WONDER

Wonder

The things we ask in moments when nothing makes sense. We sit and wonder, and wonder, but don't always get answers.

I have known plenty of people who have faced the same problems with the same results. Essentially, which is confusion.

Searching for answers is something that we all do. Sometimes better than others. And it still means we have to try.

But perhaps the greatest challenge is that we find ourselves in the place to seek the Lord in the process. Some times that never happens.

However, it doesn't mean it has to stay that way. For there are times when not having answers is very important.

If they came when we expected them and in ways we could control we might not turn to God for understanding. Which does affect when and how the answers either do or don't come.

The hard part is when the answers never come. I know I have had times in my life that I still have never truly been able to understand.

But this I have found hasn't kept me from believing in God. It just serves to help me appreciate that faith is not about having all the answers.

For this is part of the greater understanding we must all endure. And that takes time to truly appreciate.

I have traveled in those circles where they spent the days trying to pretend it all made sense and life was perfect. But that only avoids the greater issues.

For we can not spend time pretending life is other than what it is. And maybe find some good reason to justify our blunders.

But in the end, deep down we know that is not reality. None of which ever results in things improving.

However, some do manage to get by not thinking in the best of terms. They succeed in the joy of making up whatever story works for them.

All of which never is made any calmer or clear when we don't involve the lord. It just becomes another by pass of life where faith gets lost.

In the end, perhaps we remain other than clear, but at least with the Lord there is joy in th silence.

ROBES OF THE DAY

We all have those vestments of thoughts that dress our day. The little detours where we visit when life gets too hectic or troublesome.

However, the journey is to be fantasy. Hopefully we can recall that part. Enough to keep in focus that is not our passage for the always.

I was talking to a friend of mine once and he defined thoughts you had that were sinful as dead thoughts. Essentially I'm speaking of the kind that relate to thinking of hate or some evil.

Thinking about it still qualifies as a sin. For the Lord spoke of how if you hated in your heart you were guilty of murder.

Now it doesn't mean you went out and actually hurt another person. But we do think about it.

There is still a difference between acting on some impulse and simple thinking about it. Mainly in terms of the consequences.

But there is no point in lying about it. Such as the person I remember who talked about never having hated anyone.

I did have trouble accepting that comment. Just seems a little over the top in terms of honesty.

It just doesn't do any good if you lie about what is in your heart. You might do so in terms of impressing some.

But God knows the truth. And that is what matters. For what he sees is what is truly inside.

If we are able to accept that then we can face the truth. No matter how loving and caring we claim to be.

It does help when seeing ourselves if we can take time to be honest. That cuts down on the times when we end up thinking we are basically good.

How easy it is to fall into that trap. Suddenly to strip away the truth about our true nature and just decide we are perfect.

That can be so devastating if we get seduced into spiritual pride. So that will not improve our lives or souls.

Perhaps some day when the mind is right, then there will be no need for tales instead of the truth.

OPERATING

Can you slice a soul in deep painful strokes
with a scalpel of abuse
and then call the wound
curiosity's reward?

Knowledge learned
from a bleeding human heart
carries a price in the coins of sorrow
dropped from memory's pouch
for years to come.

Social surgeon's
performing elective operations
based upon appearance
miss the beauty that can never be seen
where their numb conscience's
are unable to remember
their prejudice's cosmetic surgery doesn't heal

PAST AND TOMORROW

I think it would be great if all the problems of our past disappeared. Never happens though.

Instead it is part of the garment of life we all wear. And problems that were part of our past, especially those affecting our feelings and thoughts will linger so often into tomorrow.

Is it possible to truly be free of some dark aspect of our lives? To find a way to be cleanse ourselves of all the stains that ruin our thoughts?

I wish the answer was easy. I wish there were ways we could actually be guaranteed to suddenly be healed of every shadow.

However, God doesn't always guarantee that will happen. He doesn't promise life without complaint or problems.

Even the most devout believer is still a sinner. I didn't say that we all admit to such. I have known my share of people who think they don't sin as Christians.

Which is truly sad. For if we can not embrace all we are, how can we ever find the truth? How can God help us see clearly if our eyes are wearing excuse's blindfolds?

I have seen so many with faith and devotion to the lord who sill have some major problem with a given sin in their lives. I didn't say I was any better, just that I accept that sin exists.

Now if we are not going to accept the presence of these problems what will certainly dog us is a future where they get repeated. And you can be sure that sin will be there regardless.

Just a matter of how much we intended to deceive ourselves in the process. Does accepting it mean the sin will go away?

No, for sin will not disappear just because we wish it were so? How do we cope with this issue?

There is only one way? By faith? To face the Lord with truth and see what he is his will. Then we can move ahead with his leading.

Some times it will be a joy to finally stop worrying about being imperfect. Even mores so when others are still do that.

Which is a game nobody wins. It just makes life less full of understanding and not as satisfying.

That is the part that can bless with peace.

SPECULATION

These are wonderful places to visit as the crannies of the imagination. To ponder and reflect on life with such focus and honesty.

