in others not? That is a question that we will probably never know till we our in the presence of our Lord.

I do believe that there are things, which he allows to continue to test our souls for the sake or our faith. And because we are all different what will test our faith also differs.

Beyond such an understanding I feel the rest must be left in the Lord’s hands. I don’t think it works to apply some formulaic solution to the problem that somehow takes away any respect for God’s sovereignty.

Of mysteries in life there are many. Of answers not enough at times. We wander the endless path between light to light, some getting detoured into a darkness that they think is light.

It is in the “after” of a crisis or circumstance that we truly have the most chance to discover within ourselves the doors of our being through which we don’t always pass. Sometimes there are keys provided by god not for the purpose of escape, but understanding.

Regardless of whether we obtain the rescue we crave we do know that in Christ we will find far more peace that groping for answers by the light of our own strength. With such peace and understanding comes the opportunity to endure. Sometimes the after can be a blessing when others think it is curse.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

UNSPOKEN

Behind the fleshy masquerade of an exhaled tale
where we claim of a clash we did prevail
the mind’s eye forms a chapel of secret revealing
guarded by our sentinel priest of inner seeing
who steers and inspires the actions of our hands
with his lucid and sagacious intended plans.

Rising in the dark void of misunderstanding and ignorance
the effects of our deeds
becomes a visible skeletal silhouette
exposing
what one’s minister of self
sows as the fruit of our social posing.

Through the long night’s vigil of discovery
we come to know the uncontrollable burning
from what we should become
when this moment appears
in the heart’s mirror
as our real image so painful, but clear.

Through the time forged core of our memories
there are created the veracious stones of our conscience.
They produce a panorama within
sculpting what we say
and caressing with words
as touching as a chilling wind.

One more quintessential confession
during the torch of a future day
and our souls
exchange
the bony suffocation of self-deceit
for the worth of truth’s better clay.

It is
that consummate sight
declared in one’s will
dwelling between life and cloud
ever thus guided
by one’s inner priest in his shroud.

Thus are we a mortal signpost
of learned honesty
sometimes pointing in the wrong direction.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

REPEATABLES

I heard a bible teacher mentioning once that it is very important to pay extra attention to the times in scripture where the Lord repeats some truth for our benefit. Basically given the fact that so many of us are easily distracted and don’t always pay attention we can appreciate why God would repeat some details.

After all if we are told something enough times most of us will “get it” sooner or later. At least that does work in a lot of situations.

The only complication comes when one misunderstands the original truth. Having a wrong interpretation only complicates the matter later because the repeatables become a verbal anvil. They end up being somebody’s “proof” text that their spiritual bias is approved of God.

One area that is so evident is in the area of sin and the issue of salvation. Legalism comes in many forms, including those of the “enlightened” teachers who claim to teach salvation by faith, but always add some qualifier that you have to do. They too are legalists, they just don’t accept that substituting one set of rules about things like giving or commitment for the ten commandments is still legalism.

It is through the vast array of scriptures devoted to talking about sin that God desires to convey a simple idea. Basically, the idea I feel being expressed is that we can’t be saved by our own efforts. No matter how good we think we are or try to become, we will never be without sin in our lives. And therefore we will always be in need of trusting by faith in the Lord for our salvation.

The other day I had an image given to me about the problem of sin in this life. Sin isn’t just when we do something wrong. It is in reality an energy or force that resides in the world to corrupt us. In that sense it becomes like a rain or river. You can use and umbrella or even attempt to dam the river, but sooner or later you will get wet.

There are some who attempt to dam up the river of sin by using some stones made of rules. The only problem is that the dam is going to leak. You might succeed for example in giving up some sinful behavior in your life. But the thing is even if you do manage to build the dam that ends one behavior, the simple fluid power of sin with end up gushing from somewhere else in life.

This isn’t intended to suggest that we should simply say, “If I can’t be sinless then I’ll just do whatever I want.” God looks upon willing reveling in sin as a form of rebellion. To knowingly and eagerly commit a sin with the presumption that “that God will forgive me” doesn’t work with the Lord.

So we are trapped in a spiritual wasteland and desperately thirsty for pure refreshment that will quench our parched soul. It won’t be quenched by thinking that somehow avoiding a given briar patch of sin will keep us spotless. The only real way to feel any sense of cleanliness for the soul is through being washed by the power of the Holy Spirit and the blood of the lamb. And because our garment of life gets dirty far too often with new sins, we have to constantly look to God and rely upon his spirit to do our laundry rather than take them to a legalistic Laundromat.

