HIGHER AND HIGHER

Can a person truly live on the mountaintop? I think the honest answer is no. However, I’m not sure we always accept that as true.

Life has more than its share of moments and valleys where darkness covers our moods. Which makes the lure of mountain top highs even more appealing. Still they are hard to reach because they are mountains and you simply can’t stay there. It a way of symbolism I suppose the reality is that the air needed to truly breath regularly is simply too thin at those altitudes.

Basically I think the fair question is whether one would truly even want to live on the mountaintop even if we could? It might seem like a silly question, yet is it really?

The mountaintop is after all that euphoric state where we are consumed with an indescribable joy. Only it is a fire that can only burn so long. Eventually we just get exhausted emotionally and the emotions cool.

Some who are addicted to such experiences because of other issues in their lives often find themselves drawn only to things like houses of worship where they can “feel” the Lord’s presence. Yet we know that God is everywhere.

Thus comes the sad irony of the whole process. Emotionally one seeks the spiritual clouds upon which to fly and feel that lilting sense of being.

However it all only impacts one aspect of life. Isn’t our real mountaintop also one which allows you to see more and farther? To grant one the precious joy of new and richer insights.

Sometimes those only take place when we are in the valley. We learn more about the Lord and our relationship with him in those dark places.

Not that feeling good is a bad thing. It is just that it is only temporary. If nothing is gained in terms of understanding when the feeling dissipates you have actually gained from the process.

Perhaps in this we can appreciate the sadness the Lord felt with those who were attracted to his miracles, but never to his or a willingness to be a disciple. They craved experience, not a new level of faith.

Higher and higher is also a state of being. It is that layer upon layer of thought added to life as we grow in the Lord. Only it doesn’t come in lasting foundations by spending all one’s time chasing the dazzle and glitz of life or spirituality.

There are times when you truly have to get into the very muck of life to see the glory of the Lord as he reveals himself in what we are experiencing. That is the kind of high that can last a life time.

BEYOND THE SMILE

It is funny how sometimes a sad memory can produce a smile. That happens to me when it triggers a reflection on how the now is so much better than the past. This may not always be true, but when it is and one can see the Lord’s hand in the change it is truly inspiring.

Today my wife and I went on a combination of both chore and errands. Along the way we were consumed by thoughts about some changes looming in our live that are pause for a smile. We will soon (with the Lord’s help) finally get to move into our house. And in a few months we will be expecting the birth of our first grandchild.

There as so many past moments in our life that were filled with tears. Memories of past relationship that ended in failures continue to haunt us.

But on occasions like today when we are blessed with a hint of a future so much more full of smiles, we felt both warmed and joyous. More than anything from the awareness that none of this took place without the Lord’s touch.

So in the midst of savoring a respite from our routine we were filled with that simple warmth that lies beyond any conventional smile. It is the place we can travel where it allows us to see what is the true origin of that joy.

Then in awe and gratitude one can always vocalize, the soul sings in a quiet voice uttered in one’s heart that God can hear. It gives praise without words or show. Till the light of day brings another time of harvest to solidify the vision.

Being in a valley is always such a joy when you reach the next horizon. You know there are more valleys yet to be reach as well as more mountains.

But as a matter of faith and the flowers of trust that blossom when they come beyond the smiles they are the sweetest and most fragrant of all. Weary eyes often tell a tale that is lifeless in its value and joy. We all have weariness at times in our lives.

However, even in the midst of that weariness, there are times when the small flicker of knowing those times of beyond keep the smile still lingering in one’s essence. We can rejoice and see the hope beyond the emptiness.

No one can truly live another person’s life. Nor can we honestly expect to always feel what they feel in their misery or joy.

However we don’t have to ridicule it or treat it as unimportant. Traveling beyond the smile helps at times. It grants one a certain appreciation that all struggles are to the individual most stressful. And if that brews as compassion in some special way that can bring understanding.

It can also yield the capacity to share some insight to help the other person on their journey. And if it is done unto the glory of the Lord then that is the greatest beyond the smile there is.

REQUIEM

The grotesque, ebony
mind shadow ghouls,
which eat the night
and eve’s fated balm of peace
have taken
a sojourn
in somebody else’s
thought realm.
I have become
an elixir
of tear reclamation
as my soul
drifts
upon an emotional listless
tide.
For the moment merciful
storms rage
outside my visionary stain
with quieter tissues
my essence has reclaimed.

OVER THE MOUNTAIN

I remember once many years ago a lady telling me that I should plan out my future and have goals. She didn’t really give any details or suggestions about what kind of goals I should have, only that if you wanted something out of life you need a plan for how you could obtain it.

Missing from her formula was a simple aspect. Basically in my case the primary problem was a lack of confidence. It was impossible for me to conceive of anything I could actually achieve. That might seem rather absurd to some, but when one is in the depths of feelings of inferiority it is like a vacuum for the soul. You just rise above the ooze of pity to see yourself ever beyond any less than subservient level.

And life will often offer twists and turns that will at times contribute to keeping one in this vacuum. There are sadly far more critics in the world than those willing to give encouragement. It is like this infectious disease that becomes a cancer, which can utterly destroy one’s potential or ability to discover the reality of what one can truly become.

The one abiding fact to rise out of all those years for me is to understand that God is capable of helping us out of any hole no longer how deep. Still, at the same time, the deeper the hole the longer it may take to rise out of its darkness.

With each choice there are consequences. We do make choices for good and bad that affect our lives. But none of it will keep us from eventually becoming what is the Lord’s will in our lives.

However, the reality is, depending on that calling, God may or may not complete the process in this lifetime. We all love happy endings, they are often very inspirational just like success stories where one overcomes great adversity.

Those work and are wonderful. But that doesn’t have anything to do with the Lord’s will. We are not told that God will wipe away every tear in this life. We are not promised he will right every wrong and punish every injustice in this life.

They are promises he will keep in eternity. Until then we are in his hands, being guiding if we listen, able to find that mountain he wants to ascend. It might not even look like a mountain to others who don’t know or care about the valley where you were before God guided you out of it.