Such is the joy that comes from times of silence when we are listening in ways our mind would otherwise not hear. Those can be such special times.

Providing we are not in situations where we are blinded by some other problems. If we ponder while in a closet our perception will always be flawed.

How often the mind can fall into crevices where the claws of our inner demons snare us and drag us downward away from the light. That is how the world works to often.

We might not always be able to overcome those demons. But we can admit they exists. Some can not even manage to do that much.

Which is really when things can be so difficult and crippling. You can fall into the closet, but if you don't accept why you can never come to terms with the reasons and ever cope with clarity.

Only God's spirit is capable of such empowering on a level that moves us ahead. One may find some personal victory that comes through meditation, but if it is laced with the illusion of control then it negates the real truth.

Part of the truth is that we all will enter those closets from time to time. We can either accept it or reject it.

The choice is ours. And it is not always one that is easily to make. I've spent most of my life in that valley it seems. Still not free from the times I fall backwards.

But I do accept that I fall. It doesn't mean that I will not fall again. That is what can happen so often.

To think we have reach a place beyond the realities that burden. That will always be so had to accept that it isn't true.

Moving beyond these layers of deception is never easy. And so often we can find that will be the point we think we are immune to the darkness. Which is not where the path of knowledge doesn't always lead.

We have to cherish the pain as well as the joy. Embrace where we have meant to be and a destination and not a eulogy. God can be the source to enable if we let him by faith. Providing we take small steps.

Many end up with stubbed toes on that journey. And that will not be what makes life move in a positive direction.

LIVING

There will always be a big difference between existence and living. We can have a time of life where it is merely getting by, but it doesn't mean we have to stop feeling any joy.

I have this debate going on with a friend of mine. This person is a wonderful person, but we don't necessarily agree on everything in life.

Sometimes there are for me occasions when demands require us to face reality. It is amazing how difficult that can be.

True is not always our friend if it says something other than we are free. That is the part that we have trouble embracing.

Not that it has to be that way. Merely something that evolves in our thinking and desires. Which can never truly strip us of our past.

The past is always relevant to the present. It is the place from where we came. Not one to easily be forgotten.

It doesn't mean we should live in the past. But neither can we pretend it no longer exists either.

However, the struggle can be to let God help us understand what we need and why we failed. That can be so difficult to always embrace.

Which is where we can really struggle. Alone in our thinking. Then we must endure the demands of wondering.

Hopefully we find the lesson and path that allows us to move in the right direction. Which is not always one we will see as a good option.

For God wants to grant us life. To let us know were we are suppose to go and when we are not.

Does this mean we will have all the answers in life? No. Does it mean it will become perfect?

Not that either. However, it is hoped that we can find the process that is real life. A moment of truth and realism that truly grants some contentment.

For to see into that aspect of life means to listen with the soul. Vision can get so fuzzy when we don't have God's help.

Such will lead us always forward. And for that we find a reason to celebrate once we grab where God asks us to follow. Just a journey of honesty that we all don't try to accept at times.

IMMINENT DOMAIN

Indian tribe
marching in heat,
towards latest
promised land,

Stragglers dying
from starvation
before reaching desert,
chief holding treaty,
he can't read,
his tears dropping
on paper,
blurring word,
democracy.

FRIENDS AND MORE

True friendship can be hard to find, even harder to maintain. Relationships often flounder where we are hoping they will burn bright.

Definitions of friendship do vary. For some they are a more normal event than others. But through it all we find the times when somebody calls us their friend, even if it is fleeting.

But none of us is the same. So our capacity to enjoy and savor relationships will vary. That is always going to be part of life. Not one we always will cherish either. For it is what life is meant to be for many, but not all.

How easy it is to define life by certain aspects and say they all apply to us equally. But they never do.

And god doesn't expect it either. If he wanted us to be the same I'm sure he could have made us all identical.

Which is why we have to be willing to let his spirit speak to us and help us see clearly. It isn't important that we be like somebody else.

But it is important we be what is his will for us. That means accepting where he takes us on the road of life.

However, it also means being able to regard the journey as under his care. So if doesn't move us according to our desire then we have to be able to understand and trust to his wisdom.

This can be really hard when the horizon is foggy. That doesn't make things easy for us. Dark and murky are not inspirations to our future.

They can depress and make us more likely to stumble. That is where it can really make things miserable.

Yet, God doesn't guarantee the road will be easy. Or that it will lead where we expect. Merely that the journey if we are trusting to him will can bring us to points other than we are prepared to see.

Along the footpaths we follow are the places that aren't always quite as easy to recognize. And if we decide they are suppose to follow a certain landscape it can even be worse.

Which requires us above all to seek the Lord most of all. This may sound redundant, but it isn't.

Instead it is the core truth we all need to deal with.

UNITY AGAINST THE SAME

Unity is an amazing thing. You can have two people who will battle with each other constantly until threaten by a common enemy. Then suddenly they are allies.

This is a dynamic of human nature we all understand to different degrees. I mean it should really not be that hard to appreciate.

