MADNESS

Never the passage we boast about. Not quite the joy we crave. A place where we stand in the narrows of our mind and wish it was a dream.

Life has its own song, it doesn't write just for us. We can hear its notes and celebrate or question the composure.

But we don't get to change the melody or how it plays out in our lives. We can at least appreciate the harmony and try to enjoy each creation.

Providing we want to listen. And that is not the way we wish to truly grow. For it does not come with a joy of hearing.

While we wait to understand the composition and hope it changes, we can always find that special theme just for us. One played as we need it to in order to touch our lives.

With God as the conductor the music always has light. It glows and writes a magic in our souls that leaves us pause to hum.

But fortunately God's spirit can touch and help our hearing. We can feel the song flow in life and its different settings.

Whether we choose to see what God reveals or merely listen for a dirge is the option we make. And how often that is not the decision made in ways that is always uplifting.

For melancholy's tunes will come with their own special juke box. And it will be placed where we don't want it located.

However, we can rise above that sound with the Lord's help. To see the sights as intended and find beauty wherever we look.

It is not the preference we always seek. It is not the treasure we always want, but it is the truth and that is what counts.

We might of night choose to sing or of its dark choose to dream. Step by step our feet dance by a tune.

Only with God does the dance fine the right place to waltz that has no lies. At least noen we treat as truth.

But in the ball room where His angels reside we can find a chance to feel more than just in quest of refreshment. If we dare to see it for the reality.

That is the voice within we can hear with our soul. It follows dance steps to heaven. And with them we find a peace others will never know.

I rejoice when the day finds that hymn.

LEVELS

LEVELS

There is so much in life that doesn't exist on just one level of meaning. But then it isn't always easy to keep focused on this reality.

We can drift into only seeing the here and now. To think that what we have is all we have.

Faith requires better eyes. Faith demands we look at more than the obvious. And if the Lord inspires then we find the deeper essence of His creation.

How easy it is for life to become complicated by distraction. To let it bury us in ways we just can't escape forgetting what is really important.

God can help us the best with our problem in area. He can help to make us see in places where we might never gaze.

And most of all to find the love that He can inspire in so many ways. But then of it we can truly rejoice.

To live along the layers known and never see the depths below is to fail to find what God's fingers touched with love. This denies us the chance to learn.

Apart the moment we get so sidetracked if we feel his call upon our lives, then we not forget His teaching and learn all that it represents. A tragedy befalls us when we do.

But it isn't one we always see. If all we have is the sum of our thoughts. That is what becomes our legacy of ignorance.

Shared by many and never a good habitat. I am grateful when He grants us mercy. To be able to gaze beyond our lives.

The image isn't always a good one. But it is an honest one. And for that we can be grateful.

We can celebrate the lesson we have learned. And then we can move ahead in the joy that it is a good instead of bad thing.

Perhaps even to find the moment in which we stop complaining and see the joy we thought was a desert. When we do that we can feel good.

And then we can savor the growth. Because we didn't pause in places we assumed were too shallow to deserve our attention.

That is a source of praise. Though some will never see it that way. I am grateful when it does allow me to learn.
Even when the lesson is painful.

HALLWAY PSALM

Fluorescent shafts of light
paint their haunting dim glow of morbidity
upon the alabaster walls and black tile floors
as the sterile medicine scent infects the air
inside the hospice at midnight.

Bedridden patients serenaded by life support steady beeps,
only hear the voice within
murmur its dark lament
over every second lost to hate
and each time love wasn't spoken.

UNTO THE NIGHT

On a stroll beyond the night of our affections. To the place where we can't hide from the greater deceit that rules our existence.

But unto that time of pilgrimage we find ourselves being snared to follow light that is not held up by somebody's opinion. This is where one discovers thoughts we didn't accept we could know.

Life does require these moments. No matter how we try to avoid the reality, it does happen.

Because all of us have desires that never get satisfied. And it eats at us in so many ways. So we try to find ways of satisfying our disappointment.

Which is not bad if we find healthy ways to vent our needs. But that often where the heart wants to go.

Not quite the way that will lead to success or happiness. However, this doesn't translate into reason.

So we head in the wrong direction totally convinced it is the right option. Until disaster strikes.

Then perhaps we accept finally come to the point of truth. That we are not as perfect or good as we think.

Just a sinner in need of forgiveness. One who needs the Lord's guidance. And always ends up with the joy of embracing that need.

For God will not let us take a step in the dark without help. It just shines on places other than where we want.

Darkness is meant to emphasis what is important. Not to be a place we hide. And with God's help we find the right steps.

To do so doesn't mean our passions will get the attention they deserve. Perhaps not in the way we want.

For when we see with His eyes we find in the darkness more than a sense of being lost. We find hope according to His word.

