DEVOTION WITHOUT DREAMS

Can devotion truly flame without any passion to fuel it's energy? I've seen the times when faith becomes a habit. One goes and performs and form of worship, but it is just going through the motions. There is no fire in the eyes and the smile worn is just a mask. Often it isn't even convincing.

In the scriptures we are caution against things like saying prayers that are repetitive, but not really said with any emotion or desire. It becomes a chore without substance and like too many aspect to one's relationship with the Lord, if it lacks any true intimacy it simply doesn't truly bring honor to God.

It is so easy to fall into the snare of ritual without intent. To go to church on Sunday because you feel you have to, but the whole time one's heart and soul are elsewhere, dreaming of something fun you would really rather be doing.

Do we really think that God doesn't know our heart in that regard? That somehow the Lord will say unto us in due season, "Well done good and faithful servant," if all we did was out of habit and not genuine love or faith?

It is an honest question to ask, but not necessarily one that people will really ask. I'm not suggestion that there is no merit to going to church, but I am saying that being human all of us can have valleys of boredom, which we must travail. Pretending otherwise won't change our reason or feelings.

But how many people are truly so secure in their faith that they would be comfortable following God's leading if it didn't include spending every Sunday at church? And then what also happens is when the heart grows weary enough, we enter into the barter system.

That is where we sit down and rationalized some excuse to stop going to church. Then later as the time passes and we discover lightning will not strike us dead for our absence, the excuses come so much easier.

Why is simple. It is because deep down we really had avoided the obvious need for a change of routine. We suppressed it a false sense of devotion. And when exhausted enough we surrender to that need, finding reason to justify our sense of guilt.

However, none of that in any way truly makes a difference in terms of our faith. Oh plenty of preachers will make it a sermonized whip to beat you into submission. They wouldn't have to do that if honesty were the message more than legalism.

Some can rejoice at listening to the Lord. They will be filled with his dream. On some occasions it means being in church. On others not. However, when the spirit truly has a vision from the Lord, the whole earth is his tabernacle and not just a place with walls. Rejoice if you have discovered that gift. For it is a blessing seldom taught from any pulpit.

TAIL SPINS

I don't think there is a more depressing feeling than having to face when we lose a sense of self-control. It is one thing to never have control in the first place. That is a whole different spectrum of emotions.

But if you assume you have control over some part of you life and it suddenly goes away you can really struggle with trying to come to grips with its reality. We can manufacturer all kinds of excuses other than face the truth.

Why? I see it as an element of pride. I think we all love the illusion of having power in our lives, even if it really is only an illusion.

So self-control becomes one of those "badges" of prove to our real worth. At least in our thinking.

However to me, with the Lord, I don't see it as the major issue. If self-control were the issue, then legalism would be the path of salvation instead of faith.

Oh the other hand, God knows us way too well. He understands our weaknesses and the fact of how often we just can't accept the truth of our shortcomings for a variety of reasons, which is why he accords us grace.

So in becomes such a silly game in so many ways. We find that arena we can control in our life and then elevate to being the one thing God loves most in a believer. It is all absurd, but we that never keeps us from doing it anyway.

I'm grateful that despite such insanity God still manages to love us. No matter how many times in our life some tail spin occurs in an area we thought we had control, he still cares about us.

Our inability to cope with the truth of some weakness that leads to a sin is not God's fault. And it is amazing how he grants us grace even when we do fail to accept a sin for what it is.

It is always such a blessing when one is able to finally see God's light in all the darkness of our carnality and failings. To suddenly wake up and say "hey wait a minute, I don't need to lie about this!" It is such a freeing experience.

At the same time there is the need for compassion. To let those who are in a tailspin cope with it their way. It means hearing lies way too often. One doesn't have to agree, but rejoice that God's love covers a multitude of areas of human behavior.

Taking our savior's hand for forgiveness is one thing. But letting go of the baubles of pride we think we somehow need for our own worth is totally different. I pray we all find that path the leads to knowing grace fits a lot of situations we sometimes think our what we must control.

TESTS

Elixir in the heart
burning, burning
a ruination
unto the king
anointed by caucus
scepter a dialogue of dreams.

Tomorrow
thoughts dance
upon a grill of expectancy.

We are utterances
collected by a wind
gathering in skies
where only a mind
can fly.

Drip
upon request
using
excuses
invented by sweat
for a mask.

SORROW'S SONG

The violins of heartstrings so rich in tones of sobs play their melody upon the battlefield of life's many wrongs. How often it is a song heard by only a single pair of ears. Because we are often so busy listening to our own voice to notice the notes that are a stereo of lament.

Compassion is a choice in life. One I think God desires from us. But it's meaning gets so muddle in the fog of tradition and self-preservation. We are dressed for a party of show, where no were truly to go. A dream in the mirror who can't truly hear, what screams so loudly in a distant wounded voice.

We battle the urges of pride. Scarred, alone, defiant of reason. In love with the scale of our own opinion, but asleep the conscious of need at times.

The spirit has its own hearing. One that God awakens in victory of faith. Perhaps a single hand is enough to make a perfect caring sound. Oh maybe it is just a call we accept because the heart can't become deaf enough to heaven's whispers.

Passed the chaste walkway of restraint where crowns are made from our illusions, there is another path. One where the Lord helps us to know the harmony of sorrow to suffering. To know the times when the two must be entwined.

Among the ruins of our dusted plots, we hear the crumbling of self edifices. We know the decay and stubble of houses built in vain.

Why is the question hiding in the shadows. It haunts and stalks with a guilt vengeance if we but notice its presence.

Will we grow the wings to help lift another from the depths of sorrows song? Or will it wait till we do must sing its tune?

Laughter is better from the victory over wrong than rejoice from me first goals. Only who can share the joy of redemption laced with knowing how many others still await a dawn to their own misery? It is to see in the light of true provision when we are truly blessed. To be humbled by the special gift of grace and not arrogant from the presumption of reward.

Then we can walk and know sorrow's song whether played in our heart or another's. It is a quite rambling of reflection hopefully bringing a thought to help us better appreciate the music.

Some will always find it a beautiful refrain played in the consuming mystery of our affliction. Others will simply hurry away, deaf of soul and mind. Their hearts beat with a pulse of worse attendance. For they know not how sorrow's song truly is heard by the Lord. Will we find the joy of listening when others ignore the notes? Only each life can tell that tale.