But the other rule to all of that is you do have to also appreciate allies don't last. In the end if you do not realize this fact you could be in big trouble.

God's spirit does have the power to help us keep peace in relationships. But then we have to have the desire.

And there are times when that is not going to work out that way. For we will find ourselves in the position of being trapped in thinking some person we dislike is really on our side by choice.

Right up to the point that our common enemies our gone. Then out come the knives again.

But that is in part the nature of life and relationships. I didn't say it was a good thing, just one sad aspect.

In places like business. You know that politics and other issues play a part. A major role in fact.

One that we understand and accept. We just often thing that churches ought to be different.

But sadly they are not most of the time. Which doesn't mean it is something we prefer to accept.

All of which burdens us to focus if we seek the Lord. To let his truth guide us with what is important.

One such truth is that we have to embrace our right to each have a different opinion. And that we can all get along all the time.

Doesn't mean we will accept this, but it is something that we can't wish away. We can embrace its truth and move out.

But only with the Lord's help. And that means we need to accept his guidance in all such situations.

As with so many things this is easier to talk about than accomplish. For that reason we have to embrace this truth.

REFLECTIONS

Billowy ashen croissants
from nature's buffet
arching across sky
inviting spirit
to soar tempest flavorings.

Inhaling mesmerizing glaze,
soul's sugary confection
poured out from Heaven's bakery.

Ruffles in sonic resonance
stroke their ethereal calories,
deep inside the pulse,
a second of inner sight's
palette of succulent awakening
leaves taste of celestial
donut hole revelations
feeds mind
baker's dozen ecstasy.

TOO FAR

The journey between now and tomorrow can take so long in one's thoughts. At least in cases when we are searching for answers and trying to bridge one day with the next.

Then we cherish the memories and long for more. A chance to savor what should be in ways that touches.

It all comes and goes in our reality without words. Just the silence of reflection that leaves us wondering about times.

If no more comes into our thoughts, then we know what is pressing most for our thoughts. A need a a thought and it all comes to fruition in our thinking.

But where is God in the process? Do we account for his word or his will our calculations of our heart?

It is nice to imagine and wonderful when it happens, but if it doesn't not happen in our spirit through the strokes of faiths thoughts then it doesn't work as needed. Just becoming another consuming set of questions for which there is no answers, which bless.

And so we find ourselves in the corridor of wondering. Traveling it along the paths that are not always clear and to destinations we can truly define.

In the confusion we sing the song to ourselves of praying we can find the direction that truly blesses. Only that doesn't always happen.

And if we don't seek god in the process then it only makes things worse. For he will let us wallow in the places where there isn't light.

That will be for an intended lesson. But it doesn't mean we will listen. Often we don't. Instead we find our traces to believe in.

Thinking them a joy. And we settle for their comfort even if it doesn't truly bless in the long run.

Such is the sadness of our choices when God is not truly our guide. We just live in the torment of our disobedience.

Which is a wasteland having little joy. We can enter a desert regardless of the circumstance or obedience.

But it takes command of our thoughts if what we crave gives us no peace and what we love only leaves us feeling hollow.

Answers come in God's wind. Inhale if we dare to look and know we have gone too far by our own strength.

WILL RETURN

The joys of times we find ourselves in places or circumstances full of storms and doubts. We battle the elements that challenge and so clamor for relief.

When it happens we are thrilled and hopefully grateful. Now the big problems is when the whispers come.

The ones that ask, "when will this problem return?" Such anxiety it can create. A really problem in our lives that will not go away if we focus on it too long.

And the more devastating the crisis the more it scars our memories. To the degree it can truly rob us of our peace.

This gets even worse if God is not involved. It is always so hard on the mind when we have no means of protection beyond our own abilities.

I have so often seen the times when the mind of those without faith approach life in terms of trying to solve problems with the idea we can always fix all our own problems. It doesn't always work out to our best interest.

What is even more amazing is when somebody is focused as a Christian in only seeing resolutions in practical levels. Not that these are all bad. One does have to pay the bills.

And that makes things a matter of appreciating there are times when we do need do other than pray for answers. God's spirit does bless with such times if we are truly trusting him and will give us light to follow.

But he also expects us to do other than be spiritual. How easy it is to define a situation in the way that is the easiest to deal with even it isn't the correct choice.

Such as always looking for others to solve your problems. I remember speaking to my one theology professor and he as talking about how many time those studying for the ministry had problems in their marriages.

Most common problem is that the husband spent all his time and church and didn't take care of problems at home. From the man's perspective he was growing in the Lord, from the wife's view, she felt neglected.

How easy this becomes the way of our behavior if we are seeking to escape life. It isn't for me to say who was right, merely pointing out that we are all human and make mistakes.

That includes being wrong even when we serve god. Will return follows the path in those situations too.

It comes when we don't listen, which we all do from time to time.

TOMORROW AND NEVER

What is fleeting and what is permanent is always hard to discern. How often there are intrusions into our world that we can't tell if they are going to influence us.