What is great is to finally be to the point of being able to look back and know that although others can’t appreciate your journey God does. It makes what lies beyond even more special and precious.

So if you have been in those valleys and nobody appreciates how far you have come, rejoice that the Lord will be there in due time at the eternal horizon to welcome us. Then we can celebrate the journey to come, perhaps we even more appreciation that those who never knew such valleys.

STOPS AND DETOURS

How many times in the course of week do we end up being stopped from completing a plan? And how many times do we find ourselves ending up having to go in a different direction than originally expected?

Some attempt to find purpose in everything. They view God as more like someone controlling the strings of life and making everyone and everything do as he desires.

I’m not sure if they truly appreciate the ramifications of such a view. It would me God is personally responsible for every thing that ever happens in life. And frankly I don’t think God would make us do some of the evil and stupid things we all end up doing in our lives.

We are creatures of free will. He doesn’t keep us from making wrong choices. We can seek him for wisdom, but at times I think he has reasons for letting us stumble and make mistakes. Mainly I see that as part of the learning process.

Are there reasons for us to suddenly find out that our plans were pointless and of no real value? And are there times when having to take a different path is part of God’s plan?

I feel the answer is yes. However, I also think that any attempt to build a theology around circumstance by always finding a spiritual meaning to them is bound to end with shortcomings.

The only reason to attempt such a process is in honesty for our benefit. God doesn’t need that type of wisdom.

So at times in order to find some balance or peace about some detour or stop sign encounter it is naturally that we end up in some way taking the path that explains it to our satisfaction. Who can say that such a process isn’t justified?

However I think such journeys are and should be viewed as beneficial to us and not ones that necessarily end with a revelation about God or our relationship with him. Therein lies the danger of such thoughts. We can translate them as universal truths even if they don’t truly qualify.

We can have moments of discovering that do actually bring some honest new truth into our thoughts. But normally I think such events are easy to appreciate because they will often be associated with an experience that is common to all.

But if it is an event that just happens to us or an experience that is intended as our school teacher, then saying that what happens to us will happen to all is an error. It is too bad that life can be easier, but complicating it with creating principles that really aren’t true won’t improve the situation. It is really all about learning as we are intended to know and giving God the mercy and compassion to do the same for others.

CHOSEN

Beyond the soul’s paralyzing haze
from the glare of ceremonial, traditional opiates
and the affectionate self-inflicting righteousness
that tingles the conscience
through licks
by deceiving, spiritually absent tongues,
a tabernacle of the chosen
forms an invisible empowering tent
of God’s most precious in-dwelling
baptism of assurance.
It brings the very gates of heaven
into one’s faith.
When we are quieted enough,
the Lord’s voice
speaks through a joy,
some inexplicable knowing
as our eternity
becomes a pulse of vision
more satisfying and rich
than any success.

PLAIN AND SIMPLE

I’m always guilty of complicating things. I can take something that isn’t hard to understand and keep thinking about it till I make it totally confusing. It is like with writing. I just have those times I express myself and end up going beyond what is needed, making it in rewrite way to wordy and boring at times.

I think to the scriptures and how our Lord often used parables to communicate some truth. They were stories that were easy to remember and not very complicated to understand. He kept it plain and simple because it is the way people often best can grasp the meaning of something.

I wish I could say I always succeeded in learning from that model, but I don’t. I know I’m not alone in that regard and I hardly take pride in that aspect of my writing. But along the way sometimes I actually do manage to hit a home run in saying something the right way and with the right type of expression.

Of course does that mean that one should never use bigger words in communicating? The truth is there are times when it is necessary. Maybe not as many as I would like, but there are times just the same.

The most important thing I feel in the spiritual realm is letting the Lord’s spirit inspire the message. It is easy to allow one’s own thoughts and style of expression intrude upon that purpose.

Even today after years of writing I have to confess I am always amazed when some posting I made gets a very positive response. I know what strikes at my heart and I also know what I enjoy reading and thinking about.

However I am a total failure are knowing what always appeals to others. The posting I do that I think will touch often don’t. Then the ones that I think probably missed the mark are the ones that somebody else will often react to in a positive way.

In that regard then what I do most is try to be faithful and continue to let the thoughts flow. I always rejoice when it ends up ministering in some way and people feel touched in the process.

The hardest part is setting aside one’s ego. To not forget the purpose is to serve God’s will not my own need to write.

Along the way God is merciful and there are moments when some gem of accomplishment that warms me will come my way. Not so much in terms of things such as fame or riches, but small steps of inner healing and contentment. Enough to inspire without leading one to a precipice of boasting and arrogance.

And that is enough at times. It is so comforting in the times when I have to go back and rewrite some spiritual thought at the Lord’s spirit’s prodding to make it plain and simple.

NEVER

There is an old saying about, “Never saying never.” I think it probably fits in the same category and “be careful what you wish for.”

They are both in a subtle way speaking of how life can be so unpredictable. Which is probably why we do enjoy when we can depend upon things staying the same if we enjoy their condition.

Life would certainly be easier if we knew what tomorrow would bring. Plenty of people try to figure ways to do exactly that. However, as far as I know we can definitely appreciate how no method exists to guarantee such possibilities.

For some people this instability of reality leads them to be totally consuming with the idea of control. Which is understandable if they always admitted to same, but most of the time they don’t.

Instead it creeps into their vocabulary with words of absolutism. Words such as never and always work their way into their conversation.

And however wonderful it might sound, I’ve seen the times when people who have made such vows as never have had to retreat from that position. Naturally they never admit when they go back on their word and do other than is what they promise. It is always some body else’s fault.

When anyone does this such is part of his or her nature. They may not even accept that it is a problem. But the one thing you can know for sure is that they will never accept they did anything wrong.

If the person who does this claims to be a Christian it often signals to me that their idea of trusting God is other than based upon any real biblical form of faith. One can hardly be obsessed with being in control and also claim to let God be in control. Yet they often think they are pillars of faith.