DESTITUTE SMILES

A smile from sadness is most evident in the eyes. It is one of those "I'm fine" expressions that really isn't true in terms of being fine. I know I've managed them from time to time.

What inspires us to such a need to look happy when we aren't is hard to say, but it seems to be the choice at times. In part I suppose because we like to look as if we in control of our emotions. That is how some describe or define maturity.

But is it honesty, with oneself or others? I do wonder at times. And is being unhappy a state of being that is somehow the result of lacking faith. Some have argued that point, but I'm not convinced it is the truth.

I think I was drawn to this reflection in part because of the illusion of happiness that I see to often. I think happiness is something most of us desire, but it is difficult to always fine.

It does fascinate me at times to go to places like amusement parks or malls and see the number of people wearing destitute smiles. Again you see the weariness in the eyes that betrays the truth they are trying to hide.

And there are times when for example that the words being said also contradict the illusion of happiness. If every word of the mouth is a complaint it is hard to see the person as full of joy.

On a spiritual level, I'm not sure that happiness and contentment are synonymous, nor were they intended to be. I do find it interesting in terms of living that the Apostle Paul would speak of learning to be content. He didn't make the same comment about being happy.

Which to me translates into the simple fact that contentment from my point of view deals with the issue of feeling a sense of fulfillment in life. Like when we do a task that when we are done we have the simple satisfaction of accomplishment. It doesn't mean we always enjoyed the chore, but we do derive the sense of achievement.

For the person of faith then, our soul is that mix of faith and quest. Obedience is the cadence by which we march. I think that when we are trusting the Lord he does grant us the sense of feeling content in the situation far more often that the feeling of happiness.

The difference is in part for me what happens because we have felt our essence utilized when we are obedience. Our talents and abilities are exercise and that brings the rush of awareness within of feeling we are good at something. Happiness on the other hand is so attached to a variety of elements in one's nature. It is more like a wind that can change at any moment. We can feel happy one second and then some distraction can totally ruin that feeling the next. The only good joy comes from knowing in the presence of the Lord we shall know the pure marriage of contentment with happiness without any distraction of this life.

THE LONG CREEK

Anticipation can be a wonderful thing when it ends with a fulfillment. What is straining is when that expectancy of reaching some stream of blessing merely brings you to a dry creek bed. And you keep trusting and hoping, continuing to stroll towards the place you think will be a promise, but it just never seems to reach any point of refreshing.

Doubts parch the soul and naturally there is every reason to feel frustrated. Then when you do finally reach the water, you are so exhausted you wonder if it really was worth the journey.

The Christian life is not one of clarity constantly. We may walk in the light, but that doesn't mean there are never any shadows.

However, the one reality is that each trip up one of those creeks is different from the last. It might be in only some small way, but it will have a different face to some degree.

Still, we travel as our heart leads. It might seem like a foolish journey to some. What a pity when it includes those who claim to be Christians, but they've never actually ventured up any creek bed themselves.

Sadly, it is possible to go through the motions, learn all the talk and yet, never truly be brought to the kind of testing that only is experienced in the creek beds. It is the trip within that leads beyond our eyes. A pilgrimage of discovery that we can't make by any road trip.

The good news is that such journeys are not the result of mistakes necessarily, but of God's leading. And in times perhaps we even learn when the reality is that God never intended us to reach the water of some creek or ordeal till we truly learned he is the source of the creek.

So we take the steps as commanded and directed. It might not be as appealing as some would desire. Nor will it necessarily bring us to the place we want or expect.

It all is more a day that turns into a week of understanding if we keep our eyes focused o what we earnestly are willing to let God show us from the experience. And should it end up even taking a life time, can we ask ourselves to see in the long creek bed more than a place of waiting?

Each person can only answer that question for his or herself. It truly is a long creek stroll of blessing when we discover along the way more than the need for waiting. And regardless of where the creek takes us, it we wait upon the Lord he will grant us the knowledge we need to see into that creek bed the message intended for us.

Should the destination not be the one we anticipated that is the time we can stop and look deeply into that mirror of pure retrospection and seek to appreciation was our expectations one inspired by the lord? Sometimes that answer is the best blessing one could have.

IDLE

Clap
with wayward hands
listening to a cloud
as if the eyelid tales
truly
could be a cornerstone
for life’s edifices.
I am a rumbling
bliss
trapped
between romancing
penguin urgencies
and baking figments
to sell
at a bake sale
where values
are a dessert
adding weight
into one’s
soul.

ANOTHER VIGILANCE

I wish I could reach a point where I never had to learn the same lessons more than once. But on too many occasions I find that the Lord will put me through a similar experience and often to my annoyance I discover I never really learned from the first encounter since I end up making the same mistake.

That is perhaps one of the major risks in spiritual warfare where a victory occurs. One has to be on constant guard to not let the heart fill with overconfidence. The old axiom that "pride cometh before a fall" is far to applicable.

I think by nature we like to treat any test as a one time event. The only problem is that Satan will watch and observe our every move. He will see if our hearts get too filled with pride or over confidence. Then we stop doing the things that brought the first victory. Thus we become so vulnerable to being blindsided in the process.

Perhaps the biggest danger in some ways is if a victory occurs and a door of opportunity opens, we might think it has to be a blessing and not recognize it may in fact be a for of temptation. One can see the sad instances of this happen with certain ministries that experience a great deal of fame and fortune.

It can be a blessing, however it can also be a way to corrupt the person till the actually end up being lure farther away from Lord as the intended blessing end up leading to a spiritual decline. None of us is perfect so anyone who thinks they are not vulnerable to such instances are only kidding themselves.

With each opportunity, with each occasion of change, the heart must always be prepared to keep open to asking, what is the Lord's will in this situation. There are times when the ego will say, this doorway is leading only to good. Nothing bad could ever happen to me in this situation.

It might be a true challenge to have to cope with accepting with what appears to be a blessing really isn't. Every aspect of our being could see nothing, but good. However somewhere deep inside there is an uneasy sensation that this situation is way too out of balanced.

If we don't ask the right questions, if we don't remain willing to be ever vigilant to only let the light for the Lord come into our eyes and not be consumed by some temporary feel good sense of dazzle, we can miss the truth. More than one person has interpreted the information in such situations wrong.

Going through the process of being vigilant can be less than impressive to others. Doing what God says is faithful doesn't always mean that anyone else will agree. This to is the element of being vigilant. To listen to the Lord regardless of what other voices claim is truth.