And that is a path that will find the right direction to satisfy our needs without leading to disaster. Just never easy to reach it when we think only of ourselves.

It will be the point we know, what our soul truly craves and that is always a joy when it comes with light.

DISTANCE

Gaps in lives and spirits, thoughts separated by canyons of differences, they are all part of the nature of what we face far too often. And it never can be kept from creeping into life.

No matter how hard we try, no matter how much we love, there are times distance happens in our relationships. It doesn't have to be intentional either.

So many things can contribute. Not always problems either. Just the ordinary demands of life will do it.

And when the distance takes its toll on feelings and joy then it becomes a source of so many sags upon the heart. Even if we try and want the intimacy, it can elude us.

And the same can be true in our spiritual times. It is so easy to get caught up in life we have no time for fellowship with the Lord.

Not that we are content with such a condition, but we are human. We get sick, we get tired, we get emotionally depressed.

It all intrudes upon our desires. I think the Lord understood this when He spoke of how the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

I don't think it was meant as a condemnation as much as an awareness this flesh we possess is not perfect. Our minds can imagine perfect, but our bodies can live up to the standard.

However, I do think at times we beat ourselves up with unrealistic expectations. A need to see life with an appreciation of forgiveness and grace.

It all becomes a basic part of one's ability to embrace that pleasing to God is not about being perfect. Or even close to it.

For when we can embrace this with true understanding, that is when we can face the truth in ourselves. We don't have to make up stories about our failures.

It is rare point in our thinking when this happens. The times when we can truly be comfortable with our true natures.

At that point we can also begin to see what is needed to be changed in our lives. That is a blessing when you don't have to lie about it any longer.

Just face the next day grateful to be alive. And along the way feel good that you can be yourself.

It isn't perfect, but it is a far better road to travel than the one where all the scenery is faked.

WHERE THE LIGHT GOES

How often this happens in the process of spiritual awaken. One moment we see so clearly, the next all is dark.

It just weighs one down with confusion. To go from the mountain top to the valley in seconds can be so devastating.

We can sit back and feel guilty. As if we did something wrong that deserved to be punished.

In truth, with faith and our experiences we will always ride a roller coaster. This is the natural process that doesn't result in only walking on the mountain top.

And it can be by accident or on purpose, but we will all have to deal with the reality of following a narrow path. It just isn't level.

I'm sitting at work while writing this posting and my day is going fine. But all around me the world feels so full of chaos.

At home there is sickness and the usual problems of life. As with a very special friend of mine.

For me on a personal note I had cause to celebrate. Yet my celebration is dampened by all the misery.

It is as if there is no good without a bad side. No joy without a sorrow. Do I let it totally ruin my moment?

I try not to. But I do admit that there are times when it is hard. For there those I might savor the good, I must also accept the bad.

Both dwell in life and we do appreciate that. Being a Christian doesn't put some shield around you life that keeps it from having problems.

It is how we deal with the problems that is a measure of our heart and values. We can spend all day in prayer, but if we lose it when we are stressed, we are just another sinner, which is who we really are.

God does guide and inspire, but He will not remove the thorns from our garden. He may help us to see them, but He doesn't remove them.

The challenge is whether we are willing to embrace all that faith involves or just the times we feel the sun. That is a challenge we have to answer for ourselves.

And along the way perhaps we find he time to see the truth by God's view, which is so much clearer than our own.

immersion

Heaven's organic effervescent
warms the inner well,
bathed in the quenching lucidity
of divine light,
healing the wounds
from sorrow.

Found in nature's pools
where God's finger stirs
the waters.

DEEP AFFECTIONS

Below the surface, reaching down to the where live is truly lived, the real simmering sensations are not always the ones we admit publicly.

They are the ones the shine from our actions more than our words. And are attached to what we really value.

Doesn't mean we will actually take time to admit them. For in the darkness they won't always look the same as in the light.

We can easily hide some of the flaws and sins. Truly is so easy to cover over the facts with a few well woven tales of excuses.

None of which changes the reality. It doesn't impact how we truly feel. Just save the embarrassment of having our real feelings expressed.

But then that is all part of the fabulous joy of living in a cave. No light means you don't have to see anything, except what you want to see.

However, others will sense the truth just the same. It will be more obvious than we would care to accept.

Tales we love to share that have happy endings. Though they may be only fiction and not close to reality.

But better a mirage of Camelot than accepting one lives in some place full of dark corners and other than beauty. We revel in the illusion no matter the reality.

In God's hands we find the need to be lifted to see truth. He will not let us dwell in darkness without bringing us a candle.

However, that doesn't mean we always enjoy the light. It may be far too prone to show us what we need to change.