I’ve normally found the opposite to be true. They do believe in God, but they never actually trust him for anything in their lives. And the whole time they go to church and think they are the most faithful saints in the world.

It is a sad delusion. One without any basis in reality. Regrettably it is also a fact that will for such people never change.

I am grateful at times for the situations God has placed in my life that forced me to lean upon him for help rather than trust to my own strength. I wish I could say I do it all the time, but I don’t.

Still, when I do, I so often found out how much better he is at taking care of problems than me. I have no idea for those who never learn such lesson if they truly have any faith or not. I just know how by not learning this truth they have been deprived of the greater richness of seeing God work in their life in a truly special way.

RETREAT TO

Retreating sometimes carries with it the stigma of a lack of courage. It conveys the image and feeling of not standing up for yourself and giving in to others.

In this life there are always clashes of wills. How many are because they are justified by either party is hard to say, but we do face the fact that there are plenty of people for whom greed is considered a justified behavior.

In the scriptures Jesus spoken of such things as turning the other cheek and also if someone wanted your garment you should give them your cloak too. Yet, I don’t think anyone how has read the scriptures would ever claim our Lord lacked courage.

So what is the balance we are to strive for? Can we be spiritual and be both surrendering and a warrior? It can be a difficult process to fully appreciate, especially since there are places where Jesus spoke to his disciples about being of good “courage.”

What do me is the qualifier is a matter of each situation being unique and requiring a different response. Is that easy? Never. Is it one where we can divorce ourselves from our own evil and greedy desires? That too is doubtful from my view.

I do feel that above all honesty and truth should be premiums in our choices. There are many times they are for they go against our desires in a given situation.

Some would venture to apply a some universal application of response to all situations. But it always end up being colored by that person’s prejudice. And sadly you can if so desired pretty much defend any point of view with scripture if so desired.

What remains critical to me is that our choice be faithful to what God would desire in a given situation. Only there are plenty of times our humanness and flaws simply override what we should do.

That is the joy of grace. And it is the core message that so abounds in the scriptures. God can deal with our failings, but he does make us face them. Which can be the hardest journey for many to make.

It is the harmony of listening and the balance in knowing that helps to let us ask the tough questions. And even more it is the joy of retreating into the arms of our savior as our strength and source of boasting that truly helps us rise above the pettiness of our own need for lies.

If we can embrace the type of freedom he avails us when we seek him for the right reasons. When we journey by trust in something more than ourselves.

In the distance is the sparkling jewel of reason has it is illuminated by God’s righteousness and spirit. Seeing it as our only real place of retreat can be the one vision that can carry us through and beyond the shortcomings of our soul.

DEMISE

By folly or fate
the head chooses
and we are
succumb
to the madness
of where
life drifts.
Plans
are the relatives
for intentions.
But they are also like vines
having a season.
When winter
comes,
all the furrows of design
still end up dormant.
Upon them the tombstones of boasting
are used as title deeds
for preserving the boundaries
claimed as success.

GUSHERS

The fount of blessing has many hues and flavors. Only we sometimes can’t appreciate them for their true worth.

We gaze upon the flow of a moment with eyes defining what we see according to whatever standard is our frame of reference. And we react to the gusher of such events also according to our desires. Minds succumbed by a taste for what we decide best is the pulse of our own reality.

None of this of course has much to do with God’s streams of life that are intended to rush through our own reality. How often it is so easy to resist what is suppose to be the way our purpose should flow.

Part of the problem is that God can see the end from the beginning. He guides us towards eternity. And that means at times with our limited vision we only see this realm and can only appreciate what happens as it applies to now.

Perhaps for some this will only be a form of rambling. For many can see a gusher, but not everyone always dwells upon the origin.

Whether a trickle that comes into one’s life from some circumstance or a rushing current of opportunity, it is still by the hand of the Lord. It is sad how too often people seem to think they can dig their own well and presume if they find water it is merely from their own doing.

God grants the rain, he grants the oceans. Whatever access we have beyond need it his creation.

Still there are those that never learn the lesson as it applies. Like the people of Israel who were told to only gather enough manna for one day, except on the Sabbath, so too we at times ignore God’s plan for provision. It is to teach us to trust him. To not grant us great abundance according to our desires, but rather by his hand of providence.

Thus we are to see in the midst of our lean or fat the reality that God’s gusher it always there. It is not the consequence of how much drilling we do, but instead a flow that comes by his will.

And to that end, even in the desert of our need, God can create a gusher or he can teach us with a trickle. This isn’t a lesson that comes easy or without stress, but it is still the joyous miracle of God’s sovereignty that gushes into our life when we cling by sight through our soul and not our minds.

It is a moment of springs. Calm refreshed by the awesome reality that he truly is the water of life that will cleanse and sustain. Providing we never forget the rain does fall not by our worth. That is perhaps the best gusher of them all. And too often it is the one we are quickest to miss.

SIGHT

This is more than a process of seeing. For plenty of people can see light, but being able to recognize the true source can be difficult.

In this case I’m not speaking of light in the traditional sense. Rather I’m speaking of the type that illuminates the inner eyes of the soul. It is that vision reaching beyond the skies and sees the silhouettes of meaning that surround each thing one encounters in life. That means to be able to see what is the very pulse of soul filled essence, which is resident within the realm of our dimension.

This might all seem elemental to some and foolishness to others, but to see with this kind of sight is often to appear blind in certain ways. For you might reach deep beyond the known to the language and interpretation that some think they can keep hidden.

Sadly it is also the realm of the arrogance. Because a little flicker of insight can inspire an inferno of pride that you somehow are special in the scheme of things.

God can touch the repository in each of us with the kind of sight to see more than the traditional. It is not that kind of sight that makes us special. It is the sight itself that is truly special because it is God’s gift.

How easy it is to get lost and blind by the misunderstanding of this reality. A prophet may be a voice of the Lord, but it is still the Lord’s blessing that makes him a prophet.

