FIRST AND THEN

First experiences can be such powerful memories at times. If it is the kind of first experience that is a positive one then we can truly cherish it always.

The problem it seems is that we never truly seem to capture that same intensity of energy when duplicating the experience later. Our senses just are so conditioned by the first time encounter that we totally absorbed the data, then we don't achieve it later.

I don't think this is surprising to anyone on an intellectual level. Just makes it hard on the level where we embrace it in our hearts. We never tire of wanting to taste that event with the same power.

There are times when we come close, but then it never is truly the same. And you can help wonder I think, how come this can't be more a regular event rather than a one time experience.

But it is truly engrained in our minds and remembered. And because it is in our minds it is something that lingers and affects our thinking, creating an appetite of longing for the experience.

On a spiritual level I think the element of faith becomes relevant. For when we go from some mountain top first experience an into a valley it is our capacity to keep trusting the Lord that is what counts.

Some seem to forget that part. They just don't seem to be able to fathom that they can't live on the mountain top.

So what they do is turn that experience into an addiction. Always chasing some emotion high in order to feel good about trusting god.

Of course no one can live on the mountain top and that is not God's will for our lives. Instead he guides us to more and deeper appreciations for his word and truths.

They grow deep into our souls producing a rich and wonderful capacity to love him that doesn't have to be entertained. It is one that can endure through the tears.

But some would never allow for tears. They expect smiles no matter what. A nice theory, only in no way does it actually come true.

So for some the walk of faith is one that travels all levels of human feelings. It doesn't only function when things are perfect.

If we see and cling to his word and truth, then is what becomes a joy instead of sadness. for that we can be grateful. It gives us a means to celebrate even when it doesn't touch our reality with some special gold that makes us smile constantly. Which for me is enough at times regardless of what some say.