If we have worked to hard seeing our own version of truth we might not care to see what is really there. But it can't be avoided with the Lord.

For being in darkness never helps our sight. It never aids us in our capacity to grow. All it does is make it easy to avoid what will help us in the long run.

Perhaps life would be easier if there were no shadows, but that is never an options. And we can not truly appreciate the light without it.

Which makes it important to look when God lights our path even if we find ourselves in a place that is other than a garden. Sometimes with his help it can become one just the same.

LACE

Those special traces of spirituality that feel so good and almost make one believe we have changed. Only problem is that such lace is temporary.

A whiff of Heaven that can inspire, but doesn't necessarily have a lasting effect. Oh we like to think it will.

Like going to church on Sunday in hopes the lace of feelings will last all week. Which never works quite the way we want.

God's lace is full of light and love. It touches for specific purposes and always guides to his presence.

However that is done according to His will and for reasons that serve His purposes. It does not mean it will be for our benefit by our definition.

How easy it is to get trapped into only seeing things by our own needs. To seek lace for our benefit.

Which happens at times when you ask some people why they attend a given church. We will be given answers that make it appeal for personal reasons.

God won't even be mentioned in terms of wanting to please him. And that never ends up with a lace that lingers the rest of the time.

That is where we fail to keep the right focus. Get all trapped in our thinking to only want the kind of lace that feels good.

But has no real value beyond the feeling. What is sacrificed is the joy of looking for what is right.

Where God will cover us in a lace that truly inspires. It will come by His spirit and always carries a good, which truly lasts.

This can never be said of the lace we crave for selfish reasons. It only becomes one that will wear out to easily.

What we move beyond is the concern over just our needs. To only want what we want and not what God seeks.

His lace provides a perfect touch. It will always be a better fit than our own efforts at such possessions.

Hard to always appreciate that reality at times. And even more so if we so if we will be willing to listen. Happens to be a harder choice than some times we care to accept. But like so many things, this is part of reality we love to ignore.

Welcome

The mind's library
is open
for visits
when librarian
isn't blind
and doesn't fear
questions
or refuse
accepting
new publications.

Conclusions

Where does logic fail in its benefit and lose the quality desired? That is a question, which isn't easy to answer.

Some times it can be very difficult. If not next to impossible. I don't think that has to be reality.

But the so many things impact us in that regard. Our view of life, what mood dominates our thinking, it all bears down on our mood and thinking.

Wish that wasn't the case, but it is part of being human. Which is very hard to ignore if we are honest.

And I am grateful that God understand this is a weakness in our nature that can so easily detract from our capacity to make valid decisions. If by chance we let our thinking be colored in some special way that is even worse.

What is sad is when one speculates on the nature of another's actions. And then in he process decides to punish or reward based on such opinions.

It does get to be problem when life falls short of expectations and we decide somebody else is to blame. Even more so if we apply our values to another's actions.

I see that all the time and it is never a good thing. Just the nature of the way I think we all function to some degree.

And really, the only thing that will ever help to change that is when we listen to God's spirit. Which doesn't happen as often as we should.

It is so hard to restrain oneself from the temptation to sit down and draw conclusions just from only our own values. It can be difficult to avoid the need to read between the lines.

I know some who like to do this to try and prove how they know human nature so well. A sign of wisdom.

Well in their minds they see it that way. Course absent from the process is the one really important detail.

Namely a dialog with the person in question. To actually have talked to person and let them say what really is their opinion.

God will definitely inspire this aspect if we listen to Him. His spirit will inspire us to dig deep for the facts before making decisions.

It does take long and never is quite as much fun as just forming a thought from our own facts, but it is more likely to bring us to the truth, which He does care about.

ELEMENTS

Principles of being that dominate the mind. Drives of impulse that is easily defined where life is truth and where it is myth.

It is the fundamental and foundation nature of life that we try so hard at times to not accept. This is the part of life that we don't always enjoy.

For we can pretend that we are not slaves to our desires and pray about it, but at might even convince ourselves that is true. Right up to the point we are alone.

Because when there is silence the mind speaks. And we there is solitude the heart calls forth its truest song.

We live it more in quiet subdued thoughts, a cap on our rage, eyes refusing to give up the pain we keep buried inside. And that is the part that will crippled.

For if we can truly embrace who we are and what is part of our nature how can we listen when God seeks to change it? There is no chance if we don't even keep our eyes open to see.

Thus is the peril of life. To be guided in our passions without appreciating that they can get us in trouble or blind.

And as long as we only rely upon our own logic and thinking trouble will follow. Maybe not at a level were disaster falls, but a peril of the type the brings regrets.

Only the Lord's spirit can truly help to clear our minds with the truth. Only his hand can guy where we are to follow.