Monday, March 06, 2006

BEFORE THE VALLEY

I wish there were signs posted in life warning us that we were about to enter some valley of testing. There are times when we appreciate that choices result in consequences, but there are other occasions when the unexpected happens.

Plus life doesn’t seem to have any plotted cycles. You can go along one day and the world seems perfect then all of sudden some disaster strikes. Or you can be in the middle of what seems to be a crisis and then good news will explode in your face.

All of this is simple observation. Not a suggestion for a cure or a way to avoid problems. Still for the sake of this posting it is foundation.

I was having a conversation the other day with one of my employees. She was planning a day off and suggested this one other employee that is a friend of hers could cover her shift. Well this other person has covered her shift before. It was a disaster. The other person did only about half the work assigned in nearly half again as much time. What was really ridiculous is that this person had actually done this shift before so there really wasn’t anything new about the shift she shouldn’t have known.

The last time that employee covered the shift and it was a disaster came after several other incidents of her demonstrating she just didn’t for whatever reason have the ability to do what was required. So as the supervisor I basically removed her from the shift and decided it was futile to expect to have her try it again. I wasn’t trying to be unfair or punish her unjustly, but I did understand one simple reality about this situation, people often never change.

I’ve seen that for years as a supervisor. There are some habits intrinsic to some people’s nature that they will never change. It becomes an exercise in utter futility to place unrealistic expectations upon their behavior. So for me it is a matter of trying to place a person into a position that truly compliments their talents and work behavior.

And if knowing all that I ignore the reality and do opposite of what is logical and prudent then the ensuing valley is my fault. Which I might not enjoy, but I accept it as a point of truth one faces plenty of times in life.

I mention all of this as part of the “dynamic” of living that I think we all face. Yet we are emotional creatures and dreamers and sometimes want to ignore that burning in our gut that says if we do something it will lead to a valley.

With the spiritual realm even though God is in charge, he often allows those same parameters to effect us. Some people will treat it as a place where praying for God’s will can somehow sidestep this reality. But it doesn’t.

We might not always know the Lord’s will in life. But we still can appreciate how wrong choices lead to wrong consequences. Standing before the valley with your eyes closed doesn’t make the valley stop existing, even if you are praying in the process.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

THERE IS NO LAUGHTER

There is no laughter
where the spirit
flies
on a carpet of sorrows
woven
by a tormentor.
But sadness
can be a humbling chore
as it sows
one’s moments
with the seeds
of doubt.
Perhaps
the gold
within the mind
is drenched
in our tears
it will not rust
as long as it dries
from the warmth of love.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

TIMING

Do you enjoy waiting? I don’t. If patience were money, I would definitely be living at the poverty level. I don’t feel I’m alone in that regard either.

Of course my impatience is in part tied to how much stress I feel over an impending issue I’m waiting over. If it is something critical to my life, I’m fair more anxious than with something I consider minor.

The one thing I had never really thought about with worry in terms of impatience is that it is a sin. We are told in scriptures to “fret not.” And that basically how you never gain in life, by worrying. But I don’t think that knowing this in any way keeps us from giving into the pressure of stress when things loom in the realm of uncertainty.

I think it is so easy to get caught up in the details of a given problem that we can forget how God is still sovereign over life. For the follower of Jesus, the Lord enters into the mainstream of our existence and works his will in our lives. Thus so often things in such a situation will end up taking place by his timing and not ours.

Regardless of our desires, the Lord’s timing follows his ultimate purpose. He uses situations to teach, inspire and test our faith. I don’t believe it is because he doesn’t know what we will do, but because we need to learn what truly burns inside our souls. That process of discover can be very difficult and even traumatic at time.

What I don’t appreciate though in such crisis is having someone without a crisis preaching at me. They sit at peace and try to tell me not to worry. Frankly that doesn’t earn my respect or appreciation in any way.

Understanding is different. To have someone be compassionate and listen without judgment or ridicule can be a real blessing. It is just too bad that is so much more rare to encounter than the “lecturers” who want to make it seem like your problem isn’t really that bad.

Unto each situation God’s clock ticks by its own pace. Along the way sometimes part of the timing is to grant us a chance to find his timekeepers of ministry that can help us through the waiting.

That won’t always end the anxiety, but it is part of the timing as much as many other times. And hopefully if one is in a valley of waiting, the heat can take strength from seeking the voice of the Lord over the sobs of one’s own soul.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed. It is a gift when it does come. Maybe in the wake of our anxiety we can in a small way take comfort from knowing we aren’t alone in that valley even if it feels as if we are.

Grant us lord the heart to stand and also to rest in your strength. And know that your timing will always be so much more perfect than our desires.

