CROSSROADS

Paths connection us to unexpected horizons, dreams suddenly becoming far to real, destinations reached at the worst possible time, it all bespeaks of change never anticipated nor planned. Of place we reach in our experiences that our hearts have yet to visit.

Burden upon the senses, stored in our vault of presumptions, we carve the world according to our desires, seeing it as our mind creates, inventing reality to agree with our perceptions. Such is the dynamic of human nature that dogs our existence.

And to ignore that nature is almost as bad as giving in to it completely. We just never seem to be able to focus and recall the balance needed between where we want to go and where we have to go.

Complicating it is the fact that our emotions so often manage to cloud our vision. We can't want something so much, even if it isn't the best thing for us that we race off in some direction when reaching a crossroads. If we feel it is right, even if part of us has a sense it isn't right, we go for it.

And we might even stop long enough to utter some quick prayer for God's guiding. Of course so often the truth is that in our hearts, resides in our own passions. So we might say the prayer to be "noble," but deep down we keep thinking, "oh god, please let me go down this road that I want."

Naturally, we never hope God here's that part. We just hope if we pray sincerely enough and say the right things that our Lord will not pay attention to us drooling in hopes we get our way.

What is amazing is that no matter how long we have been trusting the Lord, no matter how much we read the bible, it doesn't keep us from occasionally being selfish. The problem is if we insist upon going down a certain even when God says no.

That is when things can get really difficult. Because God will let us go down that path. And if we lie to ourselves long enough we will even stop feeling those tugs from the Holy Spirit telling us we are making a mistake.

But the thing is when we fall into that mud pit we thought was a swimming pool, God will be there. He might not pick us up immediately, but he won't let us die there either.

However, he won't let us survive without being the kind of loving father that wants the best for us. So at times that means we have to learn the hard way.

It will also mean we might end up with mud clinging to our bodies for a while. And if we let god wash us off with the power of the holy spirit it truly cleanses inside and out. That is a crossroads that one can never feel anything, but joy over in due season if we see it clearly.