A DOORWAY TO SCARS

One aspect of human nature of which I’ve had way too much experience is in the area of self-abusive behavior. Shooting oneself in the foot with one’s family, friends or employer never leads to respect or mercy. At least it never has in my case.

Instead it seems to summon the opposite response. As if the person wants to help you through that door, which will lead to self-inflicted wounds and the subsequent scars.

In church life is seems that self-abusive behavior, which also seems to include some habitual sin gets ignored. It is as if the attitude is “well you made the choice to cause yourself harm so don’t expect any sympathy.”

I can’t speak for anyone else, but too me and in particular in my case the behavior of making self abusive choices was in part a cry for help. I know that now after years of prayer for understanding, not to mention the Lord leading me to sources of the kind of help that would grant me light in that area of my life. It didn’t deliver me perfectly from such a problem, but it did help grant me understanding and that aided with the guilt over so many bad choices.

For me there is no greater source of compassion, mercy and love than the Lord. When those demons of a lack of self esteem taunt and cast their wicked spell, Jesus is the only means to help rise above the searing flames of self-accusation.

That might seem like a too trite answer, but far too often it does take faith to deal with the problems that hold us prisoner. Some put that faith in people. And some turn to the Lord that he may guides to a source that will help with a given problem. Others turn to other means as the perfect curative panacea for given problem.

I think to me the most terrible aspect is when everyone in your life becomes one more source of wounding. It is as if they want to lead you to that doorway so you can gain even more scars. They don’t honestly care about one’s pain and may even have some image of being loving and caring that naturally you personally never experience.

So let the light of joy from knowing that Jesus understands shine when others don’t. If you’ve opened that same door as I have at times and nobody seems to want to do anything, but mock your weakness, it is the time to lean up God’s promise of forgiveness.

The truth is that when you have stumbled by your own bad choice and others witness it, they lack of compassion is something that God will hold them accountable for. They never seem to realize this fact. But it like so many things they are the tests of the heart God provides for a variety of reasons.

How joyous it is win somebody passes that test and gives you a hug rather than wanting to laugh at you for entering that doorway in the first place. And I pray that in the times when you wander through such a door he will lead you to the few will practice his version of love that is so often lacking in life.