PASSED THE GRIND

Wouldn't it be great if we could really do this? Sort of like having a monkey on your back that you convince to go and give someone else lots of grief.

But as wonderful as any of that might seem, we all know there are some valleys and burdens you must bear alone. Or I should say there are some that you must bear only with the help of the Lord and not another person.

Some times we are able to understand why we face a certain trial and others the reasons elude us. But I believe that there are lessons that can be learn, with the Lord's help.

Lately, my wife and I have marveled at the amazing changes in our lives. We both grew up in environments that were abusive and harmful on different levels.

Fortunately, we were able to avoid being equally abusive to our son. We hardly were roll models of complete love and care, but I feel that we work harder at supporting and encouraging him than was ever done for us.

Now we are grandparents. And it amazes us that given our background that God would entrust us with that responsibility.

But I also know that because of our trials and suffering in our own youth it left us with a desire to be otherwise with our son and now with our grandson. So even though for many years we wander with a mind full of unanswered questions about our own upbringing, we now see the Lord's wisdom in using it to see we did better for future generations in our family than the past.

There are always two ways of coping with such valleys. One is to take the negative approach. Basically, I was deprived of love and affection as a child so why should I be forced to treat my child any different. That is too me an example in the scriptures of where the sins of the father are passed on to future generations. It is the curse and allowing Satan to blind one to God's will in relationship as a parent or grandparent.

The other approach is where one learns from this heartache and tries to not repeat the same cycle. Thus obedience to God's will in terms of parenting ends up being a blessing instead of curse.

None of this guarantees perfect offspring. That is not part of the consequences any parent is guaranteed. But I do feel where there is love there is more chance for it to flower as a blessing than where there is only hate masquerading as love.

I pray that God will grant his mercy to the hearts of any who have known the pain of an abusive childhood so they too can be a blessing and not a curse to their children. Perhaps we can't undo or always heal the past, but hopefully with God's help we can take life in a different direction that Satan would seek to pervert with his lies and seduction. Sometimes such victories come only in the quietness of a hug.