UTTERING DAWNS

Life regenerated and filling by thought and prayer. Creating the worlds we wish were real and imagining them to be possible.

It is all part of life. A form of survival in a harsh reality. Some stop day dreaming as kids. They just focus on the day to day routine. Concentrate on making life into a practical haven where there is the least amount stress.

So we stop believing in fantasy and even manage to give up the practice of daydreaming. Not that daydreaming is necessarily a good thing.

But it truly does keep the core of faith alive in many ways. And that stems from hope. The scriptures speak of how without a vision the people perish. That doesn't always mean dying.

It can mean the soul is drained of vitality. You wither on the inside and are unable to function.

That is a form of death where all you care about and are dies. You function, but there is no passion, no joy, just existence.

This might still call being alive, but it isn't truly living. If the heart beats, but doesn't not feel, it is not the process of truly being alive.

For years I lived this way myself. I gleam small whiffs of hope, but the main elements of my life were numb.

I did my best to be faithful, but felt so miserable on the inside. Oh I found ways to cope, but there was little joy in the process.

God was merciful to me. For that I am grateful. He blessed me with a precious gift of new life when I had given up hope.

In many ways I life has not changed. But on the inside I do have hope again. And for the first time joy.

All because I feel when I was in the darkest valley, I didn't chase after the types of fleeting joys that would have never helped me in the long run. As I look back now I'm grateful that I did walk the path where he lead.

There are times it hurt to miss out on some of the things that gave others life, but then I see some of those same people today and appreciate how they are not really happy. The choices of the time have now brought consequences.

I can't say tomorrow won't bring some grief, but I pray I will face it with the happiness of seeing some light where before I only knew tears.