It is a journey that leads in many different directions, but ultimately to the same destination. A place where the light and vigilance will be eternal.

TRIALS AND THORNS

How the proud and courageous resound of a defiant chortle so echoing with confidence? Now before I get to far and somebody is going huh? Let me simplify it by saying, "oh yeah!"

Basically, we're talking about a state of mind. A deep abiding spirit of never-say die, don't surrender, keep trying regardless of what. It is a time of victory in the heart, but one that you love because you can brag about it.

And the whole time you haven't actually fired a single offensive shot, don't nothing in terms of acting on the sense of need for revenge. Point is, this is all about talk. Creating the illusion of ultimate victory even if it never becomes more than words. It just feels so good and sounds so impressive!

Meanwhile, once you get passed the illusion and all the joys of pretending to be a lion, you relax and go back to being a lamb. That's the part, which comes after the oh yeah, where you sheepishly say, "oh bother."

Only naturally we never exactly get into boasting about that part. Instead we hope it doesn't even get heard. Praying to god that nobody notices the yellow streak down our back that we do such a great job trying to keep covered up.

Am I saying we are all basically wimps at heart? No, not really. I'm just talking about how often talk is a whole more fun than action. We can spend all day shooting our mouths off without actually doing anything.

Shoot the very fabric and foundation of our society is based on words. Okay, true, they don't work quite as well unless you got a whole bunch of the meanest, toughest dudes on the planet to go out and kick butt when needed, but still the words almost always come first. It is sort of a good habit.

And it really does make sense too. I mean if you send the giants out first to break heads then the people who need to hear the words are going to be unconscious. That sort of defeats the benefit of saying all those words.

Plus saying the words gives the dudes with no necks who live to break bodies time to warm up before they go out and beat senseless whoever it is you decide needs to be pulverized. It really is a very logical approach.

Now for those of us lacking any benefit from the help of a bunch of goons, it doesn't mean we can't talk tough. We all got that part down pat. We just sort of forget when it lacks much benefit when you aren't following it up with some type of brain numbing act that makes the person you are threatening know you are serious.

But what the heck, why should that part keep us from having fun with the words. It has never stopped me so far. I just pray I never have to look in the mirror long enough to smell the crap.

RENEWAL

My soul
feels a lilting chortle
quiver
within the frayed garment
of my recollections.
I am a flower song
blooming melodiously
having tangential wings
to adorn
the figment moans
that drench
my essence
in a luxuriant teasing
unlike
any afterbirth
melodrama
created
during lovemaking
with a tedious
rule keeping corporate parasite.

TOGETHER

I was on this church board once when a discussion began on the subject of how unity was required in order for the Holy Spirit to work in a church. The "proof" text for this approach was that on the day of Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples it says they were "all of one accord." So by that reasoning we all had to agree to work together if we wanted God to bless our labors.

Later, of course, an addendum was added. Basically, that being together and in one accord meant we all would agree with doing things by the interpretation of the minister.

That was the part that I didn't quite see as fundamental to the whole process. I do enjoy when I can cooperate with someone else and work towards a common goal. But I do enjoy it if that means I have to always do things by their definition of what is truth.

I wish I could say that was the only occasion when I experience such prejudice. But it isn't. The basic rule seemed to be that whoever had the power had the right to define what it meant to work together. And it was always on their terms, whether they were right or wrong.

I do believe unity can accord in ministry. I think it has to be balanced though. Which is a difficult thing to accomplish at times.

But at the heart to me is the issue of first asking what is the Lord's will? To put his desires before our own. When that happens, together truly had meaning. When it gets lots in the me, me, me of membership demands and ministry politics the Lord's work always suffers.

Do we truly embrace God has part of the partnership? Is together a form of unity or just another opportunity when people seek control for the sake of attention.

The mind in charge will always seem to gravitate to a core of self for dominance in unity. But the heart will yield at times to the soul.

Most of all, isn't it part of unity to accept when there are times that it means accept for the sake of balance to simply not be involved other than a level God would desire? By that I mean are there times when we work too hard to be involved, not because it is God's will, but because our egos demand it?

Time and test grant witness to the truth. It share the elements of our real fruit in such situation.

Pity is the moment when we find ourselves thinking of unity if it only means we stand in the limelight. Even greater is the pity if we do so without the joy of surrender to the ultimate form of unity when God is honor as the one who is the leader and Jesus is the Lord instead of our desires.

FUEL

With the current spiraling cost of gas, I imagine the price of fuel is something that haunts a lot of thoughts people have during a week. Every time one goes to the pump, that price tag is a reminder of how much more it is costing today to fill up one's gas tank that even last year.

While it is not my desire with this blog to focus in on the debate over gas prices and energy alternatives, I simply wish to point out how important we all know that fuel is to our existence. Whether the future holds any viable hope for improvement is another of those subjects that no one seems to agree. What we do know from experience is that as a rule tomorrow things will cost more than today.

Which makes everyone aware that the simple price of life will never be cheap or one we will savor as pure pleasure. So we fill up our gas tanks and bodies, pray for some kind of mercy in provision and are never totally free from the concerns over the fragile nature of existence. Dependency to live on some form of fuel will always affect us.

And though we do so often deal with the energy needs of this life, I'm not sure the same applies to the spiritual side of being. Oh there are plenty of people who do "fill up' on spiritual energy by attending church. It is a natural connection in the minds of many for the type of energy, which truly makes the soul function.

Yet, it that always the only place you can energize the spirit? Does it really require some formula of effort such as relying on daily devotions or inspiration from a given source to truly revitalize and fuel the soul?

From my point of view the answer is both yes and know. Inspiration is important and beneficial. But we are all different and what speaks to one person isn't the same as what works for another.

Part of the answer to me is found in respecting God's capacity for touching our lives in a way that truly brings the fuel needed for our soul. Some will never truly be free enough in their thinking to open their minds to such options. They will be content to only visit their local meeting house for worship and bible study and decide it is enough.

Yet, I've seen the times when that type of approach genuinely doesn't satisfy. It grows stale from familiarity and the simple reality that to often it just doesn't reach into the recesses where we actually live.

When this happen and we simple don't feel refreshed from the experience that natural reaction is try regard the problem as being with the nature of the worship service. One wants to have it changed to add variety and augment the withering sense of satisfaction.

There are times when in reality, I think God uses those times to prepare to listen to him. It is a tap on the soul's shoulder to in essence say, "Wake up and listen to me for a change." The big question is whether we are prepare to accept fuel is available other than sitting in a pew?

