VESTIBULE MADNESS

VESTIBULE MADNESS

This is my view of certain traditions that seem to make one thing only aliens go to church. I know that might seem like an exaggeration and I'm sure in part it is, but still there are some pretty strange things associated at times with worship services.

And sometimes it seems that the stranger it is the better. Like being weird is a sign of spirituality.

Oh I didn't say the person viewed it that way. Just how it appears at times when you are seeing it from the outside.

I believe that God is wise and I believe he is also a lot smarter than we are. He does communicate things in ways that can make us thing, but I don't believe he does so with a specific goal to confuse.

Now what possesses some to think that is God's way, I can't say. I only know how often it sure comes out that way by the time some convey their version of God.

Perhaps my first view is above all God does know how to say what he means and doesn't do it in a way that is intentionally vague. It is true that with truths he does clothe them in symbols. But that is for special purpose and not the same as conveying things like the message of salvation.

I think evidence of this happens when one sees how the Lord often spoke in parables. They had an easy to understand meaning.

But often they had a deeper meaning too. Still people understood them. And that was the goal.

And even when the message gets a little fuzzy the truth is that God will still provide a means for it to be understood. He provides his ministers to be his voice.

Now that is where it can really get muddy. For the reality is that those who say they represent him may not truly be his anointed.

I don't wish to criticize or imply I have some set standard for knowing who is for sure his called ones, but I think I sure have seen plenty that didn't seem to be serving his purposes. And they loved to tell you what the bible means by their interpretation.

Just doesn't mean it was accurate. How easy that is to run cross grain to his purpose. And to add some rules or traditions that God never mentions.

The less one knows about scriptures the more it can be hard to know the difference. To which end it is so important to listen to God's spirit.

For he will be able to help us to see and feel what is coming from the Lord.

OPEN DOORS

Doors can be a symbol of many things. To me one of those would be the heart. A barrier to prevent those who might threaten from causing any danger.

It can also be a entry to where the most wonderful secrets are kept. Those little gifts we are afraid to show anyone.

Some are ones that God sees and sends us ways to be aware of them ourselves. For there are times when we keep the door closed and can't penetrate the darkness because of doubt or other issues.

God's spirit does gives us ways to be touched so we have reason to open the door. But it doesn't mean we always are willing.

Sometimes it is just easier to pretend it is locked. And then we can have a good reason to not face what lies behind the door.

Keeping the door shut prevents the monsters from escaping, but it also denies one the chance to see the blessings too. So we never end up with the joy, which counters the sadness.

In the tension of the moments each decision not made, we feel a small cringe from our failed courage. And with it comes such wonderful excuses

But then it is part of the nature we endure in the ways we deal with the doors. And if we do it the Lord's way it will be a joy.

Not always at first. For it may pain us to have to have to look and see some gift that is lying unused.

That might upset us to have to know how we overlooked it or even never accepted it was there. But then that doesn't mean we have to stay upset.

We can appreciate that it didn't stay that way. That at least eventually we discovered it. Which is better than to find out in eternity.

Like so many I have at times kept my doors closed. And that means I also still do so at times.

It isn't a fact I am proud of. For there are times when human nature dominates. And when it does, we fail to see clearly.

But it is more when we have a key and refuse to use it that we have the biggest problem.
Because we just are not even willing to look at all. Until eternity of course, when we all will see what we didn't want to see in this life. Hopefully the gaze will be a time of rejoicing.

OPEN HANDS

Open hands reach towards cries
love given, strings never attached,
need heard when others are deaf,
lips don't defile the gift,
counterfeit intentions not stains
upon the deed.

Free in soul to bless
famine's beating landscape,
eyes not lost in glory's labyrinth.

Wounds felt from moans uttered
insides burn with compassion.
Ambition's castles put on hold
joy flows in smiles shown
because somebody treated
another's pain as their own.

Treasure sought in lives fed
gold cherished by what restores,
secret purpose always being
to share in ways that stops the bleeding.

Incentive found in mirror
flashbacks to valleys travailed,
footsteps worn in sorrow's trail.

Most pricelessly gem in mercy's diadem
hope shining from a dim, forsaken life.

OFFERINGS

Gifts from the heart that are done freely and with no conditions. Most often perhaps associated with giving in a church.

But in a broader scope I think it involves other than just money or in a church. It is about the way we cling in faith to see all we have as the Lord's.

I marvel at the people who make giving such a big deal, but only keep it related to their tithes. They got home to their luxuries and act like, this is mine and god is not going to touch it.

Oh they will of their time and resources, but with a certain degree of complaint. Never the type to enjoy such activities.

And they will never treat their belongings as a source of offering. Not unless you can get a receipt for tax purposes.

I think god is concerned more with the nature of our heart. How we regard what he has given us.

We can so easily get caught up wanting to keep our possessions itemized in terms of what we seek as ours. But that is not God's ways.

He sees it differently. And he will test our heart in that regard. Really does have the ability to pick out the one thing we have as god and make it slip from our fingers.

There is no sin in having things. But as long as we maintain the right attitude towards them. Which is easy to give lip service and not mean.

