Where Is Heaven?

I never found it in the pews

or the faces of those

who spoke of faith

and God’s love on Sunday,

but forgot it all on Monday morning.

 

It wasn’t real in the words

heard from the thundering pulpits,

nor did prayers that only seemed

to hang on the wind

without a recognizable reply

make me persuaded

something divine truly dwelled

beyond the world where I had survive.

 

In the shallows and counterfeit spirituality

my spirit slowly decayed,

inside I grew so cold

unable imagine the Lord was real

when all I found was pain.

 

All the lectures about scriptures

from broken and bruised hearts

who could hide their  misery

behind quoted verses

never inspired or helped me in anyway.

 

But when I gave up

on all thou shall and shall not,

stopped trying to find heaven

among that whitewashed pillars,

there came a moment of silence

an incense so sweet and serene,

couldn’t explained it,

yet I knew it was the breath of God’s spirit,

and then I learned

once I ceased looking for my idea of the Lord,

He came in my willingness to finally listen

where once I only tried to question.