Many a soul has been left in an accident of misunderstanding when we don't heed this fact. For we can often be lead down the wrong path.

God gives us His word. And he always confirms its truth in our lives. But we have to be willing to hear.

How often that doesn't happen. We find ourselves ending up going, but, you know this is different.

Our way of twisting the facts to conform to our desires. It is so easy to do and so easy to make into a habit.

But then if we never venture beyond our definition of limitations how will we ever find out the real truth? I think we understand this does happen.

Just accept God's wisdom is better than our wants can be difficult, if not at times nearly impossible. Which is part of the journey of faith.

LAYERS

Such a wonderful thing to see the many layers of motives and plots that dog life and people. And they often are buried underneath a mantle of words.

Ones that often contradict what is truly underneath. It just sounds so much better when we give it a spin that makes the truth more beautiful.

Only that is not reality, just sounds good. Well as long a nobody looks beneath the surface. And that always happens sooner or later.

Normally when we find out facts about person that we didn't know. Then we listen to the explanations.

And those might even have a grain of truth. Or maybe not. It just depends on how bad we want to dress up that flawed layer we would rather forget.

Or how much we are afraid letting it be seen will somehow make the person think less of us. And that always ends with us looking even worse when we try to explain the obvious.

I think the problem is in part related to our need to have the illusion of self control. And that is okay.

As long as it doesn't become our reason for being. As if constantly denying the facts is going to somehow improve our situation.

God's spirit truly does try to strip away those layers from our thoughts. We wants us to be able to face the real truth.

And that can be so very painful if we cling to some delusion about our real nature. Even the most spiritual of beings has flaws.

None of us is without sin or the ability to be perfect. But when we build up this group of facades that help us not feel so bad about our lives.

What we need is truth. We need the power of God's spirit to give us the strength to deal with our problems in an honest way.

And that doesn't always mean the problems will go away. God doesn't reward sin by taking away the consequences.

But He does forgive and that is the important. Which is the one that that really counts. It is very hard to fully accept the meaning of forgiveness and grace.

When we do then we can stop holding onto layers and start celebrating. Which gives more joy than if we spend the time able to see what God has to show us rather than our own excuses.

SAGACITY'S SIREN

Souls sip
her eternal light,
which turns
their dreams
into visions.

Lives spent
creating her truths
in history's
stony souvenirs.

SHAME

I don't feel shame is equal to feeling guilty. We can feel guilty for doing wrong without feeling totally worthless.

I think shame carries with it a sense of utter lack of esteem. And I don't believe that is what God wants us to feel.

For we need to accept that we do wrong and understand the consequences. That is the part that I feel gets ignored.

For it can be hard to accept we are not angels or good. That in reality we are sinners no how much we try to be otherwise.

This is not intended as a negative observation. Just merely how we must be prepared to see ourselves as God see us.

Such is a difficult and sometimes nearly impossible task. So often when we fail at something there is a need to justify the behavior.

What is lost in the process is the truth. If we can't face who we really are we will never discover the root of our problems.

And if shame prevents us from looking into the mirror and seeing the truth reflection it will not lead to growth. But it is hard to take the look.

It is always said to see such gifted people involved in avoiding a sense of shame. Of being unable to say, hey I goofed up because I'm a sinner.

This is the part of life the Devil loves to attack. And if he succeeds then we will keep replaying the same fairy tales to rationalize our sins.

When we do this it can certainly buffer any shame. But it also keep us from any truths. We can just cling to our delusions and be happy.

How much we love to see ourselves as good. To be honestly be able to see that we never hurt others on purpose.

But then that is never reality. Oh we do vary in our degrees of sin, but it doesn't mean an of us is perfect.

What happens to often is when we do sin, we start wanting to bargain. Tell the Lord, but I did this and that so that offset what I just did wrong.

It never does, but sure helps us feel free from the feeling of shame. At least on the surface, but no in the soul For inside where our thoughts travel we know the truth and can't hide from it.

CARNAL

For some this is a bad thing. It does deal with pleasures of the body not related to spiritual or intellectual pursuits.

But that doesn't mean it is necessarily always a bad thing. Only that if it not channeled in a positive way it can be detrimental.

There are those who would define carnal as something without any value. Which might detract from the simple reality that it is a part of our bodies.

We were never meant to truly meant to live lives without feelings or desires. Some might suggest following God takes that turn.

But in reality if God didn't want us to have such passions, they would not be part of life. The problem isn't with them being in life, but with how we chose to satisfy them.

And pretending or lying about them will not improve our lives or behaviors. But still some of the teachings in the faith would imply this was the case.

That we could somehow live a life absent of basic desires. It is true that some have for the sake of worship abstained from a given behavior, but it isn't meant to be our daily ritual as a rule.