How often that is a situation where we all fail the test. It is just so easy to think this is just for us.

And God knows that nature in our souls. Which is why he tries to give us challenges to see that we shouldn't let such things control us.

However, no matter how many times this happens, we do still trouble truly embracing it as the lord would want. Only because we are human.

And fortunately God does know this. Which is why he is long suffering with us. And hopefully sooner or later we take the hint.

But it doesn't mean we always do. Which is why there are occasions when we will still have the problem come up.

Because despite our words, in our spirits we might still be clinging to the choices to keep our toys. Which happens to often.

UPON THE WIND

The wind is a symbol for many things. It can be an image for change, a warning of a storm coming or any number of other things according to our interpretation.

Among others things the wind can also represent the Holy Spirit. How the Lord can so influence our lives in such powerful ways, yet remain unseen.

But just like really wind, we can try to avoid the affects of the spirit. That might not be the ideal option for one who is practicing faith.

However people do it. For the wind of the Lord can be resisted, but you will miss the blessings.

Why would one resist? Because it feels uncomfortable. We don't like being pushed in a direction we don't control.

That is often the central issues. Our sense of self control. Honestly it is part of the problem we face.

And sometimes it isn't a matter of faith. I'm known plenty of people who truly trusted the lord in some many ways, but just couldn't bring themselves to accept when God wanted them to move in a direction other than was their desire.

How easy it is to trust when it involves doing things according to our desire. Oh we might even savor when we can do that in a way that allows us to you get some attention as a good and faithful servant too.

That makes it wonderful and very worthwhile. But what if God wants us to go against the direction of our comfort zone?

Most he won't do that with more than once if they resist. Not that it means they are not saved, just that the miss out on possible blessings.

And let me tell you God has certainly pushed me in so many directions I never expected to go. Fortunately, once I got over my initial concern and fears, I discover the flight really such a blessing.

Didn't mean others always appreciated it. If you are flying to a place they never are willing to got, then they will not necessarily celebrate with you.

Because you can be sure that they don't enjoy the reminders of their own fears and doubts. Which is why they will criticize too.

That way it can be so much more satisfying to accept why they preferred to go inside and forget the wind. And will probably always stay there while you are drifting to places they will never see.

HER GIFTS

Sitting on the table
waiting to be delivered,
two hand crafted stuffed toys,
made each year for shelter's children,
always bringing such hugs and smiles
from sweet, but abused hearts.

Always be told they come from Santa,
no child ever aware
they were the product of feeble hands
belonging to blind grandmother
while resting in her bed,
whose love for others took
dim eyes could not mar..

Presents shared by adults
that once themselves received
one of her treasures,
finding out later their source,
granny's heart reborn in them
the truest of her gifts.

IN A RUSH

The haste of life that makes it all the more difficult to live. For we get stuck in a race to some destination, and in the process lose an appreciation for the journey.

The end becomes our only focus and not what happens before we get there. Not that the end doesn't matter, it is just that without remember this day and its priorities we can lose out on what it offers.

I'm currently faced with a change coming in my life. Not tomorrow, or even next month, but one that I know is coming.

And even though it is going to be a blessing over my present life, it still is not going to happen today. And I have to admit that for a while, I forgot that.

In the middle of my misery and longing for a change, I wasn't doing all I was supposed to do about the now. That only made the present worse.

The other the Lord manage to get my attention on this reality. To helped me be aware the being faithful also meant focusing on each day's needs.

I have to admit that I did appreciate that nudge. It brought my life and back into focus better.

That doesn't mean that I have given up on the coming change. Just know how important it is for me to keep clear in my head what I must do for the now.

When will the change come? I can say for sure. Only that it is coming. And that part I have no doubts about.

But that is okay. For at times I accept how that is important with life. Waiting, which has never been one of my stronger talents, but I have learned to try and adjust at times.

Admittedly some are far better at it than me. And I keep trying to improve. But I am grateful that God has helped me to understand how there are times when waiting is a test of our lives.

We might not enjoy the process. But sometimes it is part of the trial of faith. And it can truly be critical too.

For often if we don't learn what we are suppose to know in one situation, God won't let us move on in our lives. So we end up stuck

Now if we end up being stubborn and not obeying as he would lead, we can keep repeating the same problems. Not that we will necessarily be happy about it, but it will bear down upon us until we listen. Sometimes we just always seem to have a need to stay after class in terms of the Lord's lessons.

TESTS OF THE SPIRIT

Well this is not as easy as it might seem. Being able to truly discern when a spiritual voice is speaking for God and when it isn't.

It might seem obvious, but not as apparent as some think. For it requires the ability to look beyond the glitz and pious facade that surrounds some spiritual person to see the message shared.

Large crowds in a house o worship are not guarantees God is the author of the gathering. Neither is having a small church either.

When we fix our minds on seeing only the outward and not truly hearing what come from within. All the trappings seduce, but what is doesn't mean is that they are shining with a true light.