We can't gauge if they are passing events or have some long term effect. We can pray, we can seek the assistance of others, but still not totally clear on minds of the fog. It is that shroud of uncertainty that never seems to clear with some things.

How easy it is for the mind to be stretched and bent in such situations. They can truly tax us in terms of making us imagine things that are not true.

Creativity is a great thing. But if it gets too out of control and not balanced, then we can suffer.

If the emotions burn out of control it is even harder to see clearly. We can find ourselves being so miserable in the process.

And if we pray with anxiety as our mindset the right answers never come. Plus they will not come when we need them.

Impatience takes it toll on our reason in that regard. We want release from our agony so much we will leap at any answer even if it is wrong.

This never leads to success. Just more frustration. For God will have his plans to do that, which truly is in our best interest.

It might not be the image or way we want. It might even seem to be a disaster, but in the long run, his wisdom shows its light.

And in due season if we allow ourselves the chance to truly see his wisdom shine we will find the joy of discovering what really is a blessing. That is the blessing that remains and truly does grace our lives.

We find it most in the midst of our confusion. Then comes the peace of when we truly have a chance to discover such truths.

Never is the one that comes with peace and surrender and not resentment. For it is where we can sleep with quiet instead of echoes.

Apart from that element we can get lost in the same fog as before. Left only feeling confused and angry.

Passing that valley can take some a life time. For that we are grateful if we journey and it is a learning lesson.

If not we will merely see the same landscape and learn nothing.

PEBBLE THOUGHTS

Tossing small stones
into the quiet glassy surface
of the pond my breath has born,
each missile spent as a thought
from my inner quarry,
splashing its fleeting glory,
lasting as my memories.

Little waves rolled
through tangential flows,
seeing in the waters
how sorrow's rocks of my life
drop among
my reservoir desires
disrupting its calm.

Feeling immersed
beneath the surface
where I swim free
from grainy agitating moments
left on forgiveness's sand.

Washed in the silent resolve
not to let what ripples my essence
drown me from sailing
where pebbles become an altar
instead of a boulder in my heart.

RESTITUTION

There are times when I know I've been wronged and felt this sure would have been a blessing. To have the harm undone the villain made to suffer.

But somehow it never works out that way. Evil never seems to get what it deserves and those who try to be honest get punished.

The imbalance does have a tendency to annoy and frustrate. And if we let it fester in our thinking it can really be heartache.

The big struggle is to be sure we don't get so depressed over the reality that our wounds might not find a vigilante. That we must be content with dwelling in places where it feels like a desert, being empty and barren to our eyes.

So it becomes easy to be bitter and resentful. The challenge I think is to try and not let it affect our faith.

That can be so difficult. We can so crave the images of revenge be given a chance to come to life.

But all of that should be prelude to the willingness to find some truth in our lives. So we can face the Lord with honesty.

God isn't going to strike us dead for being upset. He will not be happy with us pretending otherwise.

That is part of the challenge. We need the capacity to look into the soul's mirror and know God sees it too.

Without such acceptance we merely are pretending and well never see clearly. For we can not find the sense of things if we thinking we are really good people.

Oh we might be better than the person who is say a career criminal. But it doesn't mean we are angels.

Nor does it mean we are like god. We can express certain characteristics God might express in a small way, but it doesn't me we are exactly like him

I do wish there were more times of justice in life. That it truly did make a whole lot more sense at times.

But in the process, we can reach out to the Lord. And he will calm our lives and makes us more in touch with the truth.

That might not seem like much reward, but sometimes it can bring its own form of healing.

TIME FOR MORE

There are times when we have to look at what we have and rejoice at the blessings. There are others when it is necessary to change what we have.

It isn't always easy for some of us. But there are occasions when more is not an option. As with living in a house verses living in an apartment.

Most people would understand that option. They would appreciate the need for more when it applied to such situations.

But there is a difference for example between a house and a mansion in terms of housing. One is need, the other is more for show.

We do need to focus on the difference in the terms of long range priorities. Not in the area of housing, for that is just an example, but in terms of the greater reality.

Which is in terms of all the things required for life. And it is so easy, to be consumed with wanting the latest version of whatever because we decide it is a good thing.

Naturally, we will justify the process. Not by asking God of course, that will never be a choice.

For we know what God will happen to reply if we ask him about that question. It would just be too obvious.

So we just try to avoid that issue. And God in his mercy does a lot of times grant us grace for such situations.

What will flee the situation is our joy. If we mood and desires are not grounded in faith and guiding by his spirit, we can find the reality of happiness we crave totally elude us.

Only we might not actually realize this truth at the time. It will come with that haunting sense of emptiness.

That will nag at us till we see the reality of our choices and recognize how we stray from the Lord's will. However, some will never embrace this fact.

No matter how much God tugs at our hearts, we just keep clutching at our toys and keep thinking it is a good thing. It never really is, but we think it is a good thing.

Thus it the nature of our reality. And how it burdens us by our own choice. To move ahead is to stop letting what we crave be our god.