DREAM UPON THE SHOULDER

As a writer, my imagination is always in the red zone of reality. Life is too ordinary for those of us who do not stand in the limelight. That isn't always a bad thing. For when things are predictable and calm, there is a lessoning of stress.

Still, who doesn't crave the sense of identity and a desire to feel special. I'm never surprised to see the people I know who are often so self-absorbed. Dreams unfilled, life stagnant, they have that hallow, empty look in their eyes. The one that comes from the haunting vein of questioning, who am I? And the answer isn't always a pleasant one.

To me the signs of being self-absorb are sometimes very subtle. Most often is tied to a basic inability to be courteous. My definition, naturally. By that I mean if someone pays you a compliment the common response is to reciprocate. That would the thoughtful response. Only it amazes me how many times it doesn't happen with some people.

I participate at this writer's site. One of the means of communication common at the site is to read and comment on another person's works. The protocol is that in return, the person will do the same for you. Only it amazes me how many people love to have you tell them how good they are at writing, but it never occurs to them to do the same for you. That to me is being self-absorbed.

I mean it because when it occurs on a spiritual level it really detracts from a person's capacity to minister in my opinion. And when the person is totally consumed with telling you all about their problems, but never even asks about your problems that is hard to regard as anything other than a person being self-absorbed.

Dreams filter through that process as a form of defense in some ways. And sharing them can be inspiring at times. However, it is difficult if the person you are dealing with isn't a dreamer too. Or their idea is one that they don't want to hear about anyone else's dreams, but their own.

The amazing thing to me is how some people never are able to even gleam an inkling that as much as they enjoy having attention, others feel the same way. Their souls are simply stuck in a vacuum of self absorbed thoughts. They can't rise out of that chasm to truly minister to others, but they still sometimes love to think they are the paragon of caring. Honestly truly suffers in the process.

I've tried over the last few years to become a better listener. To try and grant people a chance to feel comfortable sharing that dream that is parked on their shoulder without worrying they will be mocked for such dreams.

Such a time though seldom opens the door to others doing the same. Most of the time, it just seems to fuel desires on the part of people to have even more attention. What comfort I get comes from having simple done what I felt God led me to do in the situation. It is not the kind of experience that always brings joy. But sometimes I do allow myself a chance to fly with my own dreams.

KEEPING TABS

Oh the duty
that collided
with want
as the bartender
of emotions
urged us
to imbibe.
It was his secret
gratuity,
which became
invisible daggers
used for carving
away
at our esteem.
But he smiled
regardless
even though lacking virtue.
Alcohol
for the soul
is always costly.

TESTIMONIES

What speaks louder, what we say or what we do? It might seem like something with an obvious answer, but sometimes I do wonder.

I say this because of my dealing with those who somehow think saying the right spiritual phrases and yet stabbing people in the heart with their hate is a good testimony. It is as if they have no conscience. You are just suppose to think they are a good person because they go to church no matter how abusive, selfish and unloving they act.

One my brother's in Christ has been so frustrated with this type of dichotomy between what people say and what they do that he cringes anytime he has to deal with someone who claims to be a "good" Christian. It is like they are wearing a sign saying, "Hey, I'm a believer so I'm okay. Never mind that I plan on stealing you blind and lying about it, I still a good person because I go to church."

That kind of thinking to me is the foundation of what allows some to go to church on Sunday and then feel very comfortable abusing their fellow man on Monday. Never mind that Jesus spoke of the second greatest commandment being love thy neighbor as thyself. It sort of gets lost between the time in the pew and when one is counting his or her pocket book.

Sadly, such a testimony is the one too many see too often when they encounter what gets put on display as Christianity. That hardly brings any real honor to the Lord.

I'm not claiming to be perfect myself. But then neither do I try to shove my faith of every person I meet to try and suggest that I'm a good person.

Somewhere in that contrive maze of thought and religiosity where the spirit gets trapped in a fun house of traditions and rituals, sanity and the light of true give way to shadows. Ironically, perhaps instead of being testimony to truth and the Lord, one becomes his adversary, casting shadows of doubt upon the merits of what is of the Lord.

And being in darkness that is the result of being a prisoner instead of truly free in Christ, the person has their blindfold of self-righteousness on so tight that it is impossible to ever remove it. After a while one becomes so comfortable wearing it that you don't even give a lot of thought to the inner witness from the Holy Spirit that says such behavior isn't truly honoring the Lord.

It is a game in reality. Only it isn't the type of game that people apparently enjoy. Nor am I sure they see if for the testimony of hypocrisy that too many other notice.

As for who ends up the winner that would be difficult to say. After all, you can't really keep score in such an event, when the scoreboard and score card are kept by the recording angel in eternity. I have a feeling that too many will find out too late that they didn't win at all. But then in eternity losing at the game of faith and salvation is one thing I doubt will be a reason to boast.

TRIALS WITHIN

The mind can sometimes be just as much a source of problems as any outside threat. We are all the composite of our existence. That includes the thoughts, desires, memories and all the other elements that float around in our brain. It doesn't mean we can control them, merely that they do affect us.

God is aware of this as is the devil. The Lord can inspire, test, direct and otherwise influence us for our own good and to serve his purposes. Whereas the devil will do what he can to erode our faith, discourage and basically keep us from our destiny.

None of that is new. It is the reality most people know from the spiritual battles of life. Still, no matter how long one lives it is easy to confuse when our own mind is working against us and when Satan is parking one of his bunch on our shoulders.

What amazes me is the number of Christians who either discount or ignore such realities. They never see beyond the practical. If something happens they only apply a rational view to the subject, never any appreciation for how what is the trail within might have another source.

This is no formula for such situations. It is a matter first of all of listening to God's spirit. One can not truly understand light or its source without spiritual eyes that come from the Lord. And the Lord spirit only is active in the life of those who are truly trusting in God and his word.

So if a person doesn't start from that premise how can they truly expect to understand or appreciate the depths of turmoil that swirl with energy beyond our power? The simple answer is they can't.

It is sad to see how many of those who study the bible and go to church, but have no capacity for awareness of when a trial is something more than just an ordinary consequence of life. And what is equally sad is when the same people presume that if something happens to them it is always Satan's doing. They would never assume that perhaps God is using a situation in order to get their attention.