This is the confusion. And when teaching in the meeting houses make this the focus point then all that happens is that faith is replaced by legalism.

Which never improves one's relationship with the Lord. It merely suppressed its intended focus.

Some will live their whole lives in such misery. They will lose their joy and the simple ability to savor our faith as intended.

But if we do this in a way that will truly bring about the right response, there comes a balance.

The simple ability to enjoy what was intended from God and do so without guilt. This comes with understanding about faith and grace.

That word grace is the one that often is not embrace in church. It isn't preached or taught enough.

Which is the age old problem of seeing faith as works and not a free gift from the Lord. This is where the heat gets snared on so many levels.

We can move ahead only with the Lords help. And some will learn this lesson, others will not.

EMBLEMS

Ideology's masks
worn as
costumed jewelry
smiles.

Night bears
dragon conscience
from day's
conformity play.

SPIRITUAL

I love the concept this engenders in people. We all have our idea of what spiritual is suppose to mean.

However that doesn't quite relate to what God means by spiritual. And that is sure an abused subject.

It is as if being spiritual means you are not corrupted by any bad thoughts, never sin or have a single desire to do something wrong. You are totally loving and spend every second only thinking about God.

A very wonderful and poetic view of spirituality, but not true in any way. Which is where the problem truly resides.

For to often we keep the idea of being spiritual in a vice grip of expectations. Not one in any way generated by the Lord.

Then we complicate things by deciding it is the way we should view others. Even if we don't actually conform to it ourselves.

It is true that there are gifts of the spirit. But it doesn't mean that we will act perfect because of them.

That is the confusion I think that prevails. We just get dependent upon thinking in terms of conforming to somebody's opinion even if it is wrong.

The thing is, to be spiritual is not about being other than human. It can empower and give one extra ways to serve the Lord, but it doesn't like eliminate your personality.

And when we stop being human, which is to be honest, we rob ourselves of a very critical part of being spiritual. God's spirit works through us, but doesn't make us His clones or zombies.

We are still able to have free will. Merely that He will augment our thoughts and actions in a way that will truly work His will.

What doesn't happen is that we suddenly stop sinning. I know some that would make that part of the nature of being spiritual.

What shines through is God's light, but we still have the same candle holder. It is not gong to be perfect or cleansed just because the light has a different source.

That is the part which is hardest to remember. To walk in the light, but that we are not the light.

Those who learn this always see God, those who don't stay in denial's darkness.

DEPOSITS

When was the last time you made a deposit in the bank of Heaven and didn't not look for a withdrawal? Is God more of a Santa Claus to you than a Father?

That can be a hard thing to answer at times. We may not even wish to. For it can be so hard to accept how selfish we can be.

It is great that God doesn't treat us the way that we treat him. He is far more generous an loving thank goodness.

But that is the hard thing to remember. We can get so spoiled that we think just asking and never serving is fine.

Which then turns into this mindset at times of subtly thinking what have you done for me lately? No thank you, just expecting more.

And along the way if we do manage to serve him that idea still lingers in the mind at times, like hey I'm doing all this when do I get a reward? This does not exactly impress the Lord.

One of the hints that this is our attitude can be off is if we insist on bragging a lot. If we can't do a thing without everyone knowing.

When we do that there is no eternal reward. At least if that was our goal. For we got our reward in the attention we got from others.

Beyond the issue of our attitude is the fact that we do have the problem of expectation. We place ourselves in the mold of seeing life as if we are special.

Our actions always say a lot about our image. They can be positive or negative, but they always convey what we are to others.

This doesn't mean we are like that inside. Just that it is how we are perceived. And if that is an image we are trying to create, then it affects our attitude.

Course none of us is perfect. And as long as we don't forget that part it helps to keep us balanced.

For to see ourselves as other than sinners can become a crisis when we fail in the eyes of others. Doesn't mean we will ever be perfect, just we can be honest.

This doesn't mean we can keep others from their opinions. But it doesn't mean we have to get stuck accepting the box somebody wants to make for us.

That can make a very nice coffin for our minds if we let it become that way. Which will never bless.

UPS AND DOWNS

Ah the little detours from the expected. Yep it really is so much fun. You start out thinking that you are heading in one direction, mainly up and then it takes an unexpected change in the worst way imaginable.

But the real part is how it rips at your heart. One was expected heaven and got hell. Not quite the results that make us smile.

That is the time when we can stumble most. It is amazing how easy depression can cripple. Just can completely leave a person unable to care about anything.

Now in reality while things change from generation to generation in terms or our frame of reference. But we know that feelings are forever.

They are timeless and common to every heart. So you don't have to be perfect or in paradise to scream or laugh.

