TIRED

The older I get the more I appreciate that aging doesn’t improve you energy. Not that when I was younger I was that full of vigor. I was a couch potato most of my life so I was hardly ever in shape to feel the illusion of being almost immortal as a youth.

Oddly now that I’m in my fifties my daily routine is actually far more demanding than it was even five years ago. I find it amazing how I get through some days, but I do attribute that to the Lord more than my doing.

I guess if there is one thing that truly is fascinating to me at this age is how often I find myself the victim of extremes. We all have good days and bad days. That’s normal. But I don’t think my “bad” days in terms of energy were quite as bad before I got involved with my regime of exercise.

So I find times at this point when I’m literally so exhausted from my routine that on my day set aside for resting, it is all I can do to stay awake. Let me tell you I truly do look forward to my Tuesdays for that time of recouping. Working full time on the weekends, it is I suppose my equivalent of a weekend.

Although I am not a “Sabbath” keeper in that regard, I do appreciate the need for at least one day of rest. I believe Jesus is the Lord of the Sabbath and for me as a Christian I feel New Testament Sabbath keeping means to put one’s faith in Christ. So I never make it a legalistic issue.

What is difficult for me is that I get into a schedule on a regular basis that involves work, exercise and of course writing. It has become ingrained in my nature to keep up a certain pace related to those things as I feel the Lord leads.

The problem is that my emotions at times get in the way of my physical needs. By that that I mean, my spirit thinks I must do certain things at certain times. God, however, in his wisdom sometimes puts the brakes on my plans for the sake of making sure I do take things to the extreme I would otherwise.

There are times when he really has to almost hit me on the head to get my attention. And being tired I’ve come to understand is part of that message.

I do praise him for making sure when I feel totally listless and tired that his spirit taps me on the shoulder and reminds me that this is for my own good. So I learn to stop, rest and rejoice for the lesson.

We can’t always stay in touch with what is in our own best interests. And there are times regardless of how spiritual we think we are that pride gets in the way of our doing what is God’s will in our lives.

I feel grateful that God is so merciful and longsuffering with our stubbornness and selfishness. It givs me hope for what remains to come tomorrow.