EARTHQUAKES

A thousand villains hide in my clock,
they lurk with stilettos
plotting their perfect moment to attack
when I wait to hear
the rumbles of disasters.

I can feel them rattle and shudder,
tremors that I can see
in the consequences of some hasty decision.
My heart boils with anxiety
patient being a vapor I can never possess,
because my insides cook with fear,
a stew of dread and anxiety’s broth.

Unable to endure the taste,
seconds are so intense with agony
until I act upon my impulse
just to end the misery.

It always is an act without wisdom,
lacking calm and reflection,
expecting the worse and making wrong choices,
all my plans become a house of cards,
left in ruins because I can’t handle
using glue to secure their stability
for it takes to much time.

Ever grateful for each catastrophe survived,
aware next time, despite my ardent vows,
my nerves will still be a Richter scale of panic,
feeling the earthquake
whether it ever occurs
in the fault that runs through my spirit.