And we can adjust reality to the idea that if we have more or make life easier this will somehow make things perfect. It doesn't work that way.

Instead we must face the challenges at they come. We must endure and not give up even when the unexpected seems ready to crush us.

That never improves the problem. Nor will it ever. Instead we have the choice. To live and savor what we have or to hate it.

And God will enable us to cope if we will reach out to him. Not everyone will do this. In fact most will not do it at all.

So we must venture forth as usual by faith. Hardly anything new, just not always the path that seems the most encouraging.

Still those who follow an easy path never find it really benefits them in the long run. That sounds good at the time, but it will always end up less than our expectations.

Because we have followed it by our will. And thus we think we can control it. But we never can.

Following God's path always takes away that element. We learn we are not in charge and thus we listen to him instead of our will.

Which doesn't always make the path perfect. It can be harsh and even filled with problems, but the end is far more blessed than others.

To that end we find the way we choose more one without all the answers. But then the Lord will whisper what we need to know.

BUDS

In the moments of our hearts
when the vase of love blossoms,
our face becomes a bouquet of its petals,
joy's scent flowing in the air,
spring's magic awakens sleeping seeds of hope.

Each time we stroll among nature's floral rainbows
their sight and fragrance revives and inspires
all the buds of light buried in our soul,
as we feel ourselves apart of creation's living garden,
able to appreciate the beauty yet flowering in another's frail sprigs.

TRIALS AND TRAILS

Two elements of life we can be assured will never stop being part of life. Regardless of our journey and direction we can not avoid this reality.

Now trails naturally can be pleasant or harsh. They can be full of lush scenery or a desert. But we can be sure that the trip is not going to be halted as long as we have breath.

But the trails don't always carry obvious trials. They are there, but in the midst of somewhere scenic might be harder to notice.

However, the trial at times has to do with one that challenges our values. And with prosperity and blessings come that can be as corrupting as anything else.

Only because it feels so good we don't think anything of it. We just treat it as a blessing and no reason to question.

Why we might even think this is all some kind of reward. The whole time never even suspecting it is a test.

This is all part of the sad part of life where our mind translates reality according to our own prejudices. It is so easy to excuse or rationalize our condition to fit our needs.

That doesn't make it true and without getting to the core of the reality we can never truly appreciate what the nature of the trial happens to be about. This really is so common a problem in life.

Following the Lord hardly makes that any easier. We just have more reasons to give a spiritual twist.

And that is where we can stumble the most. For if we feel that the Lord is somehow condoning our condition then we completely will feel reasons to look at it as a reward.

Which again keeps us from seeing how it is being done to test our reaction. So many truly fail.

It is sad how we can be so predictable. We translate good times as blessings and bad times as punishment.

All of which in no way allows for the truth. That on any trail there will be trials. Just a matter no forgetting this reality.

To never let it prevent us from seeing clearly. Or allowing our heats to follow where God leads.

This is the challenge most of us, never losing sight of the Lord's face.

GLORIOUS

Ah the wonderful times when live is so blessed. You wake up and feel alive and all is perfect. It is nice when this lasts until after breakfast.

And it is truly wonderful when the same feeling lasts all day. Another truly cherished experience.

Unfortunately life doesn't give us this type of euphoria every day. It often doesn't last for more than a few seconds.

But when it does happen it is such a blessing. Still one can not make life based on this element.

We can savor the moments just the same. And what makes them even more precious is when we feel they come from God.

Providing we cherish them as gifts and don't act like they are rewards. That is when we can be challenged in our faith the most.

So much of life carries that type of element. Just full of routine and nothing else. No high spots or glamour. Basically mundane.

And no matter what we try it stays that way. Just a constant flush of sameness that makes life feel bland.

It is only natural to what to find the times when the harps sing. When we are lifted out of the shadows and feel God's light.

They are not always easy to find. But not impossible either. Just a time we have to savor when God opens the door.

And when they come we can rejoice. For they do take away from our problems to some degree.

At least in terms of how they impact us in the way we feel. The day may still seem dark. The world bleak, but if we enjoy the time then it is far less painful.

Which truly does bless if we give it the time an opportunity. But that is not when it means the most.

However it is what touches. And that will always make life more blessed. Sometimes we can find the joy more than others.

It all comes to the issue of listening. And that we do more some times than others. Providing we don't get too busy complaining to appreciate the times when we can catch the wind.

CONNECTIONS

Such a wonderful word this is in many ways. Implies a bond or relationship of deep personal relevance.

I really never thought of it in that terms till it was applied to me in a special way. A friend who has become my best friend defined our relationship this way.

I was very thrilled in many ways. But again it was not something new from my frame of reference.

There is a special joy I have learned from having that kind of friendship. It is because of the trust. You know that person would do anything for you.

