NOT TODAY

Oh how I hate waiting. I just get to the point when I’m expecting something that I can’t handling the timing.

Then inside, the energy stirs and builds until becomes one of those imaginary be all, end all situations. And that is not, something, which ever brings results.

Now I wish I could say I ever improved in this area. But despite the times I have learned from this, I still fall victim to it.

I have tried to seek the Lord in prayer on this in hopes it will improve. However, that is not the way it has unfolded.

From this I have learned at least the ever growing knowledge about the area of grace. Which is the part that never gets easier.

I will always find that part of the situation other than a joy. But that doesn’t mean I will give up.

Nope, I have accepted that is not the way things will happen. Yet, there is joy in the discovery of one’s inner self.

Not that it keeps this situation for happening. Just takes me to a level of awareness that I can appreciate with more honesty.

Basically, how I am imperfect and God accepts me a such. Even if I do wait for lightning that never comes.

Still, it is part of the journey, the never ending struggle to find the truth. And if we do it in the right way, with eyes open we can find the blessings.

To that end I celebrate. I find the time to be sure that I don’t let the shortcomings bother me.

For there is strength in the acceptance and it comes in the reality that nothing is perfect. Therefore in the Lord is the only place we can find our real refuge.

Does this in anyway result in stop wanting the impossible? Does it prevent a person from being obsessed? Never.

So it becomes a small step. A chance to move along the path to progress within. That is real end all, be all that matters.

And it is the one that truly will count with the Lord. For that I am happy I’ve at least learn to see this as part of faith.

Just taking it with joy is hard at times.