That seems to get ignore and disregarded by those who claim to be seers in a psychic way. Whatever gift they have becomes a matter of bringing attention to them. They profit from the experience if they get enough attention, but most of the time it isn’t God who gets the credit for their blessing, if you consider it a blessing.

In my own life I have found times when God has graced me with some insight. But I have never forgotten he is the source.

When the throng of seekers of such light chase after the latest flash of revelation I’m not sure it always drives them closer to see God in the process. I rejoice that God in any way touches my life with some moment of service to him that I might share even a fraction of a flicker that I know he causes.

It is odd, but for me the simple joy of letting the light shine as intended is enough. I don’t require any attention or profit from the process.

That doesn’t make me special, just one of seer who isn’t blinded by his own ego. Perhaps if you become or are touch with some special gift of sight, you can stop in the awe of the experience and rejoice over the one who truly makes it shine.

Beyond the words is the gaze unto which we must all look. Seeing heaven in the ordinary things of life and His beauty in the eyes of those others see as less than stars.

WHISPERS

Burdening jubilees
drenching
my parched and dark soul.
A whispering lament
makes me feel
ever more old.
I am the sonnet
undressed,
naked eulogies
within
as a chorus of discontent.
One rainbow
searches the spirit’s catecombs
till I know
where pixies play
and the edifices
of want
have no cloud
to rain
with dreams fulfilled.

A PLACE TO FLY

Sometimes the wind is just right, the day lacking in as many demands or distraction and you just have that restless need to sail beyond the world. It is a time for wings, but since we aren’t angels, providing they really even have wings, the flying is something that has to take place in our minds.

Some might call it daydreaming, others a waste of time, but I think our minds drift to the points above the clouds and beyond the horizon out of a legitimate need. What I’m speaking of is for me a natural spiritual extension of one’s faith. I mean natural because I honestly see it as a bond to our heritage. This is my opinion of course.

For me, I see the forebears of all mankind in Adam and Eve as beings that knew at one time a perfect life. Debating the nature of that existence is futile or speculation, but from my point of view I feel in the garden they knew an existence far more complete and whole than we could ever know. If the biblical record is one we can read into to some simple degree and see the potential, then perhaps they lived without certain realities we knew every day.

I’m speaking of a life without pain, aging or any of the other ailments of life we are forced to deal with every day. And even though they fell from grace due to sin I think the memories of that glorified state would always remain. Now could anyone really go through such a change and not have moments of regret that such a past really haunting their thoughts? I think that would only be natural.

So what would be so incredible about the idea of that memory and all the impact that existence had on their being ending up in some way being filtered into our nature. I see that as a very natural and predictable process.

The result being that there are times of inexplicable yearning and need when that element in our essence, which we can’t really complete understand simply overwhelms us with urges. We daydream and imagine. To a degree of course, some of that is relevant to our imagination and the predictable desires of the flesh. Those are not what I’m speaking of.

I’m referring to the other areas when we find ourselves drawn to what might seem like abstract or frivolous types of fantasies. I simply suggest part of that comes from our soul’s connection to the first man and woman. And as a link to faith I think it is also an implant by God to help whisper to us with flashes of fancy how we are truly more than flesh and blood.

If channeled correctly, I see that as a process of communion in part with God’s spirit where we let his spirit grant us wings. It will give us a chance to fly to places where our soul truly is replenished with a little glimpse of heaven and a life uninhibited by the flaws of a sinful condition.

But not everyone is prepared or willing to go on such journeys. So they resist thinking it merely a child’s game. However, oh the joy one can see unfold when our eyes are willing to let God’s spirit take us to images from old.

EXCURSIONS BEYOND THE HORIZON

I’ve never been accused of being a devout optimist. I wish I could always be inclined towards seeing possibilities, but there have been just too many cases in my life when hope and trust ended up giving way to disaster.

But despite that problem, I often enjoy when God helps me see to the “ripples” of consequences yet to come. Those are the merciful times when he takes me on an excursion beyond the seen to what will be. I’m not claiming to be a prophet as such, merely that it is more like seeing a row of dominoes and knowing that if the first one falls then the rest would follow a natural reaction.

It is for me a time of blessing. For it is glimpse into understanding how the hand of God can touch in so many ways. That includes striking us when we deserve it in a way that truly affects some part of our life we thought was most secure.

So often we can read the scriptures and see parables about life and consequences and think we are somehow immune. We hear the story about not taking life for granting and think, I’ll always have tomorrow.

Quietly, presuming we are somehow not mortal after all, we make plans. And when they work out they only fuel on appetite for thinking we can control our future.

How said are those who deal with life as if it will last forever. Or who ignore the storms brewing on the horizon. Somewhere in between resides the deeper truth. It is the excursion beyond the horizon God will lead any willing to listen and follow.

It has taken me a long time to reach a point where I don’t obsessed about things that will never be. I try more and more to simply celebrate the precious gift of life that God grants us. However, that doesn’t mean I’m able to do it all the time, regardless of my desires.

Still, there is something truly freeing about asking the question occasionally, what if this really was my last day? Could I stand before the Lord in a heartbeat and feel able to thank him for taking me home?

That is a question only each person can ask for him or herself. And for some they will never ask it.

But whether we have tomorrow, yesterday is the legacy of what we choose. Perhaps in that we find an occasional give of peace that tells us how much we all truly need the blessing of grace.

I’m not sure we all remember it as often as we should. That can be a challenge. One that gets so easily lost while searching for answers. In the quiet we can celebrate the sound of our own heartbeat and know God hears every stroke, even the ones when they don’t think about him or eternity.

OBEDIENCE UNTO THE SHADOWS

Walking in the light isn’t always easy, but you can at least see where you are going. You might not be able to see beyond the horizon, but you can generally see in front of where you are walking.

Conversely, walking at night wouldn’t be so bad if you always could be sure what lie ahead. Even if traveling over familiar paths there is always that lingering uncertainty about what might be an obstacle you might encounter.

My reason for wandering the obvious is not to stay on some comfortable ground of thought. It is more a matter of seeing the potential metaphor within the steps. Merely that light or dark our heart must follow a certain flame.