Friday, March 03, 2006

OUTSIDE FOCUS

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know that so many things easily distract me. How often I completely miss details because my mind was wandering while I was trying to concentrate. It has been a life long malady and the only way I often cope is by making sure if I am too distracted to stop and trying catching my breath in terms of concentration.

I have a feeling though that I am not alone. I recall in this one book I read once that the author spoke of how often the human mind slips into automatic pilot when doing routine things. We simply fall prey to wanting to not exhaust ourselves by thinking so hard.

The problem such as when we are driving is such lack of concentration and letting one’s mind drift will lead to making mistakes and even accidents. It happens to often to be regarded as something that only occurs occasionally.

With a great many things missing a detail can cause problems, but not necessarily a disaster. Even though we might end up groaning, we do survive.

For some reason though it seems like we don’t feel comfortable admitting when this aspect of our live affects our spiritual experiences. I doubt anyone would want to confess, “Well I was writing the bible and my mind just sort of started day dreaming and to be honest I can even remember what I read.” It might happen, but I don’t think anyone would enjoy admitting it.

So there is to me a basic inclination to sort of suppress that element of reality in spiritual manners. We stroll into church, engage in the worship, listen to the sermon and then leave in part appreciative that nobody knew instead of paying attention our mind was thinking about some worry or concern. If nobody discovers our act, we can leave feeling relieved that one more Sunday goes on our “Well done good and faithful servant” check list in Heaven.

Do we dare stop and consider that God knows the whole time that our brain was in neutral and we can even remember what song we sung, let alone anything about the sermon? Probably not.

Is there any cure for this problem? I call it grace. I call it accepting the truth and taking ti to God’s altar of forgiveness and mercy.

When we can accept this reality we can also learn to perhaps embrace that as long as we breathe we shall be flawed in so many ways. It isn’t the purging or pretense of purging of such flaws that makes the difference. At least not from my point of view.

I prefer to come before the Lord undressed of such illusions. To stop and inhale the moment and what it has to offer. Sometimes the aroma is sweet and full of awareness. Others it is stale because I am mortal. Hopefully as we shed the garment of excuse we can be warmed by the more perfect fitting garment of God’s spirit empowering each of us as only he is able.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

IN THE LIGHT

There is a difference between “seeing the light” and understanding it? To be dazzled by some illumination, but not understand its purpose or meaning is to remind blind.

When Jesus was among mankind, he performed miracles. He gave light that it might shine into the heart, produce faith and allow people to lift their eyes towards Heaven see eternity. It was to be a ray of guiding, not life itself.

The gospels are far too graphic in their bluntness about how often people only saw the power of the miracle, but never really saw the light that was shining. They ended up following Christ in hopes of seeing more miracles instead of trying to see what was truly shining.

Not much has changed since then. So many more are attracted to the dazzle of ministries claiming to perform miracles than to those who try to be faithful to heaven’s purer light of truth. It is a simple message about human nature. Not necessarily a good one either.

I am reminded of what our Lord told the Apostle Thomas after the resurrection. He mentioned that Thomas had believed in the resurrection because he had seen Jesus. But that more blessed would be those who had believed without seeing.

Everyone has moments of doubt and uncertainty. There are times when we suffer from the need for assurance. Being in a world overpopulated with those hostile to the Christian message and eager to abuse those who belief doesn’t help.

So I can’t blame those who in the midst of a crisis or heavy burden of a moment of doubt look for some type of affirmation of the Lord’s reality. That is only normal.

However it is a lot different to have that kind of need from it becoming an obsession. How often in the course of week I find myself doing what I know God wants me to know, but there is never any fanfare. I am not rewarded for my labors with any kind of blessing or miracle. There is just the quietness of inner light that keeps me going.

I don’t claim to be special or that I am somehow unique to such an experience. Every day lots of faithful work at their duties without being appreciated or thanked in any way.

But we do grow weary. To which I offer up the simple hope and prayer to stop when that heaviness nearly cripples and close one’s eyes in faith. Allow God’s spirit to shine forth with some insight or renewal of strength that will turn the darkness into the brightness of hope.

It is a small offering unto those who spend too much time in the shadows of obscurity. For God is there too. He sees and such faithfulness will not go unrewarded when we stand in eternity and can see the light perfectly.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

THE BLENDER

Mix or match
the choices of fortune
never
revive
where rainbows
collide
with fantasy.
We churn
and burn
while sipping
upon presumption’s shake.
Sometimes
that powdery aftertaste
is the seasoning
from our secrets
one keeps
in a box
next to the one,
which is labeled
“god.”