FESTERING

I always enjoy listening to people try to dance around admitting when something bothers them and they want to claim it doesn't. This happens a lot with people who have some inability to accept they are capable of hating and being unforgiving.

Instead they will carry on this conversation with the silly suggestion of how they are somehow above it all in terms of being pissed off or hateful. As for forgiveness, oh they never really hold a grudge.

I think the most absurd situation is when people speak of loving everyone. I can't even imagine that being possible.

But if you listen to some individuals, they are in now way as subject to the perils of being human like some of us. Negative emotions never fester in their hearts as they do for the rest of us.

The truth is that in reality we all are subject to such feelings. Pretending they don't exist or we control them when we don't doesn't improve things.

And avoiding truly getting in touch with such feelings only makes things worse. Because when one is dishonest with himself, it doesn't improve life in any way.

What does happen is that life slowly deteriorates. The festering moves from the consciousness till it begins to corrupt the soul.

One loses the capacity to listen on a spiritual level as a result. We become so deaf in terms of hearing what God has to say, that we never even notice.

So one moves from not being able to face some abiding issue such as a lack of ability to forgive to a one point of actually denying sin in one's life. The transition is so subtle that we seldom even notice.

Eventually, the bond with God's spirit is disrupted, providing it was even there to begin with. At that point, after lying long enough, we just stop caring altogether.

God will not keep us from resisting him. And if we persist long enough eventually we stop even worrying about that nudge from his spirit to face the truth.

However, if we do finally listen, it might be a painful journey of discovery to see the truth, but in the long run, we emerge from the battle on the Lord's side. He will bind our wounds and touch us with his mercy.

We can move ahead, slowly rejoicing that we don't have pretend any longer. The festering stops and we feel the cool rush of inner forgiveness. Some how in the process we learn more tolerance that the past. That is perhaps the greatest blessing we can have and one that deserves much thanksgiving.