By that I mean if what is being said doesn't give the glory to God, doesn't lift up the name of Jesus and in any way contradicts scriptures then it doesn't come from the Lord. You can have a host dressed in white robes and singing praises, but if it only draws attention to the self, then God is not really being honored.

So when this happens, it is hard to look pass on that impresses the senses. And oh my how such people love to look so righteous.

As for love, well they are so good about talking as if they are loving. Just can lose a lot in the translation.

It is sad when God's image is tarnished in the process. So many that just come away with other than a sense of his real presence.

Which is not something that ends in drawing one closer to the Lord. What will happen is one's perceptions will get slanted.

And in the process some ended up wounded. God is seen other than loving and people find their faith shattered.

Meanwhile, the Lord is not remembered in a positive way. And people turn their back on the only real love that can endure spiritual levels.

For those who survive and those who don't, God is still a god of love and forgiveness. He will tarry with broken hears.

In another time when the tears have dried, He will be there to touch in a way that only he can touch.

And then the life can live again with the joy of discovering the Lord one never truly knew in the midst of all the lies.

WOVEN

Life's thoughts strung into a fabric of opinions. And when we get done, well what we have is not always a thing of beauty.

It doesn't mean it is bad either. Just not necessarily accurate. Oh it might even look great and impress a few, but you know that doesn't mean it is correct.

We can weave any fairy tale reality we want, but it doesn't mean we are going to enjoy the end product. I've know so many whose fabric always had stains, but they never admitted it.

You ask, and they go, "what?" As if doing that will somehow keep the stain from really being there.

Then come all the stories. Ah, well you see that happen because a waiter dropped a cup on my garment.

But what doesn't come from it is the truth. For it is easier to blame such stains on clumsy waiters, even if they don't exist, the get to the core of the truth.

Describing tears in the garment as a learning experience can be uplifting, but it doesn't allow a person to explain why they got the big hole. Or more important what will keep it from happening again.

Seen so many who will become so philosophical about the stains and tears. They will give you the history of fluids and scissors, but in the end nothing really changes.

Why? Well there can be many reasons. I personally think we love to dictate to ourselves out life is in control.

Basically to treat our situation where things happen by our choice. Even if they didn't and even if it was no way to improve it we will write the story as if it was something we planned.

I think God truly does want to help us get over such delusions. It isn't complicated, just a fact of life.

Which is that we all sin. And because we are sinners, if we don't admit that element and look to God for help, how can we stitch something new and worthy?

So few answer that question the Lord's way. We don't want to admit we are sinners in need of forgiveness.

Oh we want to blame others, but as far as admitting we did anything wrong, and as a sin, ah, that really doesn't work for some. And yet, god truly knows this and still loves us, which is the best fabric of all.

A SUMMER'S TALE

Winter is such a great time to remember summer. And wish for all the warmth. Of course dreaming about it is not the same as experiencing it.

So by summer how many times do we end up thinking in terms of winter? Just part of our nature to always want what isn't available.

The challenge being to savor what we have when it is ours to be claimed. And to find the good that is there as God would reveal it.

I have known so many who don't do that. They will spend their time concentrating only on the downside.

This never improves things and the complaining seldom seems to make people really feel better. But we do it anyway.

I wish that venting our feelings really did help. It just makes me feel worse in the long run.

Now what is so amusing is how some act like they never complain about anything. They would never admit to any negative feelings

Not sure how such views really help. I have this one friend who is known for being encouraging. And is very good and being uplifting.

Still this person does have plenty of opinions that fall in the shadows. Which is not what you would consider as truly helpful in the long run.

I've never met anyone who didn't have at least some dark moments in their thoughts. And I don't think God expects us to be perfect.

But the choice is how we deal with them. Pretending they don't exists never helps. It only makes things worse.

However for some it is the path they follow. And they let their reality slip out of their lips is yet another said element.

For not admitting to same is just as big a problem as actually feeling that way. There are many paths to God in terms of understanding.

But not seeing things clearly in terms of our feelings only clouds what we are suppose to know and recognize. This will never bring light in our darkness. Just a false flicker

God will help us when we seek him. When we truly do so without wearing some self righteous or denial lipstick. But then we have to be willing to leave that part at home in a closet that we keep closed.

VAULTED HEARTS

Vaulted Hearts

Vaulted hearts, guarded and constrictive
working mammon's magic in surrogate fiscal slayings,
until coins clinking from Heaven's bank
resound with conscience tones and change them into manna's tender
lucre stains turned vaporous in the spiritual
as blood changes from infectious greedy green
and into love's crimson hue while hearing the clash of swords,
escaping selfishness confinement making dollar signs into hands
reaching out into the morass of suffering
humanitarianism denomination minted from horded lusts.

NEXT MORNING

Well life always appears different when we look through morning eyes. Ah, that is a really important view.

Somehow when we are rested and focuses like improves. It might not get perfect, but it will look better.

One can never cling to life based on yesterday and deciding to make it the rule for tomorrow. That never works very well.

But some will try. They will always make the moment something they decide will change life forever.

It doesn't often work out that way, but many try just the same. And when it doesn't click for them they will not accept they did anything wrong.