The easy and spiritual textbook response would be to call it the flame of faith. But it is so much more than that. For in reality what flame burns in our heart is the one that truly warms the most.

It is amazing at times to think of how people sometime struggle with why it is so much easier to find obedience in certain situations than in others. And the odd thing is how in situations where you think it would be prevalent it isn’t always that obvious.

For example, in the work place where one is paid for your time it would be presume the reward of pay would inspire a certain level of obedience. Yet, I’ve seen the opposite as a supervisor so often where I work and in general.

Pay just by itself is not always the incentive one would hope. Any more than any other form of incentive that should apply logically always works.

Ultimately then I think our real response of obedience is not from the intangibles or the expected, but from something else. A mental canister where we keep our deepest desires. If we open it as we often do, then we feed the contents into our actions. And nothing reflect the nature of our desires more than how they get expressed as obedience in the times of shadows where nobody is watching.

I find it incredible at times when dealing with those that think God only sees in the light. They never actually state it that way, but their lips reflect the sentiment. It is reflected more than anything by the words that one says to declare what is the fruit of obedience.

What is sad is when people confuse obedience for conformity or something done for purely selfish motives. They love to put their obedience on display in the limelight, but it doesn’t necessarily shine into the shadows. God knows the difference and it is amazing how he can test our heart when we boast of obedience too much. When we fail the test we often find ourselves thinking up excuses to justify our real lack of obedience.

But it will be the times of our obedience that will be revealed in the light of heaven. Hopefully it will be unto a time of rejoice and not from shame.

TRANSCENDENCE

We know a charmed and harmonious, idyllic life
enriched with a nobler, caring brain
which has ceased to cause only grief and pain.

Thriving now in a realm we adore
means dwelling in a sky born megalopolis of magic and lore,
gloriously golden and shimmering,
ever drifting peacefully and loftily
above Mother Earth’s distant shore.

Deliverance prayed for during countless ages
arrived by a mercurial acumen in star carved pages
so incredibly potent and sagacious
when humanity greeted alien sages
who ended the plea from haggard and desperate faces.

But ghosts still haunt from the depths of ashen depravity
where history’s clash of wills
left graveyards as our testimony.

However, our thoughts are revived and transfixed
by the wonderment of sublime lucid gasps
having evolved through a fateful union
of our soul and their blessed enlightening masks.

In our healed, environment and skies
reality is breathlessly tranquil and void of sighs.
Living utterly refreshed in pristine clarity
while our hearts learn
each twinkling hymn of galactic jubilee.

The constellations are now our fingertips,
and other worlds are playgrounds.

Minds and essence are woven to a veil of cosmic delight
since becoming heirs to the universe’s purest light
inspiring our new transcendence in celestial sight.

RICHER STRIDES

I sit here this afternoon typing away at this posting and struggling with a recent downturn in my labors. Basically, I made a major blunder. Those are never joyful and I wish they never happen, but they do.

I could have opted to try and cover up my mistake. And I might have even succeeded. But from the moment I discovered my fiasco, the burden of choice resided on my shoulders.

So I opted to follow my conscience and admit my mistake. It was one that I would end up volunteering to pay to cover the damages, but for me the cost of not admitting it would have simply been too expensive.

I don’t think I’ll ever adjust to the idea of how many times people who claim to be Christians and very spiritual actually worship money. It isn’t that I consider myself more spiritual, I’m just aware of the times when the Lord truly challenges my heart in terms of whether I’m going to worship him or money. I like to hope I will always make the right choice.

One of the danger signals to me that a Christian has to be on guard against is the temptation to do things such as acts of charity for the purpose of impressing others. That negates the value in the Lord’s eyes.

This last year my wife and I have been engaged in a special project and it has brought us into a situation of dealing with this one person. I found it a mixed blessing to deal with this person. The individual genuinely clings to a self-image of being full of faith and being loving and caring.

That might be wonderful if it was true. However this is person, who despite being affluent, worries constantly about money.

It was to the point of being absurd when this individual made a major deal of boasting about all the good deeds that the person loved to claim to have done. It gave this person a great many chances to try and impress others with being so charitable.

However as time passed almost everything this person promised to do of a generous nature evaporated when there was a cost related. The individual loved the credit for appearing generous, just not the reality of when it carried a cost.

Sometime the walk of faith includes a stop in the place of sacrifice. Still, if one accepts that detour there are times the riches of self-discovery truly offset any cost to the pocketbook.

That isn’t something you can always expect everyone to accept. Some will always find a way to justify why they cling more to gold of this life than the real treasure of eternity. It is a choice we make even if we don’t admit to same.

PROSPEROUS PONDERINGS

I was at this bible study the other night and we were discussing the issue of prosperity. Only we didn’t call it that. It was more of a gripe session about why we couldn’t as parents get our kids to do more than barely function since we all had kids that we just struggle to get by.

I was myself in a less of a position to be a father in that regard since in this group I’m the least in terms of prosperity. So my options in terms of lending a hand to my son is definitely less than those of the others.

Still as I observed, having more options didn’t translate into either them actually changing the lives of their kids. The ones they had that were treading water at best and just getting by. I could sense the frustrations that often stabbed at them over feeling utterly impotent in terms of being able to effect the situation in a positive way.

It was funny in a way I suppose, but the reality is that I have noticed how often God speaks and deals with one person without it necessarily being a blessing that touches their child. I can think of any true and loving parent who doesn’t want better for their kids. I’ve know way too many who acted otherwise and even some who went to church, but despite the sickness that represents, I think the loving parent really wants their child to do well.

None of that means the child will actually succeed. Nor does it guarantee they will come to the faith or follow God in any way. When one looks at the scriptures there are far too many incidents of children who didn’t follow God who had some parent that was called by the Lord to some special purpose.

When it comes to the issue of prosperity on all the different levels that prevail the question I think that is tough to ask is whether we are really willing to accept when God’s answer is no? By that I mean to accept when perhaps our child’s path is going to be one totally different from our own.

