VOIDS

I can't believe at times the incredible gulf sadness and emptiness that consumes most of my life. I reflect upon my journey and see how much I have lacked in terms of passion, love and all the other elements that we call truly feeling alive.

To be in that void is not always with a means of escape. Sometimes it is a place of testing. One where we later ascend to light and understanding.

For is there truly a point where some light can shine into the darkness if we allow God's spirit to put a candle in the midst of our struggle. Some will be able to know this as a joy, others never will.

In the last few weeks, years of sadness have given way to unexpected joy. The lord has shown me how he is about to take the deep void in my life and fill it so beautifully.

Yet it will not come without a few tears. And the awareness that there is a price to be paid in the heart before joy can truly be complete.

The prospect of pain does not give me a cause to smile. Yet, it is clinging to the vision of what lies beyond that point that gives me the strength to face the time between when the void is filled and the present.

I am touched to be given help from a very caring source in the process. I consider this to be a special blessing from the Lord.

Meanwhile, I am also grieved. For in this process I have seen how someone who has been in void is not reaching the end. Sadly, this person could have found and shared in the same blessings, but preferred to stay in the darkness.

That sadness me, for God's spirit has truly helped me to see that our heart plays such a big part in where our path eventually leads. And at times it means accepting how our souls cannot find peace when we cling to shadows of our own creation.

God would desire that when he gives us the light, we let him purge our lives of those self forged moments of deepest darkness. But we have to allow the match to be struck. We have to be willing to rise above it all to a point of sight that can see the horizon more than the moment.

To give, to receive, the process is a union that requires a true flow from the soul. Sometimes we deprive ourselves of the pure blessing of receiving because we never learn how to honestly give as is the Lord's desire.

The two do work together only sometimes we have to open our heart and reach out before we find the void in our live that he will truly fill. Some never understand this relationship. They never move beyond being consumed by self absorption. That is one void that never truly gets filled.