Really is rare in the world today. And I do cherish it. But that is how we do learn a times.

With the Lord to be connected means listening to his spirit. How often that is easy to forget or miss.

Faith being the most critical element. That ability to truly accept God keeps His word. And that He always sees our lives.

He will never lie to us or guide us down a path of knowledge that doesn't involve truth. That is truly something hard to find with others.

However, we do have a chance to always remember that part. It does get hard when the shadows and murmurs come to always keep this in mind.

For God never said that life would be without tears. And that much we do understand, though I don't think we enjoy it.

The thing for me after years of trusting God, I have learned that things never really get easier. They often get harder.

My life definitely is far more demanding today than it was years ago. But the good news the Lord grants me the strength to cope.

Not that I necessarily savor the burdens at times. It would be nice to feel a chance for life to be easier.

But I have learned that easier is where you fall into a crack that looks so appealing. You hear the voice that says, go ahead, take it easy. You deserve it.

And the moment you do back away from life's duty that were placed on your shoulders, then it isn't that hard for it to keep slipping farther way from the Lord's will. Which is never a good thing.

ABIDING THE CYMBAL NOT CLASHING

What stills the night has no lips,
no tongue to tell of tangential timbre
nor a mouth that utters its eloquence
in resonance of sweet, dulcet soliloquies.

Yet, disembodied of inclinations,
a phantom scraping clarity across the mind,
has song and thought heard with stunning clarity,
by the crisp collections of the soul.

When we are alone and eyes comb for laughter
the shadows become a paramour to one's senses,
extended are their talons of sobering poignancy
as cringing as fingernails drug on a chalkboard.

In all the clamor and festive elation,
chorus of triumph and taps,
heard it is symphony of fleeting vanity,
quickly vanquished in any storm.

Remembered more intensely
are the sounds coming in presumed silence,
deep reverberations pounding from within
powerful, throbbing tones from consciousness's base drum
that demands its melody be given light.

None brings a serenade more stirring
than during the times when we sit with mourner's garb
and stare at a coffin of a love one

Harmony

Well the word does have such a great sound to it. A nice image of peace and a lack of stress comes to mind with this word.

But then despite the problem that harmony is difficult to obtain, we do always hope. I'm sure there is harmony in some places.

Such as the cemetery. Not too many arguments take place between the residents. At least none we hear about as a rule.

In any case. Where we wish it was found, it often is missing. And that is sad. In homes and houses of worship, it is sadly often absent.

Which truly is regrettable. But that is in part because of the friction of opinions. Which almost always come from perception.

Even that wouldn't be so bad if people were able to set aside difference for the sake of peace. However, that requires more love than ego.

And even among those who claim they are loving that is often not a quite how it works. So I accept the blame for what I didn't do.

I just know that I am not the only one that has been guilty in such situations. Plenty of others can accept the same responsibility.

However, I doubt it will happen. And in many places the issue of harmony becomes one of enforcement.

At work for example we often have to submit to the harmony of our employers. They set the pace for what is harmony. It is not subject to debate.

And thus it is in many other aspects of life. We can truly appreciate how often that is the nature of life.

With God things should be different. His wills seek harmony from the standpoint of love.

And he does seek to inspire the same in us. Just doesn't happen that often.. Somewhere in all the words of faith and love, we still cling to our opinions.

What I rejoice about is how often God is able to truly keep some harmony through the power of his spirit. Occasionally we do manage to actually achieve a moment of truth and peace.

Just too bad it doesn't happen as often as we would like. Which is a good thing when it is by the Lord's will.

GONE

The moment of a dream that brings you so close to reality and then it vanishes. You are left in the wake of confusion. So sure that it was going to happen the way you imagined and then nothing happens.

Heartbreak is cushioned by the stunned sense of it not really happening. Still you do hope.

And that is the part that matters. For the mind must come to terms with the reality sooner or later.

It is never easy, but you have to try. And it only works if we can lean on the Lord in the process.

This isn't always easy to accomplish. We might get trapped in our feelings of self pity. A very common practice.

This does mean we always learn in the process. It does mean that we necessarily have to feel good about it or are willing to truly embrace it.

I think there is occasion in this situation to truly reflect on what is important. Were are dreams really balanced in the first place.

Dreams are the world that often takes us in the direction different than our values. We can delve into the darkness and create any light we want.

Still it isn't reality. And nor will it be. For that is the part we have to choose in our way of dealing.

God can give us the real light if we will look. Even in our mistakes He will enable us to deal with in a good way.

But only if we listen. How often we fail to do that. Just find the reasons to truly look beyond our disappointments.

And when we do, the sky will appear with images that are not phantoms. They will provide us a chance to do more than dream.