Then in the silence of our moments of resignation, we learn the lesson intended all along. Some will learn it well, others with bitterness, but better to learn than to not understand and live in blindness.

THE TOUCH

Monitor registering
her comatose heartbeat.

His trembling finger
lovingly caressing hand
of his teenage bride

MORE THAN ENOUGH

When do we reach this point and accept it? I haven't know too many that did? We just never obtain any level of provision that we decide is enough.

I was thinking about how this is very common in human nature. I think a classic example comes from the scriptures. During the time when the people of Israel spent time in the wilderness they were blessed to be given 'manna' to eat. It was found on the ground every morning.

And they were told, with the exception of the Sabbath, they were to only gather enough for one day. To not try and horde it for more than one day.

The reason was easy to understand. God wanted them to trust him either day and not to try to trust to the manna itself as their form of survival. For God was the real source.

Still, some couldn't resist, filling an extra jar for the next. It would spoil and never be useful.

I think the fact that they did try suggest they had the same problems as the rest of us with insecurity. That is really at the core of our thoughts so many times.

And it really is amazing how often that no matter how much we claim to trust the Lord, we still can give in to the desire to horde some resource. It never actually ends up a blessing, but we still try it just the same.

Which is why I think the Lord leaves us so many time in the places where we don't have the temptation to only feel we can control the future. Or focus just on our own needs as if there is nothing else important in life.

Not that provision doesn't have a priority. We do have to spend a fair amount of time thinking of our daily bread.

But is it all we think about? Does it dominate our reality till we can't think of nothing else?

That is the danger at times. We can become consumed with such things. Work to make a living is one thing, but living to work is another.

To pass before the sunrise and see God is to remember who supplies our daily bread. But to spend the same time consumed only in thinking about the time clock or money is a different view.

That is the issue we each have to deal with according to our own desires and thoughts. And if we are truthful somewhere along the line we will not forget that God is our real source of supply.

That is the challenge each of us must face.

TOGETHER

I love the idea of true unity. Not the kind of nodding false unity where everyone gives lips service to getting along, but really don't.

Yep, it is the sad part of such so called togetherness. And I'm really so disappointed when people figure that in God's house you are better to create the illusion of harmony instead of the real thing.

It is as if God is somehow not going to notice. Which is really unfortunate. For without the truth where does one expect to gain God's approval?

I personally don't think anyone asks that question. At least it never seems that way too me.

Oh they might tout the concept to make it appear they support theory, but not in practice. Which is obvious at times.

Only they never admit it. You can be sure of that. And if you dare to point it out you will be sure they will show you the opposite of togetherness.

It is sad at times how many times the real occasions when people who otherwise are feuding will work together is a case of mutual hate. Not quite the embodiment of love or reaching out to others that inspires.

But that is okay. I think most people appreciate and see the falseness for its reality. It is sad when that happens through a negative experience though.

That is the part, which wounds and causes such harm to others. For it only creates damage to people who often already have too many scars.

And the Lord is never honored in the process. We can truly be sad when we fail to embrace this reality.

Of course I doubt we can expect anyone to be honest of such feelings. They will never have the capacity to admit this flaw in their glass house spirituality.

What I think is the message God would desire we share is the one of his love and grace despite our shortcomings. For that truly is one that is a reality others can respect.

To stand and accept we can always agree on details, but work within such limitations. This is the part that matters. It is the element that blesses.

And for that we can be grateful for the rare occasions it does happen. That can truly give us hope when a few carry the right torch.

For the rest it is merely a game that nobody wins.

A COLLISION OF THOUGHTS

Such a great accident occurs when two mind disagree. They crash into an dead end with no agreement.

This is not the way life is meant to be. It is not the path that never brings joy or happiness.

And when it does happen where we go in our thinking is the place that can be either a desert or garden. For it shall dress us in a morning of understanding or an evening of confusion.

But it will not lead to true enlightenment if we consume ourselves only in our own needs
and stop thinking in terms of the Lord. This never brings the results we would crave.

It becomes our need and benefit if we can manage to listen and stop then we might avoid the conflicts. Such is the nature of life.

To move beyond the realm of our limitations can be challenging. It can be more than we can handle at times.

Still we must plot ahead. Savoring each moment that comes and look for answers. Knowing that God will always guide us if we willing to follow his light.

To lead into the shadows is to follow a path into places where there is no hope. It is never a place that brings peace.

And neither does it mean we must listen to the voices of others as if they are the only ones who are right. Such is the way some people function. They would treat this as a situation where their view should dominate.

Even if this isn't true, they will think it is. For pride will always play its part in this situation.

This is the battle we have to overcome in our own thinking. It calls to us to see the truth. Some will never do this.

For them the day will always have too many shadows. And they will be able to find more reasons to argue that agree.

God's spirit blesses us as a referee for peace. However, that only happens when to hearts truly are willing to search for peace.

In he midst of our wandering we can either fly into the moment and discover what truly blesses or stumble in the darkness. Moving ahead can be such a challenge.

And only with God's help do we speak with our hearts instead of our tongues.

