Parties

My life has been one constant invitation
to parties held by those
who insisted I wear a disguise
according to their rules.

Their costumes never fit
and they always felt so uncomfortable,
while forced to play their games,
knowing the winner was chosen
before their started.

Each celebration
at home, work, school and church
stuck me with their hoods,
painted with some image
that was never me.

Though they often suffocated
no one cared to see what lied underneath,
soon I couldn’t even remember
who existed when I was naked and alone,
this day’s charade stinging in the awareness
it was all a vain façade
and I was expected to play it as a mime,
never complain the loss of self
nor the sense I was dying inside
from dwelling like a lump of clay
everyone modeled to please their notion
of what I should be in their minds.

I drifted from party to party
feeling more a clown and servant
than a participant,
so miserable and destitute
after the countless antics lacking value or joy.

Then heaven’s door opened before my eyes
and the Lord draped me with His robe of salvation,
not meant to impress, but did cover so well,
content to wear the Holy Spirit’s aura over my essence
as the image worth being seen.