It is so easy in life for purely selfish reasons to want one’s child to embrace one’s values and then be able to be a proud parent who can feel so happy that their child is prosperous. Yet do we have the faith and obedience to always accept when that means they have to be different from us? I do wonder at times.

In my life, I know I have been someone totally different from my parents. And it always caused friction because they couldn’t accept who I was. However, God granted me a peace to see that following him as my Heavenly Father was more important.

It hasn’t meant I’ve gotten rich in terms of my bank account. It does mean I have know the wealth of contentment that only comes from being yourself.

For me that is being rich in a special way. And my biggest prayer is that I afford my own son the same freedom to know the wealth God truly intends for his life too.

PORTALS

We,
the seers of haloed illumination
hold the keys
to the portals of profound.
But
possessing
such a key
doesn’t always
mean
one is free to enter
that rich
and fertile revealing ground.
For to be a guardian
or sentinel
unto a world lost
within the thinking
of sensory enslaved minds
is to stand watch
while others mock
instead of hug.

DO THIS IN REMEMBRANCE

This is most familiar in Christian thought with the communion. And for the most part I think many believers have been faithful in celebrating the communion as the Lord wished us to do.

But in the process of celebration some times one has to ask do we always engage our spirit and heart when committing our acts to a given ritual. It is so easy to get caught up in the doing without letting the reality sink deep into our thoughts. That is only human nature.

And I think God understands that. I also believe it grieves him when we insult his reality by going through the motions and thinking he doesn’t know the difference. Which is why for myself I came to the hurdle of facing reality that if my essence wasn’t really committed to something it was absurd to think it made any real difference, especially in terms of eternity.

At the very core then of spirituality for me is the heart. Our real desires. The more we face the demons of our flesh, the more we acknowledge them and surrender them to the Lord, the more we are likely to have real truth in our relationship with him.

I think of the many times I used to go through the motions of going to church and have my mind elsewhere. How many times I kidded myself that it was a good thing.

I’m not saying that one should abandon doing things such as going to church. I’m just saying that it is more important to listen to God’s spirit than be seen by men.

And when we do that. We can really begin to know the joy of spiritual intimacy as God intended. We don’t have to be held hostage to spiritual blackmail by tyrannical and abusive shepherds with private agendas and looking for slaves.

Then we shall know the freedom that Jesus spoke of how the truth shall set your free. It is a much quoted and often abused saying that is frequently used as a general comment without its spiritual meaning.

The qualifier to it was that you had to abide in Jesus. And one can’t truly abide in Christ by worrying about what others think. That is merely social slavery hidden in the shadow of some church’s cross.

Do this in remembrance is not simply a saying. It was intended to be so much more. Remembrance is the life blood where faith truly flows. It is the fire of genuineness where we find the balance from honesty that lets us stand truly before Lord in the nakedness of our desires and not feel a need to dress them with a lot of delusions.

Along the way we find in reality that life itself is the Lord’s tabernacle. He opens the doors to his presence in so many places outside the church to reveal himself to us. That is a blessing that only comes when remembrance is surrender to the Lord and not opinions of others.

IMAGINE

I always enjoy imagining life being different than it really is. To be able to play that old game of “what if.”

Some people don’t enjoy that option. They feel that kind of exercise leads to regret. Perhaps they are right.

Why do I feel inclined to play that game? Because as I reflect with the help of God’s spirit I like to thing it gives me a chance to see how my life might have been different if I listened to him more often. It might seem futile to some, but it is inspiring to me.

That is Mmainly because in the reflecting I apply it to the now. And when life becomes to burden with a sense of emptiness, it gives me a sense of joy to think the future could be a time for improvement and change.

Does that mean it will happen? No. Still there are times it does and that is a chance to rejoice.

I’ve seen so many who reach some zenith in their lives and slowly begin to vegetate. They somewhere decided to stop chasing their dreams, they stop literally hoping. Instead they slowly die in their soul as the scriptures declare when it says, “without a vision, the people perish.”

I’m not suggesting that dreaming is better than facing reality. What I am saying is that without some point to trust God, if one is a follower of Christ the very passion for life can ebb if not die completely.

A person can live for years in such a condition, but it doesn’t mean they will be content in the least. And so often I’ve seen that vacant, desperate look in their eyes. The one that is where they are restraining their real feelings like trying to keep from admitting to some deep abiding pain.

Some prevail in that kind of denial for a very long time. It is sad because they never let God fill that void. There is no expectancy of tomorrow ever improving. It is to me a form of suicide for the soul that one allows to simply wither rather than breathe.

Another aspect of this resides in the fact that through such efforts one also discovers that God will at times open the doorways to visions of one’s eternal destiny. We can see the spiritual forecast of out we will dwell in a greater essence when in the presence of the Lord.

That can carry one through the valleys and give warmth when surrounded only by a sense of cold where others lack that experiencing. For many often do not avail themselves of that type of blessing. It is one that we must reach for in faith and the devil will surely do what he can to keep us thinking it is a silly pursuit. If we listen with our heart and not our mind we will know the truth. May we all find the means to savor that joy and discover it on journeys where others fail to travel.

POINTS WITHOUT OPTION

Why did this happen? I’m sure most of us have asked that question at some time in our life. And if one is a Christian it can be even harder to come to terms with when we assume God should be watching over our every step. Even though I believe that is true, I also understand he doesn’t spare us from making mistakes or even sinning. It might be great if he did, but it doesn’t happen that way.

Some people emphasize the important of knowing the Lord’s will before making any choices. In the scriptures they used different methods to determine the Lord’s will when it wasn’t clear. One reference speaks of “casting lots.” It amounted to a means of chance with an effort like rolling the dice and the answer was interpreted from the results.

This wasn’t as dramatic as having an angel bring you the Lord’s message, but in the absence of a clear understanding most of us will find our own means of seeking God’s will. It doesn’t mean it is always correct, just that we got an answer.

In my life so often the Lord’s will has been evident in a giving situation because there ends up being only one credible option. I wish I could say that translates into me always being at peace with that choice. Sometimes I have no clue at the time why a given choice is my only option, but I try to accept it on faith.