PEBBLES

Mountains rising as echoes in the soul
fueling phantoms, flaming within one's heart
vision's granules collect inside mind's bowl
forming little stones in each sensory part
stirring celestial sands making one whole
feeling illumined drifts shine truths they impart
becoming heaven's glass for one's inner sight
ethereal nuggets bringing spirit light.

Turning into lucid chunks mind sees as stars
slivery seeds blooming insight's flower
life finding jewels is full of many mars
tasting from love's well of healing power
sorrow's grit at last washed from all one's scars
pulse's boulders change into passion's tower
hate's granite chunks erode and fall away
marble despair no longer rules each day.

FREEDOM

This is such a wonderful word. Conjures so many great images. And we each have our own concept of what it means to be free.

The problem is if in our quest for freedom we end up in some prison then is it really being free? I think the answer if obvious, but it doesn't keep us from being ensnared in some many ways.

Which is going to be a reality in life in some arenas. How many of us will have the freedom for example in terms of our finances.

Unless we are someone blessed with an inheritance or other means, we will have to spend our lives working. This is a part of life that I think was intended. We do need that kind of purpose and appreciation of how life is not a blessing that we should ever take for granted.

So that means we will all have to spend a fair amount of a given day at some job. It doesn't matter if we like the job, we will have to do it if we want an income.

And we may have some choice in the type of job, hopefully one we truly enjoy, but if not, we still will need that income. A simple reality that we all understand.

It is so easy in such situations to feel trapped. To look at the window of our place of employment and feel a nice to sigh.

Then the mind can wander to one of many places where we have so many regrets, the job bears down on us and everything just bothers us. The more we fall prey to such feelings the less we are able to savor what joy can come from the situation.

I always found it interesting how some are inclined to think the solution to being a perfect Christian is when you are serving in full time Christian ministry. As if one truly isn't called of the Lord unless you can escape what the rest of us must endure.

Underlying motives can be the real and honest desire to serve the lord, or it can be just a means of escape. Both can seem the same at first glance.

The reality is that freedom truly does flow from within. It resides in our soul. And if we see the Lord as our keeper who can chain our lives?

A question we can each answer according to our own desires and thoughts. But it is the joy that comes when we can smile between the ticks of the time clock for it doesn't control our heart beat.

Which is how we can still cling to the moments when demands rule and still have wings. That is part of what happens more when we have eyes looking towards eternity rather than the next paycheck.

SAVING PLACES

There are for many of us places where we felt the spirit of God more intently in our lives. This is not always in a church either.

It can be anywhere. There are many places where a crisis can come into our lives that truly does affect us in powerful ways.

Where is never a question. For God is not restricted in the places where he speaks to us. So it is a matter of whether or not we will listen.

That can be very difficult to always notice. God's spirit can reach us in some many places if we are willing to hear.

But if we get too caught in our thoughts, too consumed in only being consumed in a given problem we will miss out on his message. This isn't about being saved, it is about the quality of life we enjoy in the process of trusting him.

Quality is associated with joy. It can be the difference when in a valley as to where you find yourself able to find new strength with each step or merely get consumed with feeling the sadness grow.

That is the part of the journey that either sees light in the midst of the darkness as oppose to simply keeping one's eyes closed and saying tTere is no point to even look. Attitude gets burdened in the process.

Yet, to stumble is human. To move along that path with no hope never is a pleasant journey.

But to travel by the same path with a sense of knowing things will someday change can add anticipation to the process. It is all part of the routine of choice.

For me that comes in the spirit if we are prepared to embrace God as our guide in the journey. There are a lot who talk about as being their choice, but it never truly is what the do.

Such is the nature of faith. There is the part that comes from our mind and the part that enters our heart.

Without the desire to truly embrace this as reality, all the talk about faith just becomes words. It is vanity without any power.

For that I feel sad. Because that always cheats the person out of what might have been the chance to see more.

And that never truly satisfies, no matter how you care to view it. Just a case of moving ahead with the right choice in mind.

TIED

Social cobbler's
knot solutions.

Foot amputees
anointed experts.

Sock drawer
priority panaceas.

Bunyan euthanasia
stumbling's cure.

Secretly plotting
Velcro conformity.

PRAISES

Am I the only one who ever seems to have trouble with this subject. If you listen to some people then you are not truly achieving this function unless you get down right giddy.

Now that does not in anyway account for the normal nature of a person's personality. Is it really fair to expect a person who is somber or stoic by nature to act all excited?

The people who seem to see things that way are always the ones that are by nature very demonstrative. So since that is there nature, they claim you can't truly love God unless you show it by acting all giddy and emotional.

That doesn't to me mean that a person prone to being quiet is excused from praising god. It does mean we need to do it with a sincere heart.

To give thanks and be grateful doesn't require big words or smiles. It does require sincerity and honesty.

God truly does know our heart. He knows if our words have meaning or if they are just being rambled in order to go through the motions.

And no matter who we are that is not the way it works that please. It is what comes from our hearts that truly matters.