I can't think of the times I've witness such moments in the lives of others and also been guilty of it myself. That is not a source of shame or pride, but hopefully one of learning. I pray I will never reach a point that I lose the capacity to accept I have things yet to learn.

To be able to truly cope with the trials within requires a type of honesty that lifts one from the pit of excuses. God washes off our stains of denial and lets us see the garment underneath isn't as bad as we fear or as good either. In the end it requires his help to truly be durable.

Sometimes the best way to wear any garment of soul and thought is to let the Lord tailor it to fit our lives. Hopefully, we will not complain about the stitching he uses along the way.

WAITING

Light
filling the narrow corridors
of our mind.
But do we see
what is revealed?
For some
life is a journey
absent of truth.
They never await
to gaze
at the reality
such illumination
shines upon.
How sad
when our lives
are beyond
the limitations
in one’s sight
and never focus
passed ignorance’s night.

DISTANCE

How long does a memory last? With some a life time, with others only a heartbeat. The difference is probably how we felt about the memory. Those that create happiness or sadness so they burn in our minds seem to last the longest.

But is there a way to truly forget the ones we should forget? I'm speaking of the ones that are associated with pain? Especially if it was pain caused by another.

Which brings me to the question of whether or not one can have real forgiveness without forgetting? I've struggled with this issue. Because for me when I hate or am feeling truly hurt so the pain becomes a bleeding wound it is impossible for me to just treat the other person as he or she did nothing wrong.

And I'm not even sure that is what we are expected to do. For me that is why distance at times is the only means of real forgiveness. When the pain subsides, which for me is when some other pain replaces it, then I don't feel the hate towards the other event quite as much.

Some insist that forgiveness is an act you can achieve without any problem. I think they often misinterpret Jesus' teaching on the subject. First of all there is the issue of the person actually wanting forgiveness. They would have you required to forgive even when the person never admitted to doing anything wrong. What Jesus spoke of was when the person asks for forgiveness.

Beyond that, I think that the foundation of forgiveness resides in not seeking revenge. In the capacity to let God be the judge and means of justice. This of course doesn't mean that if a person breaks the law you don't do anything to see that they face consequences of such actions, but that when it is our choice because what the person did was a personal wrong we leave it in God's hands.

Hence the joy of distance. Today the wrongs of the distance past are still in my mind, but they don't stir the same emotions. I'm grateful for that release. And I do rejoice over the times I've seen the hand of God work so steadily to bring about his justice and vengeance in such situations.

My heart never truly is free though of the hate at times. But I refuse to pretend it doesn't exists. What is said to me are those who because they fear Jesus warning about judging, can't be honest about their feelings. So they hate in their hearts, which is evident by the words they say. Only they try to wrap some excuse around the hate to keep from any sense of guilt.

When one truly trust to God for vengeance and justice, it is funny that when it comes with distance it really does bring a certain peace. I doubt the same occurs when one spends the same time plotting and planning for revenge. Oh refuses to face the mirror of truth in terms of honesty about their feelings. Perhaps at times the saddest even is when there is too much distance between our feelings and the lies we say to others about how we really feel.

BETTER SIGHT

I've worn glasses for being near sighted for over twenty-five years. Never felt any urge to try and use contacts. Part of the reason is because I have this real adverse eyelid reaction whenever anything comes near my eyes. It is so bad that the doctor really has to work hard just to get eye drops in my eyes before an eye exam.

Beyond that the complication of diabetes has added a wrinkle to my sight problems. To the degree that options I might have once consider such as laser surgery to correct nearsighted are no longer a possibility. Plus, since my life threatening crisis a few years ago my right eye now has a flaw in my vision that makes it difficult to read out of that eye.

Fortunately, my left eye does compensate enough that I can still read. Which would definitely be major problem if I couldn't given my calling as a writer. So I am grateful to be able to see well enough to continue to serve the Lord in the way I feel is his will.

The one thing I have learned through this entire process is to keep my options open and to do what I can to take care of my vision. That has included laser surgery to deal with bleeding at the back of my eyes on at least three occasions. It was necessary and I accept it. My vision hasn't improved, but it hasn't gotten worse either. I consider that a blessing, although with all the writing I do it means plenty of times of eyestrain that leads to fatigue. This too I endure for the sake of what I see as my calling.

It isn't my desire to make this strictly a posting about the problems I have with my eyesight. But to simply reflect upon a greater, spiritual relevance in terms of the eyes of the soul.

It is easy at times for one's spiritual eyesight to get blurry. We can suffer inner eye strain from looking too hard to see what is in reality something that needs a different type of vision. By that I mean our mind can suffer from seeing only through the spectacles of tradition. They can get blurry from only seeing what we want to see and not the vision God desires.

Light from above can be blinding if it is not looked at with honesty. For vision from the soul has to be able to gaze beyond the horizon of one's prejudice. I've known too many who sadly were not capable of such better sight because they were not willing to see the truth. It was simply too harsh a view.

Plus there are times when the Lord expects us to recognized when our sight is too blurry. Basically to be able to see that what we are looking at is not quite in focus. We have that inner sense of it being off balance. This is the soul's witness urging us to take a second look. Only it doesn't mean we are always willing to see that image as it was intended to be viewed.

Above all, before we can see clearly we must first lift up our eyes and hearts to the Lord that it is his spirit that will light was we see. Otherwise the light can dim and our vision be too poor to sense it.

DOWN THE TUNNEL

Ever feel like you were on a journey taking place in a tunnel? It is that sense of being confined and forced to move in a certain direction without any assurance of when you will reach the end. And when the moment comes that can see the end, which is from the light at the opening, you start to relax. It might still be a while before the light seen results in the end of your journey, but you do feel a sense of relief just the same.

Not being someone with much patience or tolerance for pain, the one thing I hate is waiting. Uncertainty is not my favorite past time.

Unfortunately for me too many events in my life translate into some form of waiting. Some of them I can handle easier than others. But I have come to appreciate how often when it involves a spiritual test of my faith, it has a higher purpose than just to bring stress into my life.

Perhaps the biggest problem is the times when God uses someone as a catalyst in terms of a tunnel I have to go through who has not clue of the spiritual relevance. It is amazing how many people who regard themselves as Christians who are clueless when it comes to spiritual truths.

Some can quote all kinds of scripture from memory, but don't have any insight whatsoever. I can't count the number of times I've dealt with believers that couldn't grasp the significance of how a certain act or deed really is working contrary to God's purposes.