For God is merciful to our desires. And He will channel it in a way that is truly blessed. If we grant him the trust to let Him do so.

Which all is part of the path we have to take in our process of discovery. Hopefully not using a map that takes us to somewhere confusing.

It is all part of the process of learning. Which truly is the path that heals more than it scars.

THE BREASTED ONE

God unveiled though ancient prophets eyes,
showed glimpses of eternal omnipotence,
captured in Hebrew tongue
vivid image language used
for sharing part of the Most High's eternal nature.

Once portrait called forth in scriptures,
Lord revealed in another face as, "The Breasted One."
Faith's meaning expressed
by word picture in mind with interpretation,
fleeing to the shelter of a Mother Bird's wings.

In Heaven's Meadow
at last its truth felt so intensely
unto every arriving soul who trusted,
when the presence of that form appears,
divine love conveying perfection of maternal heart.

EPISODES OF LAUGHTER

There are times when the world truly seems to be nothing but shadows and sorrow. Grief being far more plentiful than love or happiness.

On some occasions this truly does bear down upon the spirit so harshly. And it is so easy to let the darkness cripple.

That is not the same as blinding, more like it takes away one's morale. Totally sucks the very essence of one's spirit from one's life.

So you end up feeling completely lethargic and unable to try and move ahead in life. This can last for the longest amounts of time. Each second feeling like an eternity.

Because one's expectations are maximize in terms of negatives. So the whole world seems like one long valley.

Which is okay. As long as one doesn't decide to take up residence in the valley. Part of its purpose is to inspire a need to keep moving.

That is why it is a valley and not oasis. For the inspiration is to learn from the experience and move on.

Which is what we all must be prepared to do. However, that is never an easy chore. For the reality is we often aren't motivated beyond the woe is me phase.

We want to sit down and moan about our condition, but never actually leave it. Because while we might enjoy the barren situation for the nature of getting sympathy, it still is not a place we are meant to dwell.

But some do. Instead of using a tent, they will end up put up something more permanent, which reflects their intentions.

Oh afterwards they will complain about how harsh the valley is. However, even if you gave them a map to escape they would have some reason for staying.

And the Lord knows one's heart so He is aware of our thoughts. Which is where the issue of faith comes in.

For we have to want to trust to him to leave the valley. That is the part that is very important with faith.

If we do not at least desire to believe in the Lord as our deliverer and look for his help with rescue then all we have is the valley. And even if never leave it during our life, for those who reach out in trust, we will in heaven.

That is worth the effort of trust from my view.

FREE CHOICE

I've come to the point of deciding free choice really isn't that free. It always has a price. Oh we have the freedom to make our choice, but it always comes with some factor that messes us up to some degree.

Now God granted us the freedom to make our own choices. But being imperfect means we do our share of making wrong choices.

And then the fun comes at trying to explain it. Which sometimes means even greater problems.

What we have to do is often look when we make a mistake and try to learn. This is a good option if we really do get the intended lesson.

Otherwise we just will repeat the mistake. Hardly a good thing if the last time ended with disaster.

God doesn't abandon us though. He will always give us the option of listening. His word always contains plenty of wisdom.

Only problem is being willing to read it and do what is says. Life can truly be full of insecurity at times.

This does inflame our need for feeling secure. So we will always give priority to that aspect of freedom.

Pity it doesn't really result in freedom or control. It results in excuses. A big hint that things are not quite right is when repeat the same mistake.

That is not a good example of our being in control or having learned a thing. But we will have a story to explain it.

Will it be the truth? Probably in our thinking. In reality? Well that depends on us to a large degree.

And the Lord is gracious and merciful to us in that regard. Doesn't mean that we will never make a mistake or never end up with the right solutions.

Just that we have the creativity to choose to view or blunders as something other than we want. Which is part of the reality we have to endure.

In the process God will be merciful to us. And we help to guide us when we finally wake up from our mistakes to seek him.

Some do easier than others. And we all at least have the freedom when we choose just to listen when God is speaking.

ON HEAVEN'S SCROLL

On Heaven's scroll
every deed and umbrage spent,
each burden born by a mortal finger
and the times when a cruel lash was used
are penned in golden chalk
wiped away with God's forgiving tears.

Redemptive spirits rest eternal
under shade of grace's mimosa oasis,
not having to fear the risk of a judgmental tariff
for the heartbeats when righteousness came
in brevity's fleeting impulse.

Holding not against us if our mustard seed faith
moved in turtle inclinations
or our thoughts were too pregnant with sin's seeds,
nor that we carved our lives upon asphalt dreams
thinking clever meant time invested
more in fiscal geometry of ambition
than spiritual algebra.

Because His love is unconditional in its salvation,
spread willingly and thick over the sandwich of our lives.