That might seem trite and a repeat of what is often said, but it is still the truth. And what if a person is sad and upset? Can we truly feel in a mood to praise God?

I think at times those are the most important occasions to truly lift up our voices. For those are occasions when we often will be most able to focus on how we really feel.

God will not strike us down for being honest. I think he would prefer that to pretending we are grateful when we don't feel that way.

Thus is the challenge we all must endure. And to do with all sincerity. It will make the difference to both within and without.

To stand in the light of God's grace and see clearly truly does require eyes that see more than our own lives. To walk where we might think it not worth traveling.

And along the way let the reality come into our souls that God truly is giver of all that is. If we let it soak into our spirit and see the truth.

Then we can find the tongues we need to become what we need to become in God's eyes. And that will always touch us more than if we struggle against where God leads.

For that I am grateful when it touches me in ways the gratitude comes in waves instead of yawns.

THIS LAND

How often are we inclined to treat something with the attitude of "mine, mine, mine." And of course it is easy to be possessive about the things we value in life.

We do have the right to protect what is ours. But we can't forget we have nothing that God hasn't given us.

And if we forget him or do not honor him how easy it is for him to take it away too. We probably won't be as prone to praise when we are being blessed as we are to lament when we have something taken away.

Thank goodness God's grace is not based upon our attitude. For he is far more long suffering than we deserve at times.

How sad it is when we become corrupted by blessing. When instead of fueling our faith it turns the other way.

Still God will not always remove a blessing as punishment. I have seen those who have hardened their hearts in terms of the Lord.

They keep plotting away, thinking they are blessed. Hording their land of prosperity and the whole time convinced God loves them.

They can pass a need and never care, hear a voice crying for help and ignore it. Their minds trapped on some urgency of indulgence as if the world is their possession.

Sometimes they truly do stay within the confines of a church. Sitting in the pew their view of being holy.

Feeling a tad uncomfortable from their bugling wallet, but living with that pain. Oh they love the lord, but their pocket books are so much more important.

After the message they will rush home to fuss over their roast and decide the preacher's message was okay since it didn't offend. Love is when the pastor doesn't say anything that inspires guilt.

But that is the nature of deception. Our reason to fuss over our land and forget its real owner.

The whole time thinking we are faithful and going to heaven. Sounds of sobs in the distance silenced by turning up the stereo.

And the whole time life plots along with visions of heaven, sensing that scent of brimstone, but figuring it is our imagination.

But then why worry what God thinks?

PEDESTAL PHANTOMS

What a shame when we put things on pedestals that don't need to be there. Or they disappoint.

And even when somebody points out how we shouldn't treat that given thing as sacred, we still do. Our pride doesn't grant us the freedom to accept the truth.

It is amazing how easy we can cover our eyes with excuses rather admit to any weakness in our nature or thinking. And if that given problem doesn't happen to be our problem it is even harder to understand.

Nothing for me is more amazing that when I see some people put on a pedestal. Hero worship is not that usual, but it is nice when it is somehow deserved.

It is like this one site where I participate, the reputations for being "great" that some enjoy only leave me scratching my head. I don't wish to be unkind, but to me such fleeting impressions of reality hardly, to me improves the situation.

And the more that we find ourselves massaging reality the more we drift from the capacity to tell truth from fiction. Which to me never leads to quality or success.

This truly can spell disaster when it comes to the spiritual realm. For when we don't enter into such a view by the help of god's spirit we can not become capable of any true clarity.

How often this prevails though. Rituals taking the place of insight, habit replacing the need for faith, tomorrow a point of lament instead of hope.

And somehow even when it doesn't work, we still think we have a reason to decide it is all okay. Just moseying along seeing clouds thinking we are blessed.

The whole time deciding God loves our path. Meanwhile, thunderbolts are striking all over the place and we stand and just say, "what?"

Oh yes this is being blessed. Not by God naturally, but as long as we figure it works when it doesn't think we are happy. That is not quite the path that leads to bringing us closer to the Lord.

Perception without the occasional stare into the mirror of confessions keeps our minds and heats clogged. They won't function as intended.

I savor the time that God is able to get my attention with other than a hammer. I rejoice when I stop talking long enough to listen.

And most of all when I can finally see what was there all along and know God was there the whole time.

I SHALL

Fence post impales bloodied skulls,
wind carries death moans,
barbed wire boundaries
dangling with gruesome pieces of flesh,
concentration camp stench
burning nostrils and gut.

Speakers blare their cursing oratory
swearing salvation has to kill
in order to redeem.

Gaunt body anguishes over terror,
flagellation nights leave wicked lasting scars.
Hands cuffed to treadmill crawling with vipers,
drinking toxic waste pop
to help numb their venom.

Knowing dawn will bring only darkness
falling into a crypt fill with putrid ashen mucus
having no future, mind paralysis
becomes a gospel.

Until a single light from love's phantom
whispers other than death into the soul,
rising in a breath having no fear of the mirage,
leaving it in the closet
walking out the door
smiling in the renovation of pulse
softly spoken in the words,
"I shall."

