Visiting Oz (Revised Politically Correct Version)

Once upon a plagiarized sitcom cliché
an impoverished maiden member
of oppressed agrarian homesteaders
is surreptitiously ferried by whirlwind
caused by irresponsible toxic air polluters.

She is deposited in world
despoiled by perennially hallucinogenic induced climate
where she meets a rehab commune of small people
under treatment for a lollipop addiction.

They give her direction for help
from the nearest government assistance program agency
run by a defrocked priest who now specializes
in slide shows for sensitivity training
and gives classes in practical self esteem whitewashing.

Along the way she encounters an anorexic schizophrenic
with a messianic straw disorder
that is out of his meds, so he decides to join her.

Next she meets a former member of the military industrial complex
who suffered a nervous breakdown and is dealing with issues
about his fear of metal. This needy person also goes along.

Finally, they meet an animal rights activists
suffering from a persecution complex that decided to seek help with them.

They reach their destination and are given aptitude tests
before being told the must first consult
this embittered matron who runs a Big Lots
selling was monkey effigies.

After a touching moment of self realizing
she submits to a special spiritual ritual cleansing.

In the end, all five and the defrocked priest
move to Los Angeles where this no reality anyway,
open a combination tofu store and Christian Science reading room
living happily less dysfunctional lives forever.