Reaching a given point of life and only having a single path to follow may not always be as joyful as we would like. For sometimes the only option is not the one our heart desires.

So we may choose to rationalize our reasons for refusing to accept a given option. It doesn’t mean we can escape the consequences, merely that we can resist if we so desire.

There are some that claim to be so spiritual that they feel they have some kind of direct hot line to God. I do believe God does speak to us in many ways, but I also respect the fact that we can be wrong.

That is the hard part for some. Pride doesn’t allow them to be honest that they were wrong in understanding the Lord’s will. They reach some point in their life and the option apparent is not the one they want so they just shrug their shoulders and turn a different direction.

There are many elements to the life of faith. To truly be spiritual means understanding and accepting that to have a relationship with the Lord is something that requires it be in the spirit and truth.

It is the truth part that causes the most stumbling as far as I’m concern. God never expects us to be perfect. He does force us to the point of choosing fantasy or honesty. Being able to accept the simple reality that no matter how intimacy of understanding or relationship with the Lord, we will be wrong at times. That is the joy of grace. Hopefully we accept it instead of clinging to our pride.

AT PLAY

I race through
the openings
those little portals
and archways
of lugubrious pandering secrets
hoping
to find the lost treasure
left on
my youth’s
doorstep of fancy.
Tomorrow
offers only
disdain
for the winged
escapades
surging
within the coffers
where I miserly
keep
all my broken tears.

NOT THIS WAY

I was at a bible study session the other night and because most of our group weren’t able to make it we turned it into a time of intimate sharing. Each of us there had little in common beyond our faith. Our lives were totally different with the exception that we were all fathers.

We share the grief of parenting when your best efforts fail. Those are the heavy stains up one’s conscience that left you feeling frustrated that no matter how hard you try you just can’t help your child rise above their failures.

It is one thing to have a relationship with your child where you can’t help them that much and when you have the resource to really make a difference. Yet, it doesn’t seem to make one feel better if in the end your help never change the child’s situation or inspires he or she to be more self-reliant.

There solution after years of struggle was to take the sink or swim philosophy. I understood for two people who had invested so often in their children’s lives and seen it fail to truly help how they have evolved to such a point of thought.

I find myself in a very awkward situation myself. For as a child I knew only abuse and criticism. My parents could have done more, but refused too. And the one thing I understood is when you are in a pit of self-pity and poor self-esteem, you can’t always find the strength to rise out of that situation. Sometimes you need a hug or two more than help.

Some people are able to fight against such issues. They can endure terrible environments in their childhoods and manage to rise above them. But not everyone is the same.

So I struggle myself in my limited capacity in terms of resources to try and do what will help. I do wish better for my offspring than I suffered. Still, I also understand how I can’t live my child’s life. He has the right to make his own choices whether I see good in them or not.

One generalization that came out of that reflection was that God uses crisis in some situations to teach those who are able to trust him more. I think this idea does have merit to some degree. But like so many such opinions it doesn’t work in every situation.

We all, regardless of whether we are among the redeemed or not still are granted free will. That includes the regrettable right to be wrong.

And that freedom is wrapped in a mantle of our own thoughts and weakness. Thus we are all different and will make different choices that seem right in our eyes, even if they appear dumb to somebody else.

Does God use a given crisis to teach? Sometimes. Others, I think he simply grants us the right to follow a path because he knows that unless we follow that path we will never accept where it leads regardless of it leads somewhere good or bad.

VOWS

This can be wonderful feeling when you make this kind of promise. And you can even feel so wonderful that you can end up going out and boasting to the world about you faith and commitment.

Then comes the day when you actually face the uncomfortable issue of reality. That is when there occurs a RISK. Suddenly when there is a price to pay things may not seem quite as thrilling at otherwise. You find yourself in the corridor of possible danger. And that is when you have to face the truth of choice.

The longer one endures in one’s faith the more reality is a memory we don’t forget. We become more cautious about such things at making vows because there is a risk to such vow.

Plus there is another danger too. You can incur the risk of judgment from the Lord if you make a vow and in the beginning do it just to impress without actually trying to keep it.

Such a situation can be seen in the scriptures with the New Testament account in the book of Acts of Ananias and Sapphira. There was an incident mentioned where some of the members sold property and gave the money to the church, which was under such terrible persecution and difficulty.

It was a voluntary act and nobody was required to do it, but this couple decided to participate. So they sold this property and gave the money to the church. Only they held back some of it without mentioning it to the disciples.

God revealed their deception to the Apostles through the power of his holy spirit and the costs to the couple for lying was that they died. They did get punished for not giving the entire amount, but for lying because their motives were basically greedy in nature.

The message I think we have to learn from all of this is to be honest in our commitments. God doesn’t expect with a vow for us to do the impossible, but he does expect us to be faithful to what we say. It is an extension of our faith.

Today it is easy in so many ways to not be honest and worry about one’s commitments. We can rationalize such behavior because no one is watching. But we forget that God has warned of how he views a false witness with such terrible hate and judgment.

Unfortunately some people can’t resist the need to gleam some attention for themselves even if that attention is based on deception. We may even succeed in doing so in this life without consequences.

However, eternity does await and with the Lord he has all eternity to be sure we are either punished or rewarded for such choices. I pray we seek with an open heart the path, which God sees as pleasing.

BARTERING

My soul
has many voices and sounds
all of which
both shout and whisper
echoing demands for attention.
I pretend
that I control them,
but my memory
scrapbook
has too many photos
from when I fell
while trying
to grow wings.
The stars
in their muted luminescent majesty
all too often
impale my eyes and essence
with sparkling mocking reminders
about my diminutive size and worth
among the cosmos dimensions.

DISTILLED HAPPINESS

I remember being in this church, well a lot of them I guess, where happiness was spoken of through a face that hardly looked happy. It might be my imagination, but I always assumed if you were really happy your face might actually smile. I suppose it is silly of me to presume such a concept.