OBVIOUSLY

This can be so special at times. Others it just leaves you scratching your head. Mainly when the most reasonable choice doesn't happen.

I recently endure a situation with this one person that managed to prove obvious isn''t always the same for everyone. And what is amazing is if a person is suppose to be an expert on such things it is even more incredible when something is missed in plans.

But we are human and that means we do make mistakes. What is apparent to one is never clear the next person.

The hard part is to embrace all another person has in his or her life. Not just the parts that make sense, but the ones that don't too.

This for me has been a rather difficult lesson to learn. For tolerance was never the nature of those with whom I grew up.

They didn't believe in forgiveness or forgetting. Whatever you did wrong deserved to be remembered forever.

And if one make an obvious mistake this always inspire long lectures full of thoughts that really never improved the situation. That part is what I find less than uplifting.

I am grateful that God's spirit has been able to slowly help me to be more tolerant in that regard. I didn't say I had managed to achieve it completely, but feel I have made progress.

Which is a great thing because I have had a chance in one aspect of my life that has truly tested this part of my nature. I feel a certain sense of joy that so far this has been working out.

I am surprised though at times. But I credit God's grace for this aspect and not my strength.

And as long as I am able to remember that part, I feel a special sense of joy. Which helps to bring its own smile.

Along the way, I am happy when there are times that help me to appreciate such forms of acceptance of how others don't always see the obvious. It is always a much more pleasant situation when this happens.

For when I don't yell, the other person doesn't end up with a need to lie it seems. Honestly always seem to help more than other options.

God makes that obvious to us when we let him. Hopefully when we will listen instead of spend time making excuses.

DARK TRELLICES

Places to climb that do not lead to the light. There are many paths that lead upwards, but not to god.

How often the sensation of making progress somehow gives one the illusion of being blessed. Even though God was never consulted or involved in the process.

We just are more convinced that is we are growing in some way it is from the Lord. It is a wonderful concept, just not always true.

But instead of clinging to that sensation there are times we need to look for the truth. Does a given path lead towards real enlightenment?

What can really complicate this is if we let our emotions get in the way of our reason. It is so easy to find some excuse for our behavior. To look upon some major disaster and say, I did learn from it.

Only problem if we didn't learn the means to avoid doing the same thing again then it isn't truly progress. And how often that happens.

It is good to see the positive in any situation, but God truly wants us to understand how we fall short for spiritual reasons as well. I see a lot of people who deal with their issues of sin, but speaking of the good they learned.

They just never mention the sin that caused the problem in the first place and so they never deal with the real cause. To ignore that part is to leave a major piece out of the puzzle.

Leaning is always a good thing if it truly leads to growth. If it just leads to saying, that is why it happen, but you do it again, nothing really was gained.

This is so hard to accomplish without the power of the Holy Spirit. You can see whatever, think whatever, but only God has the ability to shine truth into the darkness.

Without his light, we can climb all day in the darkness and think we are making progress. Since we can't see how will we know otherwise?

I wish we all had that capacity, but it does require one to listen to the Holy Spirit and so often that never happens. And what if you discover later you made a mistake because you didn't?

That is the time most to turn to God. For he never is without the power to heal or guide. Providing we are willing to listen and not spend the whole time making excuses. Lies never get the Lord's help.

And he has no trouble knowing lies from the truth.

STOLEN THOUGHTS

Originality to me is not having a thought for the first time in your mind that was thought by others on countless occasions. Just sort of sounds less than impressive to say what everyone else has said and claim it was your idea.

But it happens all the time. And never more often than with Christianity. Which is really pathetic.

I was in the gym the other day and this one friend of mine was discussing religion with another mutual friend. The first friend is a Christian and a member of the popular mega church.

I respect the sincerity of his faith, but unfortunately, like too many he relies upon his impression of other faiths from the canned teachings of other Christians. That was obvious by how his comments were to stereotypical.

That is the said part when we resort to limiting ourselves into only presuming and not try going to the source. Personally, I took time to actually read about other religions from their own teachings.

It didn't influence my faith in God or Jesus as Lord and Savior. But it made me appreciate what drew others to a different faith.

And with that exploration for me came understanding. I didn't just put people in a box that said if they believed a given concept or follows a given belief system then it means they are a certain kind of person.

In reality all faiths have those who are both moderate and extremist. That is not a problem akin to a specific religion.

Being a fanatic about one's faith doesn't have to be a bad thing. But if we use it as an excuse to call hate love then it is terrible.

How many times have people been harmed by such approaches? It never helps in the process of understanding or faith.

With our other friend who didn't follow any religion, he and I had a wonderful conversation once the other friend left. And it was nice to see him be willing to discuss the subject even though he wasn't decided on what he believed.

So I did enjoy feeling that perhaps by I did open a door that might have otherwise been closed. And I did it without having to claim what I knew was my own thoughts.

I'll have to wait and see if this bears the fruit it should. But in either case, I know that I said what God would have me say and that is worth more than any sense I knew it all that I might need for the sake of pride.