I don't regard myself as special in that regard or unique, but I have learned to watch for those tunnels God seeks to use for our own benefit. It is just too bad there are so many who never make the connection.

They just can't rise above a certain level of thought. Things have to be completely defined and easy to understand or the reality and spiritual truth eludes.

What is said is that sometimes God uses a tunnel experience to test other people. Sadly too often the fail the test. Not necessarily because they are rebellious, but because they just can't allow themselves to understand why a person must follow a given path.

Perhaps if life were more defined then we would be less troubled by those moments when a given journey must include the time of moving in a direction where there is no detours. And if we try to avoid the direction it only ends up causing more headaches.

There is no map to always give direction. There are plenty who will be glad to offer up their opinion, but it doesn't always mean they speak for God.

It is hard to say how often any one person will find himself entering another tunnel of life. I do know there is always more tunnels to face. We can either do so with God's help or try to look for a way to escape the tunnel on our own. Faith is the choice that guides us on the journey.

Standing
isn’t always
a voluntary act.
It isn’t always
because
in shouting
others will notice.
And though Heaven’s light
shines upon another’s face
to abide in a stance of trust
is still to know
of the Lord’s
bounty of grace.
For in the race
between crib and crypt
all have stumbled
along the trail,
but some stand in faith
knowing God’s word of promise
shall eventually prevail.

ONCE UPON A TIME

Fairy tale beginnings swirl in my head. I love to reinvent the pass with a happier ending and more charmed beginning. It might seem like a questionable exercise, but I find it soothing at times.

That old adage about having a chance to relive the past with your current wisdom is a saying that has haunted my own life at times. Yet, for me it is a process for seeing in the muck and quagmire of undaunted obscurity a certain clarity of hope.

I can reflect upon the migration from my deep abiding valley of regret and doubt to my current state. Not that I feel I have arrived at any point of complete maturity.

Only that I truly rejoice how God has been able to lift me from such a valley in a way that served his purpose. On the surface such a journey may not seem to have been very successful. For I an neither famous or successful by this world's standards I have nothing of which to boast in that regard.

However, within I do find a certain calm to my turbulent soul from the small doors of thought that have been opened in my life. They are gems of lucidity that God grants, which are a foretaste of the eternal.

It is like having been on a journey through a very harsh wilderness and having traveled it alone. When you finally reach a city your clothes are tattered and nothing, more that soiled rags. You look filthy and to the casual observer like some homeless vagabond.

They have no clue about the victory that warms you heart. How being in the place they take for granted, you are a survivor and that is a form of accomplish they will not understand.

So they stand in their garb of fancy dress, looking down their noses are your seemingly insignificant life. All the time totally oblivious you have just been where they will never have to go. And the one thing you have they will never have is the confidence from surviving.

In the realm of faith, this type of tale is often told and only God can add the once upon a time as it fits eternity. We are too hasty to make lateral comparison about life. To see only with our eyes and not our heart.

When we do, we miss the greater tale. All the once upon stories being written in Heaven that won't be told till the end of time as we know it.

Behind each pair of eyes there is a sunrise to a world only they can see. It is one that if God is the author has many places for leading we can always understand.

Can we greet each other in the celebration of all the once upon a times yet to come rather than the fables we call reality? That is a question only the heart can answer.

CHILDISH THINGS

There is an old saying about as an adult one puts away childish things. It has several different possible meanings, but perhaps as a follower of Christ we know sometimes that it might be tough to put away all the "things" from our childhood, when it means or includes unhappy memories.

I think the broader idea has to do with "growing up." Essentially, it in part means being willing to give up playing with the toys of youth in favor of the tools of adulthood. Regardless of our real age, sometimes truly abandoning those emotional "toys" of me first, my way or no way are hard to abandon. Some never do.

This isn't about salvation, but it is about the intimacy one can have with our lord and savior. For spiritual adulthood is to focus with receptive and mature ideas upon what God says is important. It is to set aside the childish things of only seeing life as I relates to the here and now and not eternity.

Ironically, Jesus once mentioned how we needed "childlike" faith. This meant the kind of faith that is so trusting and completely without doubts as we often know as a child.

I do wonder how many times in the process of growing up one has trouble separating out the two? We abandon that part of thinking, which is truly relevant to faith along with our other toys.

So we enter the faith as an adult, so proud of our maturity, but never appreciating how spiritually we haven't actually matured at all. Wrinkles may mask our faces, but inside in our souls we are in reality still children.

You could hardly expect to have too many truly embrace that reality though. Pride would not grant them the freedom to admit they are still children before the lord in our spiritual lives.

What is amazing to me at times are those who think they are mature. But in reality, they have never truly grown up.

Oh they can recite numerous verses, tell you all kinds of relevant truths they can parrot from their preachers, but inside the deep revelations and insights still haven't developed. So they are only mature in their minds, but think they are truly mature saints just the same.

Whether we grow up in the Lord doesn't affect our salvation naturally. But it does impact the quality of spiritual life on our peace in the Lord along the way.

And also there is the reality that no matter how much we "age" in terms of spirituality, we shall never be as adult as when we stand in the presence of the Lord. So until then we can celebrate what lessons we have learned and the times when we did understand the message our soul can embrace in some degree of spiritual maturity.

STAR

It is the gold
that shines
from who
we really are,
but don’t always
recognize
and though
one often
may not have any
visible
radiance
it is still
a bright light
unto the lord.
For he sees
what we never
see.

NEED VERSES HEED

Life does not always make sense it seems. No matter how hard we wished it would. And following the path of faith doesn’t improve that reality either. The fact is there are just too many random things about life that are left to chance. We can diminish the problem to a degree, never completely purge live of the variables.

Need is almost a form of language at times. It isn’t hard to appreciate how things such as food, shelter and even air are essential to life. Then after obtaining those things we always have our different other issues that are necessary to survival, but we still regard as need.

Where problems arises for me is that our view of need may at times conflict with God’s will. He does know our needs better than we do, but at the same time he also is aware of our higher needs. Those that bring us into eternity and will be with us at that point.

For practical minds having not spiritual yearnings, that type of heed to the Lord’s spirit will elude their thinking. They can never understand or appreciate the call in the soul to do what God wants just because it serves his purposes and in no way applies to feeding our stomachs.

Indirectly, anything of a spiritual nature has that form of element. But whereas pursuing some intangible that applies to touching our soul may achieve some benefit to us, if God isn’t in the center then it lacks the higher purpose of heed.

