HOLDING ON

Wonderful in theory, better in practice, but nearly impossible to always accomplish. Such is the nature of life way too often.

Those times we give ourselves speeches full of resolve and faith, but then we get crushed by the exhaustion that follows. As if the wind has been taken out of lungs. We love our dream, but can't handle the reality.

So instead we end up in the same mess as always feeling sad and depressed, but still clinging to the hope that a miracle will happen. And we let it linger no matter what else occurs.

However, that doesn't translate into change. And the absence of change really does wear heavily on our thoughts.

For part of the strength we feel comes when there are memories of success. Those moments that are lodges in our recollections about times when things did improve.

They can be anchors during any storm. Journeys where we have past through any shadows.

And that is always a blessing. Providing they happen at a time near enough that we can still think of it as a possibly.

Still, this is not enough to let our grasp remain firm. It can, however, help to make the reason we hold on be stronger.

I wish life didn't have so many times when we had to hold on. That we could instead be able to always have help when life got to heavy.

However, holding on is part of the reality of trust. We have to learn that we can't trust with always having our arms free to do what we want.

That would be too easy. And you can exercise faith if you really don't have to trust God. Theory believe just doesn't cut it.

Oh there are lots who will practice it. They will love to talk about that being the nature of believe. Only they do it in less obvious way.

Which really is so essential in this situation. One have to be able to accept that truth, that inside we need the capacity to see our weakness in terms of trust.

God already knows it and doesn't need us to lie about it. That doesn't mean we don't. Instead we will when we need to.

At least to ourselves, and with God in our excuses.