Instead they will move in a direction of deception. It will be the place where nobody wins.

But they will try just the same. God will of course try to inspire some clarity. However you have to be willing to listen and many are not.

Still some will persist in following the process of not including God in the thoughts. which never solves the problem. And tomorrow morning one can wake up feeling bad again.

Because without God's whispers to help guide we are just end up seeing with our own delusions. This never ends in benefit.

Some never make that connection. Others will just ignore it. And I have learned in times to accept the need to embrace this truth.

Each morning offers its own options and possibilities. We can either accept to face it with the right view or not.

God doesn't force faith upon our eyes. We can chose to either trust and wait or just lament.

But we can not expect gold from dross. And we can not move ahead when lies hold our tongue.

That never ends end peace. Just another venture where we don't need to go. And that will not grace us with blessings. Unless somewhere along the way we hear God and listen.

Which is an easy habit to not practice. Such is the nature of life when we don't always turn to the Lord.

GUARDIAN

In her moment of lost sublime
tears staining her white satin dress,
love's vows shattered by his betrayal,
shadows groping at her soul,
sorrow's storm coming again
as so often during her wounded past.

Waiting for night's ethereal wind to bring her rescue,
feeling the darkness impaling her spirit in anticipation,
breathing it in deep and exhaling her grief,
room filling with ominous presence of her lifelong watcher,
soon he'll venture forth in creeping wrath
weaving his power over lives, to add agonizing layer of misery
upon those who wound his heavenly charge,
for at times guardian's of light don their black veils of vengeance
taking the terrifying form of a reaper.

HARMLESS

It is interesting how some things at first appear harmless then later turn out to be a real disaster. Really is something that happens far too often.

But the big challenge is to not let pride influence in some way. It can be hard to admit when you did something wrong.

Such as underestimating when some thing or individual is more of problem than others. We might feel to proud or in control to admit that kind of mistake.

So when disaster out come the excuses. And the more often it happens they bigger they become.

Really is regrettable that we let our minds become harmless by our lives. But that is part of being human.

As is making mistakes. All part of being human even if we don't wish to admit to such weaknesses.

And that is when the stumbling comes. Times when we fall over our thoughts. Just a way of being sucked into a pit of deception.

God isn't inclined to let us necessarily savor that kind of deception. His spirit will stir us to not stay in the shadows.

He will shine a light into our darkness so we see what is really there. And then too be able to see what is also important and truly threatening.

Satan does know our strengths and weakness too. He knows how to approach us so our guard it down.

Then we don't have the ability to see when there is danger in what he sends our way. Instead we only see something not to worry about.

That is when he can truly intrude. We take something for granted. We simply do not sense the danger.

Until it is too late. At this point once we are bleeding, we learn what we might have learned if we had been listening to God in the first place.

Which happens more than once. Because we often have short memories in that regard. We don't learn to be more careful and guarded.

Mercifully, God does forgive and is long suffering. He will hold onto us during the bruises. His love will endure. Hopefully we learn from the process, but too often all we do is repeat it again.

PRIME TARGETS

You don't have to be an apostle or minister to be a target of Satan's forces. None of us really can always know what contribution we make in terms of eternity.

And there are times when it isn't something we will truly understand. For there is no reason for us to know.

Now I do appreciate when there are those who think they are being attacked by Satan when in fact it is the result of their behavior. If one is naturally abrasive and insulting it will not make you popular.

Do that enough and you can be sure some grief will come your way. Which is really sad when the person doesn't recognize it

There is a big difference from evangelism and abuse. We are to reach out, but that doesn't mean we have to grab people by the throat.

Too many do that. And never have a clue that they are not really helping themselves or the lord. Just the sad way of seeing people who end up thinking they are so faithful and all they do is upset people for the wrong reasons.

This will result in so many bad consequences. Only they will never admit it. They will just blame it on the devil and being persecuted.

What is missed is that they are prime targets of Satan, but as his pawns. They will scurry about being beating with their bibles and make God out to be a bully.

And what is a tragedy is how above all the person remains blind to his behavior. The individual just keeps plotting away with hate consuming.

It never changes and never does the person see the truth. Just keep peddling the dogma of bias and ignorance.

Does this ever result in a change within the heart? A chance for true redemption? It can if the person ever accepts God's hammer.

That is when he hits the person up the side of the head with wake up call. It can be painful and very humiliating, but necessary.

However, God won't do this if the person heart is too harden to listening or responding. That never will improves things.

In the winds of time we fly by wings of many feathers. Some come from the Lord others from dark source.

We were soar depends on the choices we make in terms of if we flap our wings or let God's spirit do so.

GONE AND FORGOTTEN

Faces that past out of our lives, hearts we lose touch with for one reason or another, it all is part of the changing aspects of life. And then when you do finally meet the person again, it is never the same.

The void has severed the same intensity of reaction. Even if we want to reclaim we might have trouble with the reaching that same point of feelings.

The other day I had a phone call from a former co-worker. He was cordial on the phone and we chatted a bit. His purpose in calling was to check on some business.