So at times, for the pilgrim of faith this all means traveling where others would think it hazardous and pointless. They will regard such travels to deserts of testing where our physical needs may not always be satisfied as something bizarre or without merit.

When such practical minds do find themselves in the confines of a temple or house of worship they often filter the divine message through a more “affordable” theology. Meaning they conform God to their image other than heeding to his will.

If such minds dominate the ebb and flow of a church it will often be cold and uninviting. For it will lack the flame of spiritual life that only comes from heeding to God’s will. Then Jesus in such situations becomes merely an image. He is a savior of convenience as opposed to both Lord and Savior.

Such people sit in the splendor of their self-righteousness, content they are superior and will be in Heaven as a reward. Faith is the simple act in their minds of believing. It has no passion or real risk, just conformity.

But for the listening soul who will do as God commands, heeding will always take priority over need. Just as the model our that our Lord and Savior gave to us with his life. And in that knowledge we can face each new dawn, alive with the joy that it leads to eternity and not more bank accounts where the pocket book is the secret god of one’s desires.

TIRED AND SIRED

To be human is to run of gas from time to time. I think outside of the spiritual significance of the Sabbath day there is the practical side that God knew were needed the moments of stopping the routine and allowing ourselves to recharge. I’m not sure we always take that advice to heart, but I do appreciate how it is important.

For myself, since I work full time on the weekends, Tuesdays often ends up being my day of rest. There are some Tuesdays when I truly feel the need more than others. And it is interesting how when I find myself in the period of quiet it ends up affecting my thoughts about life in general.

This almost always lures me to that precipice of gazing past my current situation and thoughts of what lies beyond this life. I can hardly do that without God entering into my thinking, which is not something I’m complaining about.

I only wish such a visit was totally spiritual without any other intrusions. But it never works out that way. For sometimes too me the door to the spiritual realm doesn’t just open to Heaven’s realm or God’s spirit visiting one’s thoughts. It means when that door is open the soul can end up being susceptible to the tangential voices from the dark corners of reality.

It can create a rollercoaster of moods and thoughts, which can be both good and bad. Which may seem confusing and difficult for some to accept. However, it is a far more common event than some might be willing to acknowledge.

That is a reality that can have such awkward affects upon a person’s spirit. You can be sitting and praying, reading the bible, singing a hymn and your mind will drift to some faith or spiritual thought. One can have a moment of pure ethereal lucidity and then in the middle of a serene and truly blissful experience IT attacks. Hate, anger or some vision of rage will dart into the brain.

What is amusing to me is you can always sense that distraction in the gaze from another’s eyes. They will start out with some transfixed flash in their orbs that shows a focus in balance with mind, body and soul towards God’s direction.

Then comes the intrusion, no doubt sired by Satan’s hordes that is intended to confuse and distract. It pulls at the emotional strings and if successful interrupts one’s concentration. As long as we are alive this is a clash within that we will battle.

The problem is while this is a common experience, not everyone is prepared to accept that they have such carnal desires or how the flames of hate can so easily be set ablaze in one’s soul. I even remember one person who told me once how she had never actually hated anyone in her life. There were those she didn’t love very much, but none she actually hated. I have to admit to feeling sorry for her in her self-dishonesty. She might not have been willing to call it hate, but there were sure plenty of times when she acting and said things that were hateful from my point of view. Not that I felt I was any better, I just was aware how she had given into the sad need to pretend that one can be a person of faith and not be a target of Satan’s desire to ignite our dark side.

UPSCALE WINGS

Whether or not we should, wings are often associated with angels. Although there were incidents recorded in scripture were angels appeared in a form that made them look like men, I think the most popular opinion is that angels have wings.

It is interesting I suppose how often we form notions about the spiritual realm that isn’t necessary the result of any fact or revelation. Such is the case with the idea of somehow thinking meeting an angel would be like meeting some stranger on the street. And then there is the idea, albeit a silly one, that angels would somehow be shocked or stunned to find out that some believer was less that saintly.

Angels have been around since the creation of man. They, just like Satan and his minions have witnessed all of man’s deeds. So it is rather absurd to think we have to be other than honest in terms of their presence.

In reality the spiritual realm does envelope this world. Angels come and go and the beings described as recording angels keep tract of every deed and thought we have. Hardy makes the idea of somehow attempting to be perfect truly have value.

But people try. They think they can somehow only appeal to the “upscale” wings of angelic presence. Ever forgetting how angels have wings that are there too when we are in the midst of a dark side too.

Personally, I reached a point some time ago of realizing any effort on my part to act truly good or spiritual was futility to say the least. My demented writer’s brain was way to removed from any thoughts that would make me acceptable to the lord.

So instead, I surrendered as best I could to God. That way he could have it to use for his purposes. Along the way there are those rare moments when that happens despites my failings. When it does I rejoice and never lose sight that such incidents are certainly not something I can take credit for in anyway.

True freedom to fly by upscale spiritual wings depends upon soaring upon God’s breath. Without his lifting power, we can flap our arms by our own strength and never actually get anywhere.

It is the joy that comes from reaching that point of gliding on the slipstream of honesty where we can celebrate forgiveness without the need to lie or pretend we deserve such a blessing. How many love to think they have upscale wings because they worked so hard making them. They are darn proud of them and in no way feel they don’t have the right to boast.

The only problem is that when exposed to God’s righteousness they will be consumed. Then the fall is even more decimating than otherwise because in the process one is sucked by the gravity of pride to a pit of spiritual corruption.

Take flight, by letting God’s upscale wings be the source of energy and strength. Then we can truly soar among his clouds regardless of what others might think.

OLD HAUNTS

That verse prick
madness
swells in my soul.

My pen
becomes an ink needle
stabbing my penchant
for creative coma.

Born of fright
tethered by flight
I ascend
the stairs of longing
one more fateful step.

Returning
to the echoing chambers
and concrete carnage
where I see
death masks
as empty reminders
that life is just
a heartbeat.

FLARE AND BEWARE

Is the flash and glitz of what is assumed to be miracles always a sing of God’s presence or his blessing? Not having performed any miracles myself (other than if you count getting out of bed) I can’t say I could attest from personal experience.

The debate over the issue of miracles still rages in some spiritual circles. There is one school of thought that insists miracles were part of the old testament and the age of the apostles, but once the bible was available they were no longer necessary to demonstrate God’s revelation to man.