Yes, I’m being a tad silly I imagine. But I have never quite figured out how pretending in terms of spiritual matters is a good thing. Can we really kid ourselves into thinking God believes the lies we tell ourselves? Apparently some people think so.

What constitutes happiness depends upon the person. For we don’t all like the same things. So is there any reason to presume that in terms of matters of the heart or soul we should be expected to derive the same happiness from the same choices?

It seems that the prevailing point of view in some houses of worship is that would be the case. The often offer up a homogenized worship that everyone is suppose to enjoy equally. There is a focus on conformity and never individual union of soul to God’s spirit.

It is true that it would be difficult without creating chaos to not have some order and unity. But why does it apply that singing only certain songs or doing only certain rituals is going to light my fire of spiritual passion?

And if for some reason I don’t find a given style of worship helpful then I have to move on to another house of worship. With some this becomes more a matter of entertainment rather than being lead by God.

Does any of that truly bring one closer to the Lord? I wonder at times. And in my case I have to confess that because I do have such “different” sense of happiness because of my bent writer’s mind the usual seldom appeals.

While I don’t make it a rule, I do have to admit that for me once I stopped listening to people and started listening to God’s spirit I found a new zenith in worship experience. It had nothing to do with being seen by others. It didn’t give me anything of which to boast or impress.

However, what it did do was give me a warmth from a deeper sense of joy in terms of my soul than I had know when worrying about the social climate of worship and fellowship. That was worth so much more in terms of peace than I thought was possible.

Today I celebrate God’s reality and my joy of salvation in the ways the Lord leads. It would never get a nod of approval I’m sure from some circles of religious thought.

Yet, I honestly don’t care at times. I’m just happy to find the place that works for me. And to know a happiness that isn’t distilled through the boring rules and traditions that expect you to conform to somebody else’s idea of happiness.

SWIRLS TO CELEBRATE

There is the joy that comes from life, from achievement and satisfaction for any number of activities one does. Conversely, sadness can also come into the soul from similar experiences.

All of this for me is a matter of the heart. It doesn’t survive beyond death and generally is transitory in terms or one’s emotions. Memories will of course always linger, both good and bad. Those that are from the scars of grief or other emotional pain just never completely heal at times.

Yet, despite the fleeting nature of life and how often we accept this reality, we still so often get consumed with such pursuits. Perhaps it is escapism from life’s pain or a way to avoid some truth about ourselves that is painful, but admittedly it sure can become addictive to chase rainbows. Those are the illusions and fantasies we allow to consume out thinking and dominate our motivations.

There is a joy that never truly evaporates. It may not keep us on the mountain top, but it will go beyond this life and into eternity. Passion is the fuel so often of our deepest desires. Touching that most intense part of our insides is a sensation that will never leave one’s thinking if it is genuine.

Despite the debate some might advance of the reality of the soul’s existence what I have experience tells me that nothing swirls as a enduring form of pure celebration that what comes from the Lord. It is a gift, it is a blessing and most of all it can give a flame to one’s life that has gone cold from disappointment or sorrow or simple emptiness.

And the truly great joy to me comes from knowing that above all this swirl of the most profound form of joy will survive to eternity. It is the bond, the greater repository of God’s touch upon our life that only grows in intensity once we are in eternity. We shall remember and rejoice. We shall praise with a new spirit and awareness and know a bless greater than we could ever imagine.

But until then, God’s spirit touches the call in his own special way. It is a unique form of divine fingerprint. It is one that can block out focus on this life, even if it isn’t for the rest of this existence.

Some never find this swirl of celebration. They get lost in the maze of rituals and traditions. They have faith, but their journey gets bogged down in a muck of thinking too much about this life and not eternity.

Let the wind of God’s spirit help us rise unto the breeze of a more eternal enduring form of inner celebration. May it bless and grant us more than the type of abundance of mammon upon which to diet.

Lord, grant us the heart to listen with our soul. Grant us the willingness to surrender on your terms and accept the mercy you blessed us with when we truly open our lives to your light.

THE WONDER OF IT ALL

It has been said that a life unexamined is not worth living. I’m paraphrasing, but I think the concept it that there is benefit and balanced gain to reflecting upon our past. I didn’t say dwelling upon it was a solution, only that reflecting for the sake of understanding has value.

I feel reflection involves various levels of understanding. There is the practical level where we spend some much of our time. And there is the mental level that allows our mind to take journeys into the deeper meaning of truths.

Beyond the realm of our senses lie the countless layers of spirituality. In that domain, what is dark isn’t always bad and what is light isn’t always good. Although we gaze with sincerity into that territory beyond the flesh it doesn’t mean we will always have perfect vision.

What complicates it from my point of view is that the spiritual realm is so often subject to our own choice of interpretation. We see what we want to see, excusing our prejudices as insight even if they aren’t.

Perhaps the gasp of amazement when we do see those bridges of interpretation during some link of enlightenment is at times overwhelming. They may be stun our spirit from the reality that we in faith knew was true, but if our senses confirms it the impact can be incredibly impacting own our essence.

How sad it is to never be able to look beyond the now. We can’t all be prophets who have visions of the future, but that doesn’t mean we are able to appreciate what stirs on our own level of understanding as only God’s spirit can inspire.

In the dialogue of seeking and petition where prayer is our language it is so easy for it to become rehearsed. It can lose the identity of our consciousness without the depth of heart to truly say what resides in our soul.

We are warned against making that kind repetitive and meaningless types of prayers. Always, it is suppose to be an investment of ourselves that shows respect to the Lord of his sovereignty over our lives.

In our stumbling and wanderings God knows our weaknesses and strengths. Some override that reality by relying mainly on their own strength.

They miss out so often on the wonder of it all as a spiritual panorama only God can create. It truly leaves one in awe of his grace and the chance to rejoice.

But it requires more than the capacity to speak. It requires the ability to listen, truly listened when God’s spirit touches while we are in the midst of praying. It also means being willing to see when he seeks to open our eyes to so spiritual reality that dwells in the midst of our regular lives, but often goes unnoticed.