Elevator Etiquette
Stand near the wall,
wear sunglasses,
so nobody will see your eyes
when you are gawking
at a member of the opposite sex.
Always smile if they look at you
so it will take away from your red face,
avoid sneering at the guy,
if being watched,
that is acting like a jerk
while trying to impress
some gal.
But most of all,
for the shear sake of survival,
should nature dare
to infect your behind
until you have to pass the gas,
be sure you move
away the smell
and look at another person
to deflect any guilt.
Also carry small can of air freshener
if you plan on eating beans.
Never play stealth groper
with the lady in front of you
should she be in the company
of her ape, no neck husband.
It's okay to make up stories
about how you really are
as long as when you leave
nobody notices your compact car.