FLICKERING LESSONS

There are times when God’s light seems to flicker rather than shine. We see into the usual darkness and shadows using the flashlight of faith and trying to follow its beam through the myriad of misleading steps that are followed by most of the world.

And along the way, we groan on occasions because the rays of trust seem to become far to faint in terms of their divine source. We can even get lost and then stand in the quiet and bleak blackness and ask, “is there really a God?”

Well perhaps for the person of faith it is spiritually “correct” to confess that kind of doubt. As if not admitting it will somehow make it any less true when we think it.

At the current time my wife and I are going through a terrible time of being anxious over what we feel was the will of God in a given situation. However the problem is that presently that path is covered in nothing, but shadows.

So I must remember the light as I first saw it. That shimmering touch and vision, which never changed, but now in my mind when seeing it against the graying reality it is more of a flicker than shiny expression.

Yet it is truly during the times when the light seems to flicker that we will discover some really important lessons. One I think God intends to help understand ourselves and our relationship with him.

First I think it teaches us about God’s grace. That is providing we can bring to him the truth of our feelings and doubts. For it is only when we lay that confession on his altar of love that we find any real freedom from the fear that such honesty will cause God to turn his back on us. Instead we find, if we truly remove the veil of our preconceive attitudes that God is still there and will strife with us during our pain and low points rather than desert us.

Secondly I think these moments help to teach us about how much we still need to mature in our faith and relationship with the Lord. It is hard on one’s ego at times to be experienced in terms of years in our Christian life and find we aren’t as truly mature as we presumed. That again can be a truly blessed opportunity if we grant ourselves the freedom in Christ to embrace what we see in the soul’s mirror as what God sees.

And so, take heart, rejoice and most of all, good or bad, allow our hearts to tarry and toil with our limitations. The real tragedy is when we simple give up and quit trusting completely.

We can also take comfort in knowing how a given valley does have a season. Whether we come out of it with fruit or weeds will be dependent on if we let God’s spirit water the seeds of our heart.

May the Lord grant us all the sight to see what he wants us to see in the times when the light does flicker. And the strength to keep looking till it shines bright once more.