Then there is another point of view that insists miracles had not time frame or limit. That they are every bit as relevant to this age as they were in the past.

For myself, I do believe that God is every bit as powerful as he has always been. I don’t think he has any problems working miracles if that is his will. But I also feel that so many times he did demonstrate his power in a given situation for the purpose of inspiring faith. And sadly the history of human behavior is one that often shows how such demonstrations seldom ended with actually inspired faith in most people.

Our lord perform many miracles during his earthly ministry, but so often the gospels convey the idea how to often people followed him just to watch the miracles instead of really hearing his teaching. Thus outside of the disciples and a larger circle of those who did hear and respond far too many ended up departing when he began to emphasis the cost of following him.

Today there are those ministries, especially on television, which give one the impression that miracles are as common as breathing. They make some unbelievable claims with regards to things like healing. I’m not going to pretend to claim I know if all such claims are legitimate.

What I do know is that if someone could heal people that easy, why not out of compassion visit every hospital and hospice on the planet? That never happens, which is not that surprising unfortunately.

Still, I think the same purpose in God’s will exists today as in the past. God seeks to draw us closer to him through faith. Miracles are apart of that process at times.

And just like the past there are some who will always be more addicted to seeing miracles or whatever else appeals to their senses than trusting him. As for me, I’m just happy to get up in the morning and know he has given me one more day to trust him. It is enough. It might not give me anything to brag about, but I can rejoice in that kind of miracle just the same.

May God grant each of us the willingness to search our hearts and listen to his spirit when seeking what is more than just the ordinary. To also be able to enjoy what he does provide and not fret when it isn’t as glamorous at some show on televsion.

FINDING MORE

More can be a flower blooming in the desert. More can be the part of a damage package that is still good.

It is the redeemable in what is thought to be lost. The gold that remains in the dross of a given situation.

It is so easy to see something that falls short of one’s expectations as being a loss. But if we let our eyes end up blind to the truth or to see what is still good in the bad then we can easily miss the more.

The one truly wonderful thing I have learned about the Lord in terms of my own life is that he knows the end from the beginning. We judge only by the now or the past. So we can easily lose the ability to see potential in something we assume has no value. We have a hard time seeing where it can ever become more than what we currently see.

This is a real tragedy when the person with such sight does so as a parent or a teacher. For part of growth in some cases only happens when a withered plant is giving water. To pour out inspiration and encouragement to help what seems as hopeless eventually blossom.

God can look past the mask we where. He can see deep into the heart and know what lies there waiting to be awakened. Tomorrow may be the time when that which sleeps will truly flower.

Sadly with some people you are wasting your time expecting them to ever rise above their own nearsighted sense of purpose. They only know how to dispense the manure of criticism. They will never be able to help anyone go beyond their current limitations. You are simply wasting time thinking they will ever improve.

And yet sometimes we keep trying with the same person, hoping something we do will gain their approval. What lies underneath the soil of their thoughts are the many weeds of their own inner dissatisfaction. They will never rise above the misery of their own withered souls. So how can they ever nourish or encourage when they can’t do it for themselves?

With God the great joy is when one is following the Lord he can with time help us to evolve into the point of light and purpose that serves his purposes. That is different with each person. And regardless of how it is viewed by others, what truly counts is whether we are doing what God wants.

That must thrive in his light. It has to be according to what he feels will shine and not us. To the world it might look like foolishness or a waste of time. They don’t care about God’s will or his purposes. However, with the Lord if we follow the guiding of his Holy Spirit we shall come to the garden where our flowers of being will truly blossom by his standards. And having God as our gardener means what grows will live into eternity.

BLOSSOMS

Water and wind
nature’s perfect spin
twist and turn
writhe and sire
a nerve stem
sensory fire.

Seeds sprout
in the soul
inspiring,
growing
turning our eyes
into pots
brewing
visions of colors
so intense and bold.

Deep in the chasms
of memories
stirs the ancient brew
about when we were
nothing more
than another of creation’s
gold.

Flowering
through the pages
are the vanguard
in sensory fireflies
who carry the heart
unto the heights
where nature’s song
has perfect wings.

BOOKS, LOOKS AND KOOKS

I was surfing the radio dial the other night at work and ending up first listening to a preacher who was rambling about how you weren’t really a Christian unless you tithed. He was basically implying you were saved unless you gave. That isn’t what my scripture says is the basis of salvation. My bible says that accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior was necessary to being saved. God did include that I had to show him my pocket book first before he would decide if I could go to heaven.

Anyway, for me it was yet another example of how often someone who is in a position of authority in a church has the occasion to dispense their own prejudices and claim it is gospel. Is it any wonder when this happens constantly that non-believers raise an eyebrow in terms of questioning whether everything else the church claims is truth?

Later I had the occasion to listen to a group of what I assumed where men with a long list of degrees behind their name discussing the latest fantasy to hit the movie screen, The DaVinci Code. It was obvious from their comments that they definitely weren’t Christians.

They ended up moving from that discussion to talking about the life of Jesus. Naturally, even though their ideas were for me something out of the Twilight Zone, they never admitting what they said was pure speculation.

Among their gems of thought was the assertion that Jesus was married. They made reference to the time Mary Magdalene anointed Jesus feet. In the scriptures Jesus makes it very clear that her act was one of preparing him for his funeral. It was a reference to his awareness of his impending death.

Now this “scholar” tried to claim that this act follow a custom for a Hebrew wedding. Naturally he didn’t bother to mention what Jesus said because it would have negated his interpretation. It was his need to try and prove that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married.

I find that point of view utterly ridiculous myself. Of course to me I see Jesus as my Lord and Savior and also as God. From that point, even though he was also fully human I have no reason to even wonder why God from heaven would come to earth and take a human form and then marry a mortal. Even if he did marry, couldn’t he have done a little better than to have married a prostitute? I kind of think Jesus would have been that hard pressed for a date he had to settle for a woman the scriptures clearly indicate was a woman of less that a pious lifestyle. To me the very idea is just utterly stupid.

However I do appreciate that once you regret Jesus as Lord and Savior you can pretty much believe whatever you want of him. And if somehow in your mind he would have need to get lucky with a wild woman then I guess you are entitled to your opinion. Personally, I don’t think I would want to stand in front of my Lord in eternity where I shall see him clearly as the creator of all life and the all powerful Lord of everything and try to defend why I said he married a prostitute. I don’t think that will be the kind of comment that will earn one the remark from the Lord, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”