ON TOMORROW'S TIME

One thing I will never pretend about is having patience. It is definitely not among my attributes.

I don't see any merit in claiming otherwise. And you can be sure that age hasn't done much to improve the situation.

With the exception that the years do allow me to have a better feel for how long something is going to take. Doesn't mean I enjoy the wait though.

I wish that waiting wasn't part of the test of faith. However, time will always be part of that reality.

Still, knowing that doesn't improve things all that much. I continue to struggle with the moments that something is there to worry about.

It might not in anyway improve the situation, but it does help me appreciate this is part of who I am. And for me it means keeping that in my mind when faith is something I must cling too.

How that works for me is to embrace it, not lie about it. To know the tides of anxiety inside will always wash over my life.

So it translates into depending even more on the Lord. Which means no rushing on making decisions.

That can be so incredibly difficult. How hard it is to not make a quick pray for the Lord's guidance and then try to solve the problem anyway.

And I have given in to haste way too often at times. Not a source of pride to be sure. Just a realty.

Even though it does cripple my actions at times. Even if I am not able to curb the compulsiveness, I don't let it make me give up.

That is the part that really matters. Mistakes and habits God can grant us grace to cope and deal with, but giving up severs the connection.

Satan sure will try to convince us we should forget it all. He is so good at those kinds of whispers.

Even more finding a willing person to help give us doubts. That also will rip at the heart and bring more doubts.

Only the Holy Spirit has the power to give us strength through such times. And that is the joy that sustains.