But after that part we discussed the past. It was amazing how time had colored his impression of the facts.

Which is his right, even if it doesn't in any way translate into reality. I know I too suffer from the same malady, but I do try to bring some balance to my thoughts by including the facts.

By the end of the conversation he mentioned it would be nice to meet again. So we talked about him coming over to my house that week.

He took down my phone number and promised to call during the week. However, I knew in reality he would never call or come by.

Why, because unlike him, I remember his nature from the past. He was just being social to get the information he wanted.

And he had done that before. Only he never actually kept most of his promises. So I knew he wouldn't in this situation.

Which turned out to be the case. Was I disappointed? Not really. I might of if he had truly changed from his past nature. However, I knew that hadn't been true.

So while he loved spending time rewriting the past, I just remembered it as it was. And the same also holds true with the Lord.

We can attempt to rewrite our sins when in our prayer time. It might even sound good when we say it, but in the end, God will see the truth.

And part of eternity is Him helping us to see its truth. That can be a painful journey, but in the end one that helps us see what we didn't see before.

And that brings growth in the death. Which blesses with special ways that help us beyond any tears.

Providing we don't get blind in the process.

WINTER'S HEART

Falling from heaven
each a priceless unique gift,
frozen in their newness,
until love's warmth thaws.

Melting into life,
becoming part of waters
from what we all must drink to live.
Every drop so special
for it once was God's tears of joy.

NEWSWORTHY

I wish this was a case of always bringing smiles. But it seems the world is far too full of information that does not sound uplifting.

Some prefer to evade facing this issue. They like to see the good in everyone. A commendable approach. Even better if such acts of redemption.

But you know, if kept in focus, we do not sin is not some temporary condition. It will linger in life no matter what we do.

Such is the sad reality by which we must live and reside in this realm. But that doesn't mean we can still try and find things hopeful in life.

I only wish we truly made more effort to find something good, which could be broadcasts instead of just bad. However, curiosity does seem do demand that approach.

We can always retreat to that realm. Of surrendering to the shadows and not to the light. To only decide all is lost and can not rise to the moment of importance.

But then we must obey our inner essence. That is to often full of things we don't like to think about.

Such as hate. I can't believe the people I have known that won't admit they can hate. It is as if they are immune to being hurt.

There is a difference between having hate and acting on it. Hate is the heat of pride and react to injustice.

But it doesn't have to burn in way that controls our fingers. I think so often there is a fine line between when we hate and when we simply let it flow through some bias.

That happens to often when we refuse to honestly accept what is inside our spirits. Pretending it doesn't exists never brings any really solutions.

Suppressed hate only turns to some other form of expression. Which is still hate even if we don't admit it.

The Lord spoke of if we hate in our heart is has the same meaning as actually murdering someone. But hating in the heart also includes when we don't admit it.

Just a matter of how one cares to define such things. And to call hate as anything other than hate is to simply live in denial.

Apart from such views there are the truths we all must face in life. Being human includes having both light and dark energies. Just not accepting them as the control of life when they have darkness is what makes the difference.

BEING NEEDED

Now if you are talking about being needed where you help somebody and they end up being grateful this is a good deal. But if you are like being needed by somebody who is a pain in the butt, forget it.

Like if I have to be needed by old rat boy, Junior Hemoglobin, well that isn't going to be fun. Oh he needs us alright, just not for cool stuff.

I like when we help those such as a damsel in distress. There are a few of them around you know.

I think it might even be a job of some kind. Can't say for sure, but you know who there are all kinds of weird jobs these days.

I imagine there could be a school where they can train for that type of employment. Never seen it listed in papers, but I reckon it probably could be found.

I just don't know if I would care to find out the location. I mean to they like hire out damsel to places in distress? Well do they?

Man I would hate to think of the homework too. Or the tests they offer. I bet it includes you know, some swooning lessons. Damsels in distress seem to do that a lot.

Not that it really is a big deal. Just you know I reckon there really is a lot to this whole damsel thing that somebody considers worth knowing.

Now as a grimefighter I do admit that there are times when saving the world can be kind of exhausting. And so you sort of like to have a good reward to feel it was worth all the trouble.

And I hate to be honest about it here, but you damsels are the best at giving out cool rewards. Really what they offer is a stupid kiss on the cheek. Like I can take that to bank or eat it?

Wish they could do something more helpful like say pass out some jelly beans. That way I could feel I got something decent out of the deal.

Oh you can't quite tell them either. They aren't good at that part. Too much swooning on their part I think.

Don't have time to you know actually go shopping. Maybe if they could not be in distress as much it would help.

You would think they would have a chance to learn the difference and perhaps find better ways to steer clear of the distress stuff at times. Then they wouldn't have to only kisses on cheeks for helping them out.

LONG TIMES

Distances in seconds between the things we care about. And the things we desire. This can truly be so important.

Yet it is hard to feel those moments and not embrace how they have their struggle in our lives. Because we seek the dreams to be our gold, even if it fails in that regard to be true.

And then comes the time we have to wonder, is there really a point to such chaos? Always feeling that inner sense of turmoil.

