AFTER

Does sundown ever come to the light of one’s memories? Can we truly surrender the furnace of our negative passions to a cooling moment of forgiveness and calm when it no longer raises our blood pressure and mars our feelings about life?

I think it is a fair question. To me there is nothing more difficult than achieving forgiveness and the cessation of hate over some injustice.

I was in a bible study where one of our members was talking about how the only means of achieving such peace was to turn that problem over to the Lord. And I agree that I know I personally don’t have the strength to rid my life of such feelings by my own strength.

The question is does such a solution work as a cure for all such feelings? On one hand of course there is the issue of honestly being willing to turn the problem over to the Lord. We know that if we cling for whatever reason in our hearts to some problem or desire the Lord will definitely not answer that prayer. But if in our hearts we genuinely desire to surrender it to the Lord does it mean it will cease?

I think the honest answer is that sometimes the answer is yes and others no. I am reminded of how the Apostle Paul had sought the Lord three times to deliver him from what he called a thorn in the flesh and admitted God didn’t choose to grant his wish.

Why does God in some situations deliver a person and in others not? That is a question that we will probably never know till we our in the presence of our Lord.

I do believe that there are things, which he allows to continue to test our souls for the sake or our faith. And because we are all different what will test our faith also differs.

Beyond such an understanding I feel the rest must be left in the Lord’s hands. I don’t think it works to apply some formulaic solution to the problem that somehow takes away any respect for God’s sovereignty.

Of mysteries in life there are many. Of answers not enough at times. We wander the endless path between light to light, some getting detoured into a darkness that they think is light.

It is in the “after” of a crisis or circumstance that we truly have the most chance to discover within ourselves the doors of our being through which we don’t always pass. Sometimes there are keys provided by god not for the purpose of escape, but understanding.

Regardless of whether we obtain the rescue we crave we do know that in Christ we will find far more peace that groping for answers by the light of our own strength. With such peace and understanding comes the opportunity to endure. Sometimes the after can be a blessing when others think it is curse.