Never being able to feel the peace we crave. And never being able to find the place where the dreams can be found other than at night.

To move beyond the valleys in between the places we crave requires faith. We might not have a road map, but the Lord does.

And though the directions might not always make sense, nor satisfy, we still are better off following his lead than our own path. Providing we can keep ourselves focused on reading his map.

That is so often found in the promises of his word. A trite answer to be sure, but doesn't mean it isn't true.

The struggle comes when we listen to much to other's opinions. When we decide somebody's opinion is more important than the Lord's.

Do enough and the detours will appear. Somebody will offer up their version of truth and to please them we will accept it.

However, God's path is the only one the leads towards home. That place where God truly wants us to be.

It is always more comfortable and peaceful than when we follow somebody's directions to a campground where we have to dwell in their tent. Like that every helps.

Such is the nature of being human. Approval has such powerful hands to strangle our reason.

It just will not end in the place we truly need to be. So we can listen when somebody shows of their post cards from their version of heaven.

This will often be a brush job of distortion. So underneath it lies some dump. And that will always be less than a pleasant option.

To follow the Lord always means enduring being around guides how are not truly helpful. Only God's spirit can give us ears to know the difference.

LOVE BENEATH THE RAFTERS

Ah, the joy of finding passion in unexpected places. And aside of the contrived romantic tales in the movies, I'm not sure it happens that much in real life with a story book ending.

Make for wonderful fantasies though. The idea of finding that one person who perfectly matches you dreams and living happily forever.

I think the divorce courts take a way a lot of the illusion about this reality. However it doesn't deter people from getting married.

Part of that reason is because we often believe in our uniqueness. We think we can succeed where others fail.

So as long as our hearts are floating on some seas of feelings, which we decide are love, we go for it. Because we all have such a need for that touch in our lives.

On human level we always get mixed results. Some relationship thrive others flounder, but none are perfect.

And on a spiritual level love is something related to the soul. We feel it so intensely knowing it is related to the Lord.

But like with other kinds of love it is easy to presume the feelings are true regardless of the way love truly related to God. For some the sensation of loving the divine can apply to any god.

Thus if the feeling is there it must be legitimate. That sense seems to be enough. And even though the god worshipped might not be real, the person feels the love in his or her view as true.

Which to me comes down to the simple reality that there is a difference between being in love on a spiritual level and honestly having that love be genuine. Just feeling it isn't enough.

And I think part of the difference relates to what God is in our minds. Which also is related to one's faithfulness.

That is part of spiritual intimacy. Which doesn't happen unless we truly let ourselves be naked before God.

This can be so difficult for some. Because we do not want the Lord to see our sins or weakness. Even though he knows there, it doesn't mean we accept it.

To truly stand naked before the Lord let's the light of his love shine into our essence. When this happens we are truly able to see how much God truly does love us. Some never find out because they are to obsessed with covering their nudity.

ELEMENTS

What truly lies at the core of your being? What is the thing you value most in life? It is a question that we all have to answer in life.

But not always able to find the answers where he look. For sometimes we are driven by our desires and not by our logic.

When that happens it can teach us something about ourselves. Providing we don't get trapped in the frame of thought to excuse our shortcomings.

Feeling that we are in control of life is so important to some. It might be an illusion, but some think it is important just the same.

To truly reach into the core of one's life requires eyes we do not have. They come from God through the power of his Holy Spirit.

And we are given sight to truly see what we honestly value and believe. That can be a painful look at times.

For the truth isn't always flattering. But not looking can truly be more difficult. For then we are stuck in darkness.

It can be very comfortable in that environment. We just can relax and see only what we want see.

That can be so satisfying as long as we don't worry about the truth. And we might spend our whole lives dwelling there.

This can be a place so deceptive. For we honestly decide we are good and have no problems.

Left to think we are even without sin if we let the delusion continue. This naturally does not bring us closer to the Lord.

Some can spend their whole lives in such realms. They can go to church, sit in the pews and genuinely believe they are somehow perfect.

But normally this all comes to an end when meeting the Lord in person. It doesn't mean that is the best time to find out we had our eyes closed too long.

And even knowing all of this does not mean you learn and see everything. For none of us has perfect sight.

However, to gaze with willingness to look brings us more sight than to pretend all things are perfect. God's grace truly abounds the most when we are in the shadows of ignorance.

SAFE

SAFE

Feeling secure truly gives of all us a better joy than any form of paranoia. And how blessed life would be if we never had a reason to worry.

I wish I could say I never worried. I'd be happy if I got through any day without panicking over something.

I don't confess that with any degree of pride. Just being honest. Which might not be the type of thing a person who claims to have faith should admit, but it is the truth.

For me the main problem stems from my basic sense of insecurity. This hasn't exactly made me able to always be positive.

Which I might not be as incline to react that way if I hadn't had so many occasions when the thing I fear or worried about actually happen. And then there were other incidents when the unexpected occurred.

So I do have a few flashbacks that often rip at my memories. Panicking just naturally follows.

Does that mean I don't have any faith? That I don't believe I trust in God for any reason? Some might think that.

I don't. To me being flawed is just another reason to lean on the Lord for strength. And I have no sadness over admitting that is what I do.

Which is perhaps what means the most to me. God doesn't expect me to be perfect. Even in my ability to trust him.

There are those who make it seem as if you can't be blessed by God if you don't have a faith that never wavers. But that is not really true.

Doubts do creep into our thinking no matter who we are. It is just an issue of how often, which will vary from person to person.

All of which is understood by the Lord even if we try to force reality through a straw of our own bias. Fortunately God is more merciful that we are in that regard.

But we have to accept it as true. Which can give even those who are like me, never in a position to feel safe, some hope.

That is enough to help us keep trying. Knowing that in our weakness God can truly demonstrate his power to help and heal.

How much more blessed this is than those who sit and lie about their problems for fear they will be seen by God, even though he sees them anyway.

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Alone in the desolate midnight box
of suffocating quandaries,
anemic passions dream of transfusions
from sweet echoes of lover's lips
who are vaporized
when the alarm clock buzzer sounded.

Begging for a miracle,
one single hand that isn't conjured
while grasping the bed sheets,
imagining not being alone
and them wrinkled from intimate wrestling
instead of tosses and turns
from the burning gestures of pure hunger
eating at her soul
until feeling so hollow,
a naked shell ready to collapse into sea of tears
if asked the single question,
"what is wrong?"

Walking trough the myriads of flesh
inhabiting the concrete slabs of mercenary tyranny,
her eyes plead their misery in long deep stares,
hoping somebody will listen to her muted glaring screams,
just one precious heart to acknowledge
that she is not invisible nor worthless.

Waiting in her mummified inhibitions for that moment
when ears respond to her quest
which she has sought in all the strength
that her fears and timidity can allow to extend her feeble reach,
always wondering if somewhere in the maze of life,
someone will answer her unspoken question,
"can you hear me?"

HOLDING ON

Wonderful in theory, better in practice, but nearly impossible to always accomplish. Such is the nature of life way too often.

Those times we give ourselves speeches full of resolve and faith, but then we get crushed by the exhaustion that follows. As if the wind has been taken out of lungs. We love our dream, but can't handle the reality.

So instead we end up in the same mess as always feeling sad and depressed, but still clinging to the hope that a miracle will happen. And we let it linger no matter what else occurs.

However, that doesn't translate into change. And the absence of change really does wear heavily on our thoughts.

For part of the strength we feel comes when there are memories of success. Those moments that are lodges in our recollections about times when things did improve.

They can be anchors during any storm. Journeys where we have past through any shadows.

And that is always a blessing. Providing they happen at a time near enough that we can still think of it as a possibly.

Still, this is not enough to let our grasp remain firm. It can, however, help to make the reason we hold on be stronger.

I wish life didn't have so many times when we had to hold on. That we could instead be able to always have help when life got to heavy.

However, holding on is part of the reality of trust. We have to learn that we can't trust with always having our arms free to do what we want.

That would be too easy. And you can exercise faith if you really don't have to trust God. Theory believe just doesn't cut it.

Oh there are lots who will practice it. They will love to talk about that being the nature of believe. Only they do it in less obvious way.

Which really is so essential in this situation. One have to be able to accept that truth, that inside we need the capacity to see our weakness in terms of trust.

God already knows it and doesn't need us to lie about it. That doesn't mean we don't. Instead we will when we need to.

At least to ourselves, and with God in our excuses.

TELL IT ON A MOUNTAIN

This is a line from a old song. A nice sentiment, maybe not the one that reflects life in a way we wish it would be lived though.

But then I do find it very satisfying to think that perhaps God has a path for us that truly is for us a mountain top experience. Mountain tops being a nice image of some truly moving experience.

They do happen. Perhaps not as often as we like, but they can happen. The most important thing to me is focusing on being ready for when those moments come.

Far and wide apart as they might be, it is wonderful to experience. But life can not be built on such moments.

No matter how hard it is for us to embrace that desire. We have to embrace the simple reality of listening to God's wind.

That is the breath of his Holy Spirit. It can rush across our lives in unexpected ways. One that will enable us to have spiritual passion.

It might seem like a strange word to associate with spirituality, but I have really come to appreciate its merit.

For without the heart of desire to trust God with all our hearts, we simple fall down in the ice bergs of the days. Feeling cold and lifeless, wish to give up at the first storm.

Nothing will kill the joy of salvation quicker that boredom. And if we sit around dreaming of life before our current condition it can be so sad.

If we get stuck in a lament mode. Then we never grow. Just flounder. And that never leads to a mountain that God truly blesses.

So we move ahead with the right focus. To see the mountain top from God's point of view.

It isn't about getting high. It is about inhaling the air of his visions. One which lead us to see God more clearly.

Doing that will bless. For we will see what is his will. And learn in the process. Otherwise it does not bless us.

For we neither grow or mature in our relationship. We might still crave the mountain top, but not for the reasons that God wants.

And in the process we never walk we he wants in the valley. Where the mountain top can still be felt if we him to reveal it.

SKETCHES

Surreal doodles
hued in abstract light,
truly a masterpiece
when etching
on another's mind canvas,
what lives in artist's soul
until it becomes their world

GALAXIES AWAY

I do wonder at times about this. If all the answers in life are really kept on some planet in another galaxy.

Perhaps that is too much of a sci fi solution. But I consider it a possibility. Would explain a lot in ways.

However, if that is true, God hasn't told us. He has not bother to explain such if it were true.

And of course I'm not really trying to suggest such is true. Just this idea that rolls through my head at times.

So unless an angel happens to show up to affirm this then we are stuck accept the answers that are available. Which are always incomplete to say the least.

I won't say I enjoy this. But I have accepted it a necessary given the imperfect nature of life.

It just can't be avoided. Why? That is another of those questions that gets filed away for later.

What is hard is trying to keep faith in focus in the process. It can be so hard when unanswered question contribute to doubts.

Such is the nature of life. And why we can't force ourselves to embrace the lack of answers as prove God doesn't exist.

I don't think it means that at all. Just because the Lord doesn't tell us every detail the way we want does say he isn't real.

It just is another facet of trust. God is the source of all wisdom. The Lord the keeper of truth.

And when we stand before him I have no doubts will be answered. Maybe we won't want the same answers by then.

I think we will not worry though. For in light there is knowledge and you celebrate since the shadows no longer bother.

We just embrace God and trust to his wisdom. In season we will know what we need to know.

Hopefully in a way that truly gives us joy. That might not be enough for some, but at times enough is not the option we have.

Until then we can always rejoice questions have answers, even if not when we want them.

BECAUSE IT IS WRITTEN

Yep, this truly does inspire. The idea that when something is in writing it means more than when we just say it.

It is like if we see it in print then it must be truth. Which is really rather absurd from my point of view.

For how can this be the case? But it does seem to work for people. And frankly that is the best part.

Because that means I can deal with it on a good side when being a Mayor. That is what happens when I am able to you know write some law.

That is all it takes at times. Unless you are talking about somebody who can think and doesn't actually believe that writing is god.

They can be hard to fine. Which is good for me. I don't need lots of people questioning my laws.

My solution when somebody does is to ask them to write me a letter. Which is mainly a stall technique.

Some will never bother. Others will take the time. But it won't be a rush. So in the end, I get space between me and their questions.

Then it gives me a chance to respond back. Again with a letter. Now that is fun too. For I will take my time on that part.

When I do, I normally find someway to refer to some other laws. Again the writing ploy. Isn't that special?

I think it is. And I'm darn proud of being able to accomplish it. Only they will not bother to checking out the other law.

Because they know if they complain about that, I will give them another one and another one after that.

I tell you this is such a nice maze of ink to get trapped in. I savor the irony, for it truly does leave me with a smile.

Then I can totally grin and bear it. As in bearing all the ways I get to avoid making anyone think I am up to something, but the ink says I'm not.

Now that is not so bad, when you can smile and enjoy the moment of truth. I don't get to that point much, but I try to smile about it just the same. That works for me and it always will.

SPLENDOR

This is a wonderful word that conjures such great images. As if one is walking on a mountain top and enjoying the view.

But that is the simple meaning. One the eyes naturally see. It doesn't require much conversation to understand.

What is truly as breathtaking is the inner splendor created by God that we can only see with spiritual eyes. That is the part, which is often ignored.

And it is because we can't always see it the same, the splendor doesn't get appreciated as easy. Which often impedes our vision.

For our eyes are focused on this life and its possessions. And when this becomes our obsession our real eyes get blurred in the process.

Which is not the way that leads to truth. It just confuses and fails to enhance life. That is something that does not ever result in good options.

Only we don't often accept this reality. Because after all this was just another episode of where we went deaf towards the voice of God.

How often we do this without even thinking about it. The words just flow out of our head and we never remember or pay attention to what they are saying.

I think it does make the Lord said as we might feel as parents when our kids misbehave. That happens so often. So often with all of us, but he is merciful out of love.

We are blessed at times despite this shortcoming. Which is another facet of his grace that gets lost along the way.

I don't say this happens because just are heartless or indifferent. More often I think it is because we are deaf in our distraction.

And so out of the habit of seeking God first in such situations that we simply don't think of that as our first choice.

In the process we miss out on the splendor of hearts. A chance to truly savor a landscape not on any map.

For that reason we end up needing these moments. Chance to reclaim what should have been part of life always.

But that does require the God's spirit and most of the time we just don't listen. View lost in the fog of our own thoughts. Not reclaimed until those occasions when something happens to force our eyes open.

WILL THEY?

Crystalline surreal gaze
rips mind from wandering tomorrow's playground,
denial evaporates in a heartbeat
resignation journeys life's every memory in a blink
sipping on the chalice of stolen seconds never lived,
one last wish exhaled
with question that will never be answered,
will they remember me?

Fear in face of grim reaper's silver wings
clinging to what truly comprised a quest for gold,
shall love unspoken and never shared
